Saturday, February 28, 2015

The Duck Commander's advice to potential presidential candidates at CPAC, "Carry your Bible and your woman."

Courtesy of Raw Story:  

“In case one of you gets to be president of the United States, make sure you carry your Bible and your woman,” the reality star advised. “I’m just saying, safety. Safety.” 


According to Robertson, the United States was “almost” at a place where both religion and morality had been lost. 

And to make his point, he asserted that the CDC said that 110 million people in the United States were suffering from sexually transmitted diseases or infections. 

“I don’t want you to die early!” he exclaimed. “It you’re disease free and she’s disease free, you’re married, you keep your sex right there, you won’t get sick from a sexually transmitted disease! Come on!” 

“There is a penalty to be paid from what the beatniks and it morphed into the hippies!” the Duck Commander continued. “What do you call the 110 million people who have sexually transmitted illnesses? It’s the revenge of the hippies! Sex, drugs and rock & roll have come back to haunt us! In a bad way!”

I hate to break it to ole Duckie there, but premarital sex and multiple sexual partners predates hippies by several thousands of years. 

Not only that but the hippies had some pretty good ideas about doing away with war, sexism, and racism that I really think we could use a little more of these days.

Sure having sex with more than one partner has some risk factor, but so does owning a gun, driving a car, or eating at Chick fil A, yet I don't see this moron getting all worked up about that.

I always love it when people who get their information about marriage and sex from a book written thousands of years ago, try to give the rest of us advice on how to live our lives. 

“You want a godly, biblical, medically safe option? One man, one woman, married for life.”

You know if I want a boring, unfulfilling, sexually frustrating option, I just might make that choice. 

But until then sexually transmitted diseases, here I come!

(Just kidding kids. Remember, no glove, no love.)

44 comments:

  1. Anonymous4:26 AM

    Listen to him, he knows all about VD. He speaks from experience, warts, cankers, and dripping goo. This is not a man to question.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous4:32 AM

    That I would take ANY sexual advice from this creep is laughable. He looks like a case of crabs just waiting to happen, glove or no glove. Add head lice as a bonus.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous4:33 AM

    This Taliban looking arse had a wild time in his younger days. Maybe he "caught" something, and is trying to warn others? His daughter-in-law ran around on her husband, too, so maybe this is a dig at her? Maybe after seeing $carah's herpes blistered mouth, he is trying to say something else altogether, such as DO not elect a woman who is promiscuous. I would like to hear this bigot's opinion of the PayMe family, especially Fertile Myrtle (aka Bristles) She is too far gone to be a bride of one of his relatives, too old and used up.

    ReplyDelete
  4. What's the difference between this guy and the Taliban? Does he think that he is the Ayatollah of this country? He just looks dirty and stinky with that scraggly beard. Man, those Republicans are all so sexually repressive! Sex on the brain 24/7. He's angry because he's not getting any.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous12:40 PM

      Reminds me of Jew.

      Delete
  5. Anonymous5:21 AM

    Why don't the Democrats have big party like CPAC? Imagine the list of speakers who would attend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous6:09 AM

      No one in the media would cover a Democratic version of this crazy-fest because the speeches would be issue oriented and full of factual content.
      Beaglemom

      Delete
    2. Anonymous9:55 AM

      Why don't the Democrats have big party like CPAC?
      -------------------
      Because all the crazy clowns are republicans.

      Delete
  6. Anonymous5:23 AM

    "In case one of you gets to be president of the United States, make sure you carry your Bible and your woman,"

    Because only men can be president, right? In the the 1960s I grew up hearing this crap. And now I watch the 7 year-old grand- grow up in the same horrible swill. Maybe her grandkid will get a fair shake.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous5:24 AM

    I wonder if they fumigated the building after this Taliban looking clown left?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous5:28 AM

    Except that in the Bible there is often one man and multiple women. Plus sleeping with your slaves, raping your enemies' women etc. Fucking ignorant asshole.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous5:38 AM

    As always, ol' Phil is right on the money. This country is a godless hellhole.

    STDs, thieving religious leaders, discrimination, unabashed racism, fraudulent Christian politicians and outspoken hucksters who fight tooth and nail to starve, sicken, and diminish the life quality of the millions of impoverished Americans that they publicly demonize... sure sounds like the handiwork of a marxist Muslim anti-christ. Butt-sex, I forgot butt-sex.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Culture Warrior5:41 AM

    Where to begin?
    One point: married men have been straying from their marriages from time immemorial, and then bring home STDs to their loyal spouses. And then they carry their Bibles with them to church on Sundays.

    Checking the CDC figures, I see that Louisiana has one of the highest rates of STDs. Better sex education and access to birth control by poor women would change this for the better.
    But, of course, Robertson and his Bible thumpers are against that.

    But-- "beatniks" and "hippies"? Does he know nothing about history? What rock has he been living under, or are 50-year-old epithets still powerful in these culture wars? The CPAC
    guys who need their ED medicine are all for keeping those damned hippies in their place. LOL

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous5:44 AM

    That the Republicans let this homophobic nut job 'speak' at their annual bash Barack Obama gathering actually speaks volumes about the party. The Robertson clan will be unmasked at some point as having some gay skeletons and dalliances in their nest. Then the duck guts will hit the fan!

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  12. A new level of stupid. We have reality show stars making political speeches about God. This is the face of the GOP, wow.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous5:50 AM

    The Robertson clan will be unmasked as having some gay skeletons and dalliances in their closet I'll wager. Then the duckshit will hit the fan!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous5:53 AM

    He's a good example of Christian hypocrisy at its finest.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous5:54 AM

    OT: Hey, Gryph......see this? Right wing nutters' heads exploding.....

    http://dailycaller.com/2012/02/14/former-military-brass-shocked-angered-over-uss-gabrielle-giffords/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous7:34 AM

      …/2012/02/14/…

      According to the URL, this is three-year-old news.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous12:49 PM

      I realize that, the 4pees found it this morning in anger over "the next ship had better be named after Chris Kyle, the TRUE American." Gabby is just a stinkin' democrat and survived.....

      Delete
  16. Anonymous5:56 AM

    I always love it when people who get their information about marriage and sex from a book written thousands of years ago, try to give the rest of us advice on how to live our lives.  
    -Gryphen


    Its ironic that Bristol and Sarah with their current and past sexual history telling America how to live. Come on Sarah and Mini Me, who are you to lecture us?, Sarah were you pregnant before marriage? We know Bristol was and she was still in high school. What about Track and his shotgun marriage? Can't forget Brad Hanson and Curt. Then there's Todd with Shailey? Who is Track's biological father? Then there's Willow's breaking and entering, Colony Girls gang and drugs at the Target parking lot. There's more but what use is it telling you.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Why is it whenever a conservative mentions the Constitution, they usually mention religion right after it? If the writers of the Constitution wanted this country to be Jesus-land, I think they would have said so.

    Plus WRT staying monogamous inside marriage: That idea is not unique to Christianity. Why do these people keep thinking they are special snowflakes?

    ReplyDelete
  18. Anonymous5:58 AM

    He does know he looks like bin Laden, right? I mean can you really lack that level of self-awareness at his age? I guess so....

    ReplyDelete
  19. Anonymous6:02 AM

    After his speech, he probably went back to hotel and had three-way sex with Sarah and Bristol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous8:21 AM

      Is that you Todd?

      Delete
    2. Anonymous11:26 AM

      Nah...they are too old. Remember he likes the 13-year-olds & says 18 is too old.

      Delete
  20. Anonymous6:04 AM

    The PayMe's thought (wrongly) that "what happens in Alaska, stays in Alaska"

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anonymous6:07 AM

    Does he wear a long hairy robe with a rope tied around the middle and is he in his bare feet? Because he sounds like it. He also sounds smelly to me. And, why, exactly is he at C-PAC? Was he a follow-up to Sarah Palin?
    Beaglemom
    Beaglemom

    ReplyDelete
  22. Anonymous6:56 AM

    One big happy family...they deserve each other.
    https://www.facebook.com/sarahpalin/photos/pb.24718773587.-2207520000.1425138689./10152931294168588/?type=3&theater

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous11:24 AM

      what a bunch of dirty-old-sick-fucks.

      Delete
  23. LoveAndKnishesFromBrooklyn7:07 AM

    Was listening to Michelangelo Signorile's show on Sirius yesterday; he was covering CPAC. He mentioned that Jebbie the B seeded his audience with wealthy country club types and their kids, to make it appear as if he filled the room. His spot followed Robertson's. Well, Phil the Duck was rambling on and on, as Mike said, "like a crazy uncle from the attic" about Nazis, godless immigrants and the Chinese(?), STDs, sex, etc., just as Jeb's people were streaming into the room. Mike said it was hysterical to see the horrified reactions of those very refined "Bush supporters" to the bile spewing out of Phil's mangy, spittle-crusted maw. The organizers eventually had to demand that Duckenstein quit hogging the stage and end his inane, pointless verbal vomit. Good times!!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Anonymous8:25 AM

    So, not a single one of the F*ck commander family has EVER had extra-marital relations? What am I saying? These are thumpers. If they had then they can just pray pray pray and all will be forgiven. Right? That would still "allow" them to be above others because their sky monster has somehow forgiven them and "allowed" them to go on preaching the faith. Somebody has to tell others what to do and it might as well be the f*uck commander family. Right? Glass houses? Those are for other people.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Anonymous8:49 AM

    I am utterly blown away such an idiot is speaking at CPAC. But then it is CPAC. The GOP is still reeling from the 1960s and the fallout from the women’s movement. If I was a Gopper I'd be embarrassed by this man’s presence as a speaker. He and Palin are fundamentally ignorant and I’m convinced the GOP uses them in the most vile way — they are considered “just regular folk.” But maybe they are just too stupid to be insulted.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Anonymous8:54 AM

    Why are they always obsessed with other peoples sex life? No worries Phil no one wants your nasty ass.

    ReplyDelete
  27. An European Viewpoint9:03 AM

    He has a thing going with playing the part of the American Christian Taliban and he doesn't want sweet dollars to stop coming his way, thus the posturing and intentionnal dumbing down.
    He's fake.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Anonymous9:43 AM

    I guess he's not endorsing Palin. She might carry her DS child, but I can't see her carrying another woman.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous10:57 AM

      Todd lets women carry HIM.

      Delete
  29. Anonymous11:23 AM

    Sick pedophile. Did he said the had to be 13-year-old little girls? How do these sickos keep getting invited by the rePUGS.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Anonymous12:39 PM

    As the always brilliant pourmecoffee pointed out on twitter, Louisiana, home of the redneck Duck Klan, is #1 in the nation for STDs. 9 of the top 10 worst states for STDs are in the south.

    https://twitter.com/pourmecoffee/status/571381723532959744

    It's not the hippies that Duckie needs to look out for, it's his good ol' boy & girl neighbors.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Anonymous2:21 PM

    Fornication, drugs and rock and roll were his deadbeat dad lifestyle for the first ten years of his marriage, while his wife had to work in a dollar shop to support his three children. He was a pig back then and he's a different pig now.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Anonymous3:58 PM

    Robertson's STD rant can be easily used to make a case favoring same-sex marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Anonymous5:51 PM

    Go f*ck a duck, Robertson.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Jim Wright posted a link to the Duckness' CPAC speech as his Facebook status on 2/27/15, along with this comment. It's worth repeating here in its entirety. The words are Jim's:

    "Scruffies.
    That's what we called them, the blue foxes of Shemya Island. A Scruffy.
    A very long time ago, the Russians introduced a very small population of Arctic blue foxes to this tiny isolated island at the far tip of the Aleutian Island chain. Supposedly the idea was to breed them and then harvest the animals for their fur. It didn't work out that way, partly because around about that time Alaska was sold to the United States and partly because while blue fox fur is valuable, it isn't nearly valuable enough to make a 3000 mile round trip into the middle of the Bering Strait through some of the worst seas and weather in the world worthwhile.
    The island became a military base during WWII and has been periodically occupied and abandoned many times since. I spent plenty of time there and the first thing you learn about are the Scruffies.
    The tiny fox population, left to their own devices for more than a century, ate everything worth eating on the island including each other and spent the remaining time screwing. Today, they are a protected species of bizarre inbred grotesques that make those mutants from The Hills Have Eyes genetic perfection in comparison. Scruffies are a calamity of nature. They are a collection of mismatched limbs, bulging eyes, pelts that resemble a quilt made from various pieces of decaying roadkill, barking spastic malfunction, twisted musculature and malformed skeletons, and complete with enough harelips and hemophilia to get them accepted into the Russian Royal Family without a raised eyebrow.
    Why do I mention it?
    Well, see, no matter how strong a population begins, without genetic diversity, without new ideas, without new blood, eventually you end up with a bunch of dimwitted inbred droolers biting at their own tails and humping their siblings.
    More than a century ago, the Republican Party began with Abraham Lincoln, who ultimately gave his life to hold the Union together.
    Today, the face of the GOP is ... well, it's a goddamned scruffy is what it is."

    ReplyDelete
  35. Anonymous11:40 AM

    yes and its called lusting after little children and fucking your kin. willfulness ignorance provides a breeding ground for such things. banjos??!

    ReplyDelete

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