Alaska's "Senator for life" Ted Stevens continues to make us proud.

Almost as freaky as his infamously disjointed "series-of-tubes" speech last year about the Internet (which briefly earned him the Most Lampooned Politician on the Web award), Stevens's reelection site asks visitors to enter a username and password and then -- as they unsuccessfully fumble for a password -- condemns them with a warning that begins:

"Through a series of highly sophisticated and complex algorithms, this system has determined that you are not presently authorized to use this system function. It could be that you simply mistyped a password, or, it could be that you are some sort of interplanetary alien-being that has no hands and, thus, cannot type." (See screenshot on 2nd page of this post.)

But wait, it gets even weirder:

"If I were a gambler, I would bet that a cat (an orange tabby named Sierra or Harley) somehow jumped onto your keyboard and forgot some of the more important pointers from those typing lessons you paid for. Based on the actual error encountered, I would guess that the feline in question simply forgot to place one or both paws on the appropriate home keys before starting. Then again, I suppose it could have been a keyboard error caused by some form of cosmic radiation; this would fit nicely with my interplanetary alien-being theory."

I just do not even have the energy to say anything sarcastic or illuminating about this fossil. He has overstayed his welcome by over a decade and I hope that my fellow Alaskans will finally come to their senses and vote his wrinkled ass out of office.