Sunday, November 06, 2011

Shopping for a religion? Having trouble sorting through all of the choices? Here, this should help.

I don't see how people can claim I am anti-religion when I am clearly ALL about religious tolerance? And pro-choice as well! Go ahead, choose.


  1. Wonderful to start the day with a chuckle, thanks.

    Wonderful also to read more and more from sane and intelligent Conservatives who are as horrified as we at the current state of their Party. It's reassuring to know they're out there, and that they're becoming more and more vocal.

  2. Anonymous3:55 AM

    I LOVE F*ing bacon!

    I LOVE F*ing hummus!

    I LOVE F*ing seal oil and dry fish!

    UNBELIVEABLE! I flipping LOVE America, Freedom, support our Armed Forces, care about my kids [and yours] education, I read any of 'em, all of 'em [newspapers] put in front of me over the years, I don't care for the PFD but can't believe what the State of Alaska pays for with our oil money, I believe in paying taxes and contributing to society greater than my family, I have a healthy skepticism of government and religion but don't label them enemies, I may not wear my faith or patriotism on my sleeve - but I love my choices, my family and country - and don't have to prove it.

    I am a secure American and I am the 99%.

  3. Anonymous4:38 AM

    I gave up exploring whether or not belonging to a "religion" might be spiritually beneficial in my life. It seems most of the "religions" are anti-woman, anti-equality, and more about controlling followers with guilt and shame.

    I will say that there are some Churches/Congregations that do a lot of charitable community work - and that's good, but for the most part I hear very little from main stream Christian groups speaking out against the rabid fundamentalist hate-filled "Christianity" rants from the Far Right. Very little.

    Until religion can treat women and minorities with equal respect as men, and start educating people as to what Jesus' true message really was, none have any credibility for me and many other people, especially young people.

    Because of the Right Wing bible thumping vitriol we hear so much of the last few years, my heart has indeed hardened against "Religion" - especially Christianity.

    God gave man "free will" - but today's Fundie's have forgotten about that and are seeking the power to force everyone to their will, not God's.

  4. I enjoyed the chart...why is Buddhism under the many gods column?

  5. Anonymous5:34 AM

    "I would have become a Hare Krishna, but I didn't want to become a vegetarian," she said. "And that is honestly the reason why, because I'm Italian and I love meatballs."

  6. Anonymous5:46 AM

    LOL this is good. Since we are not indoctrinating our children into any religion, we will offer them this handy flowchart whenever/ifever they want to follow a cult errr religion.

  7. Anonymous6:11 AM

    Anonymous at 4:38...well said!

    I thought about being a Wicca, but then I found out you can only do good things. I wanted to learn how to cast evil spells on all the freakin idiots I know. Seems no point, if I could only do good things.

    After 55 years of attending church and tithing faithfully, the last 10 years of my life have been so nice. No hypocrisy, relaxing Sunday mornings and a whole lot of money to spend the way I want it spent. Being an atheist is a win/win for me!

  8. Oh my god...i love this so much.

  9. As Rachel would say, that's the best new thing in the world today. Thanks!

  10. I've never been an atheist, but I learned a long time ago that God is perfectly capable of taking care of me without all the religions. I don't miss them a bit.

  11. It's clear not just from this, but from a number of things you've posted, that you are intentionally offensive to believers - any of 'em, all of 'em. You have as firm a foundation in faith life as Our Sarah has in family life.

  12. Anonymous8:37 AM

    I have been reading your blog for quite a while now and really enjoy your perspective and agree with much of what you write. I feel compelled this morning to 'admit' this as well: I am a Christian and proud of it.

    I am a pacifist, believer in the sanctity of life (womb to tomb) yet pro-choice because religion has no place in government, not supportive of the death penalty in any circumstance, pro-marriage equality (again, that whole separation of church and state thing) supportive of social programs, environmental protection and education.

    Because I am a Bible believing Christian, I can plainly see that the church as a whole is failing in its responsibility of loving and caring for the last, the least and the lost. The Democratic party is the party that mostly closely embodies what Jesus commands us to do. Period.

    (Please no mean comments about me...I just wanted to put it out there that there are some of us who do try to live out the teachings of Jesus in a way that improves the world, not advances ourselves or an 'agenda'.)

  13. Why did they leave out the Catholic Church?

    And Craig made a good point in noting Buddhism's location on the flow chart. It makes no sense.

    Sure it's a joke, but humor should still have a consistent frame of reference, so this falls kind of flat.

  14. Religions are started by ruthless people to control other people. Especially their sex lives. And, MOST especially, their money.

    We know more about the origins of the most recent ones: Scientology was started by Hubbard and a friend as a joke to see how gullible people were; Mormonisn (Remember, the second "m" is always silent.) by Jos Smith who was kicked out of more than one state for running scams and frauds. (But, to his credit, he did manage to have some fabulous magic underwear made. In a sweatshop in Thailand, wasn't it?)

  15. Anonymous11:33 AM

    Love that chart, Gryphen!

    According to the chart, I should be Jewish, but I'm not. A chart with all the Christian religions would be even more confusing. And I'm not sure I would fall into any category on a Christian chart either.

    I admit, I have a problem with some of the books in the Bible. Of the Gospels, the Book of Matthew happens to be my favorite. Jesus never taught that religious leaders should not marry. Or that a couple dancing was sinful. King David was God's favorite and he danced half nude all the way to the temple. Jesus kicked the moneychangers off the steps of the temple, not horns. When he said to take bread and wine in remembrance of him, he was sitting at the dinner table, not in church. He observed the Sabbath while on earth; and, he did not rise on the Sabbath. Further, he did not rise immediately when the spirit of God, that breathe of life, left his body at death. So, why did he say he was coming back if folks go to heaven at death? His last words in Matthew before ascending into heaven were to teach the observance of all things he has commanded.

    Jesus was a teacher on earth, not a church leader, or a soldier, or a governor, not even a dictator. His commandment was to love thy neighbor as thyself, not kill a neighbor because he didn't believe in God, or because the neighbor didn't have the same religious beliefs; or skin color, or even gay. He gave no exceptions. He said to take care of the poor, and he never said it was their fault they were poor.

    FWIW, I believe life begins with the breathe of life. And I believe all knowledge comes from God. If it is wrong to abort a fetus, than it should be just as wrong to have heart surgery. In other words, if it is God's will that a woman carry the seed of a rapist to term, then it is God's will that a man die from his clogged arteries. Also, no botox, no vaccines, no antibiotics, no eyeglasses, no chicken soup, and certainly not viagara.

    Jesus did not condemn that woman at the well, and he never said women should drape cloth over themselves to keep a man from lusting. I remember a conversation I had with my daddy long ago before he died. We were watching some preacher on teevee telling the men to keep their women and daughters covered modestly. I turned to my dad and asked him in all the years he had sat in church, did he ever hear a preacher say, men, if you see a woman on the street half clothed, turn your eyes away. He turned to me with a stunned look on his face, and said no.

    I would be the last person on earth to try and push my beliefs on others, because I may be wrong in all things and their souls would be put on my head. I can barely take care of myself. But I don't want others to push their beliefs upon me because they could be wrong, too. Taking away temptations will not prove a deeper conviction, it just takes away choice and free will.

    Oh, and the reason I don't eat bacon is because a pig sweats from the outside in, not from the inside out. So, toxins remain in the animal. To each their own, thanks, Gryphen.

  16. Anon 8:37 - I'm glad you spoke up. It's important that we don't lump christianists with true Christians.

    Check out Sojourners if you're not familiar with them.

  17. Anonymous2:22 PM

    Jews LOVE hummus. Israeli's consider it one of the major food groups.

  18. Beldar Olympus Conehead3:12 PM

    Wow.... That's awesome, Gryphen. And quite perceptive in a ouija board/fortune cookie kind of way.

    Of course, I'm personally disappointed that you seem to have deliberately slighted the one TRUE god - All Mighty Zeus - but I'm satisfied that you've cheerfully tweaked everyone else for their myth-based magical thinking that I'm sure even Zeus forgives you.

    doG bless you!

  19. Anonymous6:24 PM

    I love the chart! I know it has errors and omissions, but the idea of picking a religion based on your take-out preferances, color of your cat etc etc is genius. It makes more sense than "because I was raised in X or Y religion", which the majority of people feel makes perfect sense.

    Both my husband and I are athesists, it caused a lot of rifts in our family,we refused to mutliate our son's genitals and we left the choice to him, and we raised our children to be open minded and chose their own method of expressing their spirtuality/religion/cult, and let them know we'd support and love them whatever their choice.
    Our families eventually came around. I suppose love wins out whether one is religious, spirtual, or not.

    Kudos to the true Christians who chimed in, I wish more people like you would as well. If I believed, I could never accept the idea of a vengeful God. It goes against everything God's supposed to be about.

    What religion would someone who orders Quiznos and Crunch Wrap Supremes belong to?


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