I just heard on MSNBC that missing South Carolina Governor, Mark Sanford, is okay and will return to his office in the next few days.So finally our very brief national nightmare is over, and we can all breathe a sigh of "I really never gave a shit about this story".
I am sure that Mark Sanford will explain to his constituents, and the American people, just why he disappeared right before Father's Day (leaving his children alone and fatherless), and what he learned during his sabbatical. Did he see God? Did he have some sort of revelation? Were there hookers involved? I think the people of South Carolina and the cable news channels have a right to know.
So the only question now is how can Sarah Palin get the limelight back from that media whore bitch Mark Sanford?
Should she take a walk along Turnagain arm and get stuck in the mudflats like these people? (I know one local blogger who would really love that!)
Should she get lost in the woods of Wasilla, miraculous get rescued by Willow (Who we will all mistake for Bristol), and somehow manage to blame it all on Obama's Stimulus package?
Or should she step off of a curb in her Franco Sarto red high heels and snap her ankle so that she can get some of that sweet Lisa Murkowski and Sonia Sotomayor sympathy?
Oh well however she does it you can count on the fact that Governor Sarah will grab back that spotlight somehow. You betcha!
Update: Oh you are going to love this!
Adam Fogle, writing for the Palmetto Scoop, asks, "Why would a sitting governor just up and disappear to the mountains without telling a single soul — including his family?"
"Well, The Palmetto Scoop have discovered the answer to all the secrecy: the governor may have gone for a naked hike," Fogle writes. "No, really."
I am sorry. I am laughing too hard to type anymore.
Great post Gryphen! If only she would go MIA, stuck in mudflats, snap her ankle...
ReplyDeleteBUT not today!!! Today is PaYDAY for Alaska!
Alaskan's get to be paid the $ their gov ripped them off for!!
Maybe she could take a hike in the hilss behind Wasilla and get "lost". Then "saved" by Todd. Fixed news would love that and Great would have an excuse to get her back on air again.
ReplyDeleteSanford takes spotlight from Palin. This will NOT do! New drama MUST be created, but what?
ReplyDeleteMUST involve faux persecution of one of the children. Which one to throw under bus? Whose turn is it? Willow drew the short straw last time -does she get exemption this week?
Look at RawStory, rumor has it that Sanford was doing a 'naked hike' for the summer solstice. It turns out that everyone knew he was hiking and lied about it.
ReplyDeleteGryphen, you said, "...some of that sweet...Sonia Sotomayor sympathy?"
ReplyDeleteNot from everybody.
Another Republican jerk of a Senator, Bob Corker of Tennessee, just embarrassed himself and his state by blowing off his scheduled meeting with nominee Sotomayor because she was 10 minutes late because she couldn't walk fast enough with her crutches and fractured ankle.
Corker's spokespersons (advisors who presumably told him what a jerk he was) have informed the media that the meeting will be rescheduled.
I hope she's waiting in his office, sitting in HIS chair, when he arrives for the meeting. What a jackass.
Gracious. I just read THE BEST ANALYSIS OF SARAH by someone other than an Alaskan blogger that I've read to date. I linked to it on your side bar (which, thanks so much for doing the homework for all of us and letting us know what others are thinking/writing). I got to it through the Hyprocrites and Heffalump site. It is featured on the left hand side. Can't recommend it highly enough. Called The Prime Time of Sarah Palin, it's by Francis Wilkinson of This Week. Brilliant. Brilliant.
ReplyDeleteI think it is GREAT for a Gov to go off to the woods to think and walk for a few days, IF that is what he did, and IF he would have told his LT Gov to be in charge while he was away and that he had to have a working phone of some kind.
ReplyDeletebut he didn't......
So, can anyone verify the whereabouts of Sarah on "naked hiking day"? Surely she would like to commune with nature also too as well as the other flaky governors around the US of A. I think your GINO would probably bring her Blackberries though so I suppose that's not completely naked.
ReplyDeleteSo so funny if true...and so can't wait for confirmation/explanation and the jokes from Letterman, Conan, Stewart, Colbert, Maher, oh I can't wait. And yeah, GINO will be jealous of all the attention.
Seriously though? Naked hiking? Is there not a serious possibility that someone might have snuck in a cell phone with a camera on the trail and snapped one of his political Ass? So, one then wonders, is he a closet naturalist at home too? In the governor's mansion? This is too too funny. I wonder what the fundies will make of this if true. Lt Gov's reaction also priceless. And if it's NOT naked hiking, I'm sure the true explanation will be just as interesting!
LOL, Gryphen! Great post!
ReplyDeleteNAKED HIKING 101: The New GOP
(I mean, we all heard they were going to spend time "in the wilderness", but who knew they would take it literally?)
Well, I guess she will take the limelight back when people realize that, even though her minions just raised a bit over $100,000 in the last week, all of a sudden, HER LEGAL EXPENSES HAVE GONE UP by $100,000, to $600,000!
ReplyDeleteEven though there was some religious group from Texas some time last year that had paid almost $200,000 of her legal bills, which THEN ALREADY were supposedly about $500,000...
(So... $500,000 MINUS $200,000 SHOULD be =$300,000, NOT $500,000 AGAIN. And then add another $100,000 to be taken away by last weeks begathon SHOULD end up as $200,000, NOT as $600,000...)
Gryphen, you never fail to entertain me. What a crack up.
ReplyDeleteWell, let me take a guess about Sanford - he's a white male racist neoconservative religious Republican (and of course their moral values are irreproachable) and he is no where to be found, even by his wife ... so is he vacationing with a hooker or boyfriend?
ReplyDeleteUPDATE: Nude hiking?? Umm, was this co-ed or all male?? If it’s co-ed, he’s in deep sh*t with the wife; if it was all male participants, he’s in a deeper cesspool with the GOP! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
So top that, Sarah! Oh wait, she already did by faking a pregnancy!
ProChoiceGrandma, LMAO! Great!!!!
ReplyDeleteLove your post, Gryphen. LOL
ReplyDeleteMaybe Sanford went out to that trail to move his stash since the stimulus package included monies for that trail!! LOL Or maybe he wasn't anywhere near the woods?! Mixing nudity into it seems to cloud the issue and excuse such behavior. I would have preferred a good alien abduction story, or an occult ritual! LOL! No one would have a problem with anyone taking a few days off. But Sanford's judgment should be questioned for leaving the people's desk unattended.
Palin may try to trump Sanford with those "alleged fake" sex videos. Isn't that Meg called them?
The only way I see Palin being the Republican 2012 nominee is as a sacrificial lamb. Obama will easily win re-election. The GOP needs to put someone on the ticket. They aren't going to tarnish anyone that might have a chance in 2016. So forget about Jindal. I think they may let Sarah run so they can say they were the first party to run a woman at the top of the ticket, and just to shut her up. I really don't think she can damage the party any more than it's been damaged. They may consider it a throw away, her loss will finally shut her up and make her go away, and they'll have 4 years to work on a real candidacy for 2016.
ReplyDeleteAnd she'll never catch on.
That's if the IRS doesn't get her first. Tee hee.
This is not the first time he's played this rodeo. It has happened on other occasions. He'll be PO'd because he got "Caught".
ReplyDeleteAs of 3:45 EST, he had still not communicated with his wife. Why would you believe his office actually spoke to him. Because they said so. They've covered and lied for him on numerous occasions.
In fact, he was in Europe when the fires happened in Myrtle Beach. He had not handed the authority over then either.
How many people dying in an emergency will it take before someone grows a set. If there had been a state emergency, there is a chain of command and knowing how gov works, trying to by-pass is he||. His staff said they would consult with others before making a decision. Say I and others are on fire because they haven't figured how to get their heads out of their arse to make a decision to declare an emergency, they best move to Mars as they sure as he|| aren'e safe on earth.
The only thing acceptible out of this -- Is his and his top staff's resignations --IMMEDIATELY. Who cares about the BS excuses.
The official story is that he was hiking.
ReplyDeleteThe real story is that his SUV was found parked at the Atlanta airport and he was seen boarding a plane.
This is going to get good.
Oh yea, definitely going to be interesting to see where the Governor Really was on Fathers Day. I think it was most telling when his wife, his wife who knows how politics work, said she didn't know where he was and hadn't spoken to him.
ReplyDeleteI don't think this story is over yet.
You all are so funny!! I hate to rain on the image of him hiking naked on the AT but I found this report...
ReplyDelete(I'm using someone else's tinyurl so I hope it works. Just in case--he was spotted by a federal agent at the Atlanta airport boarding a plane. This according to a tv station...
http://tinyurl.com/mcm9jz
He was probably seeking stimulus for his package.
ReplyDeleteLynn-Thanks for the link, we really can't beleive he would be on the trail, stim. funded and all?
ReplyDeleteI'm rooting for what the second commenter says on this post about Sanford:
ReplyDeletehttp://tinyurl.com/lz7ymy
I'll quote it here - from a commenter named wasilladem:
"I like to think that he and the fair Sarah of Alaska holed up in a fancy hotel in Atlanta all week and had hot monkey sex and smoked pot. Sadly, if it were true I'd like both of them more."
A naked hike may be the least of his worries. The article I read last night said that a federal agent spotted him boarding a plane in Atlanta...
ReplyDeleteARGENTINA!? He was in Argentina or at least that's his story now. The reporters who managed to get the courage to ask a couple of questions of him at the Atlanta airport only got the where and when and never got around to asking who, what and how. He said he wanted to go somewhere exotic. How nice for him! I think there should be a campaign by citizens to demand that reporters ask all the important questions (who, what, when, where, how--is that all?) and we could reward them for asking follow up questions. Like the Oscars for reporters. All we seem to have right now is stenographers. I don't need their analysis--we can do that here!!!
ReplyDelete