I need one of these.

If I get one I'm going to wear it when my brother comes over on Superbowl day.

He is always pissed that I not only have not picked which team to support, but I often don't even know who is playing.

If he cops and attitude I just remind him that I am the only one of us to actually play on a football team. That usually shuts him up.

Happy Super Bowl Day!

Do you know what I love about Superbowl Sunday?

It is just about the ONLY American religious holiday that I can participate in without reservation.

Oh sure I'm worried about concussions, and the long term physical effects that the game has on the athletes, but not nearly enough to let it diminish in any way the taste of my special Superbowl nacho and guacamole platter. Yum, yum!

My brother is coming over later today and we will engage in our usual Superbowl ritual of him blaming me for everything that went wrong in his life, and my telling him that he was adopted.

Then at some point we will have our usual argument about whose fault it is that our parents got divorced and we will finish up the day with him in a headlock and my telling him that being an inch and half taller is no compensation for having an ingrown penis.

Ahh, good times!

I am not going to tell any of you who to root for, but you should be aware that the Ravens are going to win. I tell you this to you with the casual confidence of somebody who just learned three days ago who was even playing this year, and who chose the Ravens simply because he learned that the 49ers are homophobic. Good enough for me, go Ravens!

Okay so I don't pay attention to football all that much, sue me.

Besides we all know why MOST of you will be tuning in anyhow, don't we?

And of course it can't be the Superbowl without at least ONE controversial ad, right? Ooh, the line up looks good this year.

One of the few religious holidays I observe. The Superbowl!

Thank God there's nothing phallic about this!

Good morning sports fans!

I hope that you are prepared for today's festivities.

Got your cold beer?

The  big sandwich?

Some hot wings?

Kids duct taped to the walls of their bedroom?

Well then you my friend are ready to sit back and enjoy America's favorite pastime that you can do with your clothes on.  (Or off, we don't judge here.)

I actually don't watch football, ever, but I DO watch the Superbowl every year for the same reason that everybody else does. Because I am a hapless victim of marketing.

Today will be the tenth year of the Gryphen family tradition where my brother comes over to eat my food, laugh at the fact that I once again do not know who is playing, and to clog at least one of my toilets. 

We actually never spend any time together except holidays and Superbowl Sunday so this will be kind of special.

Why don't we spend any time together? If you met him you would not have to ask.

I'm kidding, he 's a great guy. From a distance.

Anyhow to start the day off right I thought I would provide a few fun facts courtesy of Beacon Hill Patch:

Five Fun Facts About the Super Bowl 

1. This year, a 30-second commercial costs $3.5 million, up $400,000 from last year, according to Superbowl-ads.com. 

2. Football fans are anticipated to consume an estimated 71.4 million pounds of Hass avocadosduring Big Game gatherings this year, according to the Hass Avocado Board. 

3. If you still think the 1983 season finale of M*A*S*H was the most-watched broadcast in the U.S., think again. The 2010 Super Bowl between the New Orleans Saints and Indianapolis Colts stole that title, only to be beaten exactly one year later when 111 million people tuned in to watch the 2011 Super Bowl between the Green Bay Packers and the Pittsburgh Steelers, according toNielsen Co. Will this year's game top the 2011 record? 

4. Heading into the game, The New York Giants have three Super Bowl titles (XXI in 1986, XXVin 1990, and XLII in 2007). They also have four titles in the pre-Super Bowl era: 1927, 1934, 1938, 1956). 

5. On the other hand, The New England Patriots have also won three Super Bowl championships (XXXVI in 2001, XXXVIII in 2003, and XXXIX in 2004). 

Wasn't that fascinating? Yeah I didn't think so either.

To be honest I really watch the game for the commercials. And no that is not unmanly of me.

So here is a peek at one of those just to whet your appetite. 

Now see THAT is entertaining.

Anyhow I hope you have a great day, and really enjoy watching the (team name you're rooting for here) demolish the (other crappy team who has no business even being in the Superbowl here.)


I will do a little blogging today, but not much or else my brother bitches that I am ignoring him and tells mom on me. Such a narc!