For any hopeful Republicans visiting this site (boy are you lost), here is the Republican handbook.

OFFICIAL MEMORANDUM

TO:Aspiring Republican

FROM:Ken Mehlman

CC:George W. Bush

Alberto Gonzalez

Dennis Hastert

God

RE:
Your Interest In Joining The Party
_
On behalf of the overwhelming majority of Americans, I would like to congratulate you for having the courage and conviction to request admittance to the Republican Party. Your desire to join this, the most patriotic of American organizations, says a great deal about your character and intelligence. Understandably, you wish to be part of an elite community comprised of sophisticates, religious leaders and various other wealthy people. We are more than happy to welcome you into the fold.

But before you enjoy the benefits every Republican naturally deserves, you must first learn how to think, act and live correctly, as the forefathers intended. This Handbook will provide the knowledge and ideals you need to do just that. From the power structure of the Party to the methods of purchasing legislation, the pages that follow contain a treasure trove of pertinent information. Only after you have committed these lessons and beliefs to memory will you be ready to take the Republican Oath, and forever swear your loyalty to the Party of Reagan, Jefferson and Schwarzenegger.

As the Chairman of the Republican National Committee, it is with great pleasure I encourage you to become the best Conservative you can be. I leave you with the following challenge: Excel, by any means necessary, lest you be mistaken for a democrat.

I saw this first on Skippy the Bush Kangaroo.
(Yes I know I gave them credit for a post yesterday, and no I am not kissing up to them. Trust me I have borrowed from them tons of times without acknowledging it, but when it is this good I just feel I owe it to them.)