The military is too restrictive for people like me, or for this guy.

This guy is pretty damn funny, and apparently everything on his list happened to him or to somebody else and he heard about it.

If you do not think you have the time to read the whole thing, make the time because it will definitely make you laugh. And we all need much more levity in our lives.

Here are the first ten just to wet your appetite.

1. Not allowed to watch Southpark when I’m supposed to be working.
2. My proper military title is “Specialist Schwarz” not “Princess Anastasia”.
3. Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic.
4. Not allowed to challenge anyone’s disbelief of black magic by asking for hair.
5. Not allowed to get silicone breast implants.
6. Not allowed to play “Pulp Fiction” with a suction-cup dart pistol and any officer.
7. Not allowed to add “In accordance with the prophesy” to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.
8. Not allowed to add pictures of officers I don’t like to War Criminal posters.
9. Not allowed to title any product “Get Over it”.
10. Not allowed to purchase anyone’s soul on government time.