Sarah Palin proves that Einstein's quote about insanity holds true.

Perhaps you remember that at the end of one of Palin's recent Facebook posts she wrote, or had written for her, the following: 

And stay tuned for the next step in finally shooing away the pesky numbskulls in what was once "mainstream" media. I'm going to do my part. I'll soon announce the most helpful, satisfying, exciting leap YOU can take with me as we help build America's future together.

We of course all had a chuckle at that, and I even made this joke at the time, " Uh oh, it looks like Palin might be ready to launch another Sarah Palin Channel for her five remaining supporters."

Well the joke's on me, because that is exactly what she did.

I present to you Sarah Palin.com.

It is essentially the same crap she posts on Facebook, only this time it's on a blog. (Which I thing we all know is way more legitimate.)

To kick it off she even advertised it on her Facebook page.

So Palin's attempt to undermine the "untrustworthy" MSM is to launch yet another online depository for her crazy batshit?

You know because that worked out so well last time.

Oh, we are going to have SO MUCH fun with this.

So Trump TV might have just launched. Kinda.

Courtesy of HuffPo: 

Donald Trump’s presidential campaign on Monday began airing a live nightly video news program, fanning speculation that Trump may seek to capitalize on his supporters’ zeal by launching a media network after November’s election. 

“This is an effort to bring our message directly to you. You don’t have to take it through the media filter and the spin they put on it,” said Cliff Simms, the Trump adviser who co-hosted the program, which was broadcast on Facebook. “We plan to do this each and every night.” 

Co-host Boris Epshteyn, a senior adviser to Trump, insisted the Trump-focused news show was not a test run for anything else. “The left-wing media’s even trying to spin this, believe it or not,” Epshteyn said. “They’re saying, well this is ‘Trump TV.’ That’s not what this is. This is our campaign, and most importantly, our candidate being out there and speaking directly to the voters.”

Well we have been hearing about this possibility for over a month now, and even though there are denials coming from the Trump camp this seems to me to be Trump's first toe dipping into the world of conservative journalism.

As you know there was also a segment aired during the last debate, and THAT one seemed to do well.

However last night's segment suffered due to lack of interest: 

Without a debate to stir interest, ratings were down. The audience for Wednesday’s show peaked at 200,000 people, according to Politico. Monday’s program began with just shy of 60,000 viewers, and within 30 minutes half the audience had moved on.

Yeah I don't think that 30,000 viewers is going to be anywhere near enough to give Fox News a run for their money.

If you visit the HuffPo link you will see an incredibly amateurism segment that looks like it was put together by a middle school media club.  (From a poor school, in a bad neighborhood, without access to modern editing software.)

In fact as I watched it I thought less of Fox News and more of another fairly recent attempt to launch a personality driven media outlet.

Oh god, he really is Sarah Palin 2.0.

Sarah Palin tells possibly fabricated story about home invasion in order to frighten all of us into loving guns as much as she does.

Click lip gloss to play video

The above clip is courtesy of Wonkette's Fartknocker who is still courageously watching these clips from the Sarah Palin Channel before TAPP closes shop and leaves Palin to go back to talking to herself in her bathroom mirror.

In this Fartknocker post there are actually three videos feature, non of them longer than like a minute and a half. However it was only the one about guns that I found at all interesting.

Here take a second to read this and tell me if you can tell why:

"Quick story here. In twenty ten a woman was putting her son to bed when she heard a commotion. So she went to investigate and she was confronted by three men en masse (WTF?) pointing a gun right at her. She offered her television set because that was the most valuable thing she owned, but nope they took off toward her son's room and they were in search of cash. 'I keep money under my mattress' she lied, in a desperate attempt to keep them away from her son. The bedroom was, not coincidentally, where she kept her gun. They followed her to her room, and one man got out some duct tape. When her dogs ran in, they started barking, it was all the distraction that she needed. Ahh! She shot one of the assailants, in the stomach (Check out Palin's gleeful expression at this point.), and the other two men, they ran away. Here’s the thing: the gun that she used is now illegal in New York because of its seventeen-round capacity. Had this happened in New York right now, this woman would be considered more of a criminal than the three guys who broke into her house! Ahh! When you hear people talking about outlawing certain guns, remember that those restrictions put law-abiding people, the good guys like this brave woman, put them in danger"

Okay now first off you all know that I would never simply call Sarah Palin a liar just because she lies as easily as some people breathe, and because after years of fact checking her catching her telling the truth is as rare as finding a picture of Bristol NOT making that stupid duck face.

However I should say that so far I have been unable to locate a news story that matches the details in Palin's story.

And the story itself does not seem to make a whole lot of sense. At all.

First off the woman has dogs, yet SHE was the first person in the house to hear a "commotion."

Now I have my daughter's dog living with me right now and SHE is always the first one in the house to respond to anything amiss. Or even not so amiss for that matter.

For instance the other day she jumped up and started barking like crazy because a guy working on a construction site behind my house accidentally stepped onto my property. He was yards away from any door or window but she wanted me to know that the son-of-a-bitch was too close for comfort.

So how could three men enter this woman's house and her dogs not make a peep?

Okay secondly Palin says they were there looking for money, and instead of asking HER for the money they "took off toward her son's room." Now I have no idea how old her son is, but why would they think that HE would be the one holding enough cash to justify a home invasion?

Is he a drug dealer? A child television star? An accountant for the mob?

So then the woman convinces ALL THREE of the men to follow her to her bedroom and they all come, not leaving one lookout in the other room or anything. And once there in the room THEN the dogs finally make an appearance? Where the fuck were they all of this time?

So according to Palin's story the woman then retrieves a gun from somewhere in the bedroom and fires it hitting one of the men in the stomach. (Oh and she loves this part, watch her eyes.)

Now putting all of that aside (Yeah good luck with that!) the point Palin is making is that under newer gun restrictions if this woman lived in New York, which Palin never clarifies, she would not have been able to have that firearm because of its seventeen-round clip. 

Which of course is completely false, since it is the CLIP that is now illegal not the gun.

So to sum up, the entire possibly bullshit story she tells is just to make a false point about gun control, which is easily refuted with a quick Google search.

Gee, I wonder why TAPP pulled the plug on her "channel?"

Sarah Palin thinks that the police can raid your home and frighten your children just because you're a conservative.

Click the toothless grannie to play video.

Wonkette has another Fartknocker Report, which might in fact might be their last one before TAPP pulls the plug and Palin has to record her lunacy on an I-Phone and post it on Facebook like your Aunt Bertha who is terribly disappointed that your gay but wants you to know she still loves you even though you're going to burn in hell for all eternity.

In this edition Palin seems to have convinced herself that the recent John Doe investigations launched in Wisconsin are targeting folks simply for being conservatives, not because you know, they might have broken the law.

Courtesy of the Milwaukee-Wisconsin Journal Sentinel:  

Already, the probe has led to multiple felony charges against Walker's onetime deputy chief of staff, Tim Russell, and former county veterans official Kevin Kavanaugh. They are accused of taking more than $60,000 in donations intended for Operation Freedom, an annual event at the county zoo for veterans and their families.

However in Palin's imagination these people did nothing wrong except embrace conservative politics:

Can armed police storm your house and take away your laptop and walk into your bathroom while your kids are in the shower and go into your kids’ rooms (Why is it always focused on kids without clothes on or sleeping in their beds with her?) while you wake your kids and try to tell ’em, uh, just be calm and, uh, these guys, though, telling them don’t breathe a word about any of this to your neighbors who wonder why your house is surrounded by cops, I know, that sounds surreal, sounds impossible.

Well, they can do that for no other reason than the fact that you’re a conservative, or a libertarian, or perhaps for whatever reason they come up with, it seems. (Wait, what?)

In the state of Wisconsin, the answer to the question “Can they do that?” it’s a resounding yes, and they’d rather that we all stop talking about that. (Well good then stop talking.)

These so-called "John Doe" investigations were a police witch hunt for people who violated campaign finance laws. 

But here's the thing, they hadn't violated any laws. Some of the victims of this political targeting reported that their lives have really just been turned upside down. It's been devastating for these families. The trauma,  followed by the legal mandate not to talk about this with anyone about it, strain their marriages, strain their finances, strain their families...and remember the government did this only because these people exercised their first amendment rights. Somebody in government didn't like it. 

Rarely do you see a situation that is so rife with lunacy, and unfairness, and malice. These cases, combined with the IRS political targeting scandal, makes you realize that for some government officials, some bureaucrats, it's open season on anyone that they disagree with politically. Namely conservatives. We can't stop talking about it until it stops. 

Actually the initial investigation was requested by Scott Walker himself. The "John Doe" probes were launched when other irregularities were found and Walker stopped cooperating.

The John Doe investigations are unique to Wisconsin, so there is no danger of them being used to "target conservatives" in other states. And this one is not targeting conservatives either, it is focused on ferreting our corruption and illegal activity among Walker's county staff.

The trigger for this video is most likely an extremely slanted piece written by Nancy French's husband, which makes the case (Like a lot of other conservative outlets.) that this is all a witch hunt driven by politics.

I would assume that reading it brought back memories to Palin of her own ethics charges which she claims drove her out of office back in 2009, and of course she felt she needed to respond.

However the allegation that police are raiding the homes of conservatives based on purely ideological reasons is almost too absurd even for her.

Wonkette, and others, on Sarah Palin quitting her internet subscription channel.

Click dazed expression to play video

So yesterday Wonkette caught up to the breaking news of Palin's newest failure:

This July 4th, Sarah Palin celebrated America by announcing that she is quitting the Internet-teevee-channel grift, because quitting is what Sarah Palin does best. In video and text announcements on the Sarah Palin Channel, Governor Quitterface declared that as of August 1, anyone can consume premium, previously paywalled Palin content, because Sarah Palin is getting rid of her paywall for freedom, and not because the Sarah Palin Channel was an economic failure, heavens no. 

Others have finally noticed as well including The Examiner: 

Just one year ago in July 2014, the Sarah Palin Channel debuted as an alternative news outlet for conservative viewers. Now after a less than stellar roll out, all content will be made available for free.

Mediaite:   

The former governor of Alaska, vice presidential candidate and Fox News contributor said that the decision stems from a desire to “make sure that your voices and mine are heard by the widest possible audience across this great land of ours” as the 2016 presidential election approaches. But if this venture were really such a smashing success, would she really be willing to walk away from all that incoming revenue?

Oooh, oooh let me answer that one. No.

Talking Points Memo: 

Sarah Palin announced on Saturday that she would stop selling subscriptions to the Sarah Palin Channel in August, a little over a week after Fox News cut ties with the former Alaska governor and Republican vice presidential candidate. 

Palin launched her online video channel about a year ago because she was "tired of media filters."

And Raw Story: 

The announcement came less than a month after Palin was dropped by Fox News. The former governor’s stock has been in decline since her “painful” speech at an event in Iowa in January.

Let's see six years ago on July 3rd Palin quit her job as governor and this year on July 5th she quit her job as  herself on her paid subscription channel.

What is it about July that makes Palin want to quit everything?

As you will notice not one of these news outlets makes any suggestion of Palin quitting to launch a campaign for President, where a couple of years ago that would have been the prevailing theory.

Proving that the media might be slow on the uptake sometimes, but if you beat them over the head long enough eventually they will figure things out.

In other news is looks like there is a publisher ignorant enough to give Palin yet another book deal:  

Former Alaska governor Sarah Palin signed a deal with Regnery Publishing to write Sweet Freedom: A Devotional. The faith-based book is scheduled for mid November, just in time for Christmas. 

The devotional will feature 260 meditations--one for almost every day of the year--that explore and apply biblical principles to the pressing topics of our time. 

Palin's going to "write" a book about religion and faith?

What will she write about next speechifying and effective child rearing?

Gee I wonder how many tens of copies this book will sell?

As of August first the Sarah Palin Channel will be free.

"How come nobody wants to give me any money?"

Courtesy of the Sarah Palin Channel:

Thank you for your subscription to the Sarah Palin Channel. 

Effective August 1st, the Governor will be making all of her content free on her Facebook page and at SarahPac.com. 

• If you are a monthly subscriber here on SarahPalinChannel.com, you will not be charged anything after this month. There’s nothing that you need to do. 

• If you are an annual subscriber, you can have the balance of your subscription refunded to your credit card or you can roll your subscription into one of the other channels on our network.  

So does this mean that Palin is quitting again?

Kinda sounds like it.

I think that we know Palin well enough to realize that the ONLY reason that she is now making the content free is because she was not making any money through subscriptions anyhow.

Which, by the way, is something that most of us predicted on the day the channel made its debut.

I wonder if that is why the content had been, shall we say, less than plentiful as of late?

And now with no money coming in at all, do we really think she is going to bother making those insipid little videos for free? 

So to sum up, Sarah PAC is now running on fumes, Fox is no longer paying her to babble incoherently on their cable news channel, she can only get paid to speak about once every four or five months, nobody, and I mean NOBODY, is interested in any more of her ghostwritten books, and she cannot make any money through subscriptions to her internet "channel."

Gee, what is a washed up old political has been to do?

Well, there is always that I guess.

P.S. For those of you wondering, yes the folks at the Sea O'Pee absolutely think this is a sign that Palin is running for President.  But then again, they think every time she blows her nose it is a sign she is running for President.

Wonkette discovers that finally there is a new video on the Sarah Palin Channel. Update!

Click gaping maw to play video

Actually I have to admit that the video, and Wonkette's humorous take on said video did not really interest me that much. In fact it is the usual empty headed pandering to the Christo-fascists that we have all seen numerous times before.

What I thought was far more entertaining was this synopsis found in the middle of the article:  

There is no easy way to say this: Sarah Palin’s grifting business appears to be foundering. The mast has snapped, the waves are coming over the gunwales, and the First Mate slipped, fell on a penis, and got pregnant again. Mutinies have been sparked by less, but mutinies require a mutinous crew, and right now, Sarah Palin stands alone at the bridge, spinning the wheel hard one way, then hard the other, like she saw a man do in a movie once. 

Now see I thought that was actually a perfect description of what Palin is going through right now. 

She really does seem to be all alone in this grifting enterprise these days, with one daughter getting knocked up (Again!), another off cutting hair, a third publicly giving away a pig that her mother had just written a post about and fighting with her sister about it, and of course the older brother still MIA as usual.

(Speaking of MIA just where in the hell is Todd these days?)

Personally at this point I think we can write the whole family off as a waste of oxygen.

I really only care about the well being of one of the kids t this point, and that is this one.

I still think that he is worth saving, and if he spends more time with his father, and less with this family of sideshow freaks, he will be.

Update: I forgot about Trig somehow. Yes I am totally concerned about him as well.  

Wonkette takes notice that there have been no new videos on the Sarah Palin Channel for two weeks now. Gee, I wonder why?

Courtesy of Wonkette:

For two weeks running, Sarah Palin has not bothered to publish any new videos—and her subscribers have begun to take notice. In the Sarah Palin Channel’s comment sections, they speak to each other in the tones of people who just blew $20 on carnival games and didn’t even win a giant stuffed panda for Jenny Sue.

Ooh, ooh, we do, we do! Poor Pammers strikes as the kind of person who watched the final scenes of “The Usual Suspects” and wondered who was going to clean up all that spilled coffee. 

Other commenters, like this grandmother, are far more direct and far more fed-up.

Threatening to take your foldin’ money elsewhere are fightin’ words in Palin’s grifter paradise. But then you’ve got true believers like this guy, who will happily tell you that the evidence of absence is not the absence of evidence.

 "She would NEVER leave us hang. IF she knows that she is not running, she would have announced so."

I am going to have to leave it there or risk getting a case of the giggles that will incapacitate me for the remainder of the day. However if you want more just click the Wonkette link at the top.

I have been doing this for such a long time that you would think that I would have lost the ability to be amazed by the stupidity of the Palin-bots, but just when I think that is true I learn that they have yet another level for self deception.

I swear that without Palin to focus on these people would be wandering the streets careening from scam artist, to scam artist, in a constant need to waste their money on get rich quick schemes, magical elixirs, and phony fortune tellers.

The Sarah Palin Channel has a free video up which seems determined to show Palin as a good mother. Can you say epic fail?

Click bored children to watch video.

My assumption is that this video was supposed to demonstrate a day in the life of a woman parenting a child with Down syndrome. However what it shows is a woman completely out of her depth, who does not have the skill set to effectively care for a child with special needs.

In the very beginning of the video Palin tells Trig that she wants to read him a book. He responds by covering his ears, while Piper carries him to where Palin wants to do this reading, which oddly enough is in front of a giant television playing Sponge Bob Squarepants.

Then Palin attempts to get Trig's attention by reading in an incredibly irritating sing song voice, and showing him pictures that are clearly not nearly as interesting to him as what is on the television screen. Even Piper looks bored out of her mind.

This is not how you get children to engage in story time.

There should be limited distractions and you should invite them to identify characters, colors, and words in the book along with you.  "Red fish, Blue Fish" was one of my daughter's favorite books, and even at two and three she was able to memorize passages and say them out loud with me.

The next sequence shows Palin feeding Trig baby food, which she does while having him watch a portable DVD player. (Apparently Palin uses these electronic devices, TV, DVD players, and I-Pads, to keep Trig calm while she interacts with him.)

During the feeding sequence Palin essentially treats Trig as if he is a toddler even though he is at least six in these videos. (The Sarah Palin Channel has only been up since July of last year.)

I am not sure what Palin was hoping this video would do for her, humanize her perhaps, but what it really does is reveal to the world that Trig did NOT get the therapy that he needed at a very young age, that Palin still does not know how to interact with him effectively, and that she relies on electronic gadgets to essentially baby sit him in order to keep him manageable.

I have worked with a lot of Down syndrome kids over the years, and at Trig's age they are usually able to communicate, eat solid foods, and even read and write on their own.

I am not sure what Trig's actual diagnosis might be, it is possible he has more than just Down's to deal with, but from the outside looking in there are a lot of things lacking in his life that even parents with less money have been able to provide for their children.

And somebody also needs to explain to me how wearing the Belmonts in this video helps Palin with her parenting. Because that was really confusing.

Sarah Palin would like everybody to stop talking about the stupid cancelled wedding and get back to the important business of attacking Hillary Clinton.

Click open maw to play video

"Well interesting news on the Hillary Clinton campaign front: her 2000 Senate campaign manager, he said he’s not endorsing her, well, not yet anyway. That former campaign manager is none other than New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio. He's been a close associate of the Clintons for years., but he's keeping his options open. Well he's not alone among Democrats who worry that Hillary's not liberal enough, or honest enough, for them. Some of them are hoping for another Democrat to step up, step forward, and challenge her because.. well she is vulnerable. But not because she's not liberal enough. She's way more left wing than most every American. (More left wing than most EVERY American? Says who?) She's vulnerable because she’s ethically challenged. Well, she failed as Secretary of State, and her signature effort as First Lady was Hillarycare, remember? And that was a disaster. That, of course, was the equivalent, mmm, to Obamacare.  (Which is such a failure that we now have just under 17 million newly insured Americans.) She’s held high office, but she’s proven that just ’cause she’s had a title, well, she still can’t handle the challenge, making wrong decision after wrong decision. The Obama-Clinton foreign policy was an absolute disaster, our government actually backed the Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt, and gave Libya to jihadists who murdered our ambassador and three other brave Americans (Benghazi! Benghazi! Benghazi!) and withdrew too soon from Iraq, which gave ISIS an opening to strike. That list doesn't even include the ridiculous reset with Russia, which is now bullying its neighbors in a manner that we haven't seen since the Col War was hot. (Really? Even worse than the Russian invasion and occupation of Georgia?) So Mayor Bill, he’s smart to keep his options open. [Shows clip of de Blasio.]  He believes that Hillary is the wrong candidate at the wrong time, perhaps, along with a lot of other Americans"

Yeah that's not what Mayor de Blasio said, but since this is perhaps the least of Palin's exaggerations in this clip we'll let it slide.

According to Wonkette this video popped up this week over at the Sarah Palin Channel along with another one clearly filmed on the same day, and with the combined running time of just three minutes and thirty eight seconds.

Because, you know, there's nothing too good for her loyal followers.

But to be fair it is REALLY hard to focus all of your bitchiness toward Hillary Clinton, President Obama, and the liberals when your carefully orchestrated wedding plans for your slutty daughter are falling a part all around you. 

So let's give Palin a break here.

Besides it's really only for her subscribers, and seriously how many of those can there actually be at this point?

Sarah Palin wants Democrats to stop trying to pry sugary drinks out of the mouths of her family and to start fighting harder against radical Islam and to keep all of those brown people out of our country.

Click claw to play video

So the brave folks over at Wonkette have once again waded hip deep into the mushy moosenuggets of misinformation that drop from Sarah Palin's gaping maw with each new, and increasingly rare, Sarah Palin Channel video.

In this one Palin takes great umbrage at the very idea that Democrats recognize anything as sinful, and would increase taxes in order to protect people from lung cancer, obesity, or type two diabetes.

The bastards!

"Get this, a Connecticut Democrat has proposed legislation to tax sugary drinks at one cent per teaspoon of sweeteners, like sugars! Theses types of taxes, they’re designed to discourage certain behaviors, kinda mold the person into what some politician perceives as an ideal person (Healthy?), according to their own priorities. You know like smoking or drinking pop, soft drinks. Those are called ‘sin taxes.’ But wait a second: liberals are now all of a sudden interested in sin? Well how judgmental! During a time when Christians are being targeted and murdered by radical Islam, when the Obama administration still isn’t serious about jihad, when our national debt is sky-high and growing every day, and when our borders are open and we’re rewarding illegal aliens whose first act upon our soil is to break our laws—yeah our borders aren’t secure—well, really, soda? That should be way down on the list of government concerns. (Actually, funny thing, liberals can do more than one thing at a time.) Prohibition didn’t work well the first time around, did it? Shoot, if people want sugar, like me? We’re gonna get it! This type of tax is just another way to take money from middle and low income Americans and give it to government, give it to the bureaucrats, give it to the politicians. Hey Democrats, why don’t you stop your moral preening and actually work to fix some things that are wrong in our nation?" 

When she says "actually work to fix things that are wrong in our nation," does she mean vote to keep Republicans out of office? Cause we do that.

You know one might think that Palin would be all for taxing sugary drinks. After all they probably contributed, at least in some small part, to this version of her daughter from 2010.

There were likely other contributing factors as well, but for the life of me I cannot remember what they might have been.

Lack of exercise perhaps?

And by the way Sarah Palin, while she was mayor,  raised the sales tax in Wasilla by .5 percent. And yes that included taxes on soda and sugary drinks.

Hypocrisy much?

(Of course that was not enough money for her, so she left the city 22 million dollars in debt.)

So not only did Palin fight vehemently against Obamacare, which has resulted in 9 out of 10 Americans now having insurance, she is also promoting the idea of sending our troops to fight more enemies, argues against reducing emissions to save our planet, and now pisses and moans about taxes on sugary drinks that contribute to obesity and the onset of preventable diseases.

I think I now know who Sarah Palin is really working for.

Death.

Sarah Palin outraged that Al-Shabaab, a militant Islamic terrorist group is targeting Christians. Christians I say!

Click gargoyle to play video

The Queen of indignation is very, very....what's the word for it? Oh yeah, indignant.

Just listen to her verbal vomit:

"Wow, are massacres of Christians now so routine that, shoot, they can barely break into the news cycle? Seems that way. In Kenya, a jihadist group every bit as radical as ISIS stormed into a college, they separated the Christians from the Muslim students, and they didn’t stop shooting Christians until more than 140 Christians lay dead. Oh God bless those Christian students, their families, their loved ones. Those Christian students who refused to deny Christ up to the very end. (Heavy sigh.) Christians are being targeted for murder in our long war against radical Islam. But the Obama administration still isn't serious. They're not serious about Jihad. Still engages with as little force and as many limits as possible. It's even trying to tie the hands of our next President. See some of the problems are our allies don't have enough resources. Our soldiers, they're not allowed to fight to win. And the Obama administration, it’s focusing its energy on things like appeasing Iran while alienating Israel. Our priorities are exactly backwards. These backward priorities are killing the Christian faith in the Middle East. They’re killing Christians in Africa. And their undermining our own national security. How long before we face another unthinkable tragedy, right here at home? When if we do the right thing it can be prevented."

Yes our President, who is so uncommitted to killing terrorists that he had to apologize to the families of two hostages caught in the crossfire, is allowing these jihadists to kill innocent Christians, and not lifting a finger to help.

After all can't we simply send American troops into Kenya and start killing their citizens simply because we are convinced they are potential terrorists?

Oh we can't?

Yeah but Sarah Palin just.....oh she's an idiot with no experience in foreign relations you say?

Well you do have to admit that it is terrible that this group is targeting ONLY Christians and killing them because of their faith, right?

Oh, Al-Shabaab is going after multiple targets including health centers and Mosques, local officials, UNICEF staff members, and just about anybody else they think might be in their way?

Yes but it's still true that the President is not doing anything to address this massacre of Christians, right?

Oh he called the president of Kenya right after the attacks to offer condolences, and he is headed to Kenya in July where he will discuss “how to strengthen counterterrorism cooperation and continue to work together to build a safer and more prosperous future for Kenya and the broader region?”

Oh well it's still true that Sarah Palin is a freeze dried moron, with not enough brain power to calculate the logistics necessary to scratch her own ass without a detailed instruction manual written in crayon to help her to decipher it, right?

Yes that last part is indeed correct.

I knew that.

(H/T to Wonkette.)

Sarah Palin tries to convince the handful of subscribers to her internet channel that they have influence and forced the former head of the ATF to step down.

Click look of self satisfaction to play video.

"Well you sure made a difference for the 2nd Amendment, and you're still making a difference. Just weeks after your public comments and your public outrage caused the ATF to back off their ridiculous ban on a popular kind of rifle ammunition, the ATF director is stepping down. And now Congress is taking a look at ways to shrink the ATF’s authority. Good! That’s your influence! Like every branch of government, the ATF, if it exists at all, should exist to protect constitutional rights, not to violate them. The Second Amendment protects private gun ownership, and it also protects the right to own ammunition! It’s pure common sense. But I suppose it takes a federal agency stocked with lawyers to ignore common sense, ignore the Constitution, and really overstep its bounds.But they don't always get what they want do they? The government doesn't always win. You can make  difference. You are making a difference."

Yeah probably not.

First off B. Todd James, the former head of the ATF, is leaving to fill the newly created job of disciplinary officer for the NFL. A job that you have to know is going to pay a HELL of a lot more money than his ATF position.

Secondly, as Wonkette points out, the ATF is NOT a "branch of  government." It is a law enforcement agency, like the FBI or the CIA.

Thirdly the bullets that the Obama administration wanted to ban is ammunition for the AR-15 that can pierce body armor and place law enforcement personnel at risk while doing their jobs. What kind of a law abiding citizen would want or need those anyhow?

Fourthly nowhere in the 2nd Amendment does it say that citizens should have access to EVERY KIND of weapon, nor EVERY KIND of ammunition. When the amendment was ratified they had muskets for fuck's sake!

And lastly, who in their right mind would actually believe that the morons who send Palin their couch seat money each month had ANY impact on this decision to drop the push to ban those AR-15 bullets or Jones decision to take a better job?

No the reason that the bullet ban did not go through is because the NRA got their members to flood the agency with e-mails and phone calls, and the NRA contacted their butt boys in the Congress and told them to stop this bill or they would not longer let them give them blowjobs in the broom closet.

Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, that Palin and her handful of paint chip eating morons did had any affect whatsoever.

But hey I get it. One way to help yourself feel relevant, is by convincing the dipshits hanging around you that you make them relevant as well.

Sarah Palin mounts her old dead horse, and starts ringing her bell to warn the patriots that "ISIS is coming, ISIS is coming!"

Click dazed expression to play video.

I am going to transcribe the video just to test my pain threshold.

Here you go, oooh that stings already:

"Well President Obama's war against ISIS, it's going so well that ISIS is expanding. The Nigerian terror group called Boko Haram has now repeatedly pledged its allegiance to ISIS. At one stroke ISIS has added a new center of operations, thousands of new fighters, and thousands of square miles to its Jihadist empire. ISIS now controls territory in Iraq, Syria, Nigeria, possibly even Libya. While the Obama administration takes its time, refusing to bring decisive force to the fight. ISIS kills innocent men, women, and children by the thousands. And with each kill, each propaganda video, it increases its apill (sic) to Islamic radicals. How much does ISIS have to grow before we realize the magnitude of the threat? The Obama administration (Jarring edit here) Their priority is on limiting American involvement and that means jihadists run wild. (Is that anything like "Girls Gone Wild?") President Obama wanted to be the President who ended wars. (Yep that's why we elected him.) It's what he claimed. But he forgot a fundamental principle (Oh please enlighten us oh bewigged one!) It's hard to end a war when the enemy is still fighting. (You know correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think that ISIS even existed when we invaded Iraq and Afghanistan.) So he forfeited our victory in Iraq (Wait, we won?) imposed ludicrous restrictions on our troops in Afghanistan, and remember he called ISIS the 'junior varsity' even as it was gathering terrifying strength in Syria. Friends we're fighting the most evil jihadists the world has ever seen. Yet the Obama administration refuses to act like we're at war. It's time to take the gloves off overseas. Before ISIS can take the war to us here at home."

Gee I wonder how much ISIS had to contribute to SarahPAC in order to get Palin to make this nifty propaganda video for them?

Isn't this the same way that George W. Bush helped to elevate a rag tag bunch of sheep herders into one the scariest terrorist groups on the planet?

Here is what the folks over at Wonkette had to say:

ISIS is, by almost any measure, losing ground. The group failed to take the city of Kobani, and they failed in large part because President Mom Jeans bombed the living shit out of them. ISIS has been driven out of Tikrit, with a few remaining defenders cut off and encircled near the Tigris River. The group’s revenue streams have been decimated, and their fighting formations are beginning to experience desertion among the rank-and-file. 

ISIS is also currently under attack from Saudi Arabia, the Kurds, Egypt, Canada, Belgium, the Netherlands, and Turkey to name but a few.

And of course all of that is thanks to the efforts of the United States and the President that the Republicans keep accusing of "leading from behind."

But let's face it, Sarah Palin and her ilk will not be satisfied with a US response until we have gallons of American blood spilling onto the hot sands.  And of course NONE of that blood will spill from her precious military prop, because he is safely out of harm's way taking drugs, starting fights at parties, and sponging off of his famous mother.

Sarah Palin suffers some kind of conservative flashback and decides to attack former IRS Director Lois Lerner. Wait, who?

Click crazy eyes to play video.

"Remember Lois Lerner? You remember Lois Lerner. One of the bureaucrats there at the IRS, at the top. The IRS official at the very center of the Tea Party targeting scandal. She helped engineer the targeting of conservative groups and tried to get the Department of Justice to prosecute conservatives." (Yeah, no she didn't.)

"No evidence, they didn't do anything wrong. Uh this is the same Lois Lerner who allegedly lost tens of thousands of key e-mails when Congress wanted to get to the bottom of her wrong doing and the corruption there in the IRS under her watch." (Actually those e-mails were recovered in 2014 before Congress finished it's witch hunt investigation.)

"Well it turns out that Lois Lerner, she not only didn’t really get punished, she was rewarded. Lois Lerner received more than $129,000 in bonuses during the exact period when the IRS targeting was at its worst! I bet some folks in the Obama administration believed she earned every penny of that. (You know, cause she did.) That’s pretty sickening. After all, it’s pretty clear that the IRS was weaponized and used against American citizens to protect the President’s party and the president himself from a grassroots, Tea Party movement that threatened to stop his left-wing agenda — a Tea Party movement that, well, it was essentially just asking questions, trying to hold our government accountable." (Wow, there is so much stupid in that last part of the paragraph I have no idea where to start.)

"Mmmm, the president didn’t like that. Lois Lerner, though, heck, she was laughing all the way to the bank! She’s still laughing. She’s collecting her taxpayer-paid federal pension still, while the Obama Administration continues to obstruct and stonewall any investigation trying to get to the bottom of this and stop this corruption in the IRS. And now we found out that her lost e-mails, well they may not have been lost after all.  (Yeah, I mentioned that up above.) Eh what a shock. At this point nothing should surprise us about the IRS, or the Department of Justice."

"Nah the Obama administration in general. I do not know how these bureaucrats, these politicians, how do they sleep at night?" (Okay how many of us would like to ask Sarah Palin that very question?)

From there Palin launches into a plea to her six viewers that they help to elect and "honorable" Commander-in-Chief who will uphold the oath of office.

You know she's going to scuff up her red, while, and blue pumps if she keeps kicking those dead horses.

Apparently Palin failed to read the results of Darrell Issa's witch hunt investigation  which came out in December of 2014, and which essentially said the following: 

The bottom line: Contrary to his assertions in countless appearances on Fox News, there's no evidence that the Obama White House directed -- or indeed was involved in any way -- in the supposed targeting of conservative nonprofit groups for special scrutiny by the IRS. There's no evidence that "tea party" groups were exclusively targeted, as opposed to tax-exempt "social welfare" organizations from across the political spectrum.

The evidence set forth in the report, which was issued by the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform's GOP majority without sharing it first with the Democratic minority, instead depicts an IRS struggling to apply complicated rules for nonprofits engaging in political activity, all without guidance from Congress. 

After that everybody pretty much moved on to the next scandal du jour, which right now is Hillary Clinton's e-mails. 

So I don't know how Palin got caught in a time warp, but she is currently attempting to drum up outrage over a nothing scandal, that never amounted to anything, and that nobody even remembers anymore.

"Remember Lois Lerner? You remember Lois Lerner." No, no they don't.

Of course this video comes from our friends at Wonkette who also had this to say:


In one of her three new videos this week — seven minutes and 34 seconds of total run time, for those keeping score at home — Sarah Palin decided to squawk about Lois Lerner, because apparently that horse is not yet dead and requires further beating. 

Wow, seven minutes and 34 seconds of video a week. That must be that work ethic that Palin keeps bragging about.

I wonder how many subscribers are still sending her money for this lazy, watered down, trip through memory lane?

Wonkette has more Sarah Palin Channel footage where Palin mythologizes her 2011 faux campaign bus tour as an opportunity for Americans to learn about America.

Click the stupid to play video.

So the folks at Wonkette, thanks to Fartknocker, have some more of that easily mocked Sarah Palin Channel footage.

In their most recent post the video is split into two parts.

In the second Palin tries desperately to think of good things to say about Iowa, but can only come up with patriotism, blue collar people, and butter sculptures.

However in the first video Palin waxes philosophically about her 2011 bus tour (Remember the one where Piper was body checking journalists and complaining they were ruining her vacation.) only now that blatant attempt to trick her handful of supporters into thinking she was serious about a 2012 presidential run has been re-imagined as if it was a "Magic Schoolbus" like educational opportunity for Americans.

You know with Sarah Palin being like a teacher and everything. (Stop giggling, she's serious. I think.)

"We love our road trips. We love our road trips. One of the most fun things our family ever does. We wanted to do a bus tour to see historical sites across America. We didn't even have to tease the tour (Yes you did.), or tease the stops, in fact we didn't even tell reporters where we were going they just literally, physically, followed us in a bus. And we knew that we would bring publicity to all these different historical sites that Todd and I, and the kids, and my parents, and others who came with us, a lot of times they were the first times we had even seen these historical sites so we knew well we're not the only ones across America who haven;t experienced this, so let's bring America along on the ride. And we'll use these doggone reporters to give publicity to the sites that we think Americans should go see. Because it gives you great appreciation for the foundation of the country when you're physically there seeing the birthplace of Lincoln, and Reagan, and the memorials of these..these benchmarks in our nation's history that have put us on the road towards exceptionalism. So being on this bus tour, such a blast. Knowing that reporters didn't know...we made their job fun cause they didn't know where we were going next, they would just follow us and we would show up at say the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C. and we would publicize what it represented and how important it was for other Americans to get to be there. And if they couldn't be there, then live vicariously through us while we were there that day and we'll talk about it and educate America, cause too often, especially our young people, they're not getting that sense, in our schools, of the importance of so many of these historical sites. So it was a blast to be on  bus getting to travel the country to see these places. I would do that again in a heartbeat."

So in Palin's re-imagining of her 2011 bus trip, she was essentially trolling the press and tricking them into reporting about historical landmarks that are so unknown that they receive millions of visits from tourists, and school children, every single year.

Some of you may remember that one of the things that Palin educated America about was Paul Revere's famous ride.

Oh yeah, which made her road trip not so much an educational experience as a gold mine for comics and late night hosts. The best response to that gaffe was from Stephen Colbert who absolutely ran, or in this case rode, with it. (That is still one of he funniest bits I have ever seen in my life.)

Okay here's what I don't quite understand.

If I had an incident in my past where I had failed so spectacularly I would avoid ever mentioning it again. But Palin seems almost unaware that she demonstrated to the world the vastness of her ignorance. And seems instead to believe that she helped to improve our knowledge of these historical sites, and even drove tourists there who had never visited before.

You know marijuana just became legal here in Alaska, but I kind of think this is the result of Palin's total separation from reality that keeps her from realizing that she is a moronic simpleton and NOT a political candidate or self appointed professor of American History.

Sadly for her there are fewer, and fewer people who are ready to board her barge and travel down the river of denial with her.

Sarah Palin has another warning about Obamacare for us. Because after all what else does she have to do?

Looks like Palin got a head start on that whole legalizing pot in Alaska thing.

The folks over at Wonkette have released another Fartknocker Report.

Here is the video of Palin warning us that the Obamacare website is going to give our personal information to the Communists, or something like that.

"Hey remember the disastrous roll out of Obamacare?  Remember when Americans sat online for days to sign up on a broken website? A very expensive broken website? (Yes we do. Do you remember how that all got fixed?) Only to discover that they would have to pay more for less medical coverage, once they did log on and find the information. (Not true.) Well the Obamacare website was supposedly fixed, but that's not the whole story. As hard working Americans enter their confidential medical information that's being asked of them. Their social security numbers, addresses, as they plug all of that into the Obamacare site. Healthcare.gov, that site is putting their private information at risk of getting into the wrong hands." (Okay what is with that music?)

"Here is what's happening. We need to do something about this one. When someone enters their information on the Healthcare.gov website, Obamacare website, dozens of data firms can get pertinent details through embedded connections on the government site. Details like your identity, age, income, zip code, even whether you smoke or not, and lots of things that other people don't need to be knowing."

"And there's big money in all of this. This is the dill (sic), big money in being able to track potential customers. (I thought she was a supporter of capitalism.) Most people don't even notice these embedded connections which allows companies to secretly build profitable profiles on unassuming Americans who just simply wanted healthcare insurance."

(In other words it functions like virtually every other website on the internet in that it tracks your searches, your purchases, and your personal information, so that you receive targeted advertising opportunities.  How dare they!)

"Of course the Obamacare website has a little notice assuring users that no personal identifying information is collected. (Okay seriously what is it with that music?) Yeah well, they even put their policy there, that privacy policy in bold, but if even the press doubt this, even the Associate Press, they're doubting this you know that tells you something. When the AP sends their own reporters to investigate the claims of the so-called 'privacy policy' mm mm they discovered that the details about your age, salary, health details, your habits they're being collected. And they're being passed along to advertising and an analytics sites."

"Wow I guess even the liberal mainstream media, rawrr, they're getting a taste of what the rest of us have been tasting and feeling all along.  (Did she just meow?) Liberal, lamestream media, finally realizing that what we have been saying all along is true? (Yeah, nobody is realizing that.)
The Obama administration is incredibly comfortable lying to the American people."

(At this point the video flashes on Sean Hannity. I assume to give her audience a visual representation of a liar.)

"Now Associated Press, and other reporters, now do ya get it? And will you do something about it, knowing that this administration, this President, you problem at all lying to the American people."

You know I can never get over how Palin accuses the President, or others, of lying with a straight face. I mean really?

As it turns out Palin is a little late in getting her panties in a wad over this, as that AP report came out about a month ago.

In it they determined that yes there were third parties capable of gathering some information off of Healthcare.gov, but that they were NOT able to access your name, birth date or Social Security number. Any other information they might be able to determine would be based on your visits to other sites on the internet.

The report also revealed that so far there has been no evidence that anybody's personal information has been misused.

And if Palin had done her research she might have discovered that the Obama administration responded to that AP report in a matter of days and completely did away with those security flaws.

So what in the hell is Palin even talking about?

But hey Palin has been taking a lot of hits lately, so what else is she to do but go after her favorite punching bag....Obamacare.

All in all this is a rather bizarre video. The music they play over her words does not even come close to being appropriate, and feels like it was stolen from the soundtrack of a movie where somebody is being stalked by a killer.

And then there are the expressions. Yeah, you're going to have to just see those for yourself.

But it could be worse. At least we did not pay to see this crap.

In our most recent episode of "What is Sarah Palin wrong about today?" we have the Republican backed abortion bill.

Here let me drink this beverage first, and then I will get to writing a transcript. (An undertaking best accomplished under the influence of alcohol.)

Let's begin:

"Hey I often hear that members of the Establishment, they want the rest of us to just go away. Just kind of be quiet and leave them alone. Leave the business of government to them. And it's no wonder because that would mean that nobody's going to be watching when they do things like this. Uh tragically on the anniversary of Roe vs Wade, while the annual March for Life was taking place with tens of thousands of pro-life activists marching on D.C.. Republican Congressmen on Capitol Hill sold out the pro-life movement, by dropping the planned debate of a bill that would limit late term abortions. Except in the case of rape."

Now why did they do this? Why did they just drop it? Especially while so many pro-lifers were there, and busy, during that march on that significant anniversary? "

"Was it because the Congressmen and women, their constituents spoke out against the bill? Nooo. In fact the public is overwhelmingly in favor of limiting late term abortions. And is it any wonder? It's common sense. It's ethics."

"Polls show that even Americans who self identify as choice, they're against late term abortions. Which makes sense as I say."

"America has the most insanely lax abortion laws in the world when it comes to allowing late term abortions, right up until the baby is born.  (Not true, the Roe vs Wade case states that abortion is legal until the life of fetus is considered viable outside of its mother's womb. That was determined to be 28 weeks, or seven months.) That's not the case in like Europe of any other civilized corner of the world. "

"So again why did the GOP cave on this? Well, apparently they’re afraid of being labeled anti-woman or offending the liberal media who might write bad things about them. Aw, boo hoo! If Republican office holders can't even advocate against late term abortions, for a five month old baby in the womb that's viable enough to live outside the womb well then what will they stand up for? (Okay now potential babies are NOT considered five months old while still in utero. They are unborn fetuses, and a fetus at five months is NOT considered viable.) If they can't stand up for this?"

"Our country can't afford to have the GOP constantly ducking for cover. We have too many important challenges in need of leadership. And the Republican leaders in Congress they need to stand strong. If they don't well the President's going to keep walking all over them, and all over our Constitution. And all over the American dream."

"So it's time to grow a backbone GOP. Stand tall and others will stand with you,"

Okay now here's the thing.

This bill was not killed by Congressmen ducking for cover, fearful that the liberal press might write bad things about them.

It was stopped by two strong willed CongressWOMEN who took offense at the language of the bill, and thought it discriminated against rape victims.

Here was a statement by one of the women, Rep. Susan Brooks of Indiana:  

Brooks said she had concerns about the bill's requirement that exceptions for rape and incest apply only if the woman reported the assaults to police.

You know in the case of Alaska native women, they may not receive prenatal care until late into their pregnancies, and would be terrified to report a rape until they felt safe from their attacker.

So essentially Palin's position would ill serve her fellow Alaskan women, and force many of them to give birth to the child of their attacker. Who quite often turns out to be a family member.

This bill was stopped by female politicians that, despite being Republicans, were able to empathize with other women, and not put party before their obligation to protect the rights of their constituents.

And that is something that Sarah Palin, as Governor of Alaska, failed to do repeatedly. 

(H/T to Wonkette.)

On a similar topic the folks over at News Corpse have noticed that Palin has been fairly stingy with content on her subscription channel, and are pointing out that she has not offered anything new for almost ten days now.

And they're right.

The newest Fartknocker finds a tie dyed Sarah Palin resplendent in rhinestones and the usual mooseshit.

The first thing I noticed is that a the beginning of the video it shows a number of scenes with Palin interacting with Trig (Well somebody's been visiting IM lately.) and working with food. (Eeew.)

Yeah, like we buy that.

Here is what Wonkette had to say about this "Ask Me Anything" segment: 

First, the numbers: Palin published just under six minutes of video content in the last week, which means she’s back to running the laziest grift in American politics. More than half of this week’s content centers on one question from “John,” who writes in to Ask Sarah Anything. (Incidentally, Palin’s Ask Me Anything segments now have a new acoustic intro; it sounds more like Prairie Home Companion‘s interludes, only somehow more self-righteous, if that’s even possible.) Here is John’s question, with all punctuation and capitalization sic’d from the original. 

“There was a ‘gift’ in the Cromnibus Bill for the ‘too big to fail’ banks that puts the taxpayer on the hook for their speculation in derivatives. Given the pain, harm and loss that Americans suffered from the last financial collapse, made worse by the policies of Mr. Obama and his allies in Congress, and as this proposal greatly increases the likelihood of another financial collapse with even more devastating consequences, will the members of the Senate forego the blandishments and largesse of the financial sector and stand up for ‘the Forgotten Man,’ or will they forsake their duty as public servants? What are your thoughts?” 

The last financial crisis was made worse by President Obama?  Well somebody is certainly getting all of their information from Fox News.

Palin stumbles through her answer in her usual unprepared state, with her voice rising to a high pitched squeal a couple of times in an attempt to appear cute.

She also voices some surprise at how "sleazy politicians behave" which means somewhere there is a kettle screaming "stop calling me black" in her direction.

The next question posed to Palin is "Do you have a candidate in mind (for 2016) that you feel would protect the constitution?"

Now of course this poor idiot is hoping that Palin herself will declare that SHE is finally ready to declare her candidacy and save the country from the reasonable and incredibly helpful policies of Barack Obama, and drag us into another unnecessary war and of course financial ruin.

But dammit that is not the way this game is played. So instead she says the following:

"It's too early really to say. (In other words let's see how things go so that I can jump on at the last minute and pretend that I am a king maker.) A lot of us are considering what, any of us are going to do in 2016. (But here let me wiggle my wrinkled ass in your face again so that you don't stop sending me money.) The bench there of candidates is very flexible. (WTF?) I can say this though, we need a Reagan-ite candidate. We need bold conservative colors, not pale establishment pastels. (Once again WTF?)

Usually it is always a safe bet for conservatives to bring up Ronald Reagan, but I don't think that using Ronnie as a metaphor for a painter's palette really makes a whole lot of sense.

However I have to admit that I spent much of the video trying to figure out just what in the hell Palin is wearing. I think it was an unbuttoned tie dye shirt thrown on over some slinky nightgown.

I assume that she was attempting to draw attention to her chest but once your eyes wandered there all you saw was a flattened breast bone covered by precancerous skin, and some inflatable breasts working desperately to create the illusion of cleavage.

I think Palin needs to decide if she wants to be taken seriously as a political pundit, or go all in as a cam girl on Chaturbate where she can show off her dried up old cootchie for some real money.

Sarah Palin takes four minutes to tell her subscribers that she does not know what she thinks about term limits.

I was actually looking for something else when I stumbled across this episode of "Ask Me Anything" from the Sarah Palin Channel.

Essentially it demonstrates the kind of meandering, undisciplined manner in which Palin actually ponders questions that she does not understand, when there is no script in front of her to keep her focused.

You might think that she would do a little research, and have an actual response, before turning on the cameras. But nope, that is how the Leftists respond to questions, not crazy self described "constitutional conservatives."

My favorite part is that she is so disinterested in the topic that in the last moments she actually pulls out her cell phone and starts checking it while she is still talking.

And remember, people are paying her to provide this kind of content.

Now compare that to her recent appearance on Fox News yesterday when she was still pushing for John Boehner to be replaced.

Can you believe she said "balls to the walls?" So classy.

Did you see her bounce up and smile from ear to ear when Stuart Varney suggests that she won her debate against PETA?

Sickening.

Especially after she doubled down on the "At least Trig didn't eat the dog" remark.