George Will takes the Religious Right to the woodshed for being elitist assholes. "Assholes" is my word, not his. But it was clearly implied.

An aggressively annoying new phrase in America's political lexicon is "values voters." It is used proudly by social conservatives, and carelessly by the media to denote such conservatives.

This phrase diminishes our understanding of politics. It also is arrogant on the part of social conservatives and insulting to everyone else because it implies that only social conservatives vote to advance their values and everyone else votes to . . . well, it is unclear what they supposedly think they are doing with their ballots.

Yeah, you bible thumping pains in the ass, I am a "values voter" as well. Of course much of my "values" are the exact opposite of yours, but they are "values" just the same.

But for the sake of clarification perhaps I should define our differences.

You: Teaching of Creationism in place of Evolution.
Me: Fuck no! Science, and only science, should be taught in science class.

You: Banning homosexual marriage, living together, or touching in any way.
Me: I don't care. I even watched "Brokeback Mountain" through my spread fingers.

You: Abolish abortion!
Me: Uhhh, I have to leave this one up to the ladies. It is their bodies. The idea makes me uncomfortable though. Does that help?

You: Make America a Christian nation.
Me: Absolutely not you megalomaniacal moron! America is America because it embraces religious diversity. If we all believe the same thing that is a theocracy and not what America's founders had in mind. And I don't give a shit about your revisionist version of the founding of this country! You go to church and worship as you see fit, with the knowledge that you have my full support. But keep your religion out of my life! Thank you.

Thank you for allowing me to clear up any confusion about our differing values.

P.S. Oh, I also want a cleaner environment, a more diverse sex education program in schools, more social programs for the mentally ill, universal health coverage, lower property taxes, better movies, health food that tastes like chocolate, and a ban on all marriage in this country. (That last one may change after I am further along in my divorced life, which is actually very satisfying. No really!)