You knew it was coming, Bristol Palin pregnant with her first child conceived in wedlock. Update!

Courtesy of E Online:

The 26-year-old daughter of 2008 vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin is pregnant with her third child, which will be her second with new husband Dakota Meyer, 28. 

"We are so excited to announce that our family is expanding!" the couple told ET in a statement. "God has blessed us so much; we are thankful for His grace and new beginnings. A springtime baby in the Meyer home and we can't wait!"

Well it looks like some of you were right when you mentioned that Bristol looked like she might be pregnant in her recent Instagram pics.

And look she is finally having a baby in the right order this time, AFTER she is married to its father.

That's what they say, practice eventually makes perfect.

So much for Dakota making a clean break now, because I think this time he knows this child is his.

Update: Here is the picture that they clearly got paid to pose for.

E Online writes a gushy happy birthday post to Bristol Palin consisting mostly of information from her Instagram account. Have your vomit bags ate the ready.

Courtesy of E Online:

As the famous daughter to former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin celebrates her birthday Tuesday, it's impossible not to highlight the past 12 months that have been filled with milestones and memorable moments. 

Shortly before celebrating Christmas, Bristol welcomed a beautiful baby girl into her family. "My sweet Sailor Grace was born yesterday, our family couldn't be more complete," she shared from the hospital. "My heart just doubled."

The article then skims the surface of Bristol's custody battle with Levi, but completely glosses over her court battle with Dakota to first establish that the baby was his, and then his fight to get some kind of custody.

Bristol would address the development in a lengthy Instagram post. "These babies are my world and I will always be doing what is best for them. Every child deserves two loving parents, so I will continue to encourage that no matter what. I have never, and will never, keep them from having a positive relationship with their fathers," she wrote. "I did not 'lose' any custody case—my son has always spent most of his time with me and he will continue to do so, he is happy, healthy, and knows both of his parents love him." 

Ultimately, everything changed when Bristol said "I Do" to her on-again, off-again boyfriend Dakota Meyer in June. 

"We are so happy to share with loved ones the wonderful news that we got married!" the couple announced to Entertainment Tonight. "Hard work and God's grace are the foundation of our new life together, and with the love and support of our family we know we can get through anything."

As all of you here know that custody battle with Levi was ugly as hell, and the only reason that he ended up with what he did is because she was freaked out by the fact that he might start going to the media. In the end she acquiesced to his demands just to get him to stop talking to me.

(Which of course he did. Probably.)

As for Dakota well she just pulled a reverse Donald Trump on him and grabbed him with her.....uh....what are we calling it these days? Kitty cat?

Now hat she has him safely..uh..kitty cat whipped, she can go on and pretend this was the plan all along.

The article then refers to a number of Bristol's Instagram posts insisting that everything is perfect in her sad little life, and ends with this completely nonsensical quote which she undoubtedly stole from an equally ignorant Instagram user:

"Life is full of ups and downs but in the end, you'll end up where you're supposed to be."

Bristol should visit a hospital burn unit or a battered woman's shelter sometime and spout her nonsense to them. I am sure they would have quite an interesting reaction.

So I was kind of waiting for Bristol to introduce her shiny new life to the tabloids and start trying to increase her name recognition for whatever she and her mother have planned next.

As of right now it appears that her short term plan is to continue using her kids to hawk these ridiculous energy drinks, but I am confident that they have a more complex long term plan in mind.

And I think it very likely centers around Dakota.

After all their name is shit right now, especially after Trump loses this election, and their only hope of reinventing themselves is as the wife and mother-in-law of a Medal of Honor winner.

It looks like the good news about Levi Johnston's custody situation has caught fire. Update!

So I shared with you Levi's Facebook post yesterday about the end of his struggle with Bristol Palin over child custody.

I think I might have been the first one to do so in fact, but since then it has been picked up by quite a number of news outlets.

Such as Radar Online: 

Levi Johnston is speaking out about his bitter custody fight over Tripp, his 7-year-old son with his ex, Bristol Palin.

E online:  

Levi Johnston's perseverance paid off. 

Bristol Palin's former fiancé took to Facebook Tuesday to announce that they have finally reached a custody agreement over their son, Tripp Johnston, now 7. In 2009, Levi announced that he was going to sue his high school sweetheart for joint custody of Tripp after alleging that the entire Palin family was making it difficult for him to see his son. The exes reached a child custody stipulation in 2010, allowing Levi to see Tripp on Saturdays between 9:00 a.m. and 4:00 p.m., and Wednesdays from 12:00 p.m. to 6 p.m. The court never approved Levi and Bristol's agreement, however, so it never became finalized. The case was dismissed in 2012 for lack of activity. Then, in 2013, Levi filed a petition in which he sought at least equal custody of Tripp.

US Magazine:

It took seven years and over $100,000, but according to Bristol Palin's ex Levi Johnston, it was worth everything to get joint custody of their son, Tripp. 

Palin's former fiancé took to Facebook on Tuesday, February 23, to give his side of the long and expensive custody battle he's faced in order to legally establish his right to coparent his son.

People Magazine:  

Looks like a win for Levi Johnston. 

The ex-fiancé of Bristol Palin and father of her oldest child, son Tripp, took to Facebook on Tuesday, outlining, in his own words, the end of his ongoing custody battle with the Alaska native. 

Hollywood Life: 

Look who is shocking everyone, Levi Johnston — and for good reason! Bristol Palin’s ex-fiancé has stepped up big time as a father and he wants us all to know. The Alaskan native announced on Facebook that it took seven years and $100,000, but he officially got joint custody of their son, Tripp.

And the Daily Mail:  

Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston have finally settled their child custody dispute over son Tripp seven years after the young boy was born.

Is anybody else picking up a kind of gleeful vibe from some of these news stories, as if the authors kind of enjoy watching the Palins taking one on the chin?

Personally I am happy to report that Levi's post is still up on his Facebook page.

I think we can say with some confidence that the Palins cannot be too happy that he put it up, and I imagine there have been some aggressive attempts to get him to take it down.

But unlike the last time, when it was removed in less than two hours, it appears that Levi is tired of their shit and is leaving this one up.

Good for him.

Update: Well I spoke too soon because it looks like the post has now been taken down.

No way that happened without pressure from the Palins.

Bristol Palin snubs press after being booted off Dancing with the Stars. Update!

Courtesy of E Online:

After getting eliminated on tonight's Dancing With the Stars, Bristol Palin refused to talk to any press after the show. That's a first! 

Yeah I bet that's a first. The first time that DWTS had anybody as entitled and petulant as a member of the Palin family. Considering some of the egos that have competed that is really saying something.

But we did catch up with partner Mark Ballas—here's what he had to say: 

"She's preparing for the schedule that lays ahead," Mark said about his partner's absence. Mmhmm. 

Seriously? As far as I know this was her last hurrah, and I don't know of ANYTHING she has planned for her future, besides breaking open a few wine coolers that is. However I am certain that, knowing the Grizzled Mama, Bristol will be pimped out for some QVC-like show or cable ready dating program at some point before this ridiculous family finally fades from the limelight forever.


So how is she doing? "It's tough man," responded Ballas. "I'm sure it's alarming. I'm just really proud of her. For someone like that with zero entertainment experience, she didn't go down without a fight." 

"Definitely more vocal about what she wants and how she wants to approach things," Mark Ballas said about how Bristol has changed from their first season together. "I really tried my best here. There's not much more I could have done."

Yeah I don't think there was ANYTHING more that Ballas could have done, short of dancing Bristol's part of the dance for her. And didn't he phrase it nicely that she was "definitely more vocal about what she wants and how she wants to approach things?" So much nicer than simply saying she was a "bitch on ice."

But we know better, don't we?

By the way despite Bristol's snotty attitude toward the press she and Mark HAD to honor the part of their contract to appear with Jimmy Kimmel after their elimination. Here is the first part where Bristol demands an apology for the jokes about her mother, and the second part where Kimmel suggest that Bristol should appear on the Bachelorette. (Oh you just KNOW her mother is frantically making phones calls after hearing THAT suggestion.)

Update: Here is more from Extra:

"Extra's" Renee Bargh went to interview the couple after their elimination, but Bristol was nowhere to be found. Ballas spoke of her quick exit from the ballroom, "She's doing okay. She's a little sad." 

He continued, "She went down swinging. Didn't try to back down for anybody. Mama Palin was a little upset."

"Mama Palin was a little upset?"Let me tell you something, that Lunatic from Lake Lucille doesn't just get a "little upset" about ANYTHING! If she was really surprised at the fact that Bristol got voted off there will be all kinds of hell to pay.

My advice to the producers of the show is to not fly on any small planes in the near future.

A "little upset," hah!

A high level Republican insider's take on Sarah Palin.

This comes from an interview conducted by E Online's Ted Casablanca (Who just recently was virtually tarred and feathered by the Palin-bots for reporting on Sarah's great "swag grab" right before the Oscars)

In this interview Casblanca asks a GOP insider what he thinks of Sarah Palin's chances in 2012. You can read the entire interview by clicking the title above, but I wanted to direct your attention to this quote in particular:

I kind of see her as the Jon Gosselin of politics: Way out of her league, thinks she's something more than what she really is and is desperate for attention and tongue-bathing. She doesn't know when to just go away and be quiet for a bit.

Okay look I understand that when somebody is constantly seeking the spotlight and putting their personal life on display for all the world to see, like some kind of sideshow freak, that it may seem fair to compare them to one of the most shallow fame whores on the planet. But I just think that this Republican insider was being completely unfair in making this comparison!

In other words I believe that this man owes John Gosselin an apology!