In wake of Duggar sex scandal TLC decides to broadcast a commercial free "special" on sexual abuse. Yep, that should make everything all better.

Courtesy of People:  

The network decided to put together the special, titled Breaking the Silence, after it was reported in May that Josh Duggar had molested five underage girls -- including some of his sisters -- when he was a teenager. 

The documentary will air on Sunday, August 30, and sets out to "promote education, raise awareness, and advance the conversation" on child sexual abuse. 

"The one-hour documentary is built around the personal and emotional stories of brave survivors who have found the courage to come forward," the network statement said. 

Added TLC President Marjorie Kaplan that "the goal is to take what has been a difficult and painful experience, and focus that attention on the really critical issue of child protection and child sexual abuse."

Apparently Jessa and Jill Duggar are also going to be part of this program. (Wait I thought they "slept" through their abuse and did not even know it happened to them?)

You know I was all ready to mock the network for too little too late, but then I realized that a network that broadcast reality shows such as "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo," "Kate Plus 8," as well as "Toddlers & Tiaras" might be the perfect place to find victims of sexual abuse and broadcast their stories to the public.

In fact if they wanted to TLC could probably turn this into a full time thing, as I imagine there is really no bottom to the well of abuse and human suffering that has been tapped into by their reality shows.

But they won't because, let's face it, people do not tune into these shows to feel the character's pain, they tune in to laugh at their suffering and for the chance to feel superior to somebody on TV.

The Onion jokingly describes TLC plans for replacing "Honey Boo Boo" but I think they are really on to something.

So I don't usually link to the Onion because when dealing with some of the things I write about you really have to struggle to define the line between reality and parody.

However yesterday I saw this amazing faux description of what the TLC producers should be doing in response to the loss of one of their biggest stars.

Take a look: 

Saying that he didn’t “give two shits” if they had to knock on the door of every trailer and halfway house in the country, TLC producer and programming director Mark Livingston reportedly told his staffers Friday that he expects to see a list of at least 100 fucked-up families on his desk by the end of the workday. “We’re up shit creek right now, so I need each one of you assholes rooting through every gutter in the goddamn Ozarks to find me a household of inbreds, addicts, or fat-as-fuck morons that we can put in primetime,” a visibly aggravated Livingston said to his staff following the cancellation of the network’s popular Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, stressing that the new families had better be “borderline brain-dead” and “messed up as all fuck.” “If they have 20 dipshit kids, that’s great. If they only have one greasy dimwit kid who can barely string a sentence together, that’ll work too. Hell, you get me some snarl-toothed family of backwoods idiots who all call their dad Papa Pig or some shit like that, and I’ll sign them immediately. Just find me some family of sewer people I can throw in front of the goddamn camera, got it?” At press time, Livingston was angrily telling his staffers that they could all find a new job wiping asses at the Disney Channel if they brought him one more suggestion for a morbidly obese teen mother.

Okay I'm sorry, I know they might think this is a joke but c'mon we all know who they are describing, right?

And it's not like they have not worked with them before, so they will not have to struggle to learn all of their bizarre names or anything.

And NOW they are even a better fit for TLC now that they have taken to crashing parties and attacking the hosts.

I mean come on, the scripts for the unscripted reality show almost write themselves.

One episode could be all about Track ripping off various articles of clothing before he gets his ass beat by a bunch of "little bitches,"

And another could focus on a highly intoxicated Bristol telling the TLC camera crew about being sexually assaulted by imaginary men, or possibly aliens, and them stealing her expensive accessories. As well as possibly probing her.

Another episode would feature Willow demonstrating her incredible expletive filled vocabulary. "Did you know there are like a hundred and ninety five different variations on saying 'fuck you' to somebody?"

And of course Sarah herself will yelling "Don't film that," and "Stop cussing Track," and of course "I'll buy the film from your camera."

Yep I think it is meant to be.

Conan O'Brien melds Sarah Palin with Honey Boo Boo. What? You mean they AREN'T the same person?

Okay that was pretty funny, but I found the Voldemort/ Anne Hathaway melding truly disturbing. Gonna have nightmares.