A new video by the folks at Funny or Die combines Donald Trump and the "Handmaid's Tale" into something truly horrific.

When I first saw this I thought it would be good for a laugh.

However after watching it I was not laughing at all.

In fact it chilled me to the bone.

The comparisons are simply too close for comfort.

The Divine Miss M certainly has Donald Trump's number.

With credit. pic.twitter.com/8wrCbwEY49

— Bette Midler (@BetteMidler) January 4, 2016

When I turned 21, while going to school in Hawaii, my girlfriend sang "The Rose" to me for my birthday.

She had an exquisite voice and I was forever trying to get her to sing for me, but she usually refused.

On this day she sang the entire song A capella, and it remains the most beautiful thing that I have ever heard in my entire life.

So there is a very special place in my heart for Better Midler, and I am pleased to see that she is still a force to be reckoned with.

P.S. By the way the first time I became really smitten with my girlfriend is while she was acting in a high school version of Catch-22.

Isn't life funny?

Religious parents in England do not want their children to be exposed to Harry Potter books because they "normalize and trivialize acts of magic." Is it possible to get poisoning from too much irony?

Courtesy of the Independent:  

Teachers are reportedly receiving complaints that teaching the Harry Potter books in classrooms exposes children to "witchcraft and Satanism". 

Tom Bennett, a school behaviourist consulting with the Government, has claimed concerns from parents, particularly of religious backgrounds, that the popular series of novels works to "trivialise acts of magic". Speaking at an event held at London's City Hall, Bennett stated, "Harry Potter deals with the occult. There are many, many parents who are uncomfortable with their children discussing or looking at or reading anything at all do with the occult. 

For many parents, particularly of Evangelical Christian backgrounds, and sometimes of Muslim backgrounds, the occult is not something which exists in fiction and fantasy, the occult is something which is a very living, live part of the faith. Many parents, particularly if they are Jehovah's Witnesses, will ask their children not to be exposed to books which trivialise or normalise acts of magic. It's part of witchcraft and Satanism. 

They say they'd rather their children weren't exposed to literature or fiction which normalised or trivialised or even applauded or encouraged what they would regard as witchcraft."

Uh huh.

Well it makes sense that these parents would not want their children exposed to the magic in Harry Potter books, and the be able to compare it to the pathetic parlor tricks performed by the hero of THEIR favorite book. 

Seriously, walking on water, cloning loaves and fishes, raising somebody from the dead?

I've seen that Criss Angel guy do those first two several times, and I learned that last one in my CPR/First Aid class.

I think these parents are just angry that J.K. Rowling had a more fertile imagination than the old primitive fools who compiled the stories of the Bible.

By the way if you ever want to read an excellent book about the writing of the Bible I suggest you start here.

America's best Christian, Betty Bowers, reads bedtime stories. Well sort of.

I actually enjoy Betty's take on the children's stories. Of course my favorite author is Stephen King.

Not that Mr. King's work has anything on the Bible. THAT book has more violence and sexually deviant behaviors than anything written by "Game of Thrones" author George R. R. Martin.

Some troubling news about our friend Joe.

Courtesy of Yahoo News:  

Author-journalist Joe McGinniss says he was diagnosed in May with advanced prostate cancer but is responding well to treatment and feels "terrific." 

The 70-year-old McGinniss is best known for controversial works such as "The Selling of the President" and "Fatal Vision." On Wednesday, he posted on his Facebook page that he had "inoperable, terminal, metastatic prostate cancer." He confirmed the diagnosis in response to an email from The Associated Press and in a subsequent Facebook posting. 

McGinniss told the AP that he has no symptoms and is eager to write more books and magazine articles.

This is certainly an upsetting way to end the day.

Joe was, and continues to be, a great friend, and I have every confidence that he will "not go gentle into that good night." But instead  "rage, rage against the dying of the light."

I still remember sitting with Joe on the porch of his rented house in Wasilla, looking out over that dead lake and sharing stories about Alaska on one of the most beautiful summer days that I can remember. Not a memory that I will soon forget, and I hope that he returns someday soon so we can pick up where we left off that day.

This country owes Joe McGinniss an incredible debt of gratitude for exposing Sarah Palin to the world. Not to mention the fact that they owe him for the many OTHER wonderful books that he had written before.

I am fortunate to have TWO books in my library signed by Joe, "Going to Extremes" and of course "The Rogue."  I will treasure them always.

Hopefully they will soon be joined by the NEXT book that Joe writes as well.

The Magic of Winnie the Pooh.

Before I begin this post I just want to mention that I used to be a power lifting and martial arts champion.

In other words I lifted really heavy things and punched people in the heads for trophies, and sometimes cash prizes.

Those are very, very manly things, I am sure you will agree.

Did you get that manly part?

Okay then, on to Winnie the Pooh.

In those emotionally overwhelming  moments when I first held my newborn daughter, I made a decision.

Well the first thing I thought was that somebody needed to take her and hose her off a little because she was covered in goo and it was making me gag a little, but the second thing that I thought was that I was going to make sure my daughter was exposed to the best things that life had to offer, which included reading to her from the classics of literature. (I actually wrote about that in an earlier post.)

So the very first book that I bought for us to read together was this one.

 

As you can no doubt tell from the tears in the cover and the weathered overall look, this book has been read, and reread, many, many times.

However I was in such a hurry to start reading the "classics" to my new born daughter that I literally purchased this book, which is NOT the watered down Disney version by the way, just days after her birth.

Though I was completely convinced that my daughter would have the IQ of a genius, it did occur to me that the current level of her comprehension might make this unsuitable for bedtime reading for at LEAST a few more weeks.

So to prepare her for the first step on her long literary adventure I bought this:

I know, isn't that adorable?

However in the baby instruction book that I bought, (because for some reason she did not come with one), it said that my daughter's eyes may not be able to focus on the mobile very well for the first few months, so I decided to buy one of these for her to sleep on:

And, of course, one of these:

Only the original Pooh bear would suffice for my daughter.

(You don't think I overdid it do you?)

So long story short, my daughter was raised around Winnie the Pooh, and Winnie the Pooh paraphernalia, and yes, she grew up LOVING the Winnie the Pooh stories. (So yes parents OCCASIONALLY the things you want your children to do they will actually do. Remember, I said occasionally!)

So let's fast forward about twenty three years into the future, to two days ago.

There I was surfing the net, looking for adventure movies full of action, and violence (and hopefully some tasteful nudity), to watch this upcoming weekend, when I happened to notice that this movie was also playing at the local theater.

Have you ever smelled a smell, or heard a sound, and suddenly found yourself transported to a different time and place? A distant, happy, nearly forgotten place which seems to envelope you in warm, soothing memories that quickly dissipate just as you find yourself reaching out to touch them?

Suddenly all thoughts of superheroes, giant transforming robots, and immature scatological comedies completely left my mind and all I wanted was to watch this movie.  This animated, G rated, Saturday matinee friendly movie.

Did I mention I used to be a bouncer at a strip club?  Well I was!

But you know I didn't REALLY want to see this move.........alone.

In fact there was only one way I would actually go through with it and humiliate myself by sitting in a sticky theater with a bunch of over caffeinated preschoolers. And let's face it there was NO WAY my too busy to even text her father back, adult daughter was going to want to watch this movie!

Right?

But I figured it wouldn't hurt to ask, so I did.

"So Honey, I happened to see that there was this new, probably completely screwed up, Winnie the Pooh movie out.  And I was wond..."

"Oh yeah, I was going to ask YOU if you wanted to go to that! I think it looks really good!  Do you remember all of that Winnie the Pooh stuff you bought me?  I kept it and still have all of it in storage! (You do?) So can we go tomorrow?"

"Sure.....I mean....if that is what YOU want? I guess I could find the time."

So it looked like we were going after all.

The only potential obstacle to our plan was that the movie started at 10:15 in the morning, which was the only time I could make it due to work commitments, and my daughter is NOT an early riser. (That kids, is what is known as a HUGE understatement!)

So the next day I decided to start waking my impossible to rouse daughter a whole hour before the movie was supposed to start. (Imagine ripping a giant tree trunk out of the ground, only then imagine that when you turn your back it replants itself and makes you start all over, and you will have SOME idea of what it is like to get my daughter out of bed before noon.)

However right when I had a couple of pots and pans to bang together in my hands, and was walking up to her bedroom door, I noticed that she was already in the bathroom getting ready. (Yeah I admit I had an "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" moment there.)

Before I knew it she was ready to go and we were on our way. On our way to see Winnie the Pooh.  The matinee showing.  My twenty four year old daughter and I. Why was I doing this again?

On the way we managed to catch up on all of the things that we are both too busy to discuss while living in the same house and sleeping only TWO DOORS AWAY FROM EACH OTHER! (Did I mention that she  texts me from inside her room when she wants to tell me something, rather than open the damn door and say "Hey Dad, I have something to tell you?" Well I am mentioning it now.)

When we got to the theater I told her she could get anything to eat she wanted, my treat.

So she did.

Thirty five dollars later (When did theaters start serving Filet Mignon?), we were ready to find our seats.

As anticipated the smallish theater was full of sticky little ankle biters that had apparently just broken out of the cotton candy factory, and were so hopped up on sugar I swear I saw their eyeballs vibrating.  But once the movie started they settled down to only intermittent screams of "Stop touching me!" and the occasional maniacal giggle.

The movie was okay, nothing special.  To be honest I liked the old Disney version a little better, but it was relatively entertaining. You know, for a cartoon.

But just as I was about to lean over and whisper my disappointment into my daughter's ear, I heard her laugh.

It swear it sounded different than her usual laugh, yet also...familiar.

So I glanced over.

It was just for a moment.  One bittersweet, precious, magical moment.

But it was enough.

Hey Alaskans! Tonight is YOUR opportunity to thank Joe McGinniss for driving Sarah Palin just a little bit crazier during his book signing at Metro Books in Anchorage. You don't want to miss it!

Tonight at 6:30, Joe McGinniss will be giving a talk and signing copies of his newly reissued book "Going to Extremes"at Metro Music and Books at 530 E. Bensen blvd, in Anchorage.

If you have not had a chance to meet Joe and thank him for bravely standing his ground against Sarah Palin and her horde of Palin-bots this is your chance.

Oh and you can also purchase a pretty incredible book about our wonderful state as well, AND get it autographed by the author.  Not a bad deal I am sure you will agree.

And who knows, you might just see an Alaskan blogger or two in line to get THEIR books autographed as well.

Pearls of "wisdom" from the book "Trailblazer: An Intimate Biography of Sarah Palin".

Sarah would try to play down her looks, telling Vogue magazine in a 2007 interview that she tried "to be as frumpy as I could by wearing my hair on top of my head and these schoolmarm glasses. I wish they'd stick to the issues instead of discussing my black go-go boots." (Chapter Two, pg. 26)

You know I may not be an expert on fashion or public relation, but it dawns on me that if you don't want the press to discuss your "go-go boots" that it might help to STOP WEARING THEM!

Or is that too logical?

Now let me take a moment to vent.

I am up to chapter four in this "book" and it is mind numbingly bad. There are typos, and run on sentences, and fluff, and lies, and....well I could go on and on.

But I am going to finish it, if it kills me. And if any book could shorten your lifespan it is this one.

I have received some comments from visitors asking me to just skip ahead to the "good" parts. However I can say without equivocation that there are no "good" parts. If they mean the more scandalous parts, well I am sorry but I am somebody who believes you must read a book from start to finish and that is what I am going to do.

God help me.