If you wonder why kids today feel entitled to special treatment blame Mr. Rogers.

Fred Rogers, the late TV icon, told several generations of children that they were "special" just for being whoever they were. He meant well, and he was a sterling role model in many ways. But what often got lost in his self-esteem-building patter was the idea that being special comes from working hard and having high expectations for yourself.

Now Mr. Rogers, like Dr. Spock before him, has been targeted for re-evaluation. And he's not the only one. As educators and researchers struggle to define the new parameters of parenting, circa 2007, some are revisiting the language of child ego-boosting. What are the downsides of telling kids they're special? Is it a mistake to have children call us by our first names? When we focus all conversations on our children's lives, are we denying them the insights found when adults talk about adult things?

I am also a critic of the "everybody wins" method of child development. It does not adequately prepare children for those times that they will fail. We all have to fail. Whether it is not getting the job we want, or the girl we want, or the life we want. And wouldn't it be better to throw our tantrums when we are three, four, and five, and not twenty one or thirty years old?

But nobody gets to make Fred Rogers a scapegoat! Mr. Rogers did not raise these children, he simply provided a safe and loving program that talked about our feelings and acceptance. If parents sat their children in front of the television to be parented by whatever program came on then that is the parents fault, not Mr. Rogers!

That is like blaming children's aggression on the antics of Bugs Bunny and Tom & Jerry. I watched those programs religiously and so far I have not shot anybody in the face with a shotgun nor blown up a mouse with dynamite. (Though one has to wonder if Dick Cheney was an Elmer Fudd fan.)

Fred Rogers was an amazing individual who brought joy and music and understanding to millions of children. Period.