Evolution is going to give men bigger penises and women nicer breasts, but we may be too sick to enjoy them.

By the year 3000, the average human will be 6½ft tall, have coffee-coloured skin and live for 120 years, new research predicts.

And the good news does not end there.

Blokes will be chuffed to learn their willies will get bigger — and women’s boobs will become more pert.

But there is also a downside, the study suggests. We will be more prone to disease and physically weaker because of our increasing reliance on technology.

I have often felt that this was going to happen if people keeping eating at fast food retaurants and never exercising. I did not predict the larger penises however. But what good is a big dick if an erection makes you pass out from loss of blood to your brain?


About 100,000 years from now, mankind may be divided into two distinct groups — with the genetic elite moving in more exclusive circles and losing contact with the rest of society.

The genetic “haves” will be tall, thin symmetrical, clean, healthy, intelligent and creative.

The genetic “have nots” will be short, stocky, asymmetrical, grubby, unhealthy and not as bright.

I am right square in the middle of those two descriptions. I guess that makes me perfect. Perfect I say!