I've never had to imagine a White Christmas. Living in Alaska, just 300 miles from the north pole where Santa Claus lives, I experience the True Meaning of Christmas every year. But too many of my fellow Americans have had their heads turned away from the Path by the Forces of Satanic Political Correctness.
Let me tell you about my Perfect Christmas. Christmas is a time for giving and being with the Family. So every Christmas Eve, Todd and I fly our helicopter low over the forests outside our home in Wasilla and mow down five grizzlies with a machine gun. As my Papa always said: "A family that sprays together, stays together." We then skin the critters to make stockings for the kids. There's nothing like seeing the joy in Track, Bristol and Trig's faces as they open their collection of knives and semi-automatic weapons.
For many Americans, Christmas is a time of Darkness when they are prevented from remembering that Jesus was an American. Since when has it been a crime to watch Mary and Joseph's favourite movie, Miracle on 34th Street? Since the Commy sonsofbitches took over Christmas and made us all say happy holidays, that's when. Well, yippee ki-yay, motherfuckers. Here's one broad with a great rack – as Todd always says – that's started the fight back.
Imagine state trooper Joe McScrooge patrolling the neighbourhood looking to stamp out any nativity scenes that might give offence to our Muslim and Afro-Caribbean brethren. What are we going to do to Joe McScrooge? We're going to crucify him. It's time to remind everyone that Charles Darwin was wrong, and it was God who made America 6,000 years ago. If we want the civilised society that God and his only son, George W Bush, have promised us, we've got to be prepared to gun down anyone in our way.
There's more, but I am literally laughing too hard to post any more.
Oh yeah, Palin is such a viable candidate for 2016 that British newspapers openly mock her and lampoon her ghostwritten books.
Which as of this posting is now at 704 on the "best seller" list over at Amazon.
I went on a conservative site last night (not sea of pee) and I swear Sarah gets her kids and relatives to post. They are so delusional I had to giggle. It seems while the rest of the world laughs at this poor idiot---there are actually some that think she's wondrous and really, really smart.
ReplyDeleteThe Guardian has her down pat. Palin the neo- X-mas thug.
It was pretty lame. Grizzly's are hibernatin durin the winter so they can't mow them down and Sarah's a bad shot. Plus, Sarah only poses as a hunter, she pretends she uses caribou blood under her fingernails as nail polish, but she's a Valley-Girl who eschewed the fish slime and moose stew for Taco Bell until she realized the only thing interesting about her was being born-again (without having to be a Christian) and that she was from Alaska - so she had to pull out all the stops in pretending to be a Frontier Woman, with a rack. Oh Juicy, we have you figured.
ReplyDelete(She also wanted to get out of cooking Matt Lauer a moose casserole again, chicken!)
I bet one big reason why $arah didn't want Matt and the CBS crew showing up is that Granny Grifter doesn't want to be in Alaska.
DeleteToo cold, too many haters that know her all too well, and Triggy or some other Palinite juvenile might blurt out something embarassing.
Exactly. Matt would wonder about Trig (where is Trig?) and her interactions with him - or not. And why not.
DeleteP.S. - LAWDY, Lawdy lawdy - that HAIRLINE under that poofy Dolly Parton wig - Yee-GAWDS.
Like Dolly says, it takes a lot of money to look that trashy...
Did Sarah include this nugget of truth in her book? Probably not....
ReplyDelete"Being an American Christian means celebrating the birth of a Jewish savior by receiving gifts beneath a Pagan tree from an obese, German trespasser." (quote from someecards.com)
My future predictions for Sarah ( and no I am not psychic, I just have a measurable IQ
ReplyDeleteQuietly Sarah's Arizona home will be sold off
Anymore books will be self published and sold in church basements as she speaks for "love offerings" ( which means a donation)
county fairs judging pigs and goats( though I doubt she has the intelligence to do that correctly)
Tawd will have run away with his latest girlfriend and child when the money stops
Brisket, well she'll finally find some desperate older Alaskan man that pans for gold to marry her and she'll continue to work on her quiverful
Willow will follow a family tradition on the Heath side of the family by going in and getting caught with Auntie Diana
Track? Well here's the whole thing about the young Mr Menard, he will be reported missing in 2017 and there will be no clue or evidence to what happened to him
Lok
DeleteYou are truly prophetic. Let’s start a church!
DeleteEmily Post
She don't know it, but whatever day the 3/26/08 museum picture first surfaced, that was the day she hung herself. Now, we're just partying at the wake.
ReplyDeleteSarah Palin and the Hypocrisy of Secular Feminism
ReplyDeletehttp://www.charismanews.com/opinion/41948-sarah-palin-and-the-hypocrisy-of-secular-feminism
Boy, as a female this article got me going!
Breaking news.palins book just shot up to 688.Some fool must have bought a copy.
DeleteOMG. OMG. SMH. What on earth, she marches by a different drummer, that's for sure, and Jesus ain't the one that is drumming. Losers.
DeleteWhoa, the first paragraph was rife with problems. Yes, she was our governor and no she was not successful. She was untrustworthy and roundly disliked by her own party and governed so poorly she caved to everything the Democratic Party in Alaska wished — simply because she was lazy and had no clue or backbone. When she was tapped by McCain she had stratospheric popularity because she had just given $1,200 to every man, woman and child in Alaska on top of a record permanent fund dividend. She was an abysmal disappointment and showed her true colors as a chameleon-like celebrity-seeking shallow politician. This is why Sarah Palin is so disliked. She is not genuine, she is not to be counted upon to do anything except what benefits her bottom line.
DeleteWhat a bunch of crap that article is. Whoever wrote it is a fucking idiot. What a waste of time for you to even post it. Garbage all wrapped up in Jesus, which is what these faux christians do all the time. What a waste of space they are.
DeleteSarah is a nasty piece of work and she attracts comments like she got because she is so vile. I'm GLAD that no women stood up for her, since they obviously know a fraud when they see one. Sarah is a horrific human being who doesn't hesitate to malign and badmouth with her snark and bad taste and I APPLAUD anyone who takes her to task and tells it like it is. YAY Martin Bashir.
No wedding ring, sorry Todd the botch ain't into you.
ReplyDeleteTodd could care less. He's got his honey. Besides that, Scarah's money is dwindling and she's not invited to speak at larger venues--or even small ones. Her new book is a joke that has tanked. Besides that, her personal hygiene is non-existent and she stinks to high, holy hell! Eeew!
Delete#688 at amazon skank!!!!! She's melting!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteFor a few delicious moments yesterday Palin's book was at number 666 on Amazon. Someone I follow on Twitter posted an image of it.
ReplyDeletehttps://twitter.com/Path2Enlighten/status/407728687963185152/photo/1
There Are At Least 10 Faces of Sarah Palin, and They Are All Repulsive!
Deletehttp://malialitman.wordpress.com/2013/12/03/there-are-at-least-10-faces-of-sarah-palin-and-they-are-all-repulsive/
This former resident of Alaska is an embarrassment to their state! What crap the woman has spewed since prior to 2008.
ReplyDeleteAs I've said time and time again - she's a proven liar, fraud, uneducated, terrible wife and mother, a horrid example to other women across Alaska and the country and shown to be unethical by the State of Alaska.
Cannot find one thing I like or respect about the woman. Plus, she has fake boobs that she uses 'sometimes'. Weirdest thing I've ever seen. No consistency whatsoever about anything! She's vindictive, evil, nasty and ugly inside and out and doesn't live the teachings of Christianity.
I'll bet too that she is going to rot in hell!
I thnk the rot has already started. She looks like a skeleton right now. Her "runner's legs" are as shapely as a couple of chopsticks.
DeleteAfter reading that great description of Sarah's book, I figured that there was only one other place that could match that humor, the place when the Pee's leave their puddles. Here is a sentence that just makes me laugh.
ReplyDelete"The Boss has arraigned to get Saturday off so that we can go to Roanoke to visit with Sarah Palin." It is a wonderful Freudian slip since the is the definition of the word. "Arraignment is a formal reading of a criminal charging document in the presence of the defendant to inform the defendant of the charges against him or her." The poor old guy must mean "arranged." It could be his heart condition. Lack of oxygen to the brain can leave one "deranged." Maybe The Boss is angered at having to get up early in the morning to drive to the book store to get a wrist band.
Chuckles Jr assured the old bastard that Sarah will know all about him when he shuffles forward and drapes his cape on the ground for her to step on and I believe him. Sarah will have VG written on her palm and the boss will be there hovering to make sure he doesn't play with himself. It'll be so romantic.
DeleteThe huge relief is that finallly, finally, she's become powerless, of no further threat. A joke, yes. A political force, no. Unbelievable that she ever was, but bless her stupidity, she just blew it all away with her ignorance, narcissism, and oh-so-obviously desperate and pathetic need to be in the spotlight. Her looks, the one thing she had going, are gone, so like the wicked witch, she's just melting before our eyes..
ReplyDelete"I've never had to imagine a White Christmas. Living in Alaska, just 300 miles from the north pole where Santa Claus lives, I experience the True Meaning of Christmas every year."
ReplyDeleteIt didn't snow in Nazareth, you silly dolt.
Oh, I see. Snark. Well, it sounded like something the silly dolt would have said.
DeleteIf the Birth of Christ was so important to Sarah Palin, why didn't she visit Bethlehem when she was in Israel? Ooops.
DeleteAlso note the writer’s spot-on imitation of the word salad/brain fuck a la Palin.
DeleteShe may not have imagined a white Christmas but she certainly imagined those geography lessons.
DeleteWhy does she have to be wrong ALL the time?
the utter banality of rah-rah palin stories shows how far she has fallen, but I really can see her as an evangelist on t.v. for the rest of our lives. lucky for me, there is no t.v. in my home.
ReplyDeletebeyond that, the woman is an idiot.
Impending grave doom for Quitter.
DeleteIf she doesn't start eating she won't see another 6 months.
DeleteShe is doing it to herself with help from Todd and the family, friends and fans. One thing they will never quit is denial.
DeleteIt's a pity because every family that gets together for any special event has their own family rituals and favorite stories. My aunt always made a jello mold, and she would always forget to serve it until after the last cup of coffee was poured. Everything that my mother made was an ordeal, and she had to recite the story of her adventures in arguing with the butcher over the cut of meat or returning the spoiled apples. The wine expert in the family could always be counted on for a delicious contribution and story, too. And, I would guess that everyone who is reading here has the same kind of warm family memories. We should write the book.
DeleteSkeletal feasted on the back meat of a turkey this year. She was always in charge of the turkey and she did it again. Did Sally pass down how to cook a turkey to Sarah? I thought she was just stupid trying to slice the back with a cheese knife. It may be her new diet plan.
DeleteShe may do the "fitness" book after all and expand on her traditions and keeping those tight abs.
Catholic hospital 'risked woman's life by forcing her to deliver 18-week fetus that had no chance of survival' because of no abortion policy
ReplyDeletehttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2517492/Tamesha-Means-lawsuit-Catholic-hospital-forced-miscarrying-woman-deliver-18-week-fetus.html
Where is she now? Michigan's Mansour clan http://www.theatlantic.com/daily-dish/archive/2011/03/rebecca-mansour-the-big-reveal-ctd/174217/
http://articles.latimes.com/2011/mar/17/nation/la-na-rebecca-mansour-20110317/2
Operation Christmas Child. Todd, Bristol, and I visited Haiti with Franklin Graham
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10152062967813588&set=a.10150723283643588.424640.24718773587&type=1
No holiday good tidings or joy, Bristol is too busy to save children. Church?
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/bristolpalin/2013/11/love-bug/
We're Declaring War On Christmas. Here's Why.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/03/jason-and-katlas-war-on-christmas-episode-one_n_4374679.html
Sarah doesn't care how many books she sells because her Pac will buy the rest and her family will ship them out (postage) and all the Palins will make big bucks off her book. I am sure she and Todd are flying first class and staying in 5 star hotels on her book tour all paid for by Pac. Pretty soon her Pac will dry up and her book deals will end. She will go on a speaking tour next regarding Down Children. She will stoop at anything to make a buck. The laws are not fair to the average person. We would be in jail if we started a Pac because people will think we will run for office and never do so, just have a big steady income to live on for life.
ReplyDeleteYou could start a PAC. The rules are so lax that just as Mrs. Palin does, you can spend the majority of money promoting yourself while giving a very small portion to candidates. With leadership PACs you can basically use the money however you'd like.
DeleteThe kicker is that you need a base of really stupid people to buy into your political prick tease and give up their lunch money.
Look at who makes the most off of Sarah's PAC; consultants. Tim Crawford makes the most. Don't ever believe that he's not keeping this thing going to pad his bank account as well. There's a few folks besides Mrs. Palin that are sucking off this gravy train.
Chuckie posted on his Facebook that his father has a carton and a half to get rid of, I mean, to sell at $25. You do get a signed photo of Sarah, and Chuck Heath pays the postage, but the book is much cheaper at Amazon, and if you have Amazon Prime, you get 2 day delivery for free. Her PAC was asking for a donation for $60. and the person would get a free book in return. Actually, the donation to the PAC is not tax deductible since it is meant to promote a point of view.
DeleteSome people, during her first book tour, were scribbling on the first page and selling them on EBay as "Signed" by Sarah Palin for a profit. Can't see that happening again, the first book quickly made it's way to the Dollar Store.
DeleteI was in the UK recently and every time I was asked where I was from (Alaska) Sarah Palin was mocked in response to my answer. How frigging embarrassing.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. She has disgraced and embarrassed every American (cult is the exception, they are just like her).
DeleteYeah, I'm from Wyoming and I can relate to that... got mocked for "Big Dick" Cheney for years... still happens now and then.
Delete300 miles from THE north pole??? THE??? No. It's 300 miles from a town called North Pole.
ReplyDeleteThanks for pointing that out. Alert, Nunavut is the closest "town" (settlement really) to the north pole an it's over 500 miles away. Looks like Wasilla is a good 3000 miles from Alert, so do the math.
DeleteBTW, I've been to North Pole, AK and with any other name, there'd be no reason to ever stop in that little tourist trap.
I see amazon also has used copies of her book for $ 9.98. Now tell me , knowing her followers, old white men that think they have a chance with her. And selling their used copies, that is just really gross, can you imagine the pages .... ok, I won't go there....
ReplyDelete45 new copies from $10.47
DeleteThe Kochs bought enough copies to get her on the NY Times bestseller list. Now they are unloading them.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this post. The brits have a way with humor that rarely disappoints. Our Gal Sarah marches to the beat of a different xylophone. Hard to comprehend anyone taking her seriously.
ReplyDelete