2nd Amendment Task Force rally on University campus ends up shooting blanks.

A couple of days ago a friend forwarded the following notification to me.

Attention Alaska Patriots (Don't you hate it when they throw around the word "patriot"?  As if everybody who does not agree with them is somehow NOT a patriot. Assholes!)

Anchorage Second Amendment Task Force has with other organizations attempted to bring University of Alaska in compliance with state statutes and the state Constitution regarding firearms on UA properties. UA Board of Regents have refused to comply with the laws of our state and continue to violate our rights to keep and bear arms. We will be accessing all UA properties in Alaska next week with the intention of forcing a conclusion. Either the Board of Regents will arrest law-abiding citizens for trespassing while doing what is constitutionally protected, or they will refuse to engage us. We will win legally, or by rendering the rule limp ("Limp"? Methinks somebody has revealed what their  gun REALLY symbolizes.) We do have Pro Bono representation for any who require it due to this action. I anticipate national media coverage for this event, so represent with the dignity we all exemplify daily. For all interested in participating with bringing our overreaching government officials into compliance with the constitution please contact me at alaskasccc@gmail.com. This will occur next week so prepare now to force compliance of our government.

Thank you

George Hines
State Representative
Alaska Students for Concealed Carry on Campus (SCCC)

My first thought was why can't these guys simply purchase a fancy car to compensate for their inadequacies?  I mean nobody has ever been killed because somebody's Corvette accidentally went off while they were cleaning it.

Then I figured I might as well go to the UAA campus and see what happens because, who knows, one of these guys might do something really stupid and get shot, and I would just hate to miss that!

Well as it turned out the whole event left me feeling, much like I am sure the wives and girlfriends of these gun nuts often feel, completely disappointed. 

At around 11:15 the group representing the SCCC, emerged from behind a building led by, I kid you not, some grandmothers holding flags and a tin of cookies decorated with gun symbols. Following the grannies were a couple of portly gentlemen, well into their late forties (Where the hell were the students?), who ambled up to the gaggle of reporters and cameramen and started to speak nonsensically about "civil rights", and "fairness", and "campus police can't keep us safe".

Then the guy with the biggest mouth, George Hines, used his hand to push his stomach off of his waistband to reveal a fairly tiny pistol in a holster on his now exposed hip. At this the campus police moved forward to address the group.

After telling the two gentlemen who actually had weapons that they were in violation of UAA policy they then asked for their names and proceeded to fill out notification of violations. As soon as the campus police issud the notifications, the John Wayne wannabes meekly took their yellow copies and walked off of the campus over to a nearby sidewalk.

No arguments.

No,  "You can take my guns when you pry them from my cold dead hands". 

Nothing.  Just a sheepish...somewhat subdued...compliance. The very definition of anti-climatic.

However once they were safely off the campus, and  felt the comforting embrace of the liberal Alaska gun laws again, they quickly puffed up their man-boobs and renewed their macho spiel.

Hines once again started bellowing for the entertainment of the reporters who had dutifully followed him to the street about student safety and how his rights as a citizen of Alaska were being violated by the University because they would not let him carry his metal pacifier to classes with him. 

I managed to ask him if he really thought he was in danger on teh UAA campus, and he replied that that wasn't the point, the point was that the state of Alaska said he had the right to carry his gun and the University would not allow it. So I asked if he really believed having more guns on campus would actually make it safer for students attending classes and, as crazy as it sounds, he said he did. When I questioned him further as to what he anticipated happening on campus that made him believe he may need protection he brought up the Virginia Tech shooting three years ago (In fact Virginia Tech was brought up quite often.as he and his cohorts struggled to make their case.)

In the bizarro world that these 2nd amendment guys inhabit the fact that shootings had taken place in Virginia Tech and Columbine, as well as a few other schools in this country meant that it could happen on the UAA campus at any moment and they damn sure better be ready to return fire. (You know because more BULLETS in the air means more SAFETY, right?) For some reason the idea that these killings had happened specifically BECAUSE somebody had access to a gun, instead of because somebody DID NOT have access to a gun was a line of logic that did not compute with these sad little men.

After engaging in this ridiculous back and forth my head was starting to hurt so I looked around to see if there was anybody close by that I could have an intelligent conversation with. That is when I spied a group of campus police watching from a distance. So I walked over and struck up a conversation. 

I asked them what they thought of the protest, and which side of the issue they found themselves on, but they demurred and would not answer directly.  However when I brought up the fact that Mr. Hines had identified a part of the campus as "rape alley" and then claimed that there were numerous rapes and sexual assaults taking place the cops became very incensed and told me that this year there had been NO sexual assaults on campus and that the very few that happened in the past had happened in the dorms and NOT in this fictitious "rape alley". They even suggested I visit this website to check for myself.

As you can see there has really not been that much crime on campus in the last three years. But there WERE a substantial number of (as you can see on this site) alcohol and drug violations.

After reading these statistics in the Campus Security Report, which one of the cops had handed me, they then asked me what I thought might have happened if those alcohol and drug violations had also involved a firearm. I had to admit that was a good question, and one that obviously leads one to believe that NOT having weapons on campus is undoubtedly the safest choice.

When I brought up the Virginia Tech shootings, that the 2nd amendment guys bandied about as an example of why students SHOULD be allowed to carry weapons, one of the campus cops said that they hated when they used that example. "When the cops go into a room with a shooter they are not going in there to talk to them.  What do you think would happen if there were several armed people brandishing weapons in that room?" So though the campus police did not want to go on record with their opinons about guns on campus, I do believe their feelings came through loud and clear.

Even though I am a lifelong Alaskan, and have spent my entire life surrounded by hunters and gun enthusiasts, I simply DO NOT understand the mindset which compels a person to carry a weapon around with them 24 hours a day. While walking in the wilds of Alaska, where there is always the chance of running into an aggressive grizzly, I get it, (even though I never carry one there either), but in downtown Anchorage?

One of the pinheads in this group was asked by a reporter why they decided to bring their guns today, and he replied "because I reached down and felt my balls and realized I was a man".

Well you know my response to that is that I also realized I was a man today, however my balls felt perfectly safe leaving the house unarmed.  So what does that say about who is, and who is not manly?

Oh and by the way there were a number of women walking around  campus who were also unarmed, so I guess on that whole "manliness" scale these idiots rank pretty damn low.

But you know even though I left the UAA campus feeling pretty disappointed in some of those who share my gender, there was one bright spot.

I did get a cookie.