Joan Rivers dead at 81.

Courtesy of People magazine:  

Joan Rivers, a raucous and often-ubiquitous comedic presence on TV and nightclubs since the 1960s, has died. She was 81. 

"It is with great sadness that I announce the death of my mother, Joan Rivers," daughter Melissa said in a statement obtained by PEOPLE. 

"She passed peacefully at 1:17 p.m. surrounded by family and close friends. My son and I would like to thank the doctors, nurses, and staff of Mount Sinai Hospital for the amazing care they provided for my mother. Cooper and I have found ourselves humbled by the outpouring of love, support, and prayers we have received from around the world. They have been heard and appreciated. 

"My mother’s greatest joy in life was to make people laugh. Although that is difficult to do right now, I know her final wish would be that we return to laughing soon." 

Like anybody who grew up in the sixties and seventies I watched Joan Rivers numerous times on the Tonight Show and other late night  comedy shows, and I always thought she was hilarious.

I will admit that I was only vaguely aware of her career as a fashion critic during award shows, but then when she did that "Wife Swap" with Bristol she returned to my radar.

So of course my favorite Joan Rivers quote will always be this one directed at Bristol:

"In my generation she would have been known as the little whore down the block."

Though I am also partial to this one concerning Bristol's weight gain during DWTS:  

“She should not have been there. Instead of cha-cha-cha, she must have been doing cha-cha-chew. How did she dance for eight hours a day and manage to gain weight?” 

Yep, she's going to be missed.

Joan Rivers has absolutely NO sympathy for the Palestinian people.

Courtesy of Alternet:  

Joan Rivers is known for her scathing sharp tongue, and yet her take on the Isaeli-Gaza crisis is one of her most controversial views to date. When told by a TMZ reporter than almost 2,000 Palestinians have been killed in the conflict, she raised her hands in mock shock. 

“Oh my God! Tell that to the people in Hiroshima,” she says. “Good. Good. When you declare war, you declare war. They started it. We now don't count who's dead. You're dead, you deserve to be dead. Don’t you dare make me feel bad about that.” 

“They were told to get out. They didn’t get out. You don’t get out, you are an idiot. At least the ones that were killed were the ones with low IQs.” 

She goes onto describe Gaza’s Hamas government as “terrorists.” 

“They were re-elected by a lot of very stupid people who don’t even own a pencil,” she said.

Later Rivers tried to suggest that this was taken out of context.

However TMZ has the footage and it is clear that the context was that Rivers despises the Palestinian people.

Rivers also issued this statement on Facebook: 

“I am both saddened and disappointed that my statement about the tragedy of civilian casualties was totally taken out of context. What I said and stand behind is, war is hell and unfortunately civilians are victims of political conflicts. We, The United States, certainly know this as 69 years later we still feel the guilt of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The media, as usual, has decided to only quote the most out of context and inflammatory non sequitur rather than giving an accurate account of what my intentions were behind the statement. Along with every other sane person in this world, I am praying for peace. It is stupid and wrong and I am tired of bearing the brunt of attacks by people who want to sell newspapers or gain ratings by creating a scandal about me that is non-existent.”

You know while it is hard to have too much sympathy for either the Palestinians or Israelis in this conflict, since the conflict seems to be based mostly on religious  differences and therefore completely ridiculous in my eyes, you still, as a human being, have to have compassion for the thousands of dead who did nothing wrong except be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

As for what started this conflict the answer to that goes back well over a hundred years, but establishing a Jewish state right in the middle of what had traditionally been a predominantly Muslim area certainly did not help matters.

I think Rivers reaction is shameful and demonstrates a lack of empathy for a people who feel bullied and displaced by the Israelis.

And I find it reprehensible that Sarah Palin, in her bid to associate herself with more mainstream celebrities, supported Rivers earlier rant against the Palestinians.

Joan Rivers compares Sarah Palin to a retarded person. Hey, wasn't Palin recently buddying up to Joan over the conflict in Israel?

Courtesy of Breitbart (Yeah, I know, ick!):  

Tuesday on "Access Hollywood Live," comedian Joan Rivers likened former Gov. Sarah Palin (R-AK) to "retarded person." 

Rivers said, "Sarah Palin, I think she's not my all time favorite. You know how you have a car sign that says be careful handicap person. I think when they have a retarded person driving a car it should be a picture of Sarah Palin with a line through it." 

Host Billy Bush took on Rivers for the use of the word "retard" in her characterization: "You can't say the word, Joan." 

Yeah Joan, you can't say that word.

Besides comparing Sarah Palin to a retarded person, is an insult to people everywhere who are suffering with a mental disability.

I mean sure they have trouble understanding things sometimes, but they're not batshit crazy ex-politicians, who target unsophisticated morons and try to separate them from their money.

Correct me if I'm wrong but didn't Palin recently quote Joan Rivers in a video on that website of hers that everybody has forgotten about already because they happened to agree on Israel?

Why yes she did. (As did Bristol.)

That's the problem with quoting people who dislike you on your vanity website.

Eventually they are going to say something negative about you and the media is going to pick up on it, and rub it in your face. 

Palin also quoted Howard Stern so I imagine that he will have some choice epithets to fling her way shortly.

(Damn, did I just link to that dead guy's defunct website and Palin's pay-per-bitch blog? Sorry.)

Having cashed the check, Bristol Palin decides to bite all over the hand that fed her. (Well at least helped her get a new pontoon boat.)

You know you would have thought that Bristol would have watched the "Celebrity Wife Swap" episode  she appeared in with Joan and Melissa Rivers a long time ago, but apparently she is just now getting around to it.

At least that's what I assume considering that THIS just showed up on Brancy's blog: 

I appreciate all the love and comments I’ve been getting about my time on Wife Swap – it seemed like many of you really enjoyed seeing Melissa Rivers and me switching lives! Through Twitter and Facebook, I’ve gotten some questions about the show. 

But by far, I was asked most of all about the moment Joan Rivers said this in an off camera interview: 

“Don’t play the victim… In my generation, Tripp would be called illegitimate. Bristol would be called the little whore down the block.” 

When I first saw this, I have to be honest… it was pretty shocking. Joan has criticized me and my family before. She has called my mom a “Nazi,” “crazy,” “stupid,” and “a threat.” 

She has called me an “old horse,” “stupid,” and said things about my weight. I guess we can add “whore” to the list. But isn’t it funny how Joan suddenly goes all 1950s when it suits her? In her comedy routines, she mentions any sort of sexual thing to shock the audience. But when she wants to insult me, she suddenly has the sexual standards of a “Leave it to Beaver” episode. Anyway, I have addressed my pregnancy many times in public. I’m thankful for a God who forgives and loves. 

On Wife Swap, however, she went a step too far by attacking my son Tripp. 

It’s just wrong to call a child something like “illegitimate” on national television. Life is tough, and not everyone is born into the perfect family home life. But my son is not “illegitimate.” He’s legitimately amazing. I like to say, “just because a kid is born into a broken family doesn’t mean the child is broken.” 

All life is precious… And Tripp is a definitely a blessing from God.

Okay I read Joan's comment a few times to see if I had missed something, but I don't think I did.

All Joan did was to demonstrate frustration that somebody who has led SUCH a privileged life goes around playing the victim. And she is right, Bristol got to be the Queen of Abstinence, after the birth of Tripp, due to her mother's name and influence, whereas MOST teen mothers (ALL of them in Joan's day), would have been shamed and made to feel dirty for getting knocked up at her age. (Not to mention the first time she got knocked up, but let's not go there.)

And by the way if somebody does NOT want to be called a whore on national television it might be a good idea to stay OFF of national television.

Because as all of US well know what Joan said pales in comparison to the kinds of things that are said about Bristol on social media sites all over the internet.

Personally I applaud Joan for telling an obvious truth, and screw Bristol for acting all hurt about it almost an entire month after it was broadcast on television just to drum up sympathy and once again play the Palin victim card.

P.S. For those who want to know where Joan actually said those words it is on the very end of this segment.

Bristol Palin explains why she did not cooperate and do Melissa River's job on "Celebrity Wife Swap." It's because she doesn't like to judge people. Wait, what?

So as all of you know, when Bristol took Melissa's place she was also supposed to participate in her show "Fashion Police. Which she refused to do.

Well apparently in response people have been calling her a selfish and a poor sport for not going along with the theme of the show. Which is TOTALLY unfair because being selfish and a poor sport is her birthright as a Palin.

So today Bristol fired up her ghostwriter, and decided to have some words typed on that electronic doohickey to express her deeply held, and invented by another person, reason for not getting off her lazy ass and helping with the show.

Courtesy of Brancy's blog:  

Some viewers, it turned out, thought I wasn’t being a good sport by not filling in on the show for Melissa. Though I sort of answered that on the show, I’ll take the opportunity now to explain a bit further. 

I didn’t want to be a part of the show, because I don’t believe in judging people on how they look. I like clothes, and heels, and nice things, but I have no place to judge what other people wear on a red carpet. In fact, I’ve been the subject of those kinds of conversations before. I’m sure you all remember the negative things that people have said about me in the press. For example, when I was on Dancing with the Stars after the 2008 election, Joan took it upon herself to talk about the way I looked: 

“She should not have been there. Instead of cha-cha-cha, she must have been doing cha-cha-chew. How did she dance for eight hours a day and manage to gain weight?” 

She also said I was stupid, that I danced like her old horse, and that she hated me. I’m reliving these old comments to show that I know personally how hurtful Joan’s words can be. And it’s not just me. Everyone goes through their own struggle with weight, skin, relationships… heck everything in life! 

On the show, Joan Rivers talked about wanting to live beautifully if you could. Well, we do have an opportunity to speak kindly and not so ugly. 

Joan is a funny woman. In fact, I laughed at some of her comments during the taping of Fashion Police and was impressed by how witty she was. But the show is based on making fun of people’s appearances. If I had gone on the show – even though I don’t believe in judging other based on clothes, hair, and weight — it would be like having Melissa speak at a pro life event, even if she’s pro choice.

Wow, I am impressed that Bristol's ghostwriter was able to bring abortion into this post.

Gold star for you Nancy! Really earning those SarahPAC dollars aren't you?

Look I have to agree a little bit with Brancy that having a show that talks about how people dress and how much weight they have gained would probably no be my cup of tea either.

However having signed on for the show, I would have at least appeared on camera and participated as far as I felt comfortable in doing so. After all Bristol did not HAVE to say anything negative about the celebrities if she did not feel like it. Right?

I mean hell, Melissa helped to, at least temporarily, fix Tripp, the least Bristol could have done is sit in front of the cameras and pretended to do Melissa's job.

Besides it is a little difficult to accept that Bristol is NOT a judgmental person when we have so much evidence to the contrary.

Such as rolling her eyes when she meets a teacher in Homer.

Or immediately labeling a man who criticized her mother as a homosexual.

Or calling a DWTS judge "pretty ghetto" for daring to point out she danced poorly.

And don't even get me started about her numerous attacks on liberals.

Oh yeah, SO non-judgmental.

And by the way, since you brought it up, Joan was TOTALLY in the right to point our your inexplicable weight gain during DWTS.

Just saying.

As promised here is last night's Celebrity "Nobody here's a" Wife Swap featuring Bristol Palin and Melissa Rivers. Update!

Joan Rivers: "In my generation she would have been known as the little whore down the block."

BEST line of the whole show.

As I said in the comments of the open thread last night what this appearance ultimately did was forever deflate he notion that Sarah Palin is a super mom and that he family is close knit and healthy.

Everything from Willow's refusal to return to her parents house after "hair school," to Tripp's astonishing lack of discipline, to Bristol's truly ungrateful response to Joan's hospitality, speaks to the fact that for all intents and purposes these children have grown up with very little structure and no good role models.

Personally I believe that Bristol is about one more reality show away from having the Office of Children's Services come and take Tripp away from her.

If there is ANYBODY who comes off as an innocent victim here it is Tripp. Especially after you witness how hungry is is for structure in his life and somebody with some parenting skills to make him feel safe.

Here are the other three videos for your "enjoyment."

Part two.

Part three.

Part four.

(Oops forgot two of the parts.)

Part Five.

Part Six.

Update: Here is Joan River's Facebook page.

For fun see if you can pick out the Palin-bots in the comments section. It is like playing "Where's Waldo" if Waldo was screaming profanities at you while taking a giant crap in the middle of the book.

Celebrity Wife Swap Open Thread. Update!

I am putting this up just for those who might be interested in commenting during the program.

As usual I am going to be several hours behind most of you, but I will do a write up in the morning.

You know, once I sober up.

Update: Here is a recap of the show from somebody who has already seen it.

A clip from tonight's "Wife Swap" featuring Bristol Palin and Melissa Rivers, where they "discover" with whom they are trading houses. Update!

Courtesy of Hollywood Reporter:

Celebrity Wife Swap returns to ABC this Sunday with perhaps their most daunting domestic shake-up yet: The Rivers, as in Joan and Melissa, have been airlifted out of their blue-state bubble and dropped with a thud into the moose-dressing lives of the Palins, as in Bristol and Willow, daughters of Sarah Palin.

Okay are we REALLY to believe that these two daughters of the biggest control freaks on the planet  did NOT go through a whole slew of negotiations, and received certain guarantees, before they signed on to do this program?

If you believe that I have a bridge to the future of Palin's political career to sell you.

Update:  Apparently the original idea was for Sarah to participate in this show as well, however, and try to contain your shock, she quit.

Joan Rivers on the Palin girls: “The mother is so out there and so opinionated and they’re very careful, constantly [thinking] that they’re going to make the wrong step.”

Courtesy of Access Hollywood:  

Joan Rivers lived with Bristol Palin on the upcoming season premiere of “Celebrity Wife Swap,” but did the unlikely duo get along? 

Joan encountered the single mom for the June 23 episode of the ABC series when her own daughter, Melissa, traded places with Bristol. 

“They’re very nice girls. They’re scared girls,” Joan said of the Palin sisters on Tuesday’s Access Hollywood Live. “The mother is so out there and so opinionated and they’re very careful, constantly [thinking] that they’re going to make the wrong step.” 

Joan only lived with Bristol for the episode, but her daughter, Melissa, spent time in Alaska with Willow Palin (Bristol’s sister), and Bristol’s son Tripp, 4. 

(On Bristol)”[She’s] very, very pretty, terribly shy, very closeted. She’d never been to a Broadway musical. I was sitting there with six gay friends, our mouths dropped,” Joan recalled. “She’s never been to Europe. That’s why I said, ‘Come live with me for a month, boy, oh boy, would we have a good time! Let’s go to Venice and put our feet in the canal. Let’s have fun.’ It sounds stupid, but I felt very sorry for her and I liked her tremendously, and [she is] so nice, not a mean bone in her body.” 

By the end of the experience, Joan said she and Bristol had bonded. 

“We all cried when the week was up,” she explained. “Melissa and Willow were crying and kissing and I was hugging Bristol saying, ‘Come to New York I want to show you some Jews!’”

Okay well I agree with Joan that the girls are bullied by their mother and afraid to do anything which will piss her off, but I am not willing to give Bristol that much of a pass..

For years I have been hearing stories about Bristol, even as a very young girl, and they do not exactly match the image of "not a mean bone in her body." In fact some of the shit she has pulled has been downright nasty.

After all she DID write a book essentially accusing the father of her child of getting her drunk and raping her. Not exactly the kind of thing that people who don't have "a mean bone in her body" tend to do.

However, to be fair, Sarah Palin may be one of the all time worst mothers so the fact that her children are incredibly messed up is certainly not something which can be blamed entirely on them.

I have said often that if the kids were to get away from that controlling shrew of a mother they might have a real chance of being reasonable contributing members of society. However as we have seen time and time again, the Grizzled Mama has sunk her claws deeply into her children so that they can barely move without her approval.

I'm STILL not sure how Palin ever allowed this show to be filmed, with no control over the final product. Somehow I don't think she is going to come off very well.

Perhaps Palin is so desperate to keep her promise to Bristol of a career in show business, and so fears losing control over her, that she is now grasping at ANY offer coming their way, regardless of how little control they offer her, or how little they are willing to pay?

First preview of Bristol Palin and Melissa Rivers Celebrity Wife Swap. Seriously nothing about this makes sense.

I cannot embed the video so just click here to see it for yourself. 

Joan Rivers asks, "Who's the school tramp in Wasilla?" and the camera immediately goes to Bristol. Yet ANOTHER indication that the Palins did not have final editing rights on this show.

You know as much as I hate reality shows I am definitely not missing this one.

First actual news report confirming the Melissa Rivers/Bristol Palin "Celebrity Wife Swap" reality show segment.

"Mom always said that even bad attention is better than NO attention. Right?"

Courtesy of USA Today:

 Bristol Palin just can't get enough reality TV. 

The double Dancing With the Stars alum, who also starred in her own reality show for Lifetime, is now kicking off a new season of Celebrity Wife Swap. 

On June 23 (ABC, 8 p.m. ET), Bristol and sister Willow Palin will trade lives with Joan Rivers and her daughter, Melissa. Bristol Palin poses on June 26, 2011.(Photo: Robert Deutsch, USA TODAY) 

Bristol and her son, Tripp, 4, live in Wasilla, Alaska, with Willow. Needless to say, snow in May is a surprise for L.A.-based Melissa and Joan, who arrive to find that Tripp rules the roost. According to ABC's release, Melissa "finds it a challenge to deal with Tripp's boyish exuberance." She thinks he needs more structure and a daily routine. 

Meanwhile, at the Rivers' L.A. home, which doubles as a television production office and the set of three TV shows, every day is scheduled to the minute for Melissa's son Cooper, 12. The house bustles with cameras and crews, but the family makes sure to always sit down for dinner together. Bristol is surprised by it all, and vows to lighten things up. (Yeah good luck with that!)


 "Melissa and Joan arrive to find that Tripp rules the roost."

Oh great, so we get to see  yet ANOTHER television program which showcases Bristol's terrible parenting skills.

I swear these people just continue to invite ridicule at every opportunity.

By the way, and I think this should be noted, I am Facebook friends with Sunny and in her posts about Levi's time with Tripp the boy looks extremely happy and seems to be quite well behaved.

I'm just saying.

Yep it's happening. Bristol Palin and Melissa River's episode of Celebrity Wife Swap airs on June 23rd.

Courtesy of Futon Critic:

WIFE SWAP* 
Air Date: Sunday, June 23, 2013 
Time Slot: 8:00 PM-9:00 PM EST on ABC Episode 
Title: (#811) "Bristol & Willow Palin/Melissa & Joan Rivers" 

I literally cannot tell you the number of times that I thought somebody was pulling my leg about this show.

Even when after I had pretty much confirmed that Melissa and Bristol were doing SOME kind of reality show together I was still not convinced that it would be quite this lame.

After all neither Melissa or Bristol are married, so the whole premise of the show does not work for them. I am still stunned that they would have Willow and Joan Rivers as stand ins for their non-existent husbands. (Especially since you KNOW that Joan Rivers is on Sarah Palin's enemies list.) It may in fact be just about the most pathetic episode of a truly pathetic reality show that I could imagine.

And remember this is a show that once featured a swap between disgraced pastor Ted Haggard and wild man Gary Busey., and an ex-girlfriend of Hugh Hefner's and a woman who makes ALL of her money off of her children.

This must be that whole "living their lives privately" that the Palin troll is always going on and on about.

Can you say "Alaskan Train Wreck?" I knew that you could.

Update on the Bristol Palin/Melissa Rivers reality show.

"Yeah I despise you too, but our girls need jobs"

Since there has been some speculation about the reality show that Bristol and Melissa are filming I thought I would give you all that I know so far.

I DO have somebody who is in the know about this and from what I have heard this is not a "wife swap" show, but instead a show about single mothers that, as far as I know, has not yet been given a title.

When I first started to hear about this I was, I have to admit, a little skeptical. But as time has gone on I have heard from a number of sources that Melissa and Bristol have been spotted together in Alaska and in LA.

In fact Melissa even tweeted that she was in Alaska back on May 4th.

I'm in Alaska! instagram.com/p/Y5SQmmDvcP/
— Melissa Rivers (@MelRivers) May 4, 2013

The fact that the attached picture is from the Best Western right by Lake Lucille, makes me think that the show is a pretty safe assumption at this time.

Now given the benefit of the doubt to my source, whose initial reports seem to have been confirmed, I have also been told that neither Bristol, nor her control freak mother, have any say over the final editing of the show.

Which is kind of interesting, and potentially very entertaining, considering what Joan Rivers has said about BOTH Palin and her incredibly untalented offspring: 

Joan and daughter Melissa Rivers appeared on an episode of “Joy Behar” that aired Wednesday evening to promote their new show, “Joan and Melissa” and explain that Joan had recently been canceled from an appearance on “Fox and Friends” for saying negative things about Fox contributor Palin. 

“I guess…my mom made a comment like hi, I don’t think Sarah Palin is very smart,” Melissa Rivers said. “Apparently we’re…uninvited to do ‘Fox and Friends.’” 

“Well everyone says that,” Behar said. “Even Newt Gingrich is practically saying that.” 

“[Palin's] a Nazi, I don’t know,” Rivers said. 

Rivers added that Bristol, who participated in “Dancing with the Stars” last season, is “stupid,” echoing her recent claim that Sarah is “stupid and a threat.” 

“I voted for her stupid daughter, I should have, who couldn’t dance and I felt sorry for her,” Rivers said. “I should have voted for David Hasselhoff.” 

Oh yeah, THIS particular reality show might just be worth watching. "Might" be I said.