As I read through them I started to laugh so hard that people in my house actually came to check on me, just in case I had finally snapped.
I will share the last portions with you though I really suggest that you read the whole thing for yourself.
Tracy Is a Slut Chili
Ingredients: Ground beef, onion, green bell pepper, cumin, tomato sauce, red pepper flakes, chili powder, chili beans
1. Climb up on table, announce that you hate Tracy.
2. Slip and fall on guacamole dish, shattering it.
3. Press paper towels against pressure points to stop your forearm from bleeding until paramedics arrive.
4. Text Tracy that you hope she’s happy now and that you really want her to have a good and happy life and you mean it even if it’s not with you because she’s a good person and you mean that seriously and you just love her so much and you’re sorry and you love her forever but you just want her to be happy.
5.Tell paramedics you will never be in love with anybody ever again and that you want to just be alone forever and you don’t even care because it’s what you really want. You don’t need Tracy or anybody.
6. Swing at paramedics and tell them to get off you because you’re an ultimate fighter and you know jitsu-moves.
7. Cover and simmer for 1 1/2 hours, stirring occasionally.
8. Cry, black out.
Personally this how I prepare all of my meals.
