That soldier of misfortune in the "War on Christmas" Sarah Palin pimps her unsellable book from last year. Which now you can buy on Amazon for one penny. Update!

"Oh God, please buy this book. I have so many losers to support back at home."

Well it's that time of year again folks.

The kids are off for winter break, the tree is decorated and running up our electric bill, the holiday classics are on every channel, and Sarah Palin is bitching about the Atheists trying to murder the baby Jesus with a candy cane.

Having already been caught shaking her flat ass for a ride out to oblivion, Palin has now shifted her focus to selling some of those books that nobody seemed to want last year.

Toward that end Palin has created a few videos and posted them on her own Sarah Palin Channel, because of course THAT is where to go for that as yet untapped market. (Okay there might be a flaw in this plan.)

In this video Palin describes how great Christmas is, and what assholes Atheists are for trying to take it away from people, while also discussing the recipes contained within including moose chili (WTF?), blueberry pie, and of course the extremely complicated to prepare Rice Krispie treats.

Courtesy of Raw Story: 

Former half-term Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin, spoke of recipes and family holiday get-togethers while noting that her viewers shouldn’t let “a few angry atheists with attorneys” get in the way of celebrating the birth of Christ. 

“Oh, I am so excited for people to get to read this Christmas book, while protecting the heart of Christmas and not allowing the Scrooges out there to take Christ out of Christmas, or to erode any of the tradition we celebrate during the Christmas season,” she explained. “It’s called ‘Good Tidings and Great Joy: Protecting the Heart of Christmas’.” 

She continued to discuss “what we believe in at this time of year,” before returning, once again, to her book. 

“What we believe in is freedom of expressing our faith and what our beliefs are, not allowing just a few angry atheists with attorneys perhaps to tell us that we can’t celebrate the birth of Christ the way that we would like to,” she said. “And it’s not an in-your-face political lecture, it’s a fun book that incorporates the solution to the challenge that is the war on Christmas that we see taking place right now.” 

Palin went on to say that she believes the book will “hopefully will spark some inspiration in other people to allow them, no matter what faith anyone is, allow them some Christmas joy to spread.” 

She also promises that the book features her recipe for her moose chili (“I’m kind famous for my moose chili”) as well as rice krispie treats and blue-berry pies, saying her family has to “compete” with native Alaskan bears to harvest the berries first.

Raw Story goes on to point out that those who actually want to buy this ridiculous book can get a used one on Amazon for a penny.  (Still overpriced in my opinion.)

If you watch the video you will see a shot of Palin getting some frozen meat out of her dented freezer while holding a sleeping Trig, who suddenly comes to life and starts squirming after he realizes who is holding him.

The entire video has Palin using that fake syrupy voice of her's. But if you think that is bad then you have to see this one where she talks about sending John McCain a Christmas card.

Transcript courtesy of Wonkette:  

Yes, John McCain does get a Christmas card, and he gets a note of appreciation for recognizing that there was someone way up in the Last Frontier who had a desire to serve this country. I still appreciate John McCain for that, and I thank him for that. Yeah, John McCain’s on my Christmas card list, heck yeah. 

Okay did that sound really creepy to anybody else?

Wonkette features another video where Palin brags that the only thing she ever gets Todd for Christmas is a fifty dollar gas card and that it is enough to make him happy. (Oh yeah, Todd looks like a happy guy doesn't he?)

Damn I have to imagine that the idiots that actually paid the subscription fee for the Sarah Palin Channel are kicking themselves right about now.

Not only is there rarely any content, but when there is it is trying to sell them books that they already bought a long time ago.

I can hardly wait to find out how far she sinks in the Alexa ratings this next year.

Update: Apparently Palin also sent out a tweet yesterday giving the Duck Dynasty disphits a much more appropriate name.

The tweet has now been fixed, but not before those pesky liberals too the screen shot above.

Conservatives 4 Palin might be a dying website in America, but the Kiwis LOVE them!

Okay for the record I actually NEVER visit C4P these days, as they stopped being relevant about four years ago.

However somebody recently sent me some links which I found kinda interesting.

As you all know there is a site called Alexa which analyzes website traffic and ranks them based on popularity.

I also never visit there myself because according to my therapist constantly seeking validation by checking a website ranking your blog is "A cry for help Jesse."

Anyhow based on an e-mail I received I went ahead and visited Alexa to check out the rankings for C4P. And what I found there was a little strange to say the least.

As you can see the vast majority of the internet traffic going to C4P comes from New Zealand of all places.

They are ranked only 175,754 in America but a rather incredible 1,521 in New Zealand.

By contrast the Sarah Palin Channel is ranked 162,949 in the US and 61.3% of their traffic comes from America. Which seems about right.

Soooo, what explains the fact that C4P has so many Kiwi visitors?

Is this fake internet traffic that was purchased by C4P? Is there a glitch in Alexa's algorithm? Or is it possible that Palin is wasting her time in North America and should take that 15 hour flight to the self proclaimed "God Zone" where she could apparently reign as queen?

I
But if they DID buy visitors off of the internet, why did they buy so few that they still only rank 306,239 globally? That's not going to impress anybody.

Yep, it's a mystery alright.

By the way for those who are curious this is how IM ranks over at Alexa.

Not bad, not bad at all.