Feisty and energetic as ever, Cho opened the show with details about her new gig on Dancing with the Stars and a promise to kick Bristol Palin's ass and go "Tonya Harding on everyone" when the show premiers September 20. She charged head-on into raunchy with an explanation of her winning strategy, which calls for having the most pronounced camel toe. That was just the opener.
Let me take just a moment to welcome Margaret Cho to the Sixth Circle of Hell that is devoted to those who DARE speak out about Sarah Palin or one of her precious progeny. Time to toughen up sister because this shit just got real!
First thing to know is that you are going to want your assistant to open all of your e-mails from now on. Palin-bot e-mails are especially toxic and hate filled so do NOT be surprised if you go through quite a few assistants before the 'bots finally move on to other targets. You know, like me.
Second if you DO actually kick Bristol's ass please make sure to do it on camera, because that is the only thing that will make DWTS even remotely watchable. (Hey, it worked for Jersey Shore!)
The third thing to remember is that if you see a very angry looking overweight white woman wearing a Sarah Palin wig and her signature glasses glaring at you, DO NOT attempt to speak with her! That is Sarah's Facebook ghostwriter RAM, and she loves Sarah so much that she will "cut a bitch" on her behalf. For Mansour doing hard time in a maximum security prison for Sarah Palin would be the chance she has been looking for to finally prove to her idol that she is her biggest fan. (Though personally I prefer the way that Kathy Bates proved that she was James Caan's biggest fan in Misery. What can I say, I just love the classics!)
*Disclaimer: No Bristols were injured during the writing of this post, and IM does not endorse, nor support, any violence toward women. Even Palin women.
I think Margaret Cho would personally answer all the hate email with one hand while using the other to mop the floor with RAM.
ReplyDeletePerhaps for once the exalted Palins and their lackeys will meet someone who won't pander to their shit?
If you've ever seen one of Margaret Cho's acts you'd know that she'd eat a Palinbot live (and she's already probably talked about it sexually and graphically.)
ReplyDeleteI love Margaret!
What a great, funny way to start our day! Thanks.
ReplyDeleteThat is one woman I really don't think they want to piss off.
ReplyDeleteYou. Are. Hilarious!
ReplyDeleteCatfights are ok. meow :) Bring it on.
ReplyDeleteFUNNY ....thank you....I don't plan on watching..I usually don't..I hope Margret Cho gets right up in Bristol's face...it'll be worth it to see Sarah stampede the stage with Mansour and tumble with Cho....OMG...
ReplyDeletebarracuda78
The thing about DWTS, they will keep Bristol in the competion even if she is the worse dancer just to keep the interest or ratings up for the show. If you remember Kate Gosseling, she was kept in the show long after she should have been kick off, IMHO. I think we will see the same with Bristol. She is there for only one reason and that's for the shows ratings.
ReplyDeleteRemember, the Palin's and the bot's don't get satire unless it is done by Rush Limbaugh, so they won't get Cho's raunchy humor without limits.
ReplyDeleteThis will only get the bots out in numbers to vote Cho out, after all, she doesn't see America the way they and the Palin's see America. Cause she don't look Wasilla Main Street American.
And Margaret doesn't lie about her sexuality. She's not a hypocrite.
Gryphen, I wouldn't give the Palin supporters any ideas on how to (fantasize) about torturing you with your worst fear.
ReplyDeleteNext thing you know, you are tied to a bed with a cinderblock between your feet.
Except I don't think they'll whisper lustily at your screams that they "love you."
Of course the C4Pers will vote early and often to keep Bristol on the show long after her actual (lack of) talent should allow.
ReplyDeleteBhahaha! Thanks Gryphen for the first laugh of the day. I am a Margaret Cho fan from waaay back, so I am cheering for her.
ReplyDeleteI do have some kind thoughts for B. (even though I think she is following in the grifting footsteps of Quitty, and lies frequently, although without the bright enthusiasm of her mom) and it is this: I hope she takes the time to look around her and see a different world, a place and people who do not put a high value on SP, and see that she could step away from Wasilla and the compound, and lead a life of her own some day.
"Open letter to 'PBots - 'Bots, if you love All Things Palin, don't vote for Bristol on DWTS. Why? She will be tortured each week she is on the show. She is not up to this. She is a bad dancer. Let her leave after the first week with her paycheck and her 'dignity.' Don't make her become something akin to a dancing bear in a carnival just because you 'love' her mother. She should be home with Tripp."
ReplyDeleteNow, since the 'Bots will ignore my advice, let me say my $$ is on Margaret Cho.
Margaret may need her supporters to vote for her in order to stave off the Palinbots.
ReplyDeleteM from MD
is that bri$tols work ethic or her camel toe showing?
ReplyDeleteWho was the rap fella that danced with Ashley a few years ago...Master P. He not only couldn't dance but wore huge shoes and didn't even try very hard to do the routines. The man took big time flack from the judges but he kept getting voted back...it was pathetic. Also Billy Ray Cyrus..oh baby...he was just humiliated in front of his daughter by the judges. So the judges are the key.....they are vicious. Get the popcorn ready!
ReplyDeleteMargaret Cho is hysterical. I want her to stay on the show for a long time, and here's my advice for her to swing the "Bristol vote" over her way: get a tattoo of the Statue of Liberty on your forearm, Margaret! How could Palin's lemmings possibly argue with THAT tat?
ReplyDeleteYou're funny anon 6:07. Bristol has no chance of living a life all her own as long as blogs and media continue to stalk her and pick apart every pound and freckle on her body. She's trying to rectify her life. She's experiencing new things. it takes guts for a "little country girl" who drives a massive dodge ram to move to Hollywood for one of the most strenuous activities one can do. To denounce her as a grifter and opportunist is to denounce EVERY single person in Hollywood whos face is worth millions. Hollywood strives on the public. They put out what the public want. Julia Roberts may be a fishface and robotic but moviegoers love her. Sadly, entertainment is based on ratings and pretty, charismatic people and talent only comes in second. The world was, is, and will be (for a long time probably) a place where pretty people are handed things and paid to promote things, brains to create things, and average joe smoes who keep america running by creating business.
ReplyDeleteEven if Trig is Bristol's child, who the fuck cares. let her get over what was obviously a crappy high school experience (gee thats a new one) and do what she obviously enjoys doing now. At her Kentucky speaking engagement, she had everyone tearing.
One cannot control others decisions. Liberals - learn this. The general public is not responsible for the bad decisions of others. It is human to feel compassion and charitable to them (as evidenced by millions of private charities) but WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE WELLBEING OF ANYONE BUT OURSELVES AND OUR FAMILIES
you have no idea BRistol will be bad. Most contestants (regardless of background) start out slow and elementary. Most have a hard time learning the moves. the avergae judges score for ep 1 is usually around a 6 or 7. Mark has said on camera Bristol's a sweet girl and coming along well considering she is shy and has never danced. I don't know why gossip sites are trusted anymore. Tabloids are not accurate depictions. Journalists have one agenda and that is to further their careers. Look at Meghan McCains book and her unfortunate run in with a journalist (the one she hugged because the interview went well. she also let him photogrpaph her in bed holding a beer bottle)
ReplyDeleteWe should never trust journalists. They are not sincere.
You know, Saturday was Wasilla Highs homecoming, something Willow attended. Im willing to bet Palin was preoccupied with family events that had to do with that. Theyre an active, close family. I believe it was Heather who accompanied Willow to LA during Labor Day weekend. and Ivy was there too even though I dont think she stays fulltime, as I believe Bristol has an actual nanny. Bristol has been seen out with Ivy sans Tripp.
ReplyDeleteHopefully, the Cho thing is not merely part of the program's schtick, and Cho is being paid by the show to do this, neither Cho nor the showt realizing the zombied insanity of Sarah's followers.
ReplyDeleteHey Sarah! Is Zombied or Zombified a new word?
I see Bristol faking (a Palin DNA characteristic!) an injury early in the competition to get out of the limelight of dancing but then play the usual role - that of the 'professional victim'. She, like the others, get $125,000 I believe for the practice and first few weeks appearance and can therefore then call it a day as her bank account has already been rewarded. It was clearly evident on Leno's show she was totally uncomfortable with this venue and truthfully - stunk the place up. For such an easy step they did on Leno - she crapped out badly meaning the true dancing practice is a trainwreck to be viewed next week. Bet we hear of an injury before next Monday - she comes out limping.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sON0JA7HYq8
ReplyDeleteI suggest we help the bots keep Bristol on the show long enough to see what happens to her belly. If she's just a bit overweight, that belly will whittle away with 8 hours of rehearsals every day.
ReplyDeletehttp://justjared.buzznet.com/photo-gallery/2477348/bristol-palin-dwts-rehearsals-08/
All the talk about 'conservative costumes' has made me suspicious.
One thing that Margaret Cho does when she gets threatening emails is that she posts them on her website - email address and all - and unleashes the power that is her fans upon them.
ReplyDeleteIt's happened a few times and we, her fans, have shut down servers and gotten people into quite a bit of trouble at the ir offices for sending inappropriate emails from their offices.
I think Gryphen just lost Walter Neff for good with this post.
ReplyDeleteBristol from DWTS just yesterday:
ReplyDeletehttp://x17online.com/gallery/view_gallery.php?gallery=BPalinDWTS091310_X17&index=23
What's with all the C4P'ers on here? Go back to your own little hole instead of coming here, whydontcha? Jeebus.
ReplyDeleteYou ain't convincing ANYONE here just as I would not be convincing anyone there about stuff they believe. So, move on.
AH! That felt better.
And yes, what Love&Knishes said in the very first comment - MC would wipe the floor with Bristol - literally! :)
I'll watch (which I've never done before) and even vote if it means MC stays in to bug Bristle.
With apologies to the Dovells...
ReplyDelete...once you dance with me / You'll fall in love you see / The Bristol Stomp will make you mine / All mine / The stars are spinnin every Friday night / They dance the greatest if they do it right / But it's the latest it's the greatest sight to see
Wonder if Bristle will try this one, lovingly nicknamed The Stomp Dance, on DWTS? Can she stomp? We know her momma sure can...on all the people she hates.
Makes me almost wish I had television...almost.
ReplyDeleteAnon 6:49
ReplyDeleteWhile you seem to want to defend Bristol and stand up for her you are missing a critical point. If someone wants a private life, to move forward and restore what they lost then do not call up magazines to broadcasst your private business.
Perhpas she shoud stick to giving speeches to people who only her what they can identify with and disregard facts of reality e.g. 100K paychecks, nannys, people accompanying her, live in help, and the small mountain of little lies that keep coming.
I understand that people and families have diverse beliefs and values. I find the Palin's dysfunction, habitual lying, self aggrandizing, limelight seeking and the public rages if not praised or the lies believed apalling and the antithesis of christian values. People can have and live with christian values and also value education. It's been obvious the Palin's have disdain for even elementary school education or to prepare for public appearances wheter an acting cameo, interview or a huge opportunity like DWTS.
The void of competency is concealed by Palin's ongoing wild twists, demeaning and degrading other people including recently calling some press people "moles".
As a chosen role model for teens I find Bristol participates in falsehoods including lies of ommission leading teens to have a warped sense of reality which will ultimately disservice them.
Boy, oh, boy is DWTS loving the publicity! This is worth every penny they spent on "talent".
ReplyDeleteLMAO!!!!!!! Great post, I needed a good laugh :-)
ReplyDeleteMargaret Cho is hilarious.
ReplyDeleteShe's the real pitbull in this match.
Anon 6:49
ReplyDeleteAre you for real??????
Even if Tri-G is Bristol's who the fuck cares???
All non mentally ill/deluded people on earth care you fucking fool!!!!
Sarah
Palin has created an entire hate-mongering business solely because she stole Tri-G from Bristol and became the self-appointed patron saint of mothers. She tells lie after lie after lie about her pregnancy and Tri-G's birth.
Without Tri-G there WOULD BE NO VP CANDIDATE SARAH PALIN.
I suggest you start caring really soon that Palin co-opted Tri-G or else be the fool. Soon the entire world will know what is palin as day. Sarah 's 7th pregnancy was a massive HOAX
Yes and the only thing Palin asked for during the campaign was a Diet Dr Pepper once in a while. What do they have, "The Palin Book of Answers", I they call you a Diva, just say this.
ReplyDeleteWhat has Bristol lied about? (That can be proven with hard evidence) and Mercede, Levi or Gryphen is not hard evidence.
ReplyDeleteAnd don't say that she was pregnant during prom. I think she was just g
eneralizing, saying she didn't go to prom because of Tripp
By the above I mean, until we know what actually happened in Bristols life, we can't call her a liar.
It does say something that she has more supporters (from wasilla) than sadie though
Here's a little funny, seems like overbreeding media whores of a feather flock together:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.popeater.com/2010/09/14/bristol-palin-secret-dancing-weapon-kate-gosselin/?icid=main|main|dl2|sec3_lnk3|170528
And for those Palinbots out there who say Bristol is trying to "show her work ethic" , blah, blah, deserves not to be picked apart, blah, blah, blah, it's way to late for that. Bristol has sold herself and her baby to the highest bidder since she gave birth. She has appeared on the cover of In Touch Weekly, People Mag, Us Mag, countless times of HER OWN FREE WILL, AND GOT PAID HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS. She made a deal with the devil, and gave up any right to privacy because of her greed. Her image is public domain now, and so is our right to mock her hypocrisy.
And BTW, anons, Ivy Frye was with Willow backstage at Leno, I've seen the pictures. I've seen other pictures with her and Tripp at Disney World. Aunt Heather has her own kids (including an autistic teen) to care for, and I know for a fact her teen daughter Lauden did not go. Ivy Frye is still the Palins paid lackey.
I don't understand how someone who cannot handle criticism would go on a show that is known to mercilessly criticize the untalented. Those judges are not going to pull punches because she is a Palin. You are NOT in Alaska anymore.
ReplyDeleteAs for RAM, I don't think she idolizes Palin as much as you think. I think SHE thinks she made Palin who she is today with her blog posts and now her posts on Facebook. IF Palin ever decides to run for President and wins the GOP nomination, you can bet that the powers that be will get rid of RAM. I feel bad for her because it's like the agent that worked day and night to help you get to the top, only to have the "talent" dump you after she makes it. Hey, you lived in L.A., RAM, so you should be very familiar with this scenario. Unfortunately, given RAM's personality, I don't think this will turn out well. Well, RAM, if you want to be a star in your own right, then I suggest you keep a journal of your adventures with Mrs. Palin for that much anticipated book once you too are thrown under the bus. And in your heart of hearts (since you seem to know Palin so well), you must know that day will come.
6:49
ReplyDelete"One cannot control others' decisions." That's rich coming from someone who is trying to control our opinions.
People who go to Hollywood generally have some talent or special beauty. Bristol has neither. Instead, she's peddling her false tale of abstinence as if she has anything to teach teen moms who have to live in the real world. So yeah, she's gonna get razzed.
What is this nonsense about leaving poor little Bristol alone and she is just trying to make a life for herself? What a bunch of BS! If the girl just wanted to make a life for her and her child, she would quit chasing the spotlights of Hollywood and get a real job and try raising the kid.
ReplyDeleteReading the comments saying that the palinbots will vote to keep Bristol in - won't that just be entertainment though? Wouldn't they be feeding us?
ReplyDeleteI mean, if she's as awful as expected, it's just a hootenanny, right? (I don't know the show though - would she have a chance of winning? And what would she win?).
T
Thank your lucky stars that DWTS is important. Someone might pay attention to Sarah Palin and how much she loves our soldiers. Her best child is clearly her brave warrior son. He is not out there looking awkward like his sister, according to Track, the "c-word." Track is busy working. Bristol doesn't seem to know what he is doing, except in general he is working, she is so clueless. I hope she stays in Hollywood with the paid nanny and the rest of the entourage. She doesn't even know where Track is seriving his country. What a close knit family. Track Palin will no doubt accompany his parents to the Combat Vet ceremony.
ReplyDelete9-11. What are they fighting for? US soldiers 'killed Afghan civilians for sport and collected fingers as trophies'
Soldiers face charges over secret 'kill team' which allegedly murdered at random and collected fingers as trophies of war
Bill O said last night if you don't want the media to bother your kids and Kids are off limits then keep them off DWTS !!!!!!
ReplyDeleteROTFLMAO!!! hammer meet nail!!!!
Anonymous 5:08 PM
ReplyDeleteDWTS has a purpose, it matters. What does Bill O know about dancing? He is an expert on Afghanistan.
Praise the lamestream media for keeping the story about the Stryker soldiers quiet. The public would start making too much out of coincidences. They might even want to know how something like that happens. It could happen to any young man that was not properly trained or hung out with the wrong crowd. It isn't the fault of the military or the war machine propagandists. No one should ever speak of this part of war, it is not pretty or cute but it does happen. Silence is golden. I am so glad the Palins are wise and won't talk about the tragedy that happened to those poor Strykers. The Palin family loves combat vets, but not to talk about the problems makes good common sense for her since she may try and be a president.
Palin “I Raised A Combat Vet”
SARAH PALIN ENDORSES COMBAT VETERANS FOR CONGRESS PAC
Palin lauds country, military at 'crossroads of our nation's history' What a great American. Be sure to watch Bristol dance and vote, vote, vote.
"I've been asked to speak today not as a politician; no, something more, much more. I've been asked to speak as the mother of a soldier, and I'm proud of that distinction. You know, say what you want to say about me, but I raised a combat vet, and you can't take that away from me," Palin said.
"No woman gives birth thinking she will hand over her child to her country, but that's what mothers have done from ancient days."
http://www.facebook.com/combatveteransforcongress
Jeremy Morlock
“I wonder is she knows Jeremy Morlock." Keep them wondering and watching the stars.
Pembunuhan Warga Sipil Afghan oleh Tentara AS Sudah Direncanakan
Stay with what matters, be sure to watch Bristol dance and vote, vote, vote.
I think I'm beginning to understand why Bristol is attempting to be more mucical.
ReplyDeleteHOT! HOT! HOT!
I love Cho. Very funny lady!
ReplyDelete"In the U.S., there's been little coverage of this tale of U.S. atrocities.........." In the U.S., the coverage is all about Dancing and Bristol! We can't have a worried Pentagon, how can we sell a war if the dark side is in the news?
ReplyDelete"Pentagon is worried about how the news will affect support for the war effort."
In the U.S., there's been little coverage of this tale of U.S. atrocities, first reported last week. It must not be as important as the latest Sarah Palin or Glenn Beck piece. But here's Hal Bernton at the Seattle Times reporting a story the New York Times and Washington Post have still failed to report:
As part of one of the widest-ranging U.S. war-crime cases to emerge from the conflict in Afghanistan, charging documents released Wednesday allege soldiers took finger bones and other body parts cut from Afghan corpses.
The documents provide new public details of the cases against a dozen soldiers who served a year in southern Afghanistan with a Western Washington-based Stryker infantry brigade.
But wait! Maybe there is a Palin angle:
Army investigators have built a substantial portion of their case upon the statements of Spc. Jeremy Morlock, of Wasilla, Alaska, who is alleged to have participated in some of the crimes.
"It does not help the perceptions of our forces around the world"
Who cares about the world? The Pentagon doesn't need this exposed and the Palin connectionis best forgotten. Thank you for your silence.
"But their superiors should be put on trial, too. It seems incredible that no one higher than a sergeant knew what was going on. Indeed, as the Christian Science Monitor and AP accounts make clear, Spc. Adam Winfield's father, informed by his son of the crimes, made numerous attempts to inform the Army about what was happening.
But such a trial might have to take place in the court of public opinion, where opposition to the losing war in Afghanistan continues to build."
I love Dancing with the Stars. It is wonderful to see beautiful Bristol learning to dance. She is a far better ambassador for the US than the others.
Many thanks for the link to the photo gallery, and the jury is still out about Bristol's silhouette. This pic is particularly notable:
ReplyDeletehttp://x17online.com/gallery/view_gallery.php?gallery=BPalinDWTS091310_X17&index=24
wow Gryph... you hit a chord with the bots on this one!! LMAO!!!!!
ReplyDeleteGryphen,
ReplyDeleteDon't worry about Margaret. She's not afraid of grizzlies or anyone. She will figure out how to expose the Palin-bot responses on the show. Comedians take critical comments and add them to their repertoire. Margaret has more of an edge, so her comments will be a bit stronger, possibly crude. Margaret may be the one brings out the violent, profanity laced Sarah in a public rant. Watch out for flying canned goods, Margaret!
Margret Cho is a comedian and not a dancer. Who does she think she is anyhoo? Bristol will get on fine with her.
ReplyDeleteI hated all that speculation about Scott Peterson when they alleged he murdered a wife. Not even the media or blogs should judge or talk about killing civilians. Wait to see if there are convictions. They will all go free and be able to talk about any mistakes. Dancing with the Stars proves Americans are light hearted and fun. Bristol's work ethic is what keeps her strong.
More Grist For the Palin Conspiracy Nuts
"As with all stories of this sort, judgment should be withheld until the facts are revealed and any prosecution, if it even materializes, is made. We have heard of too many of these sort of stories which have either resulted in charges being dropped or the accused being found not guilty."
http://jammiewearingfool.blogspot.com/2010/06/more-grist-for-palin-conspiracy-nuts.html
9/14/10 Bristol Palin bails on dance practice
ReplyDeletehttp://www.washingtonexaminer.com/politics/blogs/yeas-and-nays/Bristol-Palin-bails-on-dance-practice-863271-102907459.html
The Vegas sportsbook gave her a 35 to 1.
How many practices can she skip? What happened to work ethics?
There is some crazy stuff going on. Bring back the old time uplifting entertainment and dancing.
ReplyDeleteThe Guardian
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/sep/09/us-soldiers-afghan-civilians-fingers
"Investigators said Gibbs, 25, hatched a plan with another soldier, Jeremy Morlock, 22, and other members of the unit to form a "kill team". While on patrol over the following months they allegedly killed at least three Afghan civilians. According to the charge sheet, the first target was Gul Mudin, who was killed "by means of throwing a fragmentary grenade at him and shooting him with a rifle", when the patrol entered the village of La Mohammed Kalay in January.
Morlock and another soldier, Andrew Holmes, were on guard at the edge of a poppy field when Mudin emerged and stopped on the other side of a wall from the soldiers. Gibbs allegedly handed Morlock a grenade who armed it and dropped it over the wall next to the Afghan and dived for cover. Holmes, 19, then allegedly fired over the wall.
Later in the day, Morlock is alleged to have told Holmes that the killing was for fun and threatened him if he told anyone."
Just listened to an interview Margaret Cho did with the gay radio show Ben and Dave's Six Pack - it. is. hilarious. Everyone should check it out!! http://sixpackage.com/post/1001834419/50-gates-of-wisdom
ReplyDelete