Thoughts and Prayers App commercial.

You know the sad thing is that if this were a real product there are millions of people who would download it.

Absolutely no question about it.

New app will help Americans fleeing Donald Trump's America meet Canadians willing to help them start a new life, and new relationship, north of the border.

Courtesy of the Guardian: 

Maple Match is a matchmaking service like none other. In the words of its website, it “makes it easy for Americans to find the ideal Canadian partner to save them from the unfathomable horror of a Trump presidency”. The app, in other words, wants to help Trump-averse singles find love – and perhaps a new country to call home. At the moment, eager singles can sign up for early access when the dating app launches properly. And when it does, many thousands of unhappy Americans and generous Canadians will be paired.

Okay let's see;

"Middle aged loner, with rapier like wit, middling typing skills, and a love for politics. Seeks relatively attractive woman for long boring conversations about religion, frequent trips to the cinema, and brief yet exhilarating fumbling between the sheets. No weirdos, smokers, or secret Stephen Harper supporters need apply."

Yeah, I'm probably stuck here.

Want to know how to vote? There's an app for that.

Courtesy of Time:  

There’s a lot of room for confusion around how to vote this election season, particularly in states where pending and recent court cases are making last minute changes to the process. 

To help people interested in casting a ballot, Google unveiled a tool Thursday that will make finding out how to vote in your state as easy as typing in a search. 

After noticing an increase in searches for ‘how to vote,” “register to vote” and “where to vote” the search engine launched a series of web tools to streamline and personalize results to certain voting-specific questions. 

The prompt even works for smartphone users with the Google app. If users simply say “Ok, Google. How do I vote?”, information on voter registration , identification requirements, and early voting pops up. 

“With so much at stake on November 4th, including the balance of power in Congress, it is crucial that voters have access to all the information they needed to exercise their power to vote at the polls,” Anthea Watson Strong, the elections and civic engagement program manager at Google said in a blog post Thursday.

I don't necessarily think that Google designed this to help progressives in this next election cycle, but if history tells us anything it's that access to more factual information usually favors the liberals more than it does the conservatives.

Which I think means we can expect some rather angry responses from the Right to Google's attempt to help voters.

According to an obviously flawed study Alaskans spend less time pleasuring their partners in bed than any other state. Oh, that is SO wrong.

Courtesy of The Nerve:

The Spreadsheets App, a mobile app that uses your phone's accelerometer and speakers to provide statistical feedback about your duration, thrusts, and decibel peak, is taking big data to the bedroom. 

"Spreadsheets was created to approach sex in a way that is both light-hearted and improvement oriented," says Danny Wax, Co-founder of the app. "We wanted to create an app that entices users to have some fun with their partner and share in that afterglow experience, while encouraging open dialog and feedback." Whereas some couples might have problems approaching topics like the frequency or quality of their sex lives, fun visual and logical feedback, including 30 earned "achievements" (like Seven in Heaven for a seven-minute rendezvous and Quick Spread for three-minute trysts), feels like a low-pressure way of checking in. Of course, with all wearable and quantified tech comes a gamification component. 

Spreadsheets shared the stats of its 10,000 early adopters so we could investigate who has cross-country endurance and who's a one-minute wonder. Averaging the intercourse time of all users in the United States (the app doesn't cover foreplay), we've provided a ranking of duration in minutes for all 50 states and the District of Columbia as a little bonus. While finishing times of under three minutes may surprise you, remember that these are just the averages among two-pump chumps and Lotharios alike. Besides, previous research has shown that, despite the hubbub about hours-long tantric sessions, intercourse itself usually only lasts for about 3 to 13 minutes.

Okay well it is all good fun until somebody's state comes in dead last in the pump per session category.

Check this crap out:  

Only three weeks after Sandy Hook NRA launches shooting game I-Phone app directed at young children.

Courtesy of America Blog: 

 In a somewhat creepy, and certainly tone-deaf, move, the NRA recently launched an iPhone game app that kids can use to shoot coffin-like targets. And the game is rated for kids aged “4+” – meaning, 4 year olds and up. Four year olds? Seriously?

The game, called “NRA: Practice Range,” was released on January 9, a little more than three weeks since the Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre in Newtown, Connecticut, where 20 six- and seven- year-old children were murdered in a spray of gunfire from a legally-bought weapon. Three weeks later, and the NRA is back is back in the business of peddling guns to kids. But it’s actually worse than that…

One of the options in the “game” is indoor target practice that has kids shooting at things that look like coffins. 

Just as troubling is the fact that this isn’t just a kid’s game – it’s part of the NRA propaganda machine, helping to push political criticism of the White House and Democratic members of Congress to impressionable children. 

Well, so much for the NRA blaming video games for the violence instead of guns, don't you think?

Let's face it the NRA could care less about shooting deaths, or the safety of children in this country.

Their only concern is to sell more guns and attract new members. And apparently they have learned from the church's example that indoctrinating them early is a sure way to create a lifelong congregant.

Romney campaign releases phone app, misspells "America." Just about says it all don't you think?

Well I don't know about everybody else, but I am really looking forward to a better "Amercia."

You know, whatever the hell that is.

I wish I could come up with an image that illustrates, in picture form, the seemingly self destructive nature of the Romney Campaign.  I don't know, perhaps something from his youth that just demonstrates an almost self injurious nature.

Courtesy of Wonkette

 Yeah, something like that. Oh well  I am sure something will turn up eventually.

(P.S. Not to rub salt in the wound or anything, but you know when it comes to spelling, there's an app for that.)

Rick Perry, the first Presidential hopeful to be mocked by an I-Phone app.

Folks who used the I-Phone app for Yelp, were recently greeted with this update:

In the past political candidates have been parodied on SNL, eviscerated on Comedy Central, and made the butt of jokes on late night talk shows, but I do believe this is the first time that anybody has been such a buffoon that they were ridiculed by an app sent out to millions of I-Phone users.

"Hey good news gang! My phone is not making fun of me yet!"

(H/T to TPM.)