Trumpy Bears?

Yes they do at first appear to be some kind of parody.

But then again, maybe not.

If they are a parody, they are brilliant. I mean a bear, the symbol of Russia, and Donald Trump combined?

However if they are on the level, and actually a serious product, well that is simply disturbing.

Oh and by the way, in case you were wondering, yes they are indeed made in China.

Melania Trump files lawsuit against news outlet for alleging she was an escort because...get this...it prevented her from profiting off being the First Lady.

"Allo, do you like this outfit? It can be yours. Do you like me? Make me an offer."

Courtesy of the WaPo: 

An attorney for first lady Melania Trump argued in a lawsuit filed Monday that an article falsely alleging that she once worked for an escort service hurt her chance to establish “multimillion dollar business relationships” during the years in which she would be “one of the most photographed women in the world.” 

The suit — filed Monday in New York Supreme Court, a state trial court, in Manhattan — against Mail Media, the owner of the Daily Mail, said the article published by the Daily Mail and its online division last August caused Trump’s brand, Melania, to lose “significant value” as well as “major business opportunities that were otherwise available to her.” The suit said the article had damaged her “unique, once in a lifetime opportunity” to “launch a broad-based commercial brand.” 

“These product categories would have included, among other things, apparel accessories, shoes, jewelry, cosmetics, hair care, skin care and fragrance,” according to the lawsuit, which was filed on Trump’s behalf by California attorney Charles Harder. 

Neither Harder nor the White House responded to requests for comment late Monday. Harder has represented several high-profile clients, including wrestler Hulk Hogan, who won a $140 million invasion of privacy verdict against Gawker last year.

So she is not suing because she feels she was personally defamed, and that her image as First Lady has been unduly tarnished, but instead because she cannot turn a profit while serving her country?

So to be clear Melania Trump is upset that allegations that she was once a prostitute are preventing her from continuing to prostitute her name and image for money?

Do these people even hear themselves?

Finally, some Trump brand merchandise that makes sense.

Courtesy of Dangerous Minds:

We already have the “Dump with Donald Trump” toilet paper. So naturally, the next inevitable crap-related Trump product is the the Poop Head Donald Trump Dog Bags. I can’t think of a more fitting tribute to the shitty Republican presidential nominee. 

Each roll comes with 15 bags featuring Donald Trump’s head with a steaming hot turd on top. The bag rolls are $4.99 each.

Yeah Trump University never made sense to me, Trump steaks would probably give me food poisoning, and Trump airlines barely even got off the ground.

But Donald Trump dog shit bags?

Now there is some merchandise worthy of the Trump name.

On Rand Paul's website he will sell you a copy of your own country's constitution that he autographed for only $1,000 of your dollars. Merica!

From the Rand Paul website:

It's hard to find a greater defender of the U.S. Constitution in the Halls of Congress than Rand Paul. As a Constitutional conservative, he makes it the core of everything he does in Washington. If you would like a signed Constitution in a neatly bound book, contribute $1,000 and we will send you one. It's size is perfect for comfortable carrying in the pocket of a sport coat, a purse, laptop bag or in the back pocket of some worn out jeans.

You know you can purchase a copy of the United Stares Constitution on Amazon for less than seven dollars. 

So one has to wonder if Rand Paul is SO arrogant as to believe that his rubber stamped signature is worth an additional $993.00?

Actually there are a number of overpriced items on the Rand Paul website, under "Fun Stuff." (Though none quite so egregious as the pocket size Constitution.)

For instance they have an eye chart (Get it? It's because he's an eye surgeon.) that spells out "Dr. Rand Paul for President. Defeat the Washington Machine Unleash the American Dream."

I assume that Randy is the "American Dream" in that scenario.

Oh yeah, that thing on his head is certainly going to haunt MY dreams!

There are also beer cozies, tote bags, sandals, beer steins, hand fans, and something called the "NSA Spy Cam Blocker," which is actually a little plastic tab that you can slide over the built in camera on your MAC.

Man I have to tell you Randy has really taken political grifting to an all new level.

I mean by comparison the offerings from Ted Cruz, Mike Huckabee, and Marco Rubio are really limp. (Though to be fair Rubio does have a Rubio for President hot sauce. Cause he's Hispanic and wants to make sure nobody forgets that.)

You know if I were a more suspicious person I would almost think that some of these guys are really in this whole political game just to make a fast buck, and sell a couple of books, and have no REAL intention of ever being elected to the White House.

You know if I were a suspicious person that is.

Kinda makes me wonder how this one managed to fall so far behind in the grifting category.

Gee, don't you hate it when you have an idea and everybody just steals it and then makes it better leaving you in the dust?

Oklahoma church is using beer to attract congregants. Yeah this might work.

Courtesy of WKRC: 

Having a cold one while attending church -- it's something many people may dream about, but it has become a reality in one church. 

Last weekend, East Side Christian Church in Tulsa, Oklahoma, invited the public for "Beer and Hymns", and its a decision thats turning heads. 

First Christian Church member Michael Riggs said the event was designed to be an outreach event. 

The church is one of four and a local seminary which hosted Portland author Christian Piatt. "It's a chance to reach a wide demographic of people to ask the questions of what's happening in our Christian world, what's happening in our churches, and what's happening in our community," Riggs said. 

They discussed the future of the Christian church in the 21st century and beyond and hoped others would be enticed to come spend part of their weekend, especially if a couple of beers are involved. 

You know this kind of thinking might just be what saves Christianity in the long run.

I for one am more much more open to discussing imaginary sky people when I'm hammered.

I can see the church signs now, "Come for the suds, stay for the salvation."

Brilliant.  

Shooting target company fashions bleeding zombie target to look like actual shooting victim. Classy.

Courtesy of TPM:

A gun control advocate and Virginia Tech shooting survivor is not amused that he appears in an image created by Zombie Industries, the maker of “life-sized tactical mannequin” targets painted to look like “zombies.” 

“Hey @ZombieInd would u remove pic w/me off your ad 4 ‘Gun Control Lobbyist’ shooing (sic) targets pls? Already been shot…,” Colin Goddard wrote on Twitter on Tuesday. 

Goddard was shot four times during the Virginia Tech massacre in 2007, and currently works at Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence. The image he referred to on Twitter appears on Zombie Industries’ Facebook page. He appears in an image set behind the company’s new “Gun Control Lobbyist” target, which, as the company likes to brag, “bleeds when shot.” 

“While I advocate for criminal background checks on all gun sales (which +90% of America supports), I really don’t appreciate this marketing strategy by a few seeking to profit off our efforts to reduce a public health crisis that affects all of us,” Goddard wrote. “‘Bleeds when shot’… been there already, no thanks assholes.”

Isn't this what voodoo is based on? Making images of certain people and then doing terrible things to them, or casting spells on them, in the hopes that it will affect them in some way?

How Christian of them.

You may remember that this same company also makes Zombie Obama shooting targets as well.

You know I wonder what happens when somebody actually gets shot and the police find a target in the killer's home that looks exactly like the person they eventually murdered?

It is exactly this kind of sick shit that makes most of us want to limit the number of firearms that unhinged or people prone to violence can purchase for themselves.

Firearms industry pours millions into campaign marketing guns to children.

Courtesy of the New York Times:  

Threatened by long-term declining participation in shooting sports, the firearms industry has poured millions of dollars into a broad campaign to ensure its future by getting guns into the hands of more, and younger, children. 

The industry’s strategies include giving firearms, ammunition and cash to youth groups; weakening state restrictions on hunting by young children; marketing an affordable military-style rifle for “junior shooters” and sponsoring semiautomatic-handgun competitions for youths; and developing a target-shooting video game that promotes brand-name weapons, with links to the Web sites of their makers. 

The pages of Junior Shooters, an industry-supported magazine that seeks to get children involved in the recreational use of firearms, once featured a smiling 15-year-old girl clutching a semiautomatic rifle. At the end of an accompanying article that extolled target shooting with a Bushmaster AR-15 — an advertisement elsewhere in the magazine directed readers to a coupon for buying one — the author encouraged youngsters to share the article with a parent. 

“Who knows?” it said. “Maybe you’ll find a Bushmaster AR-15 under your tree some frosty Christmas morning!” 

The industry’s youth-marketing effort is backed by extensive social research and is carried out by an array of nonprofit groups financed by the gun industry, an examination by The New York Times found. The campaign picked up steam about five years ago with the completion of a major study that urged a stronger emphasis on the “recruitment and retention” of new hunters and target shooters. 

The overall objective was summed up in another study, commissioned last year by the shooting sports industry, that suggested encouraging children experienced in firearms to recruit other young people. The report, which focused on children ages 8 to 17, said these “peer ambassadors” should help introduce wary youngsters to guns slowly, perhaps through paintball, archery or some other less intimidating activity.

"Who knows, maybe you'll find a Bushmaster AR-15 under your tree some frosty Christmas morning?"

You know those new gun control regulations simply CANNOT come fast enough!

But beyond that there has to be a very aggressive campaign to educate the American people about the dangers of these weapons in the hands of young children. Or, in my opinion, the hands of pretty much anybody not in law enforcement or overseas exchanging fire with the enemy.

Remember they are already using video games to market their weapons to our youth so we definitely have our work cut out for us.