Courtesy of Raw Story:
One of the stars of TV’s “Duck Dynasty” urged Christians to take their non-believing friends to see an upcoming Nicolas Cage movie, saying it might convert them.
Willie Robertson recorded a short promotional video that was posted Friday morning to the Facebook page set up for “Left Behind,” an upcoming feature film based on the popular religion-themed book series that depicts the end times.
“Like most Christians, my family and I can truly say that we’re excited about the soon return of Jesus, and I’m sure, if you’ve been watching the news lately, you know that that return could be any day from now,” Robertson said.
He said the film, which he described as “an action-packed thriller that will take viewers on a wild ride to the day of the Rapture,” would encourage atheists and non-Christians to convert.
“It’s a warning to those, if it happened today, would be left behind, and I believe people are going to make that life-changing decision to follow Christ on the way home from the theater on Oct. 3,” Robertson said. “Let’s all make sure we bring some friends and family to see this movie – people who need to see to believe.”
My new goal is life is to be left behind by these fundamentalist imbeciles.
And I can hardly wait for it to happen, Look I even promise to water your plants and walk your dog after you leave.
Just go already!
However the problem with the idea of the return of Jesus, and all of the miraculous occurrences that are supposed to surround it, is that it was already supposed to have happened during the lifetimes of his disciples.
That's right folks the event that all of those sidewalk preachers and revival tent evangelicals have been warning you against is already thousands of years past its "sell by" date.
Essentially running off to get "saved" after seeing this movie is like buying rental car insurance for a car that your returned safely to the lot over fifty years ago.
Besides this movie has Nicholas Cage in it.
When was the last time that a Nicholas Cage movie had anything in it that even remotely reflected reality?
G, don't worry! The Robertson's have entered the Palin phase of their decline. Shop Jesus!
ReplyDeleteThe rapture already occurred. No one qualified.
ReplyDeleteThe rapture already occurred. But god got a little confused. Instead of taking the idiots, he dropped more off. Damn!
DeleteJust how unhappy are these people, who want life as we know it to end soon? Kirk Cameron is a religious nutcase. Why do these Duck people look so unkempt, like their clothes need washing?
DeleteStairway to Heaven:
ReplyDeleteBe very, very afraid of being left behind in the roiling swill with them blasphemous heathens, while your True Christian friends sit on fluffy clouds, eating Chick-Fil-A and shooting ducks with Uncle Phil and the boys for all eternity. Convert. Give generously to the Christian carnival barker of your choice. Keep giving until Rapture Day or until the well runs dry, whichever comes first. After all, those Holy Grifters are specially chosen by the Lord and deserve all the riches they get (and don't mind showing off) because they're True Leaders and you'll get your reward later, if you Believe. Promise. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Bob McDonnell will be driving a white Ferrari amongst them
DeletePseudo-christiany domiionists:
DeleteGrifters for gold in the name of God with guns for the Rapture Ready Armageddon Now crew. They want it all for 'stewardship' for power and control because they shall be left behinds. IMHO.
dowl
How can any thinking, intelligent person actually believe in this ridiculous rapture balderdash? Although I was raised as a Catholic and went to Catholic schools for 12 years, the first time I heard of this belief was many years later (long after I dropped any belief system), when I worked with a woman who considered herself to be a fundamentalist Christian and who told me she feared for me and prayed for me. When I asked, incredulously, why, she explained it was because I wasn't saved, and if I wasn't saved, I would be "left behind." A concept she then had to explain to my ever more incredulous self. She was by no means a stupid person -- but she truly believed in this incredibly destructive utter crap. If you think junior high school girls are clique obsessed, they ain't got nothing on Jesus-likes-me-best fundies!
ReplyDelete"Jesus likes me best fundies". LOVE that description!!
DeleteOne of the best bumper stickers I ever saw was "Lord, please protect me from your followers"
DeleteAnd please bring your duck whistle and shotgun just in case the Rapture happens during the movie.
ReplyDelete"...we’re excited about the soon return of Jesus, and I’m sure, if you’ve been watching the news lately, you know that that return could be any day from now,”
ReplyDeleteI was hearing the same stuff from a neighbor in 1972.
" . . . the soon return of Jesus" ?? Word salad lessons from Palin have sunken in, I see.
DeleteOMG! I knew he was nutty, but I didn't know it was THAT bad. I'm going to be looking for Jesus now, though, I want to ask him to please fill up my lake that has disappeared from the 5 year drought.
ReplyDeleteI'll also ask him to PLEASE take Sarah in my place; she needs him a lot worse than I do - I'll just wait it out a while and converse with Native Americans about Rain Dances.
How those duckfuckers must laugh behind doors at the idiot christians! Nice job if you can get it. There's lots of money to be made duping the religious political nuts in this country.
ReplyDeleteYes, and I'm surprised they haven't caught on to his "draft-dodging, long-haired, head-band wearing hippy" self yet.
DeleteOh, yay! Bible-believing pre-Tribulation evangelical Christians have a fun, new tool to try to scare their relatives, friends, and acquaintances! And even more "Yay!" for them with the current Middle East turmoil.
ReplyDeleteI don't think the pre-Tribulation rapture theory cropped up until the 1800s. It's one of four main competing interpretations of Christ's return and Tim LaHaye and his Left Behind industry have turned it into quite a money-maker.
YUP.
DeleteThere is so much not to like about Tim LaHaye beyond his dispensationalist, pre-Trib theories. He's the epitome of an anti-freedom, anti-democracy theocrat.
ReplyDeletehome-schooling movement
anti-gay activism
political dominionism (a founder of the Council for National Policy, Coalition for Religious Freedom, and more)
Those Hollywood libruls really know how to get butts in the seats.
ReplyDeleteRJ in Brownbackistan
I'm a tiny bit curious about how the Left Behind theory fits...or doesn't fit...with the New Apostolic Reformation's "Alaska is a portal and safe-haven" and other prophetic nonsense.
ReplyDeleteI'll bet that freak of nature never even saw the movie. Who the hell is going to do what a fucking duck tells them to. Now go put you camo PJ's on and take that disrespectful head band off. Who do you think you are, Sarah Palin? (She wears camo ALL the time don't ya know)
ReplyDeleteOOPS!!! I didn't do my research before I posted. This film was financed and produced by a fundie. The liberal Hollywood film industry will get my "credit" for producing tons films that put butts in seats and dollars in pockets. But there is plenty of money to be made selling stories to the enraptured. And, they really seem to believe in that ending, "They lived happily ever after."
ReplyDeleteRJ
End of times... How damn stupid does someone have to be to believe that horseshit. Many times throughout history man has led slaughters of humans for religious purposes and no end occurred. Then the book of fables is reread and misinterpreted by people that believe they know when and where. Give me a freaking break. Witchcraft used to to feared. Haven't seen any of that nonsense in my lifetime either.
ReplyDeleteHere is the problem for the people who believe that for a Second Coming to take place, everything has to be in place in Israel as it was during the time of Jesus. The Christians who belong to churches are not going. Catholics are not going. None of those religions were around when Jesus was delivering his sermons (speeches). His following consisted of disenchanted Jews and people who chose to believe in one God (as opposed to the whole group of Roman gods). There were a number of different sects and beliefs, but Christianity, as a religion, does not exist in the Levant until the middle of the 1st century. There was no "Israel" or "Palestine." That whole area was part of the Roman Empire. Sorry, but they have it all wrong. The Jews will rejoice in the coming of their Messiah, but it's not who the Christians will be expecting.
ReplyDeleteWilly's 17 year old daughter has been doing some modeling for several years. This season she is Mark's partner on DWTS. She seems to like to show and shake her "behind". LOL
ReplyDeleteThat movie actually looks good.
ReplyDeleteThe oldest and best hustle known to man. Three card monte with the highest stakes of all. These's a sucker born every minute folks. Pray to Jesus, or whomever, but write the check to me.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't fuck duck die-nasty in their ass with Sarah Palin's dick.
ReplyDeleteWell, Travolta had his "Battlefield Earth," I guess its Cage's turn.
ReplyDeleteReminds me of a bumper sticker Sarah DIDN'T copy:
ReplyDelete"Jesus is coming, look busy"
Yeah, Nick Cage's really sunk as an actor since "Moonstruck" and his fifth or sixth hair implant. What a waste of talent.
Aannnd moviegoers, during intermission be sure and swing by our refreshment stand for some yummy delicious purple kool-aid!
ReplyDeleteThat's all folks!
Wille Robertson wants people to go see this movie because the production company PAID him a bucket load of money to make that promotional video since they know he's more appealing to the films target demographic audience. Faux Christians won't see the movie if Nicolas Cage promotes it on the talk show circuit but they will be first in line if one of the Duck Dynasty Stars tells them to go see the movie.
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't matter that the brothers were all total clean cut preppy college frat boys who only transformed into wannabe ZZ Top rejects after they got their reality show contract! The Duck Dynasty family is totally fake and like the old saying goes, FAUX is attracted to FAUX! Birds of a feather flock together!! Run to the movie theater Faux Christians, Willie got paid a lot of money to promote this movie, he didn't actually watch the movie, but he was paid to make a promo video. It's a good thing Faux Christians are incredibly stupid, it's easier to separate them from their money!
Best bumper sticker I've seen on this:
ReplyDelete"IF THE RAPTURE COMES
CAN I HAVE YOUR CAR?"
Google "The Pretrib Rapture Jackpot" which is a devastating exposure of the "Left Behind" rapture racket.
ReplyDeleteFor a treat Google "The Pretrib Rapture Jackpot."
ReplyDelete