I really am not a fan of camping these days, but I promised friends that I would suck it up and leave my padded toilet seat and automatic coffee brewer at home to head out to the wilderness for some burnt hot dogs and soggy toilet paper. (Oh boy!)
There are an ungodly number of mosquitoes this year which does not bode well for me because apparently I am delicious. So I expect the skeeters to be all over my ass tonight. As well as my head, my arms, and my feet. (God I hate mosquito bites on my feet!)
Once years ago one even tried to bite me on my incredible moisture seeking missile of love, while I was relieving myself in the woods. This caused me to panic a little and give my best friend an impromptu golden shower.
He actually NEVER believed me about the mosquito, and thought I was just being an ass. (Fuck him then, I'm glad I peed on him!)
I have finagled a way to get internet access tonight so I will be updating posts and possibly posting comments. You know if I get bored of all the nothing out here.
Tomorrow is the 4th so I plan to get the hell out of Wasilla before it gets late and the Teabaggers start blowing off their fingers and drinking themselves blind in celebration of their "freedom."(Yeehaw! Let's shoot sumbuddy!)
If I run into the Wendigo I will be sure to back over it and make sure its dead. (Just kidding I will take a picture of her and let you see how emaciated she is these days.)
But hopefully I don't see her, and only have to worry about less frightening things in the woods like bears and machete wielding, hockey mask wearing maniacs. THOSE I can handle.
See ya all in the morning.
"There is coffee out here right? Goddammit!"
