Wednesday, November 09, 2011

The Herman Cain scandal as covered by he only type of media that should take him seriously, the comics section.

I feel it must be pointed out that this scandal ultimately has NOTHING to do with Herman Cain's shot at the Republican nomination, as he never really had a shot at it in the first place. He has always been a sideshow, and a distraction from the real potential nominees.

However it has become increasingly apparent to me that perhaps one of the only people who did not realize that was Hermann Cain himself. He seems genuinely surprised that his campaign is self destructing.

Are any of you surprised?

Yeah, that's what I thought.


  1. angela2:07 AM

    Herman is trying to save his speaking fee potential and his marriage. He's a know nothing and a piece of ludicrous Koch astroturf.

    I don't think his wife got a prenup. Good. How embarrassing for her. She'll stick by him though. Poor thing.

  2. Self-obsession, not self-awareness has always been the downfall of right-wing wing-nuts -- Sarah Palin leading the rabid pack as they untimately self-destruct.

  3. I find it amusing that Cain is blaming the Dems and liberal press for this scandal, when it's pretty obvious that one of his fellow Republican opponents leaked this info. It just shows how unaware he is. He may be a good businessman, but he's a inept politician.

  4. Anonymous4:48 AM

    Herman likes white women..

    He has offered Sarah a position on is staff.

  5. Anonymous4:59 AM

    Sarah Palin seems to like "Herb" Cain... so what does that tell you?

    Sarah Palin endorsed Looser Delaware U.S. Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell.

    Sarah Palin endorsed Alaska's Looser Joe Miller who did not return the favor LOL.

    Sarah Palin endorsed Looser John McCain.

    Sarah Palin endorsed Uneducated Bristol Palin's Looser book.

    It looks like Herb has received the Sarah Palin Kiss of Death!

  6. Anonymous5:30 AM

    Behold the power of the women when they stand together:

    "My client has decided to hold a joint news conference with as many of the women who complained of sexual harassment by Herman Cain as will participate," said Joel P. Bennett, the Washington lawyer for Karen Kraushaar, whose harassment claims against Cain got the current controversy rolling after a report of it appeared last week in Politico.,0,7925369.story

  7. Anonymous5:31 AM

    Slip slidin' away...

    It’s Sticking: Two Weeks Of Scandal Take Their Toll On Herman Cain’s Support

    ...As Cain flops around trying to get his hands around the growing scandal dogging his campaign, he’s lost the one thing that was his calling card throughout the entire campaign — his high numbers in the Gallup intensity score.

    As TPM’s Kyle Leighton reported at the outbreak of the Cain scandal, that Gallup number — which is intended to show relative approval ratings among candidates with vastly different name ID levels — was the barometer that would show how Cain was weathering the scandal.

    It’s not going well.

  8. Anonymous5:45 AM

    She's done it again! Brilliant!

  9. Anonymous5:50 AM

    Twisted media:

  10. Anonymous5:51 AM

    Ain't it the truth.

  11. Anonymous5:57 AM

    Cain shifts his blame to the ‘Democrat machine’

    ...Let’s note a few relevant angles here.

    First, Cain’s conspiracy theory isn’t even grammatically right. I think he meant to blame the “Democratic machine.”

    Second, asked for proof that Democrats had anything to do with this, Cain could offer nothing.

    Third, Cain may not understand this, but I’ll let him in on a little secret: Democrats have no interest in tearing down his candidacy because they’d love it if he won the nomination. The made-up theory isn’t even plausible.

    Cain’s conspiracy theory, in other words, could use a little work.

  12. Anonymous6:05 AM

    I, for one thing we should trust and believe Herman (Mc)Cain. We should completely trust and believe him when he say he and the Koch brothers are alike, that is!

    london bridges

  13. Anonymous6:20 AM

    I'm with James Carville on this--run-ups to Rethug nominations are very entertaining.


  14. Anonymous6:21 AM

    Inappropriate sexual behavior raises questions of character and even of criminality. We don't know if Cain is guilty of such behavior. What we do know is that he's willing to wrap himself in the flag in order to deflect these charges. And that, to me, reflects poorly on his judgment and his character.

  15. Anonymous6:23 AM

    Cain Camp Makes Outrageous False Claim About Accuser

  16. Anonymous6:30 AM

    I lost it with this one

    Anonymous said...
    Herman likes white women..

    He has offered Sarah a position on is staff.

    4:48 AM

    Depends on what your definition of "Staff" is, but I got a Glen Rice and Sarah Palin image. Replacing Cain and the older version of Sarah is something even brain bleach can't solve.

    But we all know it's President Obama she wants, and that will never happen.

    Watching Jansing and Company, and the four accusers are willing to join forces and sing like canaries!

    Care to take that lie detector, Mr Cain?

    Yeah, I didn't think so either.

  17. Anonymous6:37 AM

    Bob Beckel, Eric Bolling Clash, Swear Over Herman Cain (VIDEO)

  18. Anonymous6:58 AM

    Most voters now say that the sexual harassment allegations made against Herman Cain may be both serious and true. At the same time, two-thirds believe Cain’s ethics are at least as good as most politicians. The latest Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey finds that 51% of voters nationwide say it is at least somewhat likely the allegations against Cain are both serious and true.

  19. Beldar Eyeroll Conehead8:05 AM

    You Want A Job; I Want A... Job
    A play in one act by Phil Layshio
    setting: the bucolic Virginia site of the Non-Partisan Residential Treatment Center For Sexual Misbehavior and Related Political Maladies. Dusk. Two adirondack chairs set on a porch overlooking the magnificent Blue Ridge Mountains.
    Cast: Herb, a handsome 65 year old blowhard former pizza magnate with an impressive (and unwarranted) sense of his own suitability for high public office
    Anthony, a nebbishy 45 year old former congressman with poor impulse control

    Herb: Hey, Tony, did I tell you my wife is coming to visit today? A CONJUGAL visit!
    Anthony: Herb, first, I keep telling you I prefer 'Anthony' and second, yes, you told me she's coming, but you tell me every day and she never...
    Herb: Yeah, I'm pretty excited. She's a good woman. She comes up to here on me!! heh heh heh(holds his hand level with his crotch) Hey, Tony, did I tell you I touched Rosaria yesterday?
    Anthony: Herb, they really don't want you to grope the nurs...
    Herb: Yeah, I finally figured out you gotta wait till the end of her shift when the batteries run down on her taser. It still stings a little, but man, it's worth it... she's got quite a rack, wow.
    Anthony: Herb, it's getting late, I have an early group in the morning and...
    Herb: Sit down a minute, Tony. Hey, ya know, I made the pizza at dinner tonight! What did you think? Great pizza, right?
    Anthony: Herb, it was a little greas...
    Herb: Yeah, it's awesome, I know. Did I tell you? The ingredients for that pizza cost 11 cents? ELEVEN CENTS, Man!! You sell that for $9.99 a pie: INSANE profit!!
    Anthony: It had a sort of funny smell...
    Herb: Ya know the white gooey stuff on top?
    Anthony: yeah, the cheese...
    Herb: Heh, heh, heh... that ain't no cheese, brother! No, there's no cheese in that pizza. I call it Fo-Cheese. Get it? Faux cheese? I developed it myself, yes sir.
    Anthony: Herb, I have to go...
    Herb: Sit down, Tony. Wanna know what's in Fo-Cheese? Ok, it's talcum powder, paste wax and finely shredded tennis shoes! And the sausage is 100% pig nostril I get for $20 a ton!
    Anthony: Oh god... Good thing, I don't eat pork.
    Herb: What? You Hebrew?
    Anthony: Yes, Herb, I'm Jewish.
    Herb: Oh, yeah? Fine people, the Jews. Had lots of 'em working for me back in the day, yeah. Real smart. Hey, they couldnt control all the newspapers, Hollywood, the banks, prostitution and the illegal drug trade if they werent!
    Anthony: Herb, those are all anti-semitic canards...
    Herb: Hey, did I tell you I got the new Playboy in today?
    Anthony: Herb, you know that's against the rule...
    Herb: Yeah, Lindsay Lohan. Nice rack. Butter face. I wouldnt say no to her if I had her drunk in a locked limo and offered her a job at State in exchange for some... lip service.
    Anthony: Herb, how can you offer her a job at the State Department? You're not president.
    Herb: Heh, heh, heh!! SHE DON"T KNOW THAT!!! Well, Tony, I've got to get ready for my wife's visit. I'm gonna stop by the admin office on my way back to my room. Did you see that new receptionist? Denise? Damn, is she hot!! Her legs go ALL the way to the ground!! She's 24 years old, Tony. TWENTY FOUR! Wanna go with me? You lean over the counter to grab a candy from that bowl, you can look down her blouse. Pretty sweet.
    Anthony: Yeah, ok, Herb, that sounds good.
    Herb: Tony (slapping Anthony's knee) you're all right. And if I can't be out there... running for president, well, I can't think of another place I'd rather be than here. With a swell pal like you.
    Anthony: Thanks, Herb, that's nice of you to say... Hey, did you see that tall housekeeper today? The one with the tight slacks? I forget her name... But I never forget a
    (Anthony, Herb in unison) CAMEL TOE!!! HA HA HA HA...
    The two laughing men walk off stage as the lights dim, the curtain falls and America sleeps just a little more soundly.

  20. So who vetted Cain? Same guys that vetted Palin I bet. I'd sure like to hear Sarah's stories of being sexually exploited in her life....that should keep the boys stoked up for a long time. Good idea for a book uh?

    Good bye Cain....don't be a tool. Don't go away mad, just go away!

  21. @Beldar Eyeroll Conehead:




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It just goes directly to their thighs.