Happy Independence Day Alaskans!

Wow has it already been a year since I received that phone call saying that Sarah Palin was about to announce something big at her home in Wasilla?  Really?

I only found out about 45 minutes before she was to give her speech, but then so did almost ALL of the media.  There was this comical Keystone Kops like mad dash by local television affiliates to get out there and get set up before the Thrilla from Wasilla started her speech.

Everybody was very excited and a little confused. Those of us who could not get away from work, or were  otherwise occupied, called back and forth to each other:

"What do you think this is about?" 

"Is she going to resign?"

"Do you think she might finally admit to the faked pregnancy?"

Well as we soon learned Sarah Palin actually DID resign, in a crazy, almost breathless speech, delivered in front of a a dead lake, with waterfowl screaming at her to "shut up and sit down" in the background.

Part one



Part two



Since then she has written a bizarre book full of lies and family mythology, become a Fox News "correspondent", launched a career in public speaking, signed onto a reality show with TLC, and earned over 12 million dollars fleecing the stupidest people on the planet.

Good for her.

However it is Alaska that has benefited the most.  Because WE DO NOT HAVE SARAH PALIN AS OUR GOVERNOR ANYMORE! And as ineffectual and teabaggy as Sean Parnell has become, it is still a far better situation for our state then when Caribou Barbie ran the show.  And by "ran the show" I meant ran home to Wasilla halfway through the workday and sat in her bed watching television while people tried desperately to make an appointment to see her.

Now I could go on and on about all things Sarah Palin, the attacks against our President, the unbelievable number of lies she has told in her speeches and Fox News interviews, the mystery of the ruffled ear baby, the problems with her children, and so on, and so on, and so on.  But if you are a frequent visitor to this blog, you already know all of that.

So instead of that, and to clean your palate after exposing you to that batshit crazy resignation speech, let me leave you with one of my happier, more humorous memories from about a month after Sarah resigned. 

William Shatner finding poetry, and comedy gold, from Sarah Palin's tweets.



Oh yeah! That's the stuff!

One of my few posts that will not anger the Palin-bots. Though you can never be sure.

H/T to Kajo.

Sarah Palin to give a speech that she does not want YOU to hear.

Sarah Palin, the former governor of Alaska who last year contested for the office of US Vice-President, undoubtedly enjoys a lot of media attention at every point in her life. Media has commented on her political as well as personal life and now it appears that she is justly upset with the onslaught aimed at her and wants to prohibit the media from covering her events further. According to the reports, Sarah Palin’s speech on December 2, in the College of the Ozarks, will not get any kind of media coverage.

Elizabeth Andrews, the director of public relations of this school in one of her statements declared that the terms of the contract were mutually agreed upon by Mrs. Palin and the school authorities. Therefore, media rights to telecast this event would be curbed. She said, though media representatives will not be allowed to carry any equipment for audio and video recording at the event, they will be provided tickets to remain present in the program. It has also been reported that Sarah Palin will sign copies of ‘Going Rogue’ but it has not yet been confirmed whether any media representatives will be allowed to cover that event either.

It may confuse people as to why Palin would even bother to give a speech if she did not want very many people to hear it. But I know why.

It is because of this speech.

(You can see part two here. If you can stomach it. If you cannot stand to watch it you can simply read AKMuckraker's brilliant transcript here.)

It was after the media got a hold of THIS bizarre, wandering, spiteful speech filled with word salad and stolen bits of a speech given by Newt Gingrich, that Sarah Palin decided that she had had enough. The next speech in which the media was invited, and only given 55 minutes to attend, was her resignation speech.

Sarah Palin was so upset and frustrated that the media (and bloggers, yes I was there too) had found so much wrong with her speech that she was simply terrified at what might happen in the future.

So she quit. She essentially said take this job and shove, I ain't working here no more. (That one is for you dad.)

And then Sarah Palin turned to Twitter. And so did we. As it turned out Palin was just as ridiculously bizarre on Twitter as she was in person. So ridiculous in fact that it inspired the Tonight Show to have William Shatner read them as rambling beatnik poetry. So somebody hid her Blackberries from her. (She owes that person her eternal gratitude by the way.)

And then came Facebook. Only this time she had a ghostwriter to help her. Though it really did not help that much. Sure the sentences were punctuated properly, and somebody introduced a little concept called footnotes, but crazy Palin ideas are still crazy, even with all of the comma's in the right places.

Next came Sarah Palin's "Book of Lies".

A book so full of fabrications that if they were removed the book would only be about 70 pages long.

And, as all of you know, the media has been having a field day with this latest attempt by Sarah Palin to communicate with the masses.

It has become so bad that Palin will not even allow a film crew in to record her talking to her fans while autographing their books. Paranoid much?

Look I have some advice for Sarah.

Hi Sarah. Remember me? Of course you do, you even once wrote down my license plate number. (Yet you never call.)

If you REALLY want people to stop making fun of you, or pointing out that you are crazy, you need to do one simple thing. Shut up and sit down.

Yes, yes, yes I know that is the one thing you hate to be told (well that and the fact that Levi has a book deal), but let's face it as long as you keep talking, people will keep listening. And as long as we can still hear you, we can still tell that you are batshit crazy.

You have money. You have a brand new compound. You have your cosmetic surgery. Why not simply move on to what is we all know will be your ultimate destination. Selling cheap jewelry on QVC. And spare yourself all of the embarrassment of standing up in front of people and trying to make some kind of sense. We all know you can't do that, so why even try?

So you have a nice day Ms. Palin. And remember, your worst enemy is that person staring back at you in the mirror. Isn't it time you just fired her stupid ass?

Conan O'Brien has William Shatner read tweets from fake Levi Johnston account. Levi is furious!

Levi Johnston is furious over a William Shatner skit on Wednesday's "Tonight Show"-- in which Levi was made to look like a racially insensitive pothead -- claiming the outrageous Twitter posts Conan attributed to Levi were fake.

Rex Butler -- Levi's lawyer -- tells TMZ the Alaskan is demanding a retraction from NBC. What really pisses Butler off ... before Shatner's dramatic reading of Levi's putative Twitter page, Conan said: "All real ... we did not make these up."

Butler says the Twitter page is NOT Levi's and that, "We are in the process of dealing with Twitter first. I think they have an obligation once something like this happens to make some kind of corrective measure."

You know I asked about this Twitter account a while back and found out it was not Levi's.

I feel bad for William Shatner, I mean HE didn't know.

O'Brien should have done a better job of researching it.

The unfortunate thing about this is that we know Sarah is just loving the opportunity to watch Levi get embarrassed in public. Of course the only difference is that he was embarrassed by somebody else's mistake, and she was embarrassed by her own. Kinda different

Update: I was just downtown working on a follow up piece about the homeless and decided to stop in and see if Rex or Tank were available to comment on this story. (Worth a shot right?)

Anyhow, Rex did take a moment to say hi and show me the mountain of paperwork he is currently buried under. Quite literally his office is awash in letters, legal documents, and case files. He may be the hardest working attorney in Anchorage.

I asked him about the Twitter thing and he did express outrage and stated that he was "dealing with it".

He was particularly upset about the drug reference. Rex does not like it when people attempt to disparage Levi by making things up about him. And really WHO could blame him? I can't say whether or not Levi himself is upset, but I can certainly attest to the fact that Rex Butler was not very happy.

I thanked him, told him that if he needed anything to let me know, and left his office. As usual my impression is that Levi is in good hands and that his welfare is the top priority with TeamLevi. For those of you who express concern, I think you can rest easy.

By the way I did get a little gossip. Apparently young Mr. Johnston leaves next week to start his Playgirl shoot. He will do a short interview but Rex said they are pretty much done with those for awhile.

William Shatner reads Sarah Palin's tweets. Oh my God this is funny!

I think that Shatner may have discovered an entirely new career for himself.

I laughed so hard I almost wet myself.