Morality is not determined by the church you attend nor the faith you embrace. It is determined by the quality of your character and the positive impact you have on those you meet along your journey
Thursday, August 06, 2015
I had no idea my ex-wife had even written a book.
This is volume three, but I'm pretty sure I've heard all of the excuses in the first two volumes as well.
You know, Gryphen, one of the reasons I stopped following your blog, other than the fact that the Palin storm passed, is the reality that you're quite sexist when you want to be. Which is strange, because you have all these feminist supporting posts..and then you'll throw in something about your ex wife that borders on degrading. Marriage takes two. Move on.
Thank you for a great post 2:54. I agree with every word you wrote. It would be quite interesting to get the ex-Mrs Gryphen's actual view on the marriage. This is one of the most sexist and frankly ridiculous posts ever.
These posts are meant as jokes. The only thing I've taken issue with is judgment over religion. It's fine to be atheist. But done knockth thousands of solid believers who aren't evangelists.
I don't always agree with Gryphen's take on everything, but why would I? This is HIS blog and he is expressing his opinions and then allows us to do likewise-without much censorship, I might add! Note to 2:54, you do understand how to "stop" following IM, don't you? It requires NOT reading here!
Gryphen has opened himself up on his blog so honestly sometimes I cringe. I'm a female, and don't see anything wrong with this post. Obviously, there was enough demand for a book like this. In fact, I think G would be a hell of a catch for a lucky woman. He's openminded, fair, smart, non-republican, an atheist, and as non-sexist as can possibly exist. He's raising an amazing daughter. Sometimes I come here and find out stuff I haven't seen anywhere else. You go, G.
He's not open-minded if he thinks that's a "joke." He's been hanging around with the wrong crowd. A good woman might make his life happier, but he seems to worship his daughter and denigrate her mother, and that's all I need to know about G's attitude toward women.
@7:19 I'm so glad you brought up Gryphen's daughter. You see, when my parents divorced I begged, pleaded and tried to cajole both of them to each publically disparage the other. Any reason was fine or no reason at all. No matter how much time or distance had passed since the divorce, it would have been so awesome for me and my siblings. But alas, they both refused to do so. Whatever bad feelings and issues between them were kept only between the two of them. Dammit, don't you just HATE it when a couple breaks up and shows class & consideration for their kids?!
@ 2:54AM If you stopped reading this blog then how are you able to comment at 2:54 in the morning!! magical powers?
Boy there sure are a lot of grumpy commenters, gimme a break, this is a joke, no need to get so bent out of shape with your " it is sexist" indignation.
I am 2:54. It's very encouraging to me that this sparked a discussion and there were some nodding in agreement. There's appropriate and inappropriate. There's a one-time thought and a reoccurring theme. Since it seemed like more of the same to me...I thought I'd finally say something. I'm glad I did. I think Gryphen has done a lot of good work with his blog over the years, and has a good relationship with his daughter, but when something is askew, I think his readers have a responsibility to say what they are feeling and not just pretend something was not written. And btw I have no idea why the timestamp is 254am. I get up for work at 530 or 6.
Sorry your marriage was not to the right partner. It can be one of the most satisfying experiences in life. Don't stop looking, or thinking about looking. You could be surprised.
On the 12th of this month my husband and I will be married 20 years. He is atheist, I'm in the "energy will always be energy" and "there are too many things that echo each other in looks, ranging from eyes appearing to look like galaxies to seashell designs appearing in leaves. But this is not by a Divine Being playing with space and time, it's this way because before the big bang we were all one big ball of energy" camp. Religion has no bearing on true live or a "soul mate". This my third marriage (1st lasted 14 years, and we were married when I was 18 & he was 19. We were too young and stupid enough to think we could change the other one. Plus I was raised that sex before marriage is a BIG Sin, and I was Horney. I've since lived and learned. 😉 2nd marriage lasted 2years. It ended when I discovered my husband was molesting his own daughter when I was working night shift. Then I discovered he started to molest her on the day of her mother's funeral...she was only 3 when it started. My x is still in prison and will be for another 20 - 25 years. Like I said, I will be celebrating my 20th wedding anniversary in a few days. There have been a few rough patches, but we both respect each other, we both compromise, we say we are sorry, we tell each other "I love you and kiss" EVERY time we part (because you never know if it will be the last time...sh*t happens). We may not be perfect, but where I am missing pieces in my life, he supports me, where he has missing pieces in his life, I support him and our cog wheels fit because of it. Respect, compromise, willing to work with each other when difference's pop up, being on the same page and talking to each other, regardless if it is about child rearing, money, politics or religion to work out any differences. To me that is marriage 💑 Love and soul mates crap is what to many people (including myself when I was younger) think of as marriage. Passion and lust fade, but if you have an honest friendship and respect for one another, that is what lasting love ❤ is. Good luck in finding that "soul mate" you are looking for. No one is perfect. But if you are lucky, you will find someone who "fits".
hmmm? ok, im with ya G, but what about companionship? sharing space and amazing things like real loyal honest humans? Sometimes alone is good for the soul too. Especially when wanted and needed!!. It could be just the word that causes you discomfort and pain?. And of course all the bs that goes with that word!. Find peace and balance living life fully (-:@dreams
Hmm..I bet Sarah and Bristol have seen these, too. Heck, Todd might even be carrying around all three books in that piece of luggage Sarah calls a purse.
You know, women might make excuses for having sex for several reasons, number one in my book is when it stopped being fun and became an obligation. Guys need to step it up and not do the same stuff all the time. It's boring.
The Washington Post is reporting that PP has received a large increase in donations in response to the videos and yet you post this sexist trash. Shame on you Gryphen.
Wow, talk about a lame post. You really stepped in the dog crap this time. as anon at 2:54, says, marriage takes two and from posting this I can see why your marriage was a failure.
And for me, marriage is a patriarchal institution that I don't wish to experience again. (Unless perhaps like Frieda and Diego we lived in separate houses.) :-)
Liz, I married a Swede and after 38 years, I still won't bend to pick up a dropped fork, only shower while he's at work and have instructed a good friend to stand guard over my corpse!
My same-gender relationship, now a marriage, will be 40 years old next February. Other than being both possessed of the quicker arousal stages that belong to all males, I'm not sure I could tell you, Gryphen, we have an easier time of it in committed relationships. Getting through the boring stretches is no less tough.
I can specifically remember one instance my husband and I were quarreling less than five minutes after the disconnect. And surprise, just like straight couples, gay ones argue less about fidelity issues than about money.
Then too, with women there's often the added element of depleted energy after dealing with a stubborn or combative kid or two all day. If I'd spent a whole morning and afternoon keeping two grade-schoolers from killing each other, maybe I too could say 'not tonight' even to Jake Gyllenhaal or Matt Bomer.
That said, you've never struck as an unhappy or miserable person. Sometimes, the single life is exactly what an individual is suited to. Solitude and loneliness are not synonymous.
"...... I hold slits in the highest regard. After all they have taken so much abuse for the survival of mankind." Gryphen, as a member of the opposite sex, I can attest that they do, indeed take a lot of abuse. Perhaps that is why we all could write a paragraph, a chapter, a book or in my case, a tome on the subject....married 38 years.
I always enjoy your posts, dvlaries. The one above is no exception, though Gryphen often strikes me as being the angry, bitter white guy that he rails against. Congratulations to you and your hubby on 40 years together and I hope that you enjoy many more.
As for the person(s) who commented at 3:27 & 4:35 some of us follow this blog for the thoughtful comments and ideas, not because Gryphen is some sort of god.
I wouldn't say Gryphen is an angry or bitter. He was a gay man pretending to be straight married to a woman who thought he was straight. (my first marriage I was married to a man who after our divorce, came out as gay). I can totally understand the frustration that can cause in a marriage. One person is carrying a HUGE secret that they for one reason or another they can't divulge. In my husband's case it was because of his parents and the army. Once his parents passed away and he was no longer in the army, we divorced and he came out and boy was I shocked. I was very angry for a long time that I had been lied to for 14 years...I have since forgiven him and our 34 year old son has a great relationship with both of us now. Forgiveness outweighs frustration and secrets every time. Of course, stepping into another's shoes and looking at their side will also help heal any anger lingering after forgiveness.
This is a subject that fascinates and confounds me. Men and women are very different creatures sexually and we simply don't always "get" each other. I don't think women understand how wired men are for sex and men don't comprehend how much everything ties into a woman's desires.
A yeast infection is not an excuse. It's a reason, many reasons, why a woman might not be "in the mood" when her husband wants to assert his manly right.
Maybe she just wasn't into you, G, or your methods. Think about what you were doing, demanding, expecting, and what your (probably) angry or sarcastic comment was when she demurred.
That's the beginning of the end of a marriage, for sure.
OK all you "This post is exactly why I never read IM anymore!" commenters. Then don't. As was said in the old days, maybe all you cranky grumps need to get laid..
For whatever reason Gryphen posted this particular post, it could have been a great conversation starter. It IS a topic that touches everyone in a relationship at some point. The reasons are as diverse as we are.
Ha! Good one, Q I was just throwing in yet another stereo type. You know, a great, honest relationship wouldn't need excuses, and a great partner would understand the difference between "reasons" and "excuses".
Unless there is a cup of coffee sitting next to the computer first thing, I don't get humor this early in the morning.
Maybe it's also all the patriarchy crap I've been reading. Maybe it's all the 'no legitimate rape' comments that have flooded every blog I read due to the false PP videos. Patriarchy humor just doesn't appeal right now.
As for the coffee first thing? As soon as I teach my new (to me) Belgian Malinois to brew a fine cup first thing I'll be posting pictures of me smiling at 4 AM. Don't hold your breath. She doesn't like coffee.
Badumpbish! I'm here all week. Don't forget to tip your waitress!!! :D
Sorry, if this was meant to be a joke, it was a lame and misdirected one. Also misogynistic. It says a lot about you, Gryphen, I'm afraid, that you think a general audience would giggle and laugh about your joy in being single and what "excuses" you thought you heard when YOU wanted to have sex. Maybe they were legitimate; maybe she just didn't like you. You reveal more about yourself with this "joke" than we really want to know.
Maybe it was a "joke." Not a funny one. Try it down at the OK Saloon one Friday night and I'm sure, after midnight, you'll have the whole place laughing. Here, no.
I thought this was hilarious!!! I've been that girl with my guy going on 26 years. Marriage is not a walk in the park. And as you get older, the sex routine is just as tricky to keep hot and spicy.
Just like any relationship, sex involves a series of life changes on a constant basis that two people try to navigate through together. Sometimes it works and most times (according to US statistics) it doesn't. It's painful. It hurts. It makes you mad. It's great. It feels awesome. It makes you happy. Sometimes these things happen all at the same time (if you're really lucky -- woot, woot!!!)
It takes someone that has reconciled with a past relationship experience to laugh about it. Those who are stuck in a moment where Gryphen's words conjure up similar relationship experiences often take what Gryphen says waaay too seriously.
He has a dry sense of humor with a cynical twist (which I absolutely adore). I totally understood that he was joking.
My first thought, after wiping tears of laughter off my face was, " Where can I get a copy of that book?!" Thanks for the laugh, G. After 27 years of work, my dearest just retired and now is looking for things to keep him occupied.
Jeebus, does ANYONE know how to be silly anymore? Personally, I thought it was hilarious and I am the one married to the Swede for 38 years, so I try to keep a fresh excuse at the ready, if I am having a bad day. For goodness sake, lighten up people, or go take a swim in the pee pond with all the other crabby old folks! Q
Having a hard time diagnosing the problem with this woman. The guy appears to be using the patented one-two tit squeeze. It is straight out of the owners manual. That should have immediately switched on her idle sexual partition folder and run the beawhoreforyourhusbandandthenmaketacos.exe binary routine.
He can try a hard boot with a smack on the ass. If that doesn't work he should just have her declared insane and sent to the nunnery. If she is under warranty, perhaps he can return her for a sister that isn't broken.
I had a hunch it was a joke, just because G. would never disclose the name of his ex on a blog. Guess my coffee was strong enough this morning to pick up on the joke.
Yeast infections are one of the worst, by the way.
Off to check if it's available on Amazon Prime. Know a woman who needs it ASAP. There was a similar book about marriage, as in "why aren't you married yet" which was hysterical. My uber Christian friend, however, thought it blasphemous.
I accept this was intended as a joke. I am not joking that there are men who have big issues sexually that prevent them from having sexual relationships. It sucks this is not discussed more and women typically blamed or made an issue of. So glad I chose divorce!
WTF does this have to do with hatin on the Palins??? Godammit it's only been nearly 7 years since she was on the national scene and nobody around here seems to give a fuck that skanky bitch is still alive. This here's supposed to a motherfucking Palin hatin blog. What else in world is there to talk about? You people are fucking idiots!
Relax , I long ago expected ( wished) that the Palin's would go away. They are rats that thrive on garbage. I read this blog in hopes of hearing of their tragic demise. We are doomed as a society thanks to palin and the other foolish people that are ignorant or that buy into their con game.
11:03, Although I suspect that you are a c4per in IM clothing, even those of us who live, eat and breathe to spew anti-Palin venom, have to have some distraction. Waiting for the complete downfall of AIP PALIN is the only thing left on my bucket list. I just don't want it to happen after I pass. So, fear not, some of us are as dedicated to the cause as ever!
I took it for what it is, a joke. I've followed this blog for years and know Griff's sense of humor. I've read post after post where G defends women, women's rights, including women of color and women of all sexual preferences/persuasions. I grew up with brothers, and I've been married to the same man for over twice the years I was single. Did I have yeast infections, headaches, or generally too exhausted for vaginal sex? Or just not in the mood for whatever reason? Yes. But I never made excuses nor lied to my husband, we talked things over and worked it out. Sex is just one of the ways humans express love for each other. These books are condoning using sex as a bargaining tool, or a weapon, when women and men would be more well served by honest communications. Sex and Love are like the four seasons, we have no choice but to adjust. I'm not judging Gryphen nor his marriage, because I didn't live it nor know nor need to know both sides.
All I know is he's a good man, a good father and he's happily single and in no way misogynous.
You know, Gryphen, one of the reasons I stopped following your blog, other than the fact that the Palin storm passed, is the reality that you're quite sexist when you want to be. Which is strange, because you have all these feminist supporting posts..and then you'll throw in something about your ex wife that borders on degrading. Marriage takes two. Move on.
ReplyDeleteYet, you're here.......
DeleteThank you for a great post 2:54. I agree with every word you wrote. It would be quite interesting to get the ex-Mrs Gryphen's actual view on the marriage. This is one of the most sexist and frankly ridiculous posts ever.
DeleteAnd yet here you are, not following G's blog.
DeleteThese posts are meant as jokes. The only thing I've taken issue with is judgment over religion. It's fine to be atheist. But done knockth thousands of solid believers who aren't evangelists.
DeleteI don't always agree with Gryphen's take on everything, but why would I? This is HIS blog and he is expressing his opinions and then allows us to do likewise-without much censorship, I might add!
DeleteNote to 2:54, you do understand how to "stop" following IM, don't you? It requires NOT reading here!
And yet you are here in the wee hours of the morning like every other morning. I hope you are being very quiet as not to wake up your parents Alicia.
DeleteGryphen has opened himself up on his blog so honestly sometimes I cringe. I'm a female, and don't see anything wrong with this post. Obviously, there was enough demand for a book like this. In fact, I think G would be a hell of a catch for a lucky woman. He's openminded, fair, smart, non-republican, an atheist, and as non-sexist as can possibly exist. He's raising an amazing daughter. Sometimes I come here and find out stuff I haven't seen anywhere else. You go, G.
DeleteReally? You have got to be the one joking?
DeleteHe's not open-minded if he thinks that's a "joke." He's been hanging around with the wrong crowd.
DeleteA good woman might make his life happier, but he seems to worship his daughter and denigrate her mother, and that's all I need to know about G's attitude toward women.
@7:19 I'm so glad you brought up Gryphen's daughter. You see, when my parents divorced I begged, pleaded and tried to cajole both of them to each publically disparage the other. Any reason was fine or no reason at all. No matter how much time or distance had passed since the divorce, it would have been so awesome for me and my siblings. But alas, they both refused to do so. Whatever bad feelings and issues between them were kept only between the two of them. Dammit, don't you just HATE it when a couple breaks up and shows class & consideration for their kids?!
Delete8:43, are you G's ex......? Wow!
DeleteGender vs gender and "ex" jokes have been around for ever! Geez!
@ 2:54AM
DeleteIf you stopped reading this blog then how are you able to comment at 2:54 in the morning!! magical powers?
Boy there sure are a lot of grumpy commenters, gimme a break, this is a joke, no need to get so bent out of shape with your " it is sexist" indignation.
I am 2:54. It's very encouraging to me that this sparked a discussion and there were some nodding in agreement. There's appropriate and inappropriate. There's a one-time thought and a reoccurring theme. Since it seemed like more of the same to me...I thought I'd finally say something. I'm glad I did. I think Gryphen has done a lot of good work with his blog over the years, and has a good relationship with his daughter, but when something is askew, I think his readers have a responsibility to say what they are feeling and not just pretend something was not written. And btw I have no idea why the timestamp is 254am. I get up for work at 530 or 6.
DeleteThe time stamp is Alaska time, 4 hours earlier than the east coast.
DeleteSorry your marriage was not to the right partner.
ReplyDeleteIt can be one of the most satisfying experiences in life.
Don't stop looking, or thinking about looking.
You could be surprised.
This is one reason why monogamy is stupid and soul mates don't exist.
Delete5:35
DeleteYou are so wrong. If you really believe that it explains why you haven't found your soul mate, not that everyone has one, but many do.
5:35, Many long term marrieds would disagree. Perhaps most people don't have the maturity or don't wait to find the right partner?
Delete40 years here.
On the 12th of this month my husband and I will be married 20 years.
DeleteHe is atheist, I'm in the "energy will always be energy" and "there are too many things that echo each other in looks, ranging from eyes appearing to look like galaxies to seashell designs appearing in leaves. But this is not by a Divine Being playing with space and time, it's this way because before the big bang we were all one big ball of energy" camp.
Religion has no bearing on true live or a "soul mate". This my third marriage (1st lasted 14 years, and we were married when I was 18 & he was 19. We were too young and stupid enough to think we could change the other one. Plus I was raised that sex before marriage is a BIG Sin, and I was Horney. I've since lived and learned. 😉
2nd marriage lasted 2years. It ended when I discovered my husband was molesting his own daughter when I was working night shift. Then I discovered he started to molest her on the day of her mother's funeral...she was only 3 when it started. My x is still in prison and will be for another 20 - 25 years.
Like I said, I will be celebrating my 20th wedding anniversary in a few days. There have been a few rough patches, but we both respect each other, we both compromise, we say we are sorry, we tell each other "I love you and kiss" EVERY time we part (because you never know if it will be the last time...sh*t happens). We may not be perfect, but where I am missing pieces in my life, he supports me, where he has missing pieces in his life, I support him and our cog wheels fit because of it. Respect, compromise, willing to work with each other when difference's pop up, being on the same page and talking to each other, regardless if it is about child rearing, money, politics or religion to work out any differences. To me that is marriage 💑 Love and soul mates crap is what to many people (including myself when I was younger) think of as marriage. Passion and lust fade, but if you have an honest friendship and respect for one another, that is what lasting love ❤ is.
Good luck in finding that "soul mate" you are looking for. No one is perfect. But if you are lucky, you will find someone who "fits".
hmmm? ok, im with ya G, but what about companionship? sharing space and amazing things like real loyal honest humans? Sometimes alone is good for the soul too. Especially when wanted and needed!!. It could be just the word that causes you discomfort and pain?. And of course all the bs that goes with that word!. Find peace and balance living life fully (-:@dreams
ReplyDeleteHmm..I bet Sarah and Bristol have seen these, too. Heck, Todd might even be carrying around all three books in that piece of luggage Sarah calls a purse.
ReplyDeleteWhere'd this come from?
DeleteEvery blog must have at least one comment regarding a Palin.
DeleteThe picture of the couple is funny. I bet the guy never satisfies the woman. He probably falls asleep after climaxing.
ReplyDeleteYou know, women might make excuses for having sex for several reasons, number one in my book is when it stopped being fun and became an obligation. Guys need to step it up and not do the same stuff all the time. It's boring.
ReplyDeleteThe Washington Post is reporting that PP has received a large increase in donations in response to the videos and yet you post this sexist trash. Shame on you Gryphen.
ReplyDeleteMaybe somebody just is not very good in the sack, eh?
ReplyDeleteOr, perhaps they just weren't a good match?
DeleteWow, talk about a lame post. You really stepped in the dog crap this time. as anon at 2:54, says, marriage takes two and from posting this I can see why your marriage was a failure.
ReplyDeleteLighten up. Sometimes it is just a "take my wife, please" moment.
DeleteWe women have heard the excuses too, Gryphen.
ReplyDeleteAnd for me, marriage is a patriarchal institution that I don't wish to experience again. (Unless perhaps like Frieda and Diego we lived in separate houses.) :-)
Liz, I married a Swede and after 38 years, I still won't bend to pick up a dropped fork, only shower while he's at work and have instructed a good friend to stand guard over my corpse!
DeleteLOL 6:09!
DeleteMy same-gender relationship, now a marriage, will be 40 years old next February. Other than being both possessed of the quicker arousal stages that belong to all males, I'm not sure I could tell you, Gryphen, we have an easier time of it in committed relationships. Getting through the boring stretches is no less tough.
ReplyDeleteI can specifically remember one instance my husband and I were quarreling less than five minutes after the disconnect. And surprise, just like straight couples, gay ones argue less about fidelity issues than about money.
Then too, with women there's often the added element of depleted energy after dealing with a stubborn or combative kid or two all day. If I'd spent a whole morning and afternoon keeping two grade-schoolers from killing each other, maybe I too could say 'not tonight' even to Jake Gyllenhaal or Matt Bomer.
That said, you've never struck as an unhappy or miserable person. Sometimes, the single life is exactly what an individual is suited to. Solitude and loneliness are not synonymous.
Great post, thank you!
Deletedvlaries - wonderful post. Especially the last sentence. The loneliest years of my life were my married years.
Delete"...... I hold slits in the highest regard.
ReplyDeleteAfter all they have taken so much abuse for the survival of mankind."
Gryphen, as a member of the opposite sex, I can attest that they do, indeed take a lot of abuse. Perhaps that is why we all could write a paragraph, a chapter, a book or in my case, a tome on the subject....married 38 years.
I always enjoy your posts, dvlaries. The one above is no exception, though Gryphen often strikes me as being the angry, bitter white guy that he rails against. Congratulations to you and your hubby on 40 years together and I hope that you enjoy many more.
ReplyDeleteAs for the person(s) who commented at 3:27 & 4:35 some of us follow this blog for the thoughtful comments and ideas, not because Gryphen is some sort of god.
5:56, Most guys, white or not, eventually become angry and bitter....you kids get off my lawn! At least Gryphen seems a bit more evolved than many!
DeleteI wouldn't say Gryphen is an angry or bitter.
DeleteHe was a gay man pretending to be straight married to a woman who thought he was straight. (my first marriage I was married to a man who after our divorce, came out as gay). I can totally understand the frustration that can cause in a marriage. One person is carrying a HUGE secret that they for one reason or another they can't divulge. In my husband's case it was because of his parents and the army. Once his parents passed away and he was no longer in the army, we divorced and he came out and boy was I shocked. I was very angry for a long time that I had been lied to for 14 years...I have since forgiven him and our 34 year old son has a great relationship with both of us now.
Forgiveness outweighs frustration and secrets every time.
Of course, stepping into another's shoes and looking at their side will also help heal any anger lingering after forgiveness.
This is a subject that fascinates and confounds me. Men and women are very different creatures sexually and we simply don't always "get" each other. I don't think women understand how wired men are for sex and men don't comprehend how much everything ties into a woman's desires.
ReplyDeleteUhh . . . I must have gotten that rare male that was just not that in to sex.
DeleteA yeast infection is not an excuse. It's a reason, many reasons, why a woman might not be "in the mood" when her husband wants to assert his manly right.
ReplyDeleteSure, when it really exists.
DeleteTrue!
DeleteMaybe she just wasn't into you, G, or your methods. Think about what you were doing, demanding, expecting, and what your (probably) angry or sarcastic comment was when she demurred.
ReplyDeleteThat's the beginning of the end of a marriage, for sure.
People getting their freak on in the comments today. ewwww
ReplyDeleteThat Duggar woman needs a copy of every book of this kind, plus someone with a hose to get her husband off of her.
OK all you "This post is exactly why I never read IM anymore!" commenters. Then don't. As was said in the old days, maybe all you cranky grumps need to get laid..
ReplyDeleteFor whatever reason Gryphen posted this particular post, it could have been a great conversation starter. It IS a topic that touches everyone in a relationship at some point. The reasons are as diverse as we are.
Mildred
How can we get laid when we all have yeast infections?
DeleteXO,
Q Sis
Ha! Good one, Q
DeleteI was just throwing in yet another stereo type. You know, a great, honest relationship wouldn't need excuses, and a great partner would understand the difference between "reasons" and "excuses".
Mildred
If you have yeast just make doughnuts or bread just like if you have lemons make lemonade. lol
DeleteMildred how exactly is it a conversation starter when you're offended that I commented about it? What should we do, use sock puppets?
Delete3:14, how was I offended? All I said was don't read IM if you don't like it, and I surely don't understand why you'd take the trouble to comment.
DeleteI found it funny that someone goes to all the trouble to say "this is why I don't read here anymore".
Well good. Maybe you should read more and comment less.
Mildred
Was this too early to make just a joke?
ReplyDeleteCause this was really just a joke.
Unless there is a cup of coffee sitting next to the computer first thing, I don't get humor this early in the morning.
DeleteMaybe it's also all the patriarchy crap I've been reading. Maybe it's all the 'no legitimate rape' comments that have flooded every blog I read due to the false PP videos. Patriarchy humor just doesn't appeal right now.
As for the coffee first thing? As soon as I teach my new (to me) Belgian Malinois to brew a fine cup first thing I'll be posting pictures of me smiling at 4 AM. Don't hold your breath. She doesn't like coffee.
Badumpbish! I'm here all week. Don't forget to tip your waitress!!! :D
Wish I had a nickel for every time my ex said that. :)
DeleteMildred
Not buying it any more than if Trump claims his remarks on Mexican immigrants was a joke.
DeleteI thought it was funny.
DeleteSorry, if this was meant to be a joke, it was a lame and misdirected one. Also misogynistic.
DeleteIt says a lot about you, Gryphen, I'm afraid, that you think a general audience would giggle and laugh about your joy in being single and what "excuses" you thought you heard when YOU wanted to have sex. Maybe they were legitimate; maybe she just didn't like you.
You reveal more about yourself with this "joke" than we really want to know.
Maybe it was a "joke." Not a funny one.
DeleteTry it down at the OK Saloon one Friday night and I'm sure, after midnight, you'll have the whole place laughing. Here, no.
I thought this was hilarious!!! I've been that girl with my guy going on 26 years. Marriage is not a walk in the park. And as you get older, the sex routine is just as tricky to keep hot and spicy.
DeleteJust like any relationship, sex involves a series of life changes on a constant basis that two people try to navigate through together. Sometimes it works and most times (according to US statistics) it doesn't. It's painful. It hurts. It makes you mad. It's great. It feels awesome. It makes you happy. Sometimes these things happen all at the same time (if you're really lucky -- woot, woot!!!)
It takes someone that has reconciled with a past relationship experience to laugh about it. Those who are stuck in a moment where Gryphen's words conjure up similar relationship experiences often take what Gryphen says waaay too seriously.
He has a dry sense of humor with a cynical twist (which I absolutely adore). I totally understood that he was joking.
I'm female, I'm a devout feminist of long standing who is probably abnormally sensitive to sexism and misogynism.
DeleteI've also been married a lonnnng time.
This didn't trip my misogynism meter at all. I thought it was funny.
My first thought, after wiping tears of laughter off my face was, " Where can I get a copy of that book?!"
DeleteThanks for the laugh, G.
After 27 years of work, my dearest just retired and now is looking for things to keep him occupied.
Jeebus, does ANYONE know how to be silly anymore? Personally, I thought it was hilarious and I am the one married to the Swede for 38 years, so I try to keep a fresh excuse at the ready, if I am having a bad day. For goodness sake, lighten up people, or go take a swim in the pee pond with all the other crabby old folks!
DeleteQ
I laughed. And I am a happily married woman.
DeleteHaving a hard time diagnosing the problem with this woman. The guy appears to be using the patented one-two tit squeeze. It is straight out of the owners manual. That should have immediately switched on her idle sexual partition folder and run the beawhoreforyourhusbandandthenmaketacos.exe binary routine.
DeleteHe can try a hard boot with a smack on the ass. If that doesn't work he should just have her declared insane and sent to the nunnery. If she is under warranty, perhaps he can return her for a sister that isn't broken.
10:45, Too funny! Great post!
DeleteAnon 7:30, I find myself agreeing. And in answer to Gryphen....I don't think later on saying it was a joke really works at all.
DeleteROFL! I bet she had TMJ too!
ReplyDeleteI had a hunch it was a joke, just because G. would never disclose the name of his ex on a blog. Guess my coffee was strong enough this morning to pick up on the joke.
ReplyDeleteYeast infections are one of the worst, by the way.
It's a fuckin joke, y'all. Jeez.
ReplyDeleteNot the first bad "joke" at this site and it won't be the last from the Immoral Misogynist.
ReplyDeleteAnd yet, YOU read here! Fuc_ off!
DeleteOff to check if it's available on Amazon Prime. Know a woman who needs it ASAP. There was a similar book about marriage, as in "why aren't you married yet" which was hysterical. My uber Christian friend, however, thought it blasphemous.
ReplyDeleteGood one, Gryph.
I accept this was intended as a joke.
ReplyDeleteI am not joking that there are men who have big issues sexually that prevent them from having sexual relationships. It sucks this is not discussed more and women typically blamed or made an issue of. So glad I chose divorce!
Well, I thought it was right on the mark. And we women mostly want things our way in the what, when, where and why of things.
ReplyDeleteAnd lastly, no one talks about aging and when things not only slow down but cease to exist. Enjoy it while you can.
Wow. The trolls are on fire today
ReplyDeleteYeast infections often burn...
DeleteWTF does this have to do with hatin on the Palins??? Godammit it's only been nearly 7 years since she was on the national scene and nobody around here seems to give a fuck that skanky bitch is still alive. This here's supposed to a motherfucking Palin hatin blog. What else in world is there to talk about? You people are fucking idiots!
ReplyDeleteRelax , I long ago expected ( wished) that the Palin's would go away. They are rats that thrive on garbage.
DeleteI read this blog in hopes of hearing of their tragic demise. We are doomed as a society thanks to palin and the other foolish people that are ignorant or that buy into their con game.
11:03, Although I suspect that you are a c4per in IM clothing, even those of us who live, eat and breathe to spew anti-Palin venom, have to have some distraction. Waiting for the complete downfall of AIP PALIN is the only thing left on my bucket list. I just don't want it to happen after I pass. So, fear not, some of us are as dedicated to the cause as ever!
DeleteI took it for what it is, a joke. I've followed this blog for years and know Griff's sense of humor. I've read post after post where G defends women, women's rights, including women of color and women of all sexual preferences/persuasions. I grew up with brothers, and I've been married to the same man for over twice the years I was single.
ReplyDeleteDid I have yeast infections, headaches, or generally too exhausted for vaginal sex? Or just not in the mood for whatever reason? Yes. But I never made excuses nor lied to my husband, we talked things over and worked it out. Sex is just one of the ways humans express love for each other. These books are condoning using sex as a bargaining tool, or a weapon, when women and men would be more well served by honest communications. Sex and Love are like the four seasons, we have no choice but to adjust.
I'm not judging Gryphen nor his marriage, because I didn't live it nor know nor need to know both sides.
All I know is he's a good man, a good father and he's happily single and in no way misogynous.