The rule is to never compare anything to the Nazis, or anyone to Hitler. But you have to admit, they have a point.

And verily the Lord sayeth, "There's a sucker born every minute."

Best scam EVER conceived.

When your minister does not realize that calling his congregates "sheep" is purely metaphorical.

Courtesy of the Daily Mail:  

A South African preacher made his congregation eat grass to 'be closer to God' before stamping on them. 

Under the instruction of Pastor Lesego Daniel of Rabboni Centre Ministries dozens of followers dropped to the floor to eat the grass at his ministry in Garankuwa, north of Pretoria after being told it will 'bring them closer to God.' 

His controversial methods have drawn criticism from thousands of people although members of his congregation swear by his methods - he is said to have claimed that humans can eat anything to feed their bodies and survive on whatever they choose to eat. 

'Yes, we eat grass and we're proud of it because it demonstrates that, with God's power, we can do anything,' Rosemary Phetha told South Africa's Times Live. 

The 21-year-old law student says she had been battling a sore throat for more than a year, but it was healed after she ate the grass. 

Doreen Kgatle, 27, of Ga-rankuwa, suffered a stroke two years ago. 

'I could not walk but soon after eating the grass, as the pastor had ordered, I started gaining strength and an hour later I could walk again,' said Kgatle. 

 Photos on the Rabboni Centre Ministries Facebook page show the followers eating the grass as well as Mr Daniel walking across them as they spread out on the floor. 

Photos that follow show dozens of people getting sick in the toilets - an image of the bathrooms show women clutching their stomach, while the men are vomiting in the sink. 

The pastor's actions during the service prompted a series of online complaints. 

Steven Weinberg once said,  “With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.” 

The same holds true for getting seemingly intelligent people to do truly ridiculous, or harmful things to themselves.

Desperately sick and need a doctor? Not if you have faith.

Suicidally depressed and need counseling as well as medication? Not if you have faith. 

Confused about scientific information, and what it tells us about our planet and solar system? Not if you have faith.

Through faith we can be convinced to suspend our rational minds and buy into any religiously camouflaged BS imaginable.

Even to the point of absurdity.

How is Black Friday not a sign of the end of civilization as we know it?

It is like watching a road show version of the Jerry Springer Show.

Look if you find yourself in handcuffs after fighting with a woman over a 25 inch flat screen TV you may want to reevaluate your damn life.The cost of the TV may be dramatically reduced but your dignity should have a higher price tag.

The other day at my Mom's house I had a couple of female relatives tell me they were heading over to stand in line and take advantage of the Black Friday sales.

I told them they did not have to bother, and that I would gladly hold up a flaming hoop for them to jump through right there in the living room. I also filled them in on why they should avoid shopping at Wal-Mart.

But it did no good, these are my relatives who get all of their information from Facebook, and refuse to read my posts because there are "too many words." (Yeah there's simply no helping some people.)

Let me just say that I have three flat screen televisions in my home, of varying sizes, and that I did NOT ONCE stand outside in the cold for six hours, nor bitchslap a fellow consumer, in order to get my hands on any of them.  Perhaps I am simply not a good example of the American capitalist, but I think I would feel some sense of shame if I had injured another human being or froze my testicles off in order to watch reruns of "How I Met Your Mother" on a slightly larger screen.

It must be pointed out.

But hey, don't let the facts interfere with your unquestioning faith.

After all where would we be without unquestioning faith.

Besides on Mars of course.

(Source.)

"Attention Wal-Mart shoppers, you have just been pepper sprayed!" Welcome to the 2011 version of Black Friday.

"Quit being such a baby! It's a food product, essentially."

Courtesy of the Guardian:

Shoppers in the US kicked off their annual "Black Friday" orgy of consumerism amid scenes of pushing, pulling, running and – in one case – pepper-spraying their way through the doors of the nation's shops and malls. 

The annual tradition, when many stores open early with cut-price sales on the day after Thanksgiving, has become a source of controversy amid frequent scenes of near-rioting and injuries as mobs of people crowd into big-name shops. 

But few can have expected even the most determined of bargain-hunters to adopt the brutal tactics of one female shopper in a Los Angeles suburb who attacked her rivals with pepper-spray: a substance more recently associated with police brutality against Occupy Wall Street protesters. 

At least 20 people, including several children, were injured as the woman deployed her weapon. "I heard screaming and I heard yelling. Moments later my throat stung. I was coughing really bad," said Matthew Lopez, a shopper who recounted his story to the Los Angeles Times. 

The woman, whom witnesses said appeared to be defending an X-Box games console, has not been found or yet identified. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the gigantic store remained open amid the mayhem and other shoppers continued to roam the aisles filling their trolleys with goods. 

The incident occurred late on Thanksgiving evening as the Walmart – like some other stores – had pushed back its Black Friday opening to begin late on Thursday.

You know it's stories like this that make me wonder what the hell is wrong with people?

I mean here we are in the year 2011, so intellectually evolved that we have created a virtual Utopian society (For those that can afford it), and yet under the correct circumstances were are still capable of such incredibly primitive responses we might just as well still be in the back of a cave fighting over a Mastodon leg.

Personally this whole Black Friday thing is something that I avoid like the plague. I like to save money as much as anybody else but will not sacrifice my dignity by standing in the freezing cold for hours outside of a big box store, nor sacrifice my humanity by trampling my fellow human beings just to save a couple of dollars.

On Christmas day I would like to proudly stand up and tell my family members, "I may have spent more than I should have, and perhaps I did not get you the top of line gift that you asked for, but I can assure you that none of your fellow human beings were sucker punched, pepper sprayed, or tasered in the purchase of these items. "

Of course that kind of thinking may place me in the minority. But oh well, when I have I NOT been in the minority?

Palin-bots form support groups to help each other get over disappointment that their idol quit on them yet again.

Courtesy of ABC News:

Sarah Palin’s most passionate supporters held an online forum today to assess what they should do going forward, now that the former Alaska governor has announced she won’t enter the GOP 2012 field. 

Participants of the forum, called Grizzlyfest, came together for three hours to praise Palin, plot how they will continue their grassroots political organizing in 2012, and how they will choose 2012 candidates after Palin stunned the group last month when she announced she would not seek the GOP nomination. The running theme of the event was that despite their chosen candidate’s decision, they will stay active in conservative politics. 

Josh Painter, who runs the blog Texans for Sarah Palin, acknowledged that many supporters he knew were still “coming out of shock” at Palin’s decision, but that Grizzlyfest was an “excellent opportunity” to assess “where we are and where we are going.” 

The forum at times sounded like a support group aimed at re-energizing the group who had devoted so much time to supporting Palin — some even moving to early states to campaign for the non-candidate — convinced she would run for president.

Wow, that is just sad. 

But what can I say? We tried to tell these morons what was about to happen to them, and in response they called us "haters" and told us "You'll see, when she announces YOU will be the ones eating your words!"

Uh huh. Well you just can't help some people.

Anyhow I took dip in the Sea O'Pee for the first time in a month or so, just to see how this "Grizzlyfest" thing came off, and stumbled onto this bit of comedy gold:

We just wanted everyone to know that Governor Palin tried really hard to call into the Grizzly Fest Summit today. Unfortunately, there is an issue with Blog Talk Radio that we didn’t know about previously. Alaskans cannot get through to Blog Talk Radio shows (which is the format we used for Grizzly Fest) using the normal line that those of us in the lower-48 use. Due to technical difficulties, Governor Palin was unable to join us but it wasn’t for lack of trying. As I said, she did try and for a long time I might add. Please note that we were able to talk to Chuck Heath Jr. in Alaska because we called him. 

To those of you who asked whether Governor Palin was the “mystery guest” for the third hour, you are correct. That was who we were waiting for to wrap up the summit.

I'm sorry what?  The "Blog Talk Radio" cannot be used by Alaskans?  Well isn't that a rather ironic coincidence?

Not to be a skeptic, but if they could call Chuck Jr. why could they not have also called the Palin household? And if she has not deigned them important enough to share her home number with them, couldn't Chuck have called on their behalf? He is her brother after all.

Because, and once again trying not to be a skeptic here, it kind of sounds like she blew them off, like she has blown off so many before them, and they are just making excuses to cover up for the fact that she considers them insignificant annoyances that she no longer has any use for.

As a matter of fact, I would be willing to bet that she actually spends more time monitoring THIS blog, then she ever spends visiting the Sea O'Pee.

I mean let's be serious, if you are REALLY talking about "defunct" websites, then I think the Sea O'Pee certainly meets that criteria. Don't you agree?

Christianity in complete disarray as God smites Jesus with lightning bolt and completely destroys Him.

From the Dayton Daily News:

The large Jesus statue iconic to Interstate 75 in Monroe is destroyed following an apparent lightning strike during a thunderstorm.

Motorists were stopped along the highway and around the Monroe area to watch the 62-foot “King of Kings” statue burn. The fire was reported just 11:15 p.m. Monday, June 15. Within minutes, all that was left was the steel frame of the statue at Solid Rock Church, 904 N. Union Road.

Church member Cassie Browning, 27 of Dayton, said she was driving north on I-75 on her way back from Tennessee when her family noticed the statue was missing. “It meant so much to so many people,” said Browning.

“It’s crazy,” said Ted Williams, 35, of Monroe, who could see the statue ablaze from a Shell gas station along Ohio 63.

Sometimes I write a post just for me.

My headline is sort of tongue in cheek of course but we all know that if lightning had struck a tree or building and left a burn that even remotely resembled Jesus, or the Virgin Mary, or even Justin Bieber, people would flock from miles around just to get a glimpse of it and perhaps touch it believing that it had healing properties and could cure their cancer, or their club foot, or that burning sensation when they pee.

But NOBODY will see this as a sign that the people who built it had offended God, or that the Christianity of today has no resemblance to the teachings of Jesus Christ.  Just like nobody ever takes it as a sign from God when a church gets hit by lightning and burns to the ground.  They will just shrug their shoulders, and say "shit happens", and then run off to find the next water stain on a bathroom floor that kind of resembles Pope John Paul if you turn the lights down low and squint with one eye while standing on the toilet seat.

Because essentially, the majority of people are sheep who just desperately want to have their superstitions reinforced without having to consider that out of all of the possible religious, or non-religious choices out there that they might just possibly have chosen the wrong one.

No offense to any Christians, or Jews, or Hindus, or Buddhists, or Muslims, or Taoists, or Jains, or Rastafarian's, or Hare Krishna's, or Scientologists, or Wiccans. You guys are totally correct in your religious choices.  I am referring to those OTHER guys.

The California Democrats take Carly Fiorina's Demon Sheep idea and gives it a steroid injection. Too good to miss!

Hey Carly Fiorina likes to shear sheep too!

Well now we know what she and Sarah have in common!

SarahPAC raises 2 million dollars in 2009 because the world is full of stupid people.

I am sorry was that headline too harsh?

How in the world can a woman who cannot find her ass with both hands and a glow in the dark compass and who lies every single time she opens her crooked, overly botoxed mouth, convince people to give her TWO MILLION dollars of their hard earned cash?

She makes multiple millions of dollars selling that crappy book, has a contract to spout stale talking points on Fox News, and gets paid over a hundred thousand dollars to stand in front of a crowd of people to demonstrate why cousins should never marry, and still the low hanging fruit believes she needs their money! Are these people even allowed to walk around without competent adult supervision?

And get this quote from Meg Stapletongue:

"We are thrilled,” said Meg Stapleton, a senior advisor and spokeswoman for Palin. “Common sense Americans know the direction we need to take this country and that Sarah Palin will be instrumental in taking us there this year. We look forward to the journey ahead!”

Okay I have decided that the term "common sense Americans" is really code for "severely brain damaged, barely ambulatory Americans". These "common sense Americans" can easily be identified by the fact they have to wear motorcycle helmets indoors and bought "Going Rogue" just for the pretty pictures.

At least when you send your money to a televangelist he promises to cure your goiter. What does giving your money to Sarah Palin get you? Less self esteem?

Here is the link to their 2009 disbursements.