Wonkette has more Sarah Palin Channel footage where Palin mythologizes her 2011 faux campaign bus tour as an opportunity for Americans to learn about America.

Click the stupid to play video.

So the folks at Wonkette, thanks to Fartknocker, have some more of that easily mocked Sarah Palin Channel footage.

In their most recent post the video is split into two parts.

In the second Palin tries desperately to think of good things to say about Iowa, but can only come up with patriotism, blue collar people, and butter sculptures.

However in the first video Palin waxes philosophically about her 2011 bus tour (Remember the one where Piper was body checking journalists and complaining they were ruining her vacation.) only now that blatant attempt to trick her handful of supporters into thinking she was serious about a 2012 presidential run has been re-imagined as if it was a "Magic Schoolbus" like educational opportunity for Americans.

You know with Sarah Palin being like a teacher and everything. (Stop giggling, she's serious. I think.)

"We love our road trips. We love our road trips. One of the most fun things our family ever does. We wanted to do a bus tour to see historical sites across America. We didn't even have to tease the tour (Yes you did.), or tease the stops, in fact we didn't even tell reporters where we were going they just literally, physically, followed us in a bus. And we knew that we would bring publicity to all these different historical sites that Todd and I, and the kids, and my parents, and others who came with us, a lot of times they were the first times we had even seen these historical sites so we knew well we're not the only ones across America who haven;t experienced this, so let's bring America along on the ride. And we'll use these doggone reporters to give publicity to the sites that we think Americans should go see. Because it gives you great appreciation for the foundation of the country when you're physically there seeing the birthplace of Lincoln, and Reagan, and the memorials of these..these benchmarks in our nation's history that have put us on the road towards exceptionalism. So being on this bus tour, such a blast. Knowing that reporters didn't know...we made their job fun cause they didn't know where we were going next, they would just follow us and we would show up at say the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C. and we would publicize what it represented and how important it was for other Americans to get to be there. And if they couldn't be there, then live vicariously through us while we were there that day and we'll talk about it and educate America, cause too often, especially our young people, they're not getting that sense, in our schools, of the importance of so many of these historical sites. So it was a blast to be on  bus getting to travel the country to see these places. I would do that again in a heartbeat."

So in Palin's re-imagining of her 2011 bus trip, she was essentially trolling the press and tricking them into reporting about historical landmarks that are so unknown that they receive millions of visits from tourists, and school children, every single year.

Some of you may remember that one of the things that Palin educated America about was Paul Revere's famous ride.

Oh yeah, which made her road trip not so much an educational experience as a gold mine for comics and late night hosts. The best response to that gaffe was from Stephen Colbert who absolutely ran, or in this case rode, with it. (That is still one of he funniest bits I have ever seen in my life.)

Okay here's what I don't quite understand.

If I had an incident in my past where I had failed so spectacularly I would avoid ever mentioning it again. But Palin seems almost unaware that she demonstrated to the world the vastness of her ignorance. And seems instead to believe that she helped to improve our knowledge of these historical sites, and even drove tourists there who had never visited before.

You know marijuana just became legal here in Alaska, but I kind of think this is the result of Palin's total separation from reality that keeps her from realizing that she is a moronic simpleton and NOT a political candidate or self appointed professor of American History.

Sadly for her there are fewer, and fewer people who are ready to board her barge and travel down the river of denial with her.

Sarah Palin's super patriotic passive aggressive 4th of July shout out.

Wearing her "With every step I am disrespecting our flag" shoes.

Courtesy of the red, White, ans Blue moron's Facebook page:

Happy Fourth of July, America! Never forget what Thomas Jefferson called “the Spirit of 1776” – a sentiment rooted in the abiding belief that all men are created equal and desire freedom. Reagan invoked that same spirit in his famous speech “A Time for Choosing” when he urged us not to “abandon the American revolution and confess that a little intellectual elite in a far-distant capitol can plan our lives for us better than we can plan them ourselves.” 

(Translation:  Happy freedom day you small town living patriots, and fuck all of you elite intellectuals who keep fact checking me and pointing out my ignorance for all to see.)

Today and every day, let’s remember the “Spirit of 1776” and celebrate Independence, not government!  

(Translation: "Let's totally celebrate the spirit that formed this great country, but not the government the Founding Fathers came up with to run it.")


May that love of liberty burn in our hearts and renew our commitment to restore and preserve all that is good and strong and true about America. 

 (Translation: And what is good and strong and true in America is that there are certain people who deserve to have rights, and certain others who simply do not. You know who you are!)


 - Sarah Palin (Translation: RAM.)


Palin's ghostwriter also includes a quote from Ron Paul which kind of makes me think she is seriously considering the idea of the Tea Party breaking off and forming its own political party.

Which would, in my estimation, be just about the greatest thing to happen to this country since Paul Revere rode through the streets ringing those bells and warning the British that they weren't going to be taking away our arms.

Okay I know that might confuse a few of you who did NOT sleep through tenth grade history, so here let Stephen Colbert explain exactly how that took place.

By the way I just returned from attending the 4th of July parade downtown where I got the chance to see my Senator. Mark Begich, walking down the street while being greeted by friendly waves from bystanders, and numerous floats promoting diversity and Alaska's commitment to human rights.

It made me very proud of my state, and very proud of my country.

SarahPAC paid $13,708 to decorate Sarah's bus so she could go on a five day vacation. How is that fiscal conservative BS working for ya? Update!

Courtesy of The Note:

Sarah Palin spent almost $14,000 to adorn her “One Nation” tour bus with larger-than-life renditions of the Constitution, Liberty Bell, and her signature.

That’s one of hundreds of expenditures listed in SarahPAC’s semi-annual FEC report, which was filed online today. The former Alaska governor’s political action committee paid $13,708.44 to the Tennessee company Fast Signs for “Bus Wrap” on May 26, three days before her tour of the northeast kicked off.

Unbelievable that the poor, undereducated paint chip eaters that are still dreaming of a Sarah Palin Presidency, spent almost $14,000 to decorate a bus so that their idol (And the only family member that could stand her) could visit tourist attractions for five days, while continuing to play the political prick tease in order to attract the publicity that she so desperately craves.

That is almost $3000 a day!  And what did the Palin-bots GET for their hard earned money?

This:



And of course this. Not to mention this. And really who could forget this? Which of course inevitably led to this.

Well gee that was such a good investment I wonder what else Palin spent her supporter's retirement savings on?

SarahPAC raised $1,658,897 during the first six months of 2011 and spent $1,591,520. The PAC has $1,402,368 cash on hand. In a statement, SarahPAC treasurer Tim Crawford told ABC News that the group “more than doubled the amount we raised as compared to the same time period in 2009. We received more than 36,700 contributions from over 24,000 contributors.”

Among SarahPAC’s other noteworthy disbursements:

-- $26,295.47 to a Visa/BankCard payment center in Dallas, Tex. for “Air Fare, Lodging, Car Rental, Wireless.” The date of disbursement is June 2, the day she visited Massachusetts and New Hampshire. 
Presumably, the sum accounts for some of the cost of her “One Nation” tour. 


So besides the $14,000 she wasted on this "bus tour" she also spent an additional $26,000 on air fare, lodging, and "CAR RENTAL!"  What the hell for? She had a bus with $14,000 worth of decorations on it that she could both live in AND use for transportation!


-- $5,794 to Israel’s Sar-El Tours and Travel for a“Tour of Holy Land.” Palin visited Israel in March and met with Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.

Oh yeah, that trip ALSO turned out well.

-- $18,700 to Young America’s Foundation, a conservative outreach organization aimed at students.

Is that how much the brain washing of young people costs these days? How much do you want to bet she could not get HER kids to attend if she duct taped them to the top of her car and drove their ass there?

-- $10,000 to Peter Schweizer for “Research Consulting.” Schweizer is a conservative author based in Florida who Palin hired as her foreign policy adviser in May.

I wonder if part of his advice was for Palin to hide in her room for two days while visiting India in order to avoid the locals?

-- $5,416.66 to Anchorage, Alaska’s True North L'Attitudes for scheduling.

-- $683 to the Nashville, Tenn. store Nico & LaLa for bookmarks.

There is in fact much more in these filings, which you can find here.

I have a feeling that this is just the beginning and that we will learn much more about how Sarah wastes her supporters money in the days, and weeks ahead.

You know some days I feel bad for the people who are so besotted with Sarah Palin that they will allow her to take such advantage of them.  Today is not one of those days.

You people are idiots, and she's a fraud, move on!

Update: It looks like the Washington Post has uncovered evidence that Palin's bus tour might actually have cost even MORE than we thought. Seriously?

But the total for the trip is likely much more, because many bills came in after the June 30 filing deadline, Sarah PAC treasurer Tim Crawford said in an interview. In addition, many other expenses associated with the trip, such as photography, videography, Internet fundraising and airfare, are more difficult to account for. (One item in the report describes $6,999 paid to an air charter company called Republican Presidential Travel on June 9, at the tail end of “One Nation.”)

Wait, what?  There is a such thing as a "Republican Presidential Travel" airline?  I have never heard of that.

And by the way neither have the folks over at Talking Points Memo. But they did learn THIS:


Doug Garrett, the former owner of Moby Dick Airways, told TPM that Republican Presidential Travel is headquartered in Alaska and under an agreement with the new owner of Moby Dick Airways only does charters in Alaska. He referred questions specifically about the services his company provided to Palin to SarahPAC.

Okay by a show of hands, does ANYBODY have any doubt that this airline is somehow ONLY providing flights to a certain half-term governor?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Paul Revere to Sarah Palin: "Your poll numbers are dropping! Your poll numbers are dropping!"

From Politicususa:

Sarah Palin overall favorable rating is 24%. Her unfavorable rating is 54%. When the NBC News/Wall Street Journal poll was last conducted in April, 9% of those surveyed had a very positive view of Palin. After Paul Revere that number is 7%. Her publicity blitz did cause people that have a very unfavorable view of her to drop from 41% to 38%, but this was offset by an increase in those who had a somewhat unfavorable view of her from 12% to 16%.

In a January 2011 CNN poll, Sarah Palin had a 38% approval rating. By March, a Bloomberg poll had her sinking to 28%. In an April Washington Post poll, Palin’s approval with tea partiers fell to 60%, and her disapproval rating overall shot up to 55%. Later that same month, the NBC News/Wall Street Journal poll measured her approval rating at 25%.

To summarize, Sarah Palin’s approval rating when we began 2011 was 38%. It is now 24%. If the point of the bus tour was to make Palin more popular, then it was a gigantic fail on wheels. She may have been able to get something positive out of the bus tour until she was asked that gotcha question what did you do today? As soon as Palin answered with her revised history of Paul Revere’s ride, any shot at positive publicity was down the drain.

For the twelve people in the country who may not yet have seen it, here is Palin's rendition of the "Ride of Paul Revere."



And here she is doubling down on the stupid.



Wow, a 24% approval rating seems awfully generous after watching that.

And this was AFTER she tried to bring her number back up with this "educational" bus tour.

One can only imagine how much lower her poll numbers will sink after THIS thing scalds their eyes, and sears their brains in the movie theaters.

You know the funny thing is that Palin's plan to increase her popularity is exactly MY plan to destroy her popularity, and that is to simply let people learn more about her.  In her opinion, the more people know they better they will like her, and my opinion is just the opposite.

Gee who do you think has been right so far?

Man who gave Palin her Paul Revere tour says she was "misplacing a few facts when quizzed on her visit."

Courtesy of Newser:

A vicar who gave Sarah Palin and her family a Paul Revere history lesson claims to have the "inside scoop" on the former Alaska governor's "Boston history massacre." I know "where all the factoids she cited came from and take responsibility for putting them in her head," confesses Rev. Stephen Ayres. "I will not take the blame for the odd order those factoids came out. Perhaps it was too much information in too short a period of time to digest properly." Ayres, the vicar of Boston's Old North Church, was asked by the National Park Service to offer the family a tour of the church where patriots, operating on a signal from Paul Revere, held two lanterns to warn Americans that the British were coming by sea.

Ayres speculates that Palin talked later about Revere "ringing bells" to warn the British about American arms because he told her that a teenage Revere had founded the church's "bell ringing guild" in 1750. He also offered the "standard talk" about Revere that included a mention of Revere's capture by the British, "warning those troops that the minutemen had been alerted," he writes in the church blog. Ayres is grateful for Palin's historical mishmash, he adds. "She succeeded in her stated intention of drawing attention to America's historical sites and inadvertently provided us with priceless free publicity by misplacing a few facts when quizzed on her visit," he notes

It is VERY kind of the Vicar to offer to take some of the blame for Palin's complete inability to retain information, but he should know that it is simply not his fault.  No matter how slowly he talked, or how many illustrations he drew for her with crayons, she STILL would have fucked the whole thing up.

Lawrence O'Donnell asks "Did Palin violate laws on her bus tour?"

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In case anybody is asking for my opinion, here it is: "Yes, I think she did indeed violate the law. However she is ALWAYS violating the law so that should come as no surprise to anybody."

Conan O'Brien on Sarah Palin's Paul Revere kerfuffle.

Stephen Colbert does his best to make sense out of Sarah Palin's version of Paul Revere's ride. Absolutely Hilarious!

The Colbert Report
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I am not ashamed to admit that I laughed so hard at this that I was almost crying.

If only Paul Revere were alive today.

(H/T to The Obama Diary.)

And the following was sent to my e-mail account.

Saracudda Rewrites History
by Anne Sweeney
Listen my children and you shall hear
Of political crises so severe
Our nation is threatened as never before
By the specter of Ignorance at our door
It isn’t al Qaeda that poses a threat
Not Korea or Iran nor China and Nyet,
There’s little from Russia that we have to fear
Our liberty’s foes are located here.
The danger is coming – a terrible blight
It’s the Princess of Darkness, the Queen of the Right
Sarah Palin is loose and it’s more than her views
Or her spreading her lies all over Faux News
We thought her stupidity couldn’t be more
The election debacle, the media whore
The PACS and the clothes, the untalented daughter
And Levi, the First Dude and wildlife to slaughter
There’s drilling and shilling her book and her state
Sarah Palin’s Alaska – Oh give me a break!
The endorsements of candidates ready to run
They were all to the right of Attila the Hun
She doesn’t let anything stand in her way
Mamma Grizzly will vanquish that (b)witch Tina Fey
And Katy, and Rachel and Sawyer who dare
To suggest she’s got nothing ‘neath that pile of hair
She’s immune to ridicule, truth or good sense
She’s got her supporters all equally dense
The Tea Party loves her, what else does she need
They will back her whatever her word or her deed
How far she has gone to me is a mystery
How can you explain this reversal of history?
So Revere warned the British, my goodness who knew?
We will rewrite the textbooks, the word will get through!
Paul Revere was a traitor, Tea Baggers will claim
They will join stupid Sarah in trashing his name
And if liberals in Boston should start to protest,
We have ways of dealing – Saracudda knows best
And what of the Minutemen swooping like eagles?
They were from Arizona and hunting illegals
And Samuel Adams, we must make it clear
He did go to Harvard, so don’t drink his beer
Bunker Hill was a victory, The Redcoats were routed
The truth of that statement can never be doubted
And the Boston Tea Party – oh here’s to our cause!
It was all about taxes, and Obama’s laws
Founding Fathers were Christians so put on your blinkers
And ignore all the guys who were really freethinkers
For thinking’s not part of Sarah’s new quest
Rousing rabble and lying is what she does best
And as the Know Nothings do flock to her flag
Abandon all hope, for this ignorant hag
Will be quick to throw us right under the bus
We have met the enemy – you betcha. She’s us.

Okay THAT is fairly close to brilliant.  Very nicely done.

Morning Joe simply cannot resist chiming in on Palin's historical/hysterical faux pas over the weekend.

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By the way I came across a picture which MIGHT explain why Palin was unable to learn anything during her bus tour toward ignorance.

Apparently she was distracted by the uniformed eye candy.

By the way, and to quote the Grizzled Mama herself, "have you seen Todd?" It seems he has been MIA since his appearance at the very beginning of the trip, and since he was spotted climbing into a taxi and getting the hell out of Dodge.

Which kind of makes one wonder if the Palins have finally decided to stop presenting their sham of a marriage as if it is anything but a politically expedient business deal and get that divorce which I first reported about almost two years ago, and which the Globe says is now imminent:

Republican darling Sarah Palin has hammered out a secret divorce deal with her husband Todd as she moves to Arizona without him and mulls a run for the Presidency, say sources in a blockbuster world exclusive. Find out why the former Alaska governor and her "First Dude" are said to be splitting and how it will affect her political ambitions. This is one story you won't want to miss!

So perhaps increasing her knowledge base, or even starting her faux political campaign, was NOT the focus of this bus tour. And the real purpose was in fact to find Sarah Palin a more manly substitute for the prostitute visiting, never around when she needs him, Todd Palin.

Or she could just be the DUMBEST human being on the planet, a woman so ignorant that she literally has to write a note on her hand to remind her to end her publicity tour.

Did you miss it?  Here take a closer look.

You know her Palin-bots can spend every day of their misbegotten lives trying to cover for the ignorant things this imbecile says, but ultimately it will do them not one bit of good because, as they say in the south, "You just can't fix stupid!"

Sarah Palin's spokesman speaks out about Paul Revere.

Well for one thing, he is MUCH more articulate than Palin. 

And for another, he is MUCH cuter.

Palin: "I know my American history!" Okay this is just sad.

The woman can simply NEVER admit a mistake. Never!

(H/T to The Political Carnival.)