Jesus died.
They buried him.
He rose from the dead.
And then he started biting people and that's how Christianity spread throughout the world.
I may be a little hazy on the specifics, and I HAVE been watching a lot of zombie movies, but I think that's the gist.
Personally I do not think it is all that weird that Easter fell on April Fool's Day this year.
After all I have been calling it a fool's holiday for decades.
But still, in the interest of human fellowship, I hope you have a great holiday.
And stay away from those Peeps, I have it on good authority that they are Satanic.
I'm pretty sure these kids think the Easter Bunny is as well.
Christianity, terrifying children for over 2000 years now.Dawg.. Easter bunny came in dancing on they ass 😂 pic.twitter.com/5VBYk1YzUE— Di Gyal Dem Suga (@ScedCaintPaint) March 30, 2018
Not quite 2,000 years.
ReplyDeleteI got to the part about, "And then he started biting people" and I burst out laughing. Because that could be as true as any of the rest of this religious myth.
ReplyDeleteI already got the 'praise his name' and 'songs can't describe his wonder' from my Baptist step-mom (smh).
Happy effing Easter!
Christians say that unless the stories of Jesus are taken "literally" then you are a godless heretic atheist.
ReplyDeleteWhich explains why the christians need guns and the 2nd ammendment, because this misunderstanding leaves a vacuum within the human, who is left powerless, having missed the metaphor for the human that those very stories are meant to animate. But all support has been clearinghoused into idolatry.
Guns step in to then restore a sense of power. False power. Which the christians are blind to, as they've declared their idol THE idol, and that they are therefore CHOSEN and RIGHTEOUS (see Nicene Creed, an archaic affirmation of exceptionalism), so their gun behavior is in the name of god.
Happy April Fools to your LITERAL grade school Jesus. The joke is on you, Christians.
Darlin', you win the internet for the day. This is THE best thing I've seen in a long time. Braise the lard!
ReplyDeleteReligion is the greatest hoax in the history of the world, trump is now in second place.
ReplyDeleteAh, now we know why he is working so hard to be #1 and who he is competing against.
DeleteI’m so happy I woke up to the joke that is religion. Literally year of my life spent in church. No wonder there is good food associated with holidays. We needed some reward for that 4 hour holy thursday mass. Fuck!!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, Im going shopping today at the outlets .
Four hours? Did you go again on Good Friday and Holy Saturday? How long will it be today?
DeleteI can still hear my infant son's screams when he actually saw Winnie the Pooh up front and personal. I've never understood the fear, but all I could do was keep him far away. And don't even try to get that kid on Santa's lap...!
ReplyDelete"he tweeted “Happy Easter” wishes>NO MORE DACA DEAL!”
ReplyDeletehttps://www.rawstory.com/2018/04/no-daca-deal-trump-goes-off-immigrant-caravans-unhinged-easter-morning-tweet/
https://www.rawstory.com/2018/04/tomi-lahren-invokes-spirit-easter-rail-immigrants-americans-come-first-country/
$he lead$um>
"“And let me just say, in the spirit of Easter,” Lahren continued, “if I didn’t live in the United States of America, I’d want to be here too. But this is not the way. Laws still matter. We are a nation of immigrants but we are a nation of lawful immigrants. That needs to be the message going forward.”"Lahren ranted on: “It’s also the agenda of the left. And that’s what terrifies me and it terrifies a lot of other people as well."
“And again let me say, build that wall.”"
Jeebus. He couldn't even leave it alone for ONE FUCKING DAY?
DeleteIs anyone really surprised? He was out to destroy DACA from the start. We all knew it.
ReplyDeleteFirst, *preznidint Trumplethinskin sends a simple(minded), generic "Happy Easter!" Twitter brain-dropping out into the universe, and now, *this*:
“Border Patrol Agents are not allowed to properly do their job at the Border because of ridiculous liberal (Democrat) laws like Catch & Release. Getting more dangerous. ‘Caravans’ coming. Republicans must go to Nuclear Option to pass tough laws NOW. NO MORE DACA DEAL!”
https://www.rawstory.com/2018/04/no-daca-deal-trump-goes-off-immigrant-caravans-unhinged-easter-morning-tweet/
Are he and Malapropism even going to go to church (late again)? If they do, are they going to demand that the congregation stand, turn to the *preznidint, and applaud, thus taking the glory away from the 'newly risen Lord'? /s
Many on the interwebs are rightly pointing out the fact that all the right wing nutbars ranting currently about immigrants are forgetting that Jesus *himself* was an immigrant to Egypt as a baby, fleeing Herod! These hard-hearted idiots would turn the 'Holy Family' back to Israel to face certain persecution, and the death of their newborn! Some Christians!
Interesting...Like a few other WORDs we use...MATTER...
ReplyDelete" Rev. Earle Fisher, said the n-word has taken on new meaning and that the younger generation can decided for themselves what the word means.
“I think sometimes we do end up pontificating over abstract and not affirming people’s concrete lived experiences trying to figure out how to utilize experiences to speak about who we are,”"
https://www.rawstory.com/2018/03/needs-stop-even-community-memphis-library-hosts-debate-use-n-word/
BLM
" the earliest followers of Jesus believed their own message, is that conversations with the dead weren’t that uncommon in the ancient world. Today, if a friend told you that they saw their dead mother you might think that they needed psychiatric help."
ReplyDeletehttps://www.thedailybeast.com/the-biggest-myths-about-the-resurrection?ref=home
DEAD IS DEAD.
End Time$:
ReplyDelete" In December, the administration released a strategy document, the brainchild of national security adviser H.R. McMaster, that embraced a return to “great-power competition” between Washington and Moscow.
To back it up, in February, the Pentagon’s Nuclear Posture Review committed the U.S. to expanding the “flexibility and range” of its own nuclear weapons (PDF), at the cost of over $1 trillion, and including the development of a “low yield” nuke that arms control experts fear will tempt policymakers into using it." Moscow>
“then an arms race began at exactly the time and moment when the U.S. opted out of the Anti-Missile Treaty.”
"Russia’s maturing nuclear arsenal, Putin boasted, was the fruit of Washington’s ABM folly: “You didn’t listen to our country then. Listen to us now.” "Bolton was the State Department’s principal advocate of tearing up the ABM Treaty—and, as an envoy to Moscow over the arrangement, was the one who ripped it up in the Kremlin’s face."
https://www.thedailybeast.com/how-john-bolton-helped-kickstart-the-new-nuclear-arms-race
Tonight on NBC
ReplyDelete'Happy Easter! Tonight we tell the greatest story ever told on #JesusChristSuperstar LIVE in concert on NBC at 8/7c'
"Also- can’t wait to see this guy as King Herod in Jesus Christ Superstar tonight on @nbc!! Have a GREAT show @alicecooper !! We will be watching and cheering!!"
ROCK STAR!
What are they Talibangelicals going to say about a Black Jesus? Oh, that's right. Rock opera. Already heresy. They'll boycott this like they tried to boycott the original movie when it was released.
DeleteOT:
ReplyDelete"Fired Veterans Affairs Secretary David Shulkin tells NPR's Morning Edition that political forces in the Trump administration want to privatize the VA — and that he was standing in the way."
https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2018/03/29/597866101/fired-va-secretary-says-white-house-muzzled-him?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=politics&utm_term=nprnews&utm_content=20180329
Reality really Bites.
"Before entering Bethesda-by-the-Sea Church for Sunday services, Trump stood in front of the front doors and answered questions about his call on Twitter to end deportation protection for so-called Dreamers who were brought to the U.S. as children." <DACA "Happy Easter heathens!"
ReplyDeletehttps://www.rawstory.com/2018/04/watch-trump-stands-front-church-attacks-immigrants-easter-sunday/
And look who was standing next to him, the porn model IMMIGRANT!!!!
DeleteI still haven't figured out the whole "he sacrificed his only son for mankind" thing. If Jesus came back to life and shares heaven with God, where is the sacrifice? Sounds more like a cheap parlor trick to fool the masses. What is so sad about spending eternity in heaven? It's just not computing.
ReplyDeleteAs I understand it, God was gonna clean the slate again like the flood, only this time wipe everyone and start again, because, all of mankind was so sinful. So Jesus steps in and offers to make a trade of him for all mankind. That being an equal swap. So he becomes mortal and the sacrifice is that he is tortured and has to die young at 33 rather than enjoy life, have a family and live to a ripe old age and die in this sleep. But to stay saved and be rewarded we have to change and be good and nice and believe based solely on faith. But depending on what party of the bible you read, nothing we can do can save us as it's at the discretion of God/Jesus/Spirit whether we are deemed worthy or not. You can't earn heaven with brownie points, but you can earn hell by being a mean, cruel shit.
DeleteHoly crap. That story is about as likely as "Airplanes Brought Down The WTC".
DeleteI figured you wouldn't post my comments and show the obvious hypocrisy you live in. White Christians are the devil right (esp the males!)? But you don't dare disparage the religions of any minority groups, including the Christian/Catholic minorities. You are a joke. Once again, this is coming from an atheist.
ReplyDeleteI call bullshit on all religions and always have.
DeleteIf you are talking about the comments that referred to minorities specifically I rejected them because they seemed racist.
I do not differentiate religious people by ethnicity, skin color, or gender.
If you believe in ANY god, goddess, angel, demon, or spirit, then I essentially place you in the same category.
No you don't. You attack white Christians. You don't touch minority Christians or other religions because you know you would be stepping on your own feet and alienating the minority groups you think you own.
Delete