Newt Gingrich and his lovely...WTF? Update!

You know what they say, you can't be too skinny, too rich, or have too many Botox injections.

He has the asshole demographic locked up, and she is working on wooing the lunatics away from Bachmann and Palin.

Those are mine, do you have any caption ideas?

Update: Okay it has been brought to my attention that this is an older picture of Mrs. Gingrich.

Here is a more current picture.

I'm thinking improvement.  How about you guys?

Bill Maher on the Joy Behar Show on Trump, Palin, Bin Laden, and our "ninja" President.

In her Fox News interview yesterday Palin attacks President Obama for being ignorant on energy, running for office instead of running the country, and stealing the 2008 election with foreign money.

Klondike Kardashian starts her vicious attack by blaming President Obama for the high gas prices and using her shoddy record as Governor as an example to, and this part is almost unbelievable, shame him for his performance.

Her assertion that cutting subsidies would hurt smaller oil companies, and their ability to find new oil resources, is a straw man argument at best.  By the way how does the Queen of the Teabaggers justify supporting government handouts to corporations making billions of dollars in profits when their whole philosophy is supposedly to cut government waste? It has become increasingly transparent that Palin is now a shameless corporate whore.

But then around the 2:07 mark Palin gets flustered by Baier's question and seems to change her position entirely, now suggesting that the oil companies are huge corporate entities who use their numerous lobbyists to funnel as much profit as possible to their shareholders. This time when asked again about subsidies Palin avoids the question entirely and instead accuses the President of not knowing what he is doing when it comes to energy.

At the 3:38 mark Baier asks Palin if she were a member of Congress whether or not she would vote against raising the debt ceiling.  Palin answers with a "Hells no!"  (When in fact she actually meant "Hell's yes!") Then she goes on an uninformed rant about not needing to raise the debt ceiling because America "rakes in" 6 billion dollars a day and should, instead of paying to keep the government running on a day to day basis, simply use every penny of that money to pay down the national debt. She then goes on to say that the states should be left to worry about paving their own roads, building their own monuments, and supporting their own "cowboy poetry." (Wow, does Palin hate cowboys!  I wonder how that plays in the Mat-Su Valley?)

By the way, does Palin not understand that having the states pay for these things would STILL mean raising taxes on Americans?  And that without the Federal government financial support which Alaska has gratefully received for these last fifty two years we would still be stuck in the nineteenth century, relying on gravel roads, carrying our own human waste to the local iced over pond in honey buckets, and communicating with our friends and neighbors around the state using ham radio sets?

Then Baier attempts to nail Palin down on her plans for 2012.  "Haven't decided yet." is her response, after which Baier reminds her that Fox pays her to be an "analyst" and suggests she offer an opinion on the rest of the potential GOP field instead.

Palin refuses to say much about anybody in particular, instead waxing poetically about the importance of the process and how it should not simply come down to a handful of "elites" or "chosen ones." (This was said immediately after being asked about Mitt Romney.)

Speaking of "elites" the very next question is about Donald Trump (8:21) and here Palin completely switches gears, commending his courage, and defending his right to "throw out good ideas." (You know like asking the President to prove he was born in America, or what his grades were in school, or wondering out loud who wrote his books for him. You know, good ideas like that.)

When asked about Michele Bachman, Palin says she respects her because she has had to "go up against the elites, if you will in the party, and buck some tide." (WTF, is "buck some tide?")

Baier tries his best to nail Snooki down by reminding her that she said she would only get in the race if she did not see anybody who she felt she could support, and suggesting they were now at the point for her to make that decision.

Palin responds with a brusque, "We're not to that point yet Brett." (Translation: "I can still milk this thing and squeeze donations out of my ignorant supporters  for at least another year yet, so why would I strangle that golden goose now?")

After Palin brings up the fact that the Obama campaign has already started, by way of attacking him, Baier uses that to suggest it is time for the Republicans to get serious and start their own campaigns if they hope to have any chance against him in the upcoming election.

This REALLY pisses Palin off, and she responds with: "Nope the point is our President should be buckling down and trying to find solutions to the challenges facing this country!"

Baier: "It doesn't matter how much he raises?"

Palin: "You know I do not want to believe that the American political process is going to come down to who has the most money. If that's the case? Count me out!"

Well I already counted her out a long time ago, but it is good to hear that she does not realize that having tons of money to spend in a Presidential campaign is a very necessary part of the American political system and that she is admitting she can not compete if it is.

But then the Grizzled Mama gets REALLY ugly (9:08) by suggesting that Obama's 2008 campaign was partially financed by foreign money, which of course is illegal.

To his credit Bret Baier asks Palin directly if she is suggesting that the FEC "would find that foreign money got into the Obama campaign?"

Here Palin seems a little unsure of her "facts" and tries to hand the ball over to Baier: “Am I wrong to bring up the fact, and maybe Bret at this point, you have more information than I do on where a lot of those dollars were that were unaccounted for. Remember we saw much proof of a lot of the contributions to Obama’s campaign credit card contributions under fake names, and addresses that perhaps weren’t even real addresses in the US, you know I certainly hope that we won’t give up on making sure that we have free and fair elections. Not just Obama’s, heck some on the GOP too, on the GOP side. Let’s make sure rules are being followed. We are a land of laws."

Leaving that accusation just hanging in the air, Baier simply ends the interview without providing cover for Palin, leaving her to suffer the sting of the forthcoming criticisms for her outlandish statements all by her stupid self.

This represents and even lower, new low for Palin.  She is clearly still so embittered by her loss to President Obama that she must accuse him of cheating in order to justify how a black man could have beaten her, and the old guy that was running with her, back in 2008.

As Geoffrey Dunn is so brilliantly pointing out in his book, Palin is the very definition of "competitive," and when she loses MUST find a reason to explain it that does not call into question her own lack of ability, nor assign her any fault.

Toward that end, Palin will even accuse the President of the United States of stealing an election.

And you know, coming from somebody who benefited from the corrupt GOP political machine in Alaska, that is just the absolute height of hypocrisy.

(BTW, and this is somewhat off topic, but it appears to me that Palin is spending the majority of her time in Arizona, near Bristol, and has barely stepped foot in Alaska for several months now. My sources have recently suggested that the Shailey Tripp, and Dillingham love child,  revelations were too much for Sarah and that a Palin divorce is imminent. This is still in the gossip stages, but there is certainly plenty of circumstantial evidence to support that contention)

Michele Bachman's big Teabagger tax day rally a "dud." Gee, really?

From Politico:

Michele Bachmann’s much-anticipated Tax Day rally on Monday was a "dud" that drew a paltry 300 people in Columbia, S.C., according to reports.

Bachmann met privately with South Carolina GOP Gov. Nikki Haley ahead of her speech to the small crowd in the Palmetto state’s capital.

The Minnesota congressman rallied the tea party supporters with a call to block Washington from raising the debt ceiling and an attack on President Barack Obama for being too close to Wall Street.

She told reporters after the rally that while she has yet to make an announcement on a run for president, she is looking forward to the opportunity to take on Obama, The Associated Press reported.

The rally's sparse attendance is attracing nearly as much attention as Bachmann's remarks.

Michele Bachman draws a crowd of only 300 today, and Snowdrift Snooki only drew about 650 on Saturday? Hmm it looks like the Tea Party express is starting to lose steam. 

Or maybe its just that the age group which makes up the majority of the Teabaggers can't get their scooters from the Scooter Store (Paid for with Medicare money no less.) up over the curbs on the way to these rallies without their oxygen tanks falling off the back.

DC Douglas kindly creates a video to promote the Sarah Palin/Michele Bachmann Ticket. You know "kindly" may not be the exact right word for it.

This video is AWESOME!



Did you see the end?

Palin/Bachmann 2012.  Because America needs a good laugh.

Obama starts his reelection campaign. Gee I wonder which GOP candidate he gets to crush this time?

From the Obama Diary:

Today, we are filing papers to launch our 2012 campaign.

We’re doing this now because the politics we believe in does not start with expensive TV ads or extravaganzas, but with you — with people organizing block-by-block, talking to neighbors, co-workers, and friends. And that kind of campaign takes time to build.

So even though I’m focused on the job you elected me to do, and the race may not reach full speed for a year or more, the work of laying the foundation for our campaign must start today.

So with that the 2012 campaign season begins.

But what of the Republican contenders?  As of right now not one Republican has declared his candidacy for 2012.

One might almost think they were frightened.

Currently the GOP cannot even agree on a front runner amongst themselves. 

At the CPAC convention Ron Paul ran away with 30% of the vote, while Mitt Romney came in a distant second at 23%. Yet Saturday's CNN poll in South Carolina found Mike Huckabee winning handily:

Huckabee, who has shown no signs of mounting a repeat presidential bid in the state, nevertheless won the vote with 23 percent of the 152 ballots cast, local GOP officials told CNN. He was followed by former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, who captured 11 percent of the vote. Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann finished third with 10 percent.

So even though he has no intention of running Huckabee is still the BEST the people of South Carolina believe the Republicans have to offer?  Ouch, that has to hurt those that are actually serious about taking Obama on in this next go around.

But wait, who is missing from this discussion?

Where is that Teabagging superstar herself, Sarah "Mama Grizzly" Palin?

First let's check that CPAC poll again:

Also among the 15 names on the ballot were former Gov. Gary Johnson of New Mexico (6 percent); Gov. Chris Christie of New Jersey (6 percent); former Speaker Newt Gingrich (5 percent); former Gov. Tim Pawlenty of Minnesota (4 percent); Rep. Michele Bachmann of Minnesota (4 percent); Gov. Mitch Daniels of Indiana (4 percent); former Gov. Sarah Palin of Alaska (3 percent); Herman Cain of Georgia, former talk radio host and former chief executive of Godfather Pizza (2 percent); former Gov. Mike Huckabee of Arkansas (2 percent); former Sen. Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania (2 percent); Sen. John Thune of South Dakota (2 percent); former Gov. Jon Huntsman of Utah (1 percent); and Gov. Haley Barbour of Mississippi (1 percent).

Wow, 3%!  That will certainly slap the lipstick right off of your pitbull, won't it?

How about the CNN poll:

Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney netted 8 percent to finish fourth. Former Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty and reality television star Donald Trump tied for fifth, with 7 percent.

Also appearing on the ballot, in alphabetical order, were Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour, former United Nations ambassador John Bolton, former Godfather's Pizza CEO Herman Cain, Indiana Gov. Mitch Daniels, ambassador to China Jon Huntsman, former New Mexico Gov. Gary Johnson, former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, Texas Rep. Ron Paul and former Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum.  (I made her name bigger so you all could find her in the crowd.)

Holy crap!  Apparently that final group did not even manage to break five percent. Which means that is very probable that Palin only polled at around 3% this time as well.

So let's see if we have this straight.  President Obama quietly goes about doing the job that he was elected to do, and now appears to be virtually unbeatable in 2012.  And yet the potential Republican candidate who has been the MOST critical, and who has attacked our President every chance she gets, cannot even break out of the single digits within her own party?

Well I guess I have to ask, don't I?

"Hey Sarah!  How is that lying bitchy thing working out for ya?"

With Sarah Palin's aspirations all but destroyed, Michele Bachmann jumps up to quickly take her place while the political corpse is yet still warm.

"I think I'll put the knife right there between her grizzly shoulder blades."

Courtesy of the New York Times:

Sarah Palin, the reigning heroine of many social conservatives, has given few signals that she will make a presidential bid. Mike Huckabee, who won the Iowa caucuses in 2008 on the strength of his appeal to evangelicals and other constituencies, has mostly offered reasons for not joining the race.
So into that space has come Representative Michele Bachmann of Minnesota.

“It isn’t that I was born thinking I had to be president,” she said, leaning in and talking softer than she does on television or at Tea Party rallies. “I’m getting a lot of encouragement to run from people across the country. I don’t believe this is a rash decision.”

Do you think she is talking about real "people," or just the voices in her head?

“If Congresswoman Bachmann gets in, she has the potential to appeal to a lot of people who might have gone for Governor Palin,” Gov. Terry E. Branstad of Iowa said in an interview. “Imagine if they both got in. That could make it really interesting.”

If Bachmann and Palin BOTH get into the race this will be the most entertaining GOP primary in history!  They could put the debates on Pay-Per-View and have enough to finance the ENTIRE Republican campaign.

Of course it would still not do them any good because by the time this Republican three ring circus was over and they finally swept up the last of the sawdust, and shoveled out the remaining elephant shit, the American people would never vote whichever clown was left standing into the White House.

But the question remains, if Palin decides to finally use that common sense she is always bragging about and skips this nomination process, does Bachmann truly have what it takes to wear her mantle?

Ms. Bachmann would have substantial obstacles to overcome. She has already made some high-profile gaffes — including declaring late last month that the opening shots of the Revolutionary War took place in New Hampshire, not Massachusetts — that raise questions about her preparation for the scrutiny of a national campaign.

Her Congressional office has experienced considerable turnover, including five chiefs of staff in the last four years. A former chairman of the Minnesota Republican Party, Ron Carey, resigned after five months in the post. He told reporters in Minneapolis that he would not support her presidential bid, saying, “She’s not going to be an electable candidate for us.”

Well I guess that answers THAT question.

"The Teabaggers Queen is dead!  Long live the Queen of Teabaggers!"

Update: Andrew Sullivan honored me with quote of the day. Sweet!