He is so close.

Former Democratic vice presidential nominee John Edwards intends to enter the 2008 race for the White House, two Democratic officials said Saturday.

This is the Democrats winning ticket, "Edwards/Obama 2008".

It just cannot lose.

Apparently France does not have any unattractive news anchors. And they are naughty little sluts too. France rocks!

A French news presenter whose affair with a politician has been all over French news media has threatened to sue for invasion of privacy.

Marie Drucker said she would leave her job at France 3 temporarily in February, Variety reported. She is the news presenter in the late evening.

Holy crap!

I have no idea what station she works for but it is now my favorite news source in France.

I am having trouble typing with one hand so I will just stop now.

Documents reveal Blair lied about WMD's in Iraq. Anybody surprised? No?

In the testimony revealed today Mr Ross, 40, who helped negotiate several UN security resolutions on Iraq, makes it clear that Mr Blair must have known Saddam Hussein possessed no weapons of mass destruction. He said that during his posting to the UN, "at no time did HMG [Her Majesty's Government] assess that Iraq's WMD (or any other capability) posed a threat to the UK or its interests."

Mr Ross revealed it was a commonly held view among British officials dealing with Iraq that any threat by Saddam Hussein had been "effectively contained".

He also reveals that British officials warned US diplomats that bringing down the Iraqi dictator would lead to the chaos the world has since witnessed. "I remember on several occasions the UK team stating this view in terms during our discussions with the US (who agreed)," he said.

"At the same time, we would frequently argue when the US raised the subject, that 'regime change' was inadvisable, primarily on the grounds that Iraq would collapse into chaos."

So of course if Blair knew then Bush also knew.

You know I have never doubted that before, but reading about the evidence pisses me off all over again.

I really do not think that we have a choice but to impeach Bush and his Vice President, and indict any of his cabinet members and staff who had a hand in this debacle. I mean if our values are based on justice then we just cannot allow this to happen without the people responsible being punished. We just cannot!

Twin teachers in trouble for having sex with female student. Okay now stop unbuttoning your pants because there are some unfortunate pictures.

Meet Franca and Antonia Munoz-Juvera. The 26-year-old twins work as teachers at the same California high school. And they're both facing felony charges as a result of an illicit sexual relationship with a female student.

This could have been the stuff of male fantasies for decades. Except for the fact that the two women are clearly space aliens who have come to this planet to seduce our teenage women into bizarre sexual situations. And that would still have been hot if the twins did not each have a forehead the size of a fucking mini-van.

The Smoking Gun apparently did not get the facts right, because as you can see from the picture on the right these were triplets not twins. And I think the one on the right is the real looker in the family.

What the discriminating reveler is decorating his house with this holiday season. FSM light sculpture!

Wouldn't my neighbors just love this.

There are instructions in the link above on how to make your own Flying Spaghetti Monster light display.

I think you should do it.

Jib Jab brings you "Nuckin Futs". Yes I wrote that correctly.

These guys are brilliant.

British scientists say that "fat clothes" should come with warning labels that tell you how to not be so damn fat! Anybody else smell a lawsuit?

This is their suggestion for a warning label to be placed on clothes that come in certain sizes.

Printing a helpline numbers for advice with all clothes sold with a waist of more than 40in for men and 37in for boys, women’s garments with a waist of more than 35in or size 16 or above, and more than 31in for girls.

I am concerned for the welfare of people who I think are much too heavy to be healthy but I would never consider telling them to get help.

I guess I am just not quite that fucking rude!

The Daily Show's Samantha Bee tries to Americanize Al-Jazeera. This is hysterical.

I cannot believe they let the Daily Show riff on them like this.

At least we know they have a sense of humor.

John McCain may be living in a fantasy world even further removed from reality then Bush's as he calls for more troops to be sent to Iraq.

Sen. John McCain said Thursday that America should deploy 15,000 to 30,000 more troops to Iraq to control its sectarian violence, and give moderate Iraqi politicians the stability they need to take the country in the right direction.

You know I thought the big attraction for John McCain was that he was an ex-military man who understands the military. Well then how can he be asking for more troops when we are being told that the military is stretched to the breaking point?

Are these just imaginary forces that exist in the wonderland that occupies McCain's age addled brain?

He is a victim of torture who now supports America torturing detainees, he is a conservative who does not say a thing about he huge expenditures by this administration, and he is a victim of the Rove book of dirty tricks who now kisses Bush's ass like a favored lap dog.

He is one of the worst hypocrites that the Republican party has to offer. And now we need to stick a fork in his ass because he is done.

Another video of our proud military humiliating Iraqi children.

Don't these idiots realize that their video will be seen by EVERYONE?

At least one of them seems to realize that what he is doing is wrong, at least he says he knows.

Christian video game has "convert or die" approach to the non-believers.

The game's story line game begins after the rapture, when most Christians are transported to heaven. Earth's remaining population is faced with a choice of joining or combatting the Antichrist, as embodied by a force called the Global Community Peacekeepers that seeks to impose one-world government.

The game's critics depict the ensuing struggle, set in New York City, as one fostering religious intolerance.

"Part of the object is to kill or convert the opposing forces," said the Rev. Tim Simpson of Jacksonville, Fla., who heads the Christian Alliance for Progress. "It is antithetical to the Gospel of Jesus Christ."

As if the animosity that Christians have toward the secularists was not bad enough now they make a game which suggests that those who do not accept their belief system are better off dead? And this is not considered violent?

Have I mentioned how much I dislike hypocrisy?

And for the record I have the same view toward Grand Theft Auto and any of the first person shooters which allow the gamer to kill the police or any individual who is portrayed an innocent bystander. I do play some games, and find them relaxing but I eschew games where there is unnecessary brutality or which seem to revel in the taking of life.

Bush administration tries to control scientists.

The Bush administration is clamping down on scientists at the U.S. Geological Survey, the latest agency subjected to controls on research that might go against official policy.

New rules require screening of all facts and interpretations by agency scientists who study everything from caribou mating to global warming. The rules apply to all scientific papers and other public documents, even minor reports or prepared talks, according to documents obtained by The Associated Press.

If this is not the obvious attempt to keep us from finding out how badly the administration is damaging our country and the world then I cannot imagine what would be.

Keeping us from learning anything but what they want us to learn is a defining characterisitic of this White House. That angers me beyond comprehension. I want the opportunity to embrace or keep a critical eye on new information all by myself. I don't want anybody filtering what information I have access to. Especailly not a White House with an obvious agenda to keep myself, and my fellow Americans, in the dark about very important issues.

Bush wants to launder 300 million more taxpayer dollars through Iraq and Afghanistan.

President Bush will soon seek about $100 billion in additional emergency funds for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, according to a House report Wednesday.

It is still my contention that Bush is using these conflicts to funnel money to his pals in Halliburton, to pay weapons dealers, and contractors, as well as security agencies who are all benefitting from this war. And you can bet your ass they were heavy contributors to the Republican party and George Bush.

To find out just who is being paid with blood money just go here.

So much innocent death just to make his friends rich. These so called Christians are a soulless bunch.

Ray Barone's dad is finally finding peace from his busy body wife. Somewhere there is an abby-normal brain finally laid to rest.

I am a huge fan of "Everybody loves Raymond" and watch it every day on TBS. I loved the character of Frank Barone and his love/hate relationship with his wife.

And his turn as the monster in Mel Brook's "Young Frankenstien" was my all time favorite movie when i was fourteen years old.

Peter Boyle was a huge talent, and what a shame to lose him.

I think it's clear that I need one of these for Christmas.

My boys deserve only the best.

Uh oh!

Soy is nutritious and contains lots of good things. Unfortunately, when you eat or drink a lot of soy stuff, you're also getting substantial quantities of estrogens.

Estrogens are female hormones. If you're a woman, you're flooding your system with a substance it can't handle in surplus. If you're a man, you're suppressing your masculinity and stimulating your "female side," physically and mentally.

So apparently eating too much soy can make you a gay man with a small penis.

I eat soy snacks every single day.

This is not a good thing.

I knew my pants were geting looser, but I just thought my ass was shrinking. Shit!

Still God shopping? This site will give you all the stats you need to know to make an informed decision. You don't want to screw this one up.

I really have no idea how anybody chooses. I mean there are literally thousands of Gods.

It takes me forever just to choose what I want to eat for dinner.

Surely nobody just chooses what is the most convenient. I mean that would just be sad.

This should frighten any intelligent American who still believes in freedom of religion in this country.

A watchdog group that promotes religious freedom in the U.S. military accused senior officers on Monday using their rank and influence to coerce soldiers and airmen into adopting evangelical Christianity.

Such proselytizing, according to the Military Religious Freedom Foundation, has created a core of "radical" Christians within the U.S. armed forces and Pentagon who punish those who do not accept evangelical beliefs by stalling their careers.

"It's egregious beyond the pale," said Mikey Weinstein, president and founder of the Military Religious Freedom Foundation. "We apparently have a radicalized, evangelical Christian Pentagon within the rest of the Pentagon."

The group asked the Pentagon's inspector general to investigate a video in which some Army and Air Force officers discuss their faith while in uniform.

If the "Jesus Camp" story bothered you, this will scare the holy shit out of you!

You can see the video here.

P.S. By the way any organization that produces video which talks about providing a moral blueprint for lawmakers and then prominently features Tom Delay, should be treated with complete disdain and suspicion by any thinking individual. It has all of the appearances of a satirical video produced by the "Daily Show" or the "Onion". But sadly it is all too serious.

4% of Americans support the President's Iraq war strategy. He probably still calls that a mandate.

Forty-three percent say the U.S. should keep fighting, but with new tactics, while 50 percent say the U.S. should begin to end its involvement altogether. Only 4 percent say the U.S. should keep fighting as it is doing now.

Just 21 percent approve of President Bush's handling of the war, the lowest number he's ever received, and an 8-point drop from just a month ago. Most of that drop has been among Republicans and conservatives. Three-quarters of Americans disapprove of how the president is handling Iraq.

However we know that as long as Bush has the support of Laura and Barney he will probably just keep doing what he has been doing.

I think it is pretty clear that reality and George W. Bush have never been formally introduced.

Another Colorado evangelical is coming out of the closet. They must have huuge closets in Colorado!

In a tearful videotaped message Sunday to his congregation, the senior pastor of a thriving evangelical megachurch in south metro Denver confessed to sexual relations with other men and announced he had voluntarily resigned his pulpit.

A month ago, the Rev. Paul Barnes of Grace Chapel in Doug las County preached to his 2,100-member congregation about integrity and grace in the aftermath of the Ted Haggard drugs-and-gay-sex scandal.

Now, the 54-year-old Barnes joins Haggard as a fallen evangelical minister who preached that homosexuality was a sin but grappled with a hidden life.

It is truly sad watching hypocrisy destroy these peoples lives. But it is for their families that I feel the real empathy. If you are a gay person you should never have to feel that you cannot trust the people who love you with that information. Love should always be unconditional.

Rumsfeld revisits the scene of the crime.

Secretary of Defense Donald H. Rumsfeld, with only days left in office, paid a surprise farewell visit to U.S. troops in Iraq this weekend, telling them the consequences of the war's failure would be "unacceptable."

Unbelievable! You just cannot find anybody with balls this size anymore.

I don't think that history is going to treat Rumsfeld very well. He might be placed in the same category as whichever one of Custer's scouts told him there were only a handful of "injuns" over the next hill.

Tom Delay's now defunct website has been saved and re-published on another blog. The comments section is a "must read".

Didn't we already stick a fork in your ass and decide you're done?
To paraphrase you: You WERE the Federal Government...now you're a nothing.
The fact that you are trying to keep your name alive by starting a stupid blog is actually kind of pathetic and sad.
Please just go away.

December 10, 2006 Unregistered Commenter Meadows

Pure gold!

Iraq takes another step toward becoming a dictatorship again.

Major partners in Iraq's governing coalition are in behind-the-scenes talks to oust Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki amid discontent over his failure to quell raging violence, according to lawmakers involved.

The talks are aimed at forming a new parliamentary bloc that would seek to replace the current government and that would likely exclude supporters of the radical Shiite cleric Muqtada al-Sadr, who is a vehement opponent of the U.S. military presence.

If they succeed in overthrowing Maliki they will only cause more friction between themselves and al-Sadr. What happens next is as obvious as the lies that George Bush tells. The two sides will battle for control and the winner will have no need of a democratic election, he will have siezed power.

This will signal a return to the type of government that most Iraqis have become comfortable with, a dictatorship.

So the only questions that remain are who will be the new Saddam Hussein in Iraq, and how much will he hate America?

There is evidence of evolution occurring just 3,000 years ago. Suck on that Falwell!

A surprisingly recent instance of human evolution has been detected among the peoples of East Africa. It is the ability to digest milk in adulthood, conferred by genetic changes that occurred as recently as 3,000 years ago, a team of geneticists has found.

The finding is a striking example of a cultural practice — the raising of dairy cattle — feeding back into the human genome. It also seems to be one of the first instances of convergent human evolution to be documented at the genetic level. Convergent evolution refers to two or more populations acquiring the same trait independently.

Throughout most of human history, the ability to digest lactose, the principal sugar of milk, has been switched off after weaning because there is no further need for the lactase enzyme that breaks the sugar apart. But when cattle were first domesticated 9,000 years ago and people later started to consume their milk as well as their meat, natural selection would have favored anyone with a mutation that kept the lactase gene switched on.

And this is why thinking consumers choose evolution over creationism. Because creationism is old and moldy and evolution is ever changing and, oh what's the word for it? Oh yeah, evolving.

It is like rubbing your clothes against river rocks to get them clean or tossing your tye dye t-shirts into a front loading washer with the newest possible detergent. It just makes more sense.

Some of our Alaskan Republicans are in deep doo-doo.

The subpoena appears to document a widening of the federal corruption investigation in Alaska, which burst into public view in August with dramatic raids of the offices of six legislators, including Ben Stevens. Agents returned to search Stevens' offices Sept. 18.

On Wednesday, a federal grand jury indicted Rep. Tom Anderson, R-Anchorage, on seven counts charging extortion, bribery, conspiracy and money laundering. The charges describe a scheme in which money was allegedly funneled to Anderson through a shell company in 2004 in exchange for actions he took as a legislator to benefit a private prison company. He pleaded not guilty Friday.

Caught with their hands in the cookie jar. I am guessing that we will see a number of prominent Alaskan Republicans getting their hands slapped. Or hopefully getting slapped into handcuffs.

On the other hand our new Republican governor is attracting a completely different kind of attention.

"Alaska -- The coldest state with the hottest governor.'' I kind of like that.

Do I really have to be this entertaining?

Now, you can play it safe along with music! A scientist has come up with musical condoms that apart from being a contraceptive gives you the opportunity play you own tone that gets louder as the sex gets more vigorous.

Different lovemaking positions determine what tune is played by the condom, which also works like a normal contraceptive.The rubber has tiny sensors connected to a mini electronic device that produces the sounds.

You know if I am giving you the sexual experience of a lifetime you would think that would be enough. But nooo! Now I have to play you a fucking song as well!

This is just too much pressure. I mean what if my dick is tone deaf?

(I cannot help but wonder what an orgy would sound like though. Because I am sort of twisted that way.)

Freedom is on the march! No not in Iraq, here in America!

A coalition of organizations in support of the impeachment and removal from office of President Bush and Vice President Cheney will hold forums, rallies, and other events in towns and cities across the United States on Sunday, December 10, Human Rights Day. A forum in New York City will kick things off on Saturday, December 9.

The purpose of the events is to organize people to lobby their Congress Members for investigations and impeachment and to lobby their local and state governments for resolutions in support of impeachment. Dozens of cities have already passed such resolutions.

I know that there are many people who just don't want to address this possible scenario, and I myself often have mixed feelings, but is there really any other choice here?

Bush is not going to change any of his policies as long as he is the President. That is just a fact!

The only way to really start the healing process here and around the world is to remove the cancer which has so sickened this great nation. And that cancer is George Bush and Dick Cheney.

The White House website has this year's "Barney Holiday Extravaganza". Here is almost ten minutes of your life that you will never get back.

This is from the tanscript of he video.

Tony Snow: Barney, good to see you, man! Happy Christmas. Ready for the Holidays? Got everything all bought? (Tony hangs his coat on the back of the door.) Hey look, just one little piece of business. I know you’re doing a show. (Barney reading blueprints.) Show’s a good thing, it’s great. I’m really happy you’re doing it, but I’ve got one little bone to pick. Don’t mind if I say that, do you? You can’t have the press room, OK? It will really tick them off!

Yeah having a dog throw a party in the press room is what pisses off the reporters. It is not the constant bullshit that they have to sift through day after day in an attempt to find just one kernel of truth from these lying bastards!

So does the White Hosue really think that spending a couple of hundred thousand dollars on some slick Christmas card to America is going to make us all forget that our fellow Americans are dying in Iraq for a lie? Do they still think we are that fucking simple?

Actually I kind of like the dog. Maybe they should let him run the country for a while. I mean does anybody think he could do any worse?

How do you know that Alaska is a magical place? Because this is where Santa lives, Beeyotch!

So letters sent to the roly-poly icon always find their way to the small town of North Pole deep in Alaska's interior, including those simply addressed to Santa. Last year 120,000 letters arrived from 26 countries, not counting the thousands with no return address. Those that do have return addresses usually get a reply and a North Pole postmark in a holiday effort that has delighted children all over the world for more than five decades.

Letters trickle in year round at the community of 1,600, where light poles are curved and striped like candy canes and streets have names like Santa Claus Lane and Kris Kringle Drive. Then, around Thanksgiving, they start pouring in by the thousands each day as Christmas approaches. Even stampless letters get through, a rare exception for the U.S. Postal Service.

"This is special because it has Santa's name on it," said Debra Cornelius, a supervisor at the main post office in the nearby city of Fairbanks. This is where the Santa letters are processed during the holiday rush.

I am still unconvinced about that God fellow, but Santa is clearly the real deal.

Besides I saw him riding his bike down the street just the other day. And I had not even been drinking!

Stephen Colbert's "Truthiness" named word of the year.

"Truthiness" was credited to Comedy Central satirist Stephen Colbert, who defined it as "truth that comes from the gut, not books."

"We're at a point where what constitutes truth is a question on a lot of people's minds, and truth has become up for grabs," said Merriam-Webster president John Morse. "`Truthiness' is a playful way for us to think about a very important issue."

Stephen Colbert is taking over the world! He is quite literally EVERYWHERE!

Cambodian prostitutes sell sex for $1.20. The downside? They might stab your ass.

Koam Roeuy said Suon Da had paid Sa Rida $1.20 to have sex with her. But after Suon Da repeatedly refused to wear a condom, Sa Rida gave up and left the room.

Suon Da chased after her, demanding his money back and slapping the woman, Koam Roeuy said. Sa Rida responded by stabbing Suon Da in the stomach, he said.

Really? $1.20 for sex?

You know the last time I ended up paying for sex it cost me almost $30,000.00 and the bitch took some of the furniture too! Of course they call that marriage, which is the oldest form of prostitution on the planet.

Republican Senator suggests that Bush's war may be criminal. No I did not make a mistake, I said "Republican" Senator!

Oregon Sen. Gordon Smith, a Republican who voted in favor of the Iraq war in 2002 and has supported it ever since, now says the current U.S. war effort is "absurd" and "may even be criminal."

In an emotional speech on the Senate floor Thursday night, Smith called for changes in U.S. policy that could include rapid pullouts of U.S. troops from Iraq. He said he never would have voted for the conflict if he had known the intelligence that President Bush gave the American people was inaccurate.

"I for one am at the end of my rope when it comes to supporting a policy that has our soldiers patrolling the same streets in the same way, being blown up by the same bombs day after day," Smith said. "That is absurd. It may even be criminal. I cannot support that anymore. ... So either we clear and hold and build, or let's go home."

I would have been so much more impressed by this statement if this guy would have had the guts to say it before the election.

Pimp daddy four year old gets suspended for feeling up teacher. What is wrong with these people?

A four-year-old hugged his teachers aide and was put into in-school suspension, according to the father. But La Vega school administrators have a different story.

Damarcus Blackwell's four-year-old son was lining-up to get on the bus after school last month, when he was accused of rubbing his face in the chest of a female employee.

The prinicipal of La Vega Primary School sent a letter to the Blackwells that said the pre-kindergartener demonstrated "inappropriate physical behavior interpreted as sexual contact and/or sexual harassment."

You know if I was attending school right now I would have a rap sheet a mile long before I was in the third grade.

Children do not know where the boundaries are until they are explained to them. Can you imagine how this young child will now interpret hugs? I weep for his love life.

It is nice to finally see somebody combine the commercialism of Christmas with its religious roots.

I like it!

It makes me feel all festive and Christmassy!

Fraternity files lawsuit against University of Georgia because the school will not let them practice religious intolerance. How dare they?

A Christian fraternity filed a federal civil rights lawsuit against the University of Georgia and the Board of Regents Wednesday, claiming UGA refuses to recognize the organization because it requires all its members and officers to be Christians.

The fraternity requires its officers and members to pledge their belief in Jesus Christ to participate.

Christians apparently don't mind an activist judges if he rules on their side of an issue.

Florida better watch out, it looks like Georgia is trying to steal their "we are the dumbest state ever" thunder.

In Cobb County, Georgia you don't just get off with being arrested, then you have to suffer through receiving nude pictures from the cop. Eeew!

Officer Roy Collar was suspended from the county police department’s DUI Task Force after officials received a complaint that he sent a photo of his genitals to a woman he arrested on DUI-related charges.

After getting a look at this homely bastards face I have to say that getting a picture of his package may be the lesser of two evils.

My daughter lives in Cobb County. I am going to suggest that she not break the law. The punishment is just too stiff. ("Stiff" get it? I crack myself up.)

Quotes from American soldiers in reaction to the Iraq Study Group report.

"We've been here for 12 months now and there's been no progress," said Spc. Richard Johnson, 20, of Bridgeport, Conn., as he manned a machine gun on the rooftop of an outpost ringed by a shallow moat of sewage.

"It's like holding a child's hand. How long can you hold onto his hand before he does something on his own?" Johnson said. "How much longer do we have to get shot at or blown up?"

"In Iraq, we try to win the hearts and minds of population," said Dow, 32, of Chicago. "They want Americans out of here. They blame us for all their problems. They look at us as the terrorists and then they turn around and help the terrorists who are trying to kill us."

"The Iraqi army is getting there," he said. "But they are still not where they need to be and I doubt they will be by then. Too many times, they are in a selfish state of mind. Too often they are along for the ride while we do the work for them."

"They are only going to do the right thing if someone's watching and they know they will be punished if they don't," he said. "That's not every soldier. I have met some great guys, but it is a lot of them. They don't care, and this is their country."

Asked if he was frustrated with the situation in Ramadi, he replied: "That doesn't cover it."

"U.S. soldiers are dying trying to help people who don't want their help," he said. "That makes you angry."

"We're just sitting around not making any progress. It's annoying. You're not motivated to help anybody," he said, adding his contract was up in 2008 and he did not plan to re-enlist.

"I don't want to live my life like this," he said.

Heart broken yet?

(I must give a head nod to two great sites from which I borrowed this news item. The always relevant Crooks and Liars and the great Daily Kos.)

Coming as no surprise the Iraq Study Group finds that the Pentagon underreported the violence in Iraq.

U.S. military and intelligence officials have systematically underreported the violence in
Iraq in order to suit the Bush administration's policy goals, the bipartisan Iraq Study Group said.

In its report on ways to improve the U.S. approach to stabilizing Iraq, the group recommended Wednesday that the director of national intelligence and the secretary of defense make changes in the collection of data about violence to provide a more accurate picture.

The panel pointed to one day last July when U.S. officials reported 93 attacks or significant acts of violence. "Yet a careful review of the reports for that single day brought to light 1,100 acts of violence," it said.

Is our country done being lied to by our government yet? have you all had about enough?

This government regularly blamed the media for not reporting the "good news" out of Iraq while engaging in a campaign to hide the truth from the people who they supposedly work for. These assholes are our employees! They do not get to lie to us and get away with it!

It is time to clean house. I certainly hope the new Democratic Congress is up to it.

Christian school allows dancing for first time in its 87 year history. Stay tuned for the upsurge in teen pregnancies.

Students at John Brown University are swinging in a new era since the 87-year-old Christian school decided to allow dancing on campus.

The new policy allows school-sponsored dances that are structured styles of movement, such as square, folk, salsa, line, waltz, swing and ballroom. The university still forbids impromptu dancing, dance-parties in dorm rooms and freestyle dancing on campus.

Every good Christian knows that dancing releases the demons which then make young people think only of sex until they either get knocked up or die of AIDS.

Its in the bible!

Okay I may be slightly prejudiced against Christian schools.

Australian scientists say don't bother dieting during Christmas Fat-ass, you are just going to fail anyhow. Australians have scientists?

One in four Australians intend to be on a diet over the Christmas festive period, but new research shows most don't know what they're taking on.

This is only true for Australians. And that is just because deep fat fried kangaroo is so bloody fattening.

Americans can totally stay on their diet due to the fact that we are genetically superior.

Dick Cheney's gay daughter is knocked up! Turkey baster demands paternity test.

Mary Cheney, the openly gay daughter of Vice President Dick Cheney and his wife, Lynne, is pregnant.

Mary Cheney, 37, and her partner of 15 years, Heather Poe, 45, are expecting a baby, said Lea Anne McBride, a spokeswoman for the vice president. The baby is due in late spring.

You know Mary Cheney should get married so that her kid does not get teased for being a bastard. I mean it is bad enough that he has to go through life being related to Dick "Mephistopheles" Cheney.

Too bad her dad hates the gays.

Bush receives the "Iraq Report of Obviousness".

A commission on the war in Iraq recommended new and enhanced diplomacy Wednesday so the United States can "begin to move its combat forces" out of the country responsibly.

"The situation in Iraq is grave and deteriorating," the commission warned after an eight-month review of a conflict that has killed more than 2,800 U.S. troops and grown increasingly unpopular at home. The report was obtained by The Associated Press.

The report warned that if the situation continues to deteriorate, there is a risk of a "slide toward chaos (that) could trigger the collapse of Iraq's government and a humanitarian catastrophe."

You will notice that George can barely hold the report for long because the power of truth burns the flesh from his evil hands.

President Bush received the report in an early morning meeting at the White House with commission members, and pledged to treat each proposal seriously and act in a "timely fashion." He was flanked by the commission's co-chairmen, former Secretary of State James A. Baker III, and former Rep. Lee Hamilton.

When the cameras leave the room you can bet that Bush hands this vile report to Cheney and tells him to throw it in the fires of Mordor. "Let no one read the words that dare disagree with my holy crusade. So sayeth your lord, me."

Farts on a plane!

Flatulence brought 99 passengers on an American Airlines flight to an unscheduled visit to Nashville early Monday morning.

American Flight 1053, from Washington Reagan National Airport and bound for Dallas/Fort Worth, made an emergency landing here after passengers reported smelling struck matches, said Lynne Lowrance, a spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport Authority.

The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches in an attempt to conceal body odor, Lowrance said. The woman lives near Dallas and has a medical condition.

You know I do not even care about this story I just could not resist the headline.

There may be something truly wrong with me.

Still it is a sad world where we have to choose to endure the smell of disgusting flatulence because if we dare light a match we will miss our connecting flight.

Here is a video of a couple role playing Bush screwing America. NSFW!

This is both naughty and hysterical. So you just know I have to post a link.

My neighbors are boring.

More than just the gloves have come off in a stoush between the owners of a Wellington strip bar and nearby residents who claim they can see "dancing naked women" through the windows.

Santa Fe lap dancing bar opened new premises on the corner of Dixon and Eva streets this month, but residents of the Robert Hannah Apartments are not impressed with their new view.

Body corporate manager Joe Dowrick said he was approached by fellow residents who claimed they saw "naked pole-dancers" through the club's main Dixon St window on Friday night. "They could see the strippers in action from the street," he said.

I don't make it a habit to look through the windows of my neighbors.

However there is a lady down the street who, shall we say, has a lot of "junk in her trunk". Anyhow she insists upon wearing short shorts and then bending over to weed her garden in full view of my house. This unfortunate sight has caused me more then one bout of hysterical blindness.

All in all I would trade with the people who have the strippers for neighbors.

Media person of the year for 2006 is Stephen Colbert.

Stephen Colbert, the host of "The Colbert Report" on Comedy Central, is the 2006 Media Person of the Year, according to the annual online poll held by I Want Media.

The popularity of Colbert's spot-on, satirical cable-news pundit character already led him to be honored as of one of Time magazine's 100 most influential people in 2006. The Comedy Central star sent shock waves through the news media early in the year when he keynoted the White House Correspondents' Association dinner and skewered President Bush to his face: "I believe in this president. Guys like us ... know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in 'reality.' And reality has a well-known liberal bias."

Colbert's routine "unplugged the Bush myth machine -- and left the clueless D.C. press corps gaping," wrote Michael Scherer of Salon.com. A clip of Colbert's speech instantly became a viral video hit on the Web. New York Times columnist Frank Rich later described Colbert's performance as the "defining moment" of the 2006 midterm elections.

I loved that performance at the White House Correspondents dinner! It may go down in history as perhaps the gutsiest performance in the history of satire.

Colbert, Stewart, and Olbermann are definitely changing the way we get our news, and it can really only make it better.

Comedy Central is rapidly turning into "must see tv".

Comedy Central has ordered "Lil' Bush: Resident of the United States," a cartoon satire that re-imagines President Bush and key executives in his administration as elementary school misfits.

The title character is surrounded by close pals like Lil' Cheney, who grumbles unintelligibly, and Lil' Condi, who pines for Lil' Bush and does his homework for him.

Oooh this sounds good.

I already have to watch Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert every night before going to sleep. And now I may have to make room in my evening to watch this show as well. I may have to give up working to make room in my schedule.

There is something horribly wrong with English women!

Simon Cowell has been voted a winner — by women who say they fantasise about him while making love to their partners.

Cowell, 47, came second to 007 star Daniel Craig in an internet poll on dream men.

The rest of the top ten were: 3 Jesse Metcalfe, 4 David Beckham, 5 Brad Pitt, 6 Mark Owen, 7 Leonardo DiCaprio, 8 Richard Madeley, 9 Robbie Williams and 10 Will Young.

Brad Pitt is number five! And Simon Cowell is number two! What is wrong with British women?

I mean I would fuck Brad Pitt! You know if I were into that sort of thing....which I am not...really!

Could you imagine what Cowell is like in bed?

"Do you call that sex! I have seen crippled tortoises with more energy then you are demonstrating. You are just not showing that certain star potential. I am not trying to be mean but you are bloody awful!"

Bolton resigns from UN!

Unable to win Senate confirmation, U.N. Ambassador John Bolton will step down when his temporary appointment expires within weeks, the White House said Monday.

Bolton's nomination has languished in the Senate Foreign Relations Committee for more than a year, blocked by Democrats and several Republicans. Sen. Lincoln Chafee, a moderate Republican who lost in the midterm elections Nov. 7 that swept Democrats to power in both houses of Congress, was adamantly opposed to Bolton.

First Rumsfeld, now Bolton.

It is starting off to be a very good year for the Democrats and America. I just hope it continues.

Ken Starr, Marijuana, and Jesus, only in Alaska could these things all be connected.

The Supreme Court entered into a free-speech dispute Friday involving a high school student suspended over a "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" banner.

The justices accepted an appeal from a school board in Juneau, Alaska, after a federal appeals court allowed a lawsuit by the family of Joseph Frederick to proceed.

Frederick was suspended in 2002 after he unfurled the 14-foot-long banner -- a reference to marijuana use -- just outside school grounds as the Olympic torch relay moved through the Alaskan capital headed for the Winter Games in Salt Lake City, Utah.

I am not a drug user, and am not terribly sympathetic to the lifestyle, but come on this is ridiculous! The kid was not even on school property!

But what makes this thing even more surreal is who the school board has chosen to represent their side of the case.

Attorney Kenneth Starr, the former Whitewater prosecutor who investigated President Clinton's relationship with White House intern Monica Lewinsky, is representing the school board.

I mean how can you have a circus without a clown?