Saturday, October 17, 2009

Does the world really need to see Levi Johnston's "Johnson"?

So apparently young Levi is hard at work getting himself in shape to show the world his talent in Playgirl magazine. And of course since he is from Alaska that means he is training on a diet of moose meat. No I am not joking.

"Moose meat is very good for you, high in protein and very lean," his trainer, Marvin Jones, tells PEOPLE. "He's an avid hunter, so he has his own."

The 19-year-old father of former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin's grandchild has adopted a 3,500-calorie low-carb diet as part of a grueling regimen to ready him for next month's photo shoot.

Johnston works out three hours a day in the gym, six days a week, followed by cardio training and then a rest in the sauna, says Jones.

"I'm not trying to give him a body builder's look. He's going to be more toned and more defined," says Jones, 46, who plans on training with him until the first or second week of November. "I'd like to see him with rounder and more muscular shoulders, with a fuller chest. We're going to firm his abs up, [and give him a] smaller waist."

Jones says Johnston is committed to the training sessions, which even caused Johnston get sick during his second week of working out.

"I know that's something he wants to do and we're having fun training," says Jones, who is training him in Anchorage, Alaska. "We're looking forward to revealing all his hard work!"

Now this is usually where I would unload a whole wheelbarrow full of snark on Levi Johnston, except I can't. You see I am living in a glass house.

When I was twenty years old I ALSO wanted to pose for Playgirl. I was exceptionally proud of my Alaskan mini-me and believed that I needed to share him with the world.

I worked out between three to five hours a day, had just done some modeling, and thought it would be a great opportunity.

I have to say that my family was very supportive. Well they were laughing too hard to actually SAY anything, but nobody shook their head "no" when I asked if they thought I should do it. In my family that is almost a ringing endorsement.

But then I had one of my rare moments of mental clarity. "In what adverse way might this affect my life later", I asked. The answer was "in too many ways to count". So for one of the very few times in my young life, I actually made an intelligent choice and did NOT send the photos that I had talked some pretty young thing into taking for me. (Of course I do still cherish the memories from that particular Kodak moment.)

So I can completely empathize with young Mr. Johnston. He is young, handsome, and everybody is telling him he is "the shit", which has definitely seduced many, many a young man before him into making some pretty horrible life choices.

By the way I HAVE heard through the grapevine that Levi may keep his "babymaker' tucked safely away from the prying lens of the camera, and just allow them to photograph the "muscles" that he has been working on in the gym instead.

I certainly hope that is true because if not I can assure young Levi that if, and when, he decides to write his tell all book, or give an in depth interview to a reputable magazine, that his penis will be featured front and center in EVERY SINGLE blog that wants to destroy his credibility or portray him as nothing but a money grubbing whore willing to do ANYTHING to make a fast buck.

Levi may love his manhood today, but after these people get through photoshopping it, dressing it up in Barbie clothes, and using it to shame him right back to the wilds of Wasilla, he may never be able to look at it again without feeling a sense of betrayal.

Remember you have a lifetime to live together, no sense in one of you to screwing things up for the both of you. After all isn't that how you got into this predicament in the first place?

26 comments:

  1. Laura6:24 PM

    I'm not sure what to say here Gryphen, except that I think that you wrote a very kind post. Hopefully, Levi or someone close to him will see this and perhaps guide him to a more mature decision.

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  2. SME1316:33 PM

    Like you I am hoping someone talks some sense into him before he destroys future chances for so many things. If Hollywood was his lifelong career choice it may be ok, but the boy needs to understand Hollywood will chew you up and spit you out in a heartbeat and then where will he be.

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  3. Anonymous6:42 PM

    Dress it up in Barbie clothes? Hahahahahahahahaha

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  4. Anonymous6:54 PM

    Thank you Gryphen. Someone had to say it and you found a very caring way to do it.

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  5. Sage advice from someone who was almost there.

    Before the photoshopping starts the attacks will come in the form of claims that parts of Levi's photos were photoshopped for the magazine. Anyone you look at it, this is a lose lose proposition for all involved except the magazine. They'll sell plenty of copies. They are NOT doing Levi any favors and no amount of money they are offering him will cover the damages that will result.

    It's a bad idea. I'm surprised Tank is allowing it.

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  6. I haven't seen a Playgirl magazine in a while, but if memory serves, they are a bit more ... um ... discreet than, say, Playboy or Penthouse. I do hope so.

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  7. They won't be selling any magazines.

    "In August 2008, the magazine announced that it would cease publication of its print edition as of the January 2009 issue. After that point, the magazine plans to continue with an online-only edition" Wikipedia

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  8. Playgirl magazine folded. The Jan/Feb 2009 edition was the magazine's last print edition. Prior to closing, there were reports that it planned to continue online.

    A Google search turned up PlaygirlTV..."The source for hot male hunks, xxx male porn and naked men online"...that looks to be the continuation of the magazine. It's a paid membership site. Hopefully, there's another, classier site that I missed.

    Better yet, I hope Levi will have his own 'Gryphen-like' moment of mental clarity and keep his clothes on.

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  9. Anonymous9:10 PM

    When all is said and done, Levi will be just another redneck from Wasilla.Nobody will want anything to do with him.

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  10. I have no problem with Levi doing this. My boyfriend (now husband) was asked to pose for Playgirl 25 years ago - he declined (but only due to shyness) but I encouraged it. Honestly, it is not a big deal - take the money and run Levi! Burt Reynolds did it - athletes have done it - it is not the end of the world. Of ocurse, a book would be better!

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  11. Aussie Blue Sky12:11 AM

    If his lawyer thinks it's OK for Levi to show his bottom, then I guess it is, though I certainly have no need of seeing it. Levi was way too flabby for a boy his age, anyway.

    I wonder what sort of regrets Bristol might be having ....

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  12. Anonymous3:15 AM

    Levi would have looked like a hero if he had said - I have to support my son and this is one way of doing it!

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  13. Anonymous8:41 AM

    Excellent advice to Sir Levi, Gryphen.
    I agree with Ella, this is no big deal. I thought Playgirl was tongue in cheek pretty clean stuff and that this is more of a spoof for Levi. Of course, they need a big lead up. That might be too tacky for some taste. He is a kid and I don't know why it matters what he does at this point, other then his children. Being a major porn star, not saying that is what Levi is, does not make you a bad parent, but it is a area where people do pass judgment and gossip.

    The money could have been in revealing Palin. What he can reveal about Palins would need back up. Sadie is all he has? She is not without her problems. Is she in school to be a surgeon like she said? Her pictures are still on the internet where she looks like a typical teen alcoholic homegrown in The Silla. The matter with Levi's mother is possibly what held him back, circumstances out of his control.

    He needs money and he is going to be dumped on by a monstrous political machine no matter what he does. Is the timing going well for him? If not, he missed the golden ring. If he needs to eke out what he can at this time, he does have a small following that will be on board until he retires later next year.

    Prince William was photographed urinating in public and in some gawd awful situations. They are not from comparable back ground or situations but "boys will be boys."

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  14. Anonymous8:53 AM

    I agree with Ella, its not the end of the world, and there are a lot of famous men who have posed for Playgirl. Just be discreet and classy.

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  15. I completely doubt either Levi Johnston or Rex Butler will allow any full frontal or completely revealing poses, and I would also bet Tank Jones will be on hand during the photo shoot to ensure no surreptitious pix are taken by the photographer.

    Levi has not struck me as an exhibitionist.

    But posing "tastefully" nude sure is a great way to make a lot of money fast -- if you're not a rogue pitbull quitter-whiner-grifter capable of pulling the wool over a lot of sheeples' eyes.

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  16. Anonymous9:19 AM

    Lol. Unless he's Dirk Diggler he best keep is pride and joy out of sight and keep the honeys guessing length and girth.

    Hey, TANK, get your fat ass in the gym with Levi.

    Low Carb my brother. Make me proud. One Love

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  17. Anonymous9:29 AM

    You know it will make Bristol proud. She'll brag to all her girls, ''Yeah, I f**ked him.'' Heh heh. Good stuff. I hope he doesn't die of protein poisoning. 3500 calories low carb is a lot of protein and fat. And, he can't drink, either, so he screwed. But he'll get ripped up pretty good in couple months. One pound = 3500 calories. He has to eat over his maintenance level to gain weight / muscle. Wonder what his maintenance cal level is usually?

    Cardio and 3 hours of weights should cost about 1500 - 2000 calories depending on his routine.

    Well, let's see some before and after pictures. Oh, yeah, we already got the before pics with his ''soft'' self holding a baby, remember?

    From a trainer's perspective I'm looking forward to seeing the difference.

    Go Team Levi !!!

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  18. Anonymous9:39 AM

    You either like him or you don't.

    Personly, think he's not a bad sort. From his twitters he isn't sure he want to do it. I think he won't, because he really isn't an exhibitionist.

    He doesn't want to be used, and isn't into politics, at least not yet.

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  19. emrysa9:40 AM

    levi is getting bad advice. his handlers should be ashamed of themselves.

    "yeah son, daddy has no skills so daddy poses nude to pay for your food. aren't you proud of daddy? daddy is setting a great example for you."

    surely these people could steer levi in a better direction than this.

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  20. Anonymous9:56 AM

    I would have more respect for Todd and Sarah if they were only doing hard core porn now instead of what they do.

    Team Levi is a little cheeky and not out to rock the porn industry.

    It is a good call to look at the training results. That can have desirable results for Levi in spite of all the typical Palinbot crappola. If she disses him in her book it could be gold for him. If he can hit back with some real info on her he'll go platinum.

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  21. Hey, remember Marky Mark/Mark Wahlberg? Maybe Levi will land an underwear modeling gig after this. Who knows? Personally I'd love it if he did for the look on Palin's face every time she sees it - a huge billboard one like David Beckham...hmmm...but, I digress.
    Okay, let me get back on topic, errr, young Levi will be fine...I think even Keanu Reeves posed for some artsy shots with his posterior showing, and, oh...I'm digressing again...I remember that photo reallyt well. Ssshh, don't tell my husband.

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  22. Anonymous11:20 AM

    We are a puritanical country. The Victorian age will never die. Which is great news for all the hypocrites that act like they are saints by day and at night pay a hooker or abuse the young for sex.

    Levi is not doing anything outrageous even if it isn't my taste. I won't know that until I see what he's up to.

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  23. Anonymous12:44 PM

    Might not necessarily ruin him to pose nude.
    Remember when Vanessa Williams won Miss America and then Penthouse said, "Hey, we happen to have some really raunchy photos of her" and then she had to give the crown back?
    Well, now she's on Ugly Betty and no one ever mentions that scandal now.
    (Oopsie.)

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  24. Anonymous2:52 PM

    Hey LEVI get yourself on ENTOURAGE

    then you'll be a rock star in the right demographic.

    Produced by Mark Wahlberg. That show is the shit!!

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  25. honestyinGov11:57 AM

    Hey Gryphen,( this is OT )
    I was following up on something someone posted late yesterday and this goes back to your story about the 2001 Video. It might be being promoted or put out by the "OathKeepers". Google them. They are like a ' Tenthers Militia 'or somethong who don't believe in following the law.Lots of youTube clips under "OathKeepersOK".The Las Vegas paper put out a story just yesterday.There were a couple hundred comments under it. Most were like the typical Palin-bots who defend Her.I think many of the comments were from ' Members ' and they put the word out. Read for yourself. I have a link to the article on the Mudflats Open thread from yesterday.One of the last comments. What I posted on the Flats was a partial quote from someone who said this 2011 Video was put out by this group.Worth following up on to see if this IS the group involved. The ideology is the same.... so it seems to make sense.
    Please check it out and give us a follow-up. The article said these OathKeepers had a connection to Timothy McVeigh If I remember correctly.Sure.... they aren't CRAZY.REAL AmeriKans... like Sarah.

    Please forward the info on to Leah Burton as well. Maybe you can pool some resources and background info. I saw that she commented on your post from yesterday.

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