Happy Saturnalia!

I actually typically have no problem wishing people a Merry Christmas.

But since Trump decided to brag about bringing Christmas back, I simply had to defy that orange tinted, anus mouthed, POS.

Besides of course Saturnalia was the true holiday before those uptight Christians hijacked it in order to spread their capitalist religion around the world.

And it might never have taken off quite as well if Clement Clarke Moore had not written that poem in 1823, and Coca Cola had not altered the look of St. Nick from this rather grim looking fellow...

....into this jolly elf.

Oh well, stolen celebrations, reinvented historical figures, evil capitalist underpinnings, what does it really matter if we are celebrating with loved ones and taking this opportunity to share our bounty
with the less fortunate?

I love this holiday, and hope that you and yours have a wonderful day. 

During his visit the Saudis bribed Donald Trump with 1.2 billion in gifts.

Courtesy of The Nation: 

During his first visit to kingdom, US President Donald Trump received gifts from Saudi King Shah Salman worth of $ 1.2 billion, reported Nawa-e-Waqt. 

According to details, the gifts given by Saudi King included a precious diamond, armband made of pure gold with King Salman’s photo imprinted on it and 25 kilogram heavy sword made of pure gold with different diamonds and stones on it. 

The sword is worth of $ 200 million. 

Furthermore, gold and diamond made watches, worth of $ 200 million, were also gifted to Trump and his family.

 A small replica of Statue of Liberty but made with gold, diamond and precious stones will also be sent to White House soon. 

Meanwhile, one of the major roads in Riyadh has also been named after Trump. 

A 125 meter long yacht, which is world’s tallest personal yacht as it has 80 rooms with 20 royal suits, will also be sent through US navy to America.

As pointed out by The Nation no other US President has ever been given such lavish gifts.

And if they had they would likely have refused them, or accepted them only on behalf of the American people and then surrendered them to the government. Because you know, they're illegal.

We have not heard exactly what became of THESE particular gifts yet, but if we know Trump he will not give them up willingly.

Of course let's not forget that with his son-in-law's help Trump also negotiated an almost 110 billion dollar arms deal with the Saudis as well.

So it looks like Piper got herself a pig. Considering that her name is Piper Indy Grace that might not have been the best choice.

Courtesy of Bristol's Instagram account:

Pipe just loves her new pig

According to Willow it appears that the pig is a gift from Dakota.

#repost of mine and @piper.p 's NEW BABY! 😍😍😍😍 thanks @dakotameyer0317 😉 #PenelopeThePig

So does that mean that there is a possible reconciliation in the future between Dakota and Bristol?

Considering that she was a no show at his family's picnic and just drove all across the country in order to retrieve her crap that seems pretty unlikely. So perhaps it's just that certain members of the family are not as pissed off at Dakota as other members of the family.

Hmm, well that could be interesting.

P.S. By the way let's keep ugly comments about Piper to a minimum shall we?

After all I have more important things to do today other then rejecting dozens of your nasty remarks.

She's a child, and she has really done nothing to earn our disdain.

Why do people keep giving this lunatic guns?

Courtesy of some gun nut's Facebook page:  

Sarah Palin from her home in Alaska with her new Glock 17 that has been customized by TMT Tactical.

TMT Tactical is the owner of the Facebook page.

Trust me one of the very last people on this planet who should have a gun is Sarah Palin.

With her history of roller coaster mood swings, and substance abuse, she presents a danger to herself and everybody around her.

"Duck Trig, duck!"

Just in time for Saturnalia. The Sarah Palin gold medallion.

Courtesy of Alaska Mint:  

This Bronze medallion honors Alaska's Sarah Palin. As Alaska's first woman Governor, she had a reputation of being against "business as usual". She was thrust into the national spotlight when she was chosen to be John McCain's vice presidential running mate. A donation from the sale of these medallions will be made to Wounded Warrior Project, helping seriously injured service members. (You know, after Palin gets her cut that is.)


This item goes for $24.99 and is one of many to choose from. Including the 2012 version.

 I take it this was from back when Palin was still teasing the ignorant that she might run against Obama in 2012. Which the more intelligent among us knew was mooseshit right at the start.

There are some in the collection that are more expensive like this one for a cool $134.00.

How anybody can justify blowing over a hundred dollars on Sarah Palin medallion/coin is beyond me. Especially considering the fact that if history is any indication it will rapidly go down in value, or prestige, right along with everything else with which her name has been associated.

Right John McCain?

P.S. You know they keep referring to this as a "medallion" because it is not legal tender and was not officially minted by the United States, so it cannot be called a coin. Though it does resemble one.

If it WERE a coin it might be the first one in which you could not win a coin toss. Because, as with everything having to do with Sarah Palin, heads you lose, and tails you lose.

"Hey children of Wisconsin, why selfishly demand toys from your parents this Christmas when instead you could use that money to support Scott Walker's reelection campaign?"

Courtesy of Think Progress:

 Last week, Walker’s campaign sent an email encouraging supporters not to buy gifts for their children and to use that money instead to support his reelection effort. 

“Instead of electronics or toys that will undoubtedly be outdated, broken, or lost by the next Holiday Season, help give your children the gift of a Wisconsin that we can all be proud of,” the email read. 

Here is the email in full:

 Wow! And here I thought I had seen just about everything!

"Hey kids, this Christmas instead of those silly toys you get to help support the corrupt Teabagger Governor who crushed the unions and helped destroyed your daddy's chance at employment."

Have these people ever heard of the term "patricide?"

Do you think you are done shopping for your daughter this Christmas? Perhaps not.

I think this is a marvelous idea, and so late in coming.

My daughter truly disliked the dollhouses, and Barbie's my mother gave her as gifts, but after I bought her Star Wars figures and Lego's she would not stop playing with them. In fact THAT fueled her desire to create set designs, and to make movies, which is what she does now.

I think we now realize that teaching little girls to be princesses, housewives, and mommies is outdated. But a present that teaches them that they can be ANYTHING, now that is a gift worth giving.

Some shirts my daughter bought me for Christmas. WTF?

Apparently my daughter  believes her father is a 12 year old boy.

That might explain why she just looks at me when I tell her to clean her room. Even though I am not afraid to be firm.

"If you have not started to clean your room by the time I finish my juice box, I will NOT play Mario Kart with you!"

Tough love, don't be afraid to use it.

(You have to admit that Captain America shirt is pretty cool though, right?)

A Christmas day follow up.

I just thought I would give all of you a little update on my Christmas. (Assuming of course that anybody cares.)

Anyhow we had a great time. (In other words there were NO stabbings.)

The spinach dip was a huge hit, as always. And we all ate WAY too much food, drank too much wine, and followed that up with my mother's apple pie, which NONE of us really needed. (I just finished my workout, but it will take several more to work off that damn pie.)

My brother and I exchanged the traditional $50 Best Buy gift cards (I really don't know why we bother every year.), and other gift cards were scattered among the cousins, nieces, and nephews.

My mother cried when she opened the I-Pad my brother and I had purchased for her. That was a little unsettling as my mother rarely cries. She kept saying it was too much, but since, against all advice to the contrary, she refused to abandon us in the woods when we were little and helpless, NOTHING is too much for her.

Afterward my brother and I spent almost an hour and a half trying to set it up for her, since she did not have an I-Tunes account.

Then for some reason I-Tunes would not load properly on her computer, but my brother and I eventually worked through it as my daughter heckled us from the other room claiming that if we would have just swallowed our pride and let her, or one of her cousins do it, Mom would have been gleefully using her I-Pad an hour ago. (My brother and I were NOT to proud. We did not let them try for fear they were right. Totally different.)

Speaking of my daughter, she had decided to open her gift at my Mom's rather than at our house (Bigger audience in case  I screwed it up), and really loved her new camera. She gushed over all of it's bells and whistles, and started to describe them to me is if she was trying to sell ME the camera.  Then she found that it came with two lenses and she was just over the moon with happiness.

(I am only guessing of course, but I think I done good.)

After the opening of the gifts it was time for the insults to fly, and embarrassing family stories, to be told, but everyone was in such a good mood over their gifts that nobody had very much venom at their disposal. (Personally I was disappointed at the lot of them.)

Essentially it was a pretty great Christmas, as indicated by the fact that everybody in family is completely fucking spoiled.

But what can I say?  I love them.

I mean somebody has to, right?

The natural exercise progression from the "Shake Weight." NSFW.

Okay I am posting this solely because I stumbled across it on Reddit several hours ago and have STILL not stopped laughing. However let me warn you that if you are at work, or around people with a poorly developed sense of humor, you might want to skip watching this. There is no nudity, or inappropriate language, but...well you'll see.

I don't know who is responsible for the creation of this fake commercial, but oh my God it is awesome!

If you are unfamiliar with the Shake Weight you can learn more about it here. (Might be a tad NSFW as well, by the way.)