President Obama's Inauguration Day letter to Donald Trump will make you miss him more than ever.

Here is the full letter courtesy of CNN:  

Dear Mr. President - 

Congratulations on a remarkable run. Millions have placed their hopes in you, and all of us, regardless of party, should hope for expanded prosperity and security during your tenure. 

This is a unique office, without a clear blueprint for success, so I don't know that any advice from me will be particularly helpful. Still, let me offer a few reflections from the past 8 years. 

First, we've both been blessed, in different ways, with great good fortune. Not everyone is so lucky. It's up to us to do everything we can (to) build more ladders of success for every child and family that's willing to work hard. 

Second, American leadership in this world really is indispensable. It's up to us, through action and example, to sustain the international order that's expanded steadily since the end of the Cold War, and upon which our own wealth and safety depend. 

Third, we are just temporary occupants of this office. That makes us guardians of those democratic institutions and traditions -- like rule of law, separation of powers, equal protection and civil liberties -- that our forebears fought and bled for. Regardless of the push and pull of daily politics, it's up to us to leave those instruments of our democracy at least as strong as we found them. 

And finally, take time, in the rush of events and responsibilities, for friends and family. They'll get you through the inevitable rough patches. 

Michelle and I wish you and Melania the very best as you embark on this great adventure, and know that we stand ready to help in any ways which we can. 

Good luck and Godspeed, 

BO

Jesus Christ, that made me choke up.

Is that normal or am I becoming some sappy old guy who breaks down during sentimental car advertisements and seeing people greeting loved ones at the airport?

I would like to point out that it appears that Trump ignored every piece of advice that President Obama gave him except maybe the last part about family and friends.

Which should not be at all surprising since Trump treats everything that Obama touched as if it has competent presidential cooties for something.

Of course the sad part is that if Trump had possessed the intelligence to embrace that advice his presidency would be in much better shape.

Take heart America, Barack Obama is still working behind the scenes to make things better.

Courtesy of The Hill: 

Former President Obama is involved in discussions about the future of the Democratic Party, sources close to the former president tell The Hill. 

Since leaving office, he has held meetings — on a by-request basis — with a handful of House and Senate lawmakers in his office in Washington’s West End and over the phone. 

In recent months, for example, he sat down one-on-one with freshman Sen. Chris Van Hollen (D-Md.), according to a Democrat familiar with the meeting. 

He has also met with and has had phone conversations with Democratic National Committee Chairman Tom Perez throughout the spring, according to two sources. 

“Hey man, it's only the future of the world in your hands,” Obama joked with Perez in one conversation, according to a DNC aide. Obama’s former political adviser David Simas, who is now the CEO of the Obama Foundation, has also been making a string of calls to DNC officials in recent months. 

Sources familiar with Obama’s meetings with members of Congress declined to offer the names of all of the lawmakers he has met with, saying the sessions were meant to be private. 

This may sound a little silly, but just reading this helped ease my troubled brow.

The time that I felt the very best about my country, the time that I was most proud to be an American, was when this man was in office.

So something about knowing that he is not gone, but instead in the background giving advice to the people who are working to stall Donald Trump's policies, and who someday will return to poser, just gives me a little hope.

And let's be honest, we could all use a little hope right about now.

Bill Cosby, whose sexual assault case resulted in a mistrial, will be giving town halls on how to avoid being accused of sexual assault. I have an idea.

Courtesy of WaPo: 

Just days after a judge declared a mistrial in Bill Cosby’s sexual assault case, his publicists have revealed what he plans to do next — a national tour educating young people on sexual assault — specifically, on how to avoid getting accused of sexual assault. 

“Mr. Cosby wants to get back to work,” spokesman Andrew Wyatt told an Alabama TV anchor Wednesday morning. “We are now planning town halls.” 

“Really?” responded the WBRC Fox 6 News anchor in Birmingham.

There was a hint of skepticism in the anchor’s voice, which ballooned into full incredulousness from women’s groups and victims’ advocates Thursday when news of Cosby’s plans began to spread. 

“It would be more useful if Mr. Cosby would spend time talking with people about how not to commit sexual assault in the first place,” Jodi Omear, vice president of communications for the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) told Newsweek. 

As Wyatt explained it, these town halls will educate young people and married men on the law and the dangers they face from accusations of sexual assault.

You ever read anything that seems so crazy that you cannot believe it's true?

Because that seems to be happening to me all of the time lately.

When I first heard about this I had the obvious reaction on Twitter.

I think point one in his talk about avoiding accusations of sexual assault might be don't sexually assault people. https://t.co/yweK2bQfmv

— Gryphen 2009 (@Gryphen2009) June 23, 2017

I don't know, just seems logical to me. 

But no in this age of Trump, this man is literally going to be talking about how young people, mostly men I'm guessing, can avoid being "accused" of sexual assault as if this is something that happens all of the time through no fault of their own. 

So I assume his talk will not include, "Hey don't drug their drinks and then rape them."

But will be more along the lines of "Hey once you drug their drinks and then rape them, make sure to wipe off any fingerprints and remove all traces of your DNA."

Jesus, what the hell is happening to our world?

Your laugh out loud post of the morning. An article entitled "6 Reasons Millennials Should Bring On The Babies Like Bristol Palin." No it is not a joke.

I first saw this mentioned over on the Grizzled Granny's Facebook page, who actually linked to her new favorite conservative fake news site.

But as it turned out they were actually linking to this site where the article originated.

Here are the 6 reasons given for why millennials should become baby factories like Bristol:

1. You Can Survive Public Shaming 

Palin has already endured enough public humiliation to last a lifetime. Most pregnant teens don’t have to deal with both pregnancy hormones and the intense scrutiny of a presidential campaign simultaneously. And if we’re being honest, most of us didn’t have the best taste in high school. We likely wasted time on boys who wouldn’t grow up to be husband and father material. Palin lived it all in the spotlight, and she’s still here. That takes guts.

Okay first off that sounds like it could have been written by that batshit crazy Palin troll Alicia.

Secondly much of Bristol's public humiliation she brought on herself.

I had every intention of ignoring her after her mother lost the 2008 election.

However she then started fighting Levi for custody of his son, appeared in a trashy reality show, wrote a crappy book, and started allowing her mother to use her identity to spread her misinformation on a blog. 

That made Bristol fair game in my book.

2. Live Your Values 

What? No seriously, what? 

I know an awful lot about the Palins, and their values as far as I can tell have always been "Let me get mine and screw the rest of you."

Or perhaps I am not being fair.

Maybe their values were properly demonstrated by Bristol when she told Levi that he would never see his son again if he did not do what she wanted. Or perhaps by Sarah Palin when she lied about the Affordable Care Act having "death panels." Or perhaps by Track Palin when he was beating his girlfriend black and blue.

Are those the values for which Bristol Palin and her family should be celebrated?

3. Learn From Your Mistakes 

Really seems like that one took her awhile.

4. Embrace the Blessings of Family 

Which Bristol did when she referred to Sailor's conception as a "mistake," even though we are to believe it was a baby created with her then fiance who she eventually married?

Am I misunderstanding the word "embrace" here?  

5. Create the Family You Want 

Yes whenever possible trick a Medal of Honor winner into marrying you, and rescuing your tabloid style reputation by posing for Instagram pictures indicating that you are a completely changed person now. (Also helps if your mother can hire some no name writer to post an article like this one on your behalf.) 

6. Be Patriotic and Multiply 

Not everyone wants be a parent, but for those of us who do — and don’t face fertility challenges — it makes sense to max out on the number of children your family can handle emotionally, financially, spiritually, and otherwise. After all, there’s no greater statement of optimism about the future than having a baby.

Okay this one requires a more serious response. 

While I would never tell people that they should not have children, the idea of popping them out like bunnies is incredibly selfish considering that our planet is severely overpopulated already and that adding more mouths to feed adds to a burden that we are barely able to handle as it is.

Besides the last thing that civilization needs is more poorly educated, poorly behaved Palin progeny running around.

If I were arrogant enough to offer advice to the Millennials it would be to do almost everything the exact opposite of how Bristol Palin did them.

For instance:

Use birth control when having sex.

Don't tell the world you are a good little Christian while acting the exact opposite in private.

Take responsibility for your mistakes, and don't blame everybody else when they happen.

Actually work for a living and don't live off of the ignorance of others.

Don't keep your children from seeing their other parent.

And finally, educate yourself as much as possible, because the world is becoming an ever more complicated place and ignorant people, while fun to mock, are only going to get to find themselves left behind.

Are just some things I would suggest if I were arrogant enough to offer advice.

In a reverse of 2008 this time it's the grandparents trying to get the kids to vote for Hillary Clinton.

Courtesy of Daily Kos:

Remember in 2008 when Sarah Silverman made a video called “The Great Schlep” about visiting your grandparents in Florida to make sure they would vote for Obama? Well, now the tables have turned. 

A group called Bend the Arc Jewish Action has made a video where it’s “bubbes and zaydes who are stepping up to push the younger generation to vote for Hillary Clinton,” according to a story in Advertising Age. 

“Join the Jewish Movement to Defeat Trump,” says the group’s website, which uses the hashtag #WeveSeenThisBefore. In a video, Jewish grandparents promise to “Rise From the Dead and Haunt Their Grandchildren if They Don’t Vote for Hillary Clinton.”

Okay that last part with the sheet really cracked me up.

And all kidding aside this is something that really needs to happen, grandparents and parents explaining to their children just how much is on the line with this election.

Good news folks, Bristol Palin has marriage all figured out now.

Courtesy of Bristol's ghostwritten blog:

My marriage is far from perfect. Dakota and I learn things about each other everyday. Our parents and friends weren’t lying when they warned us that it will be work! I think we both understand that now. 

Nothing has been more difficult, and yet rewarding, than marriage. It reminds me so much of parenting. It’s hard at times, but also the greatest and most precious gift!

Bristol then goes on to offer up some marriage quote pablum that really does not offer anything of any use.

Like this one:

Yeah anybody who thinks that marriage is only about three things has never been married.

Now look I recognize that considering my unfortunate experience with marriage I am the last person to give anybody any advice, however one thing I do know is that after only three months of marriage, you know NOTHING about being married.

And just in case you are wondering why Bristol is working so hard to give the impression that everything in her marriage is going perfectly, it is because the exact opposite appears to be the case.

According to the buzz in Wasilla the honeymoon stage has come to a screeching halt and the fact that they are now stuck with each other has caused more than a little friction between the lovebirds.

And apparently those Gino texts did not help matters much.

However much like Sarah and Todd, Bristol and Dakota are determined not to give any tabloids (Or know it all bloggers) the pleasure of spouting "I told you so's"  so they are working to keep things on the down low in the hopes that everything will work out in the end.

Now before the inevitable trolls slither over here claiming that these are private people and should be left alone, let me remind them that this post is in response to Bristol's post about making a happy marriage.

If she does not want to be ridiculed and called out over her bullshit, then she should resist the urge to give parenting, abstinence, or marriage advice ever again. Because we know better.

Simply put you do not stand in front of your house encased in flames and give your neighbors fire safety tips.

So for Labor Day apparently Franklin Graham had Sarah Palin, her daughter, and her new son-in-law giving marital advice to veterans and their spouses. Seriously.

Courtesy of the Samaritan's Purse website:

The veterans participating in the Operation Heal Our Patriots project this week are suffering with a variety of injuries and health issues, including an amputation, shrapnel to the back, traumatic brain injury, and post-traumatic stress disorder. (Gee, you would have thought they had suffered enough, but nope they still had to hear Palin speak.)

Palin and Meyer commended them for their service to our nation. 

“I can’t think of any place I’d rather be than here with some of America’s finest heroes,” Palin said. “You and your spouses have sacrificed so much for this country. My oldest son is in the military and I know that it is not easy on the soldier or the spouse when the deployment is finished. 

“That’s why a ministry like Samaritan Purse’s Operation Heal our Patriots is needed so badly. Marriage is inherently challenging, and the stress of military service can add to that.”

Palin encouraged the soldiers and their spouses to keep a firm commitment to their marriage, and never give up on each other. 

“This week, you’re going to learn the process for your marriage to endure the tough times,” she said, “and have the tools to make it work. You have to give all over to God and put it in His hands. Keep your souls open to Him. It will change your life.”

So Sarah Palin is giving folks advice on keeping a marriage strong?

What did she suggest, separate houses and an iron clad legal agreement?

Palin also dragged Dakota along to give her that military cred which her girlfriend beating son simply refuses to provide.

Of course that was yesterday when they were working to buoy up the Palin mythology 2.0, and then today arrived and we all got to reminisce about the day when the truth about the family oozed into the public's consciousness.

The article only quotes Meyer as saying this: 

“No matter how many deployments you have, you come back from battle a changed person,” he said. “Take the time here to work together, and you can leave with a better marriage.”

However on his Facebook page the other day Dakota had a more pointed idea of what might make a marriage stronger.

 Gee I can't imagine what might have inspired him to post that.

After all by all accounts his new wife has had a handle on the whole sex part of marriage for quite a number of years now.  It's the providing sex ONLY to her partner that always seemed to be the issue.

Once again, from what I hear.

Pat Robertson suggests grandparent get grandchild away from atheist parent. Oh yeah, that's a good plan.

Courtesy of Raw Story:  

“Pat, I am very concerned because this past weekend my 6-year-old grandson said his dad told him God and Jesus were not real and were just made up to scare people about dying,” a viewer named Elizabeth explained to Robertson in an email. 

Elizabeth said that she tried to “explain the truth” to her grandson but he wouldn’t believe her. 

“I’m worried for my grandson’s soul,” she wrote. 

“You should be,” Robertson agreed. “If there’s any way you can get that child away from that… His father telling him that. I don’t know, but if there’s any way you can get him enrolled in a Christian school or get him into some, you know, they have daily vacation Bible school and things.” 

“There’s all kinds of things you could do to kind of get him into some positive influences,” he noted.

What Pat Robertson really wanted to say: "Yes if there were any way you could get this child away from their parent so that you could indoctrinate them into your stone age superstitious nonsense that would be great. Oh and don't forget to send me money!"  

I mean sure taking the child from his home might potentially traumatize them, and secretly enrolling him in a Christian summer camp would undoubtedly screw up this grandmother's relationship with the boy's father, but does any of that really count when there is even one child who might be using that Satanic critical thinking voodoo?

Remember if you do not get them young it becomes increasingly difficult to convince them to buy into your bullshit.

George W. Bush is giving advice to President Obama on dealing with ISIS, instead of sitting in a prison cell as he should be.

Courtesy of Think Progress: 

In an interview published Friday, former President George W. Bush suggested that the United States will have to deploy combat troops to Iraq to defeat the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria (ISIS). 

Bush, more than six years after leaving office, was asked by the Sheldon Adelson-owned Israel Hayom newspaper, “is it possible to defeat ISIS in Syria and Iraq without boots on the ground?” 

“The president will have to make that determination,” he replied. “My position was that you need to have boots on the ground.” The former president described how a “fair number of people” were pushing him to get out of Iraq, that it was impossible to defeat al-Qaida. He said he chose the opposite, to increase troop levels. 

“I think history will show that al-Qaida in Iraq was defeated. And so I chose the path of boots on the ground. We will see whether or not our government adjusts to the realities on the ground.”

No, history will show that America created al -Qaida in the 70's and 80's, and that George W. Bush single-handedly created ISIS by dissolving Saddam Hussein's army and replacing them with poorly trained amateurs.

The very idea that this asshole feels that he can offer AN Y advice on dealing with problems in Iraq or the Middle East angers me to my core.

George W. Bush is the worst thing to happen to this country since...since...yeah pretty much the worst thing to happen to this country.

Which makes the fact that he now polls better than President Obama almost inconceivable.

For any of you kids out there, here are the facts.

George W. Bush was an illegitimate President, who started illegitimate wars, for illegitimate reasons.

In my opinion this man should be cowering in a prison shower somewhere, and NOT handing out advice to anybody, ESPECIALLY the man who is still struggling to clean up the shit pile he left behind when his presidency came to an end.

Pat Robertson believes that gays will soon die out because they cannot reproduce. Not sure what is more troubling, his understanding of sexuality or of history.

Courtesy of New Now Next:  

The 700 Club televangelist took a call recently from woman complaining that her church forbids dating or marriage—that even showing interest in the opposite sex is a “sin.” 

Robertson told the woman to “run” from her church before everyone dies out. 

“You know, those who are homosexual will die out because they don’t reproduce. You have to have heterosexual sex to reproduce,” he opined. “Same thing with that church— it’s doomed, it’s going to die out because it’s the most nonsensical thing I’ve heard in a long time.”

While I agree with Robertson that this woman needs to leave her church immediately (Actually leaving ALL churches might not be a bad plan), his contention that homosexuality will die out because they cannot produce offspring together is truly ignorant.

As just about everybody EXCEPT Pat Robertson already knows straight parents produce gay children and have been doing so since the beginning of time.

In fact if Robertson were to open a book that does not begin with the words "In the beginning.." he might realize that teh gays have existed well before the establishment of Christianity, Judaism, or even monotheism.

In fact they are the one constant that ties ALL societies, ethnicities, and past civilizations together.

Suggesting that gay folks will soon die out is like suggesting that Pat Robertson will soon start saying things that are not incredibly stupid.

Not gonna happen.

Why Republicans make terrible advice columnists.

Yep, sounds about right to me.

(H/T to the Daily Kos.)

Columnist Amy Dickinson provides best response ever to parent asking how to keep her child from being gay.

How do you respond to your child being gay?

Why you love them of course.

Psst! Hey ladies. Pat Robertson has some advice for you on how to get over an infidelity and keep your man from ever cheating on you again. Spoiler alert, it has to do with you lowering your expectations and taking one for the team.

"Stop talking about the cheating. He cheated on you, well he's a man."

Yeah how can it be HIS fault? He's JUST a man.

"So what you do is focus on why you married him in the first place. On what he does good. Does he provide a home for you to live in? Does he provide food for you to eat? Does he provide clothes for you to wear? "

For sure, if the guy buys stuff for you, lets you live in his house, and feeds you, what's a little cheating? I mean its not like he betrayed his promise to you or anything. Wait.....

Robertson then goes on to suggest to the woman that SHE reach out to him, touch his face and hold his hand, look into his eyes and talk to him, and essentially fix the problem of HIS infidelity as if it was all HER fault.

Then as if that was not demeaning enough he completely excuses the man's behavior by saying that "Like it or not males have a tendency to wander a little bit." And that SHE needs to make the home so "wonderful" (I assume this means give in to every sexual demand or impulse that occurs to him.) that he never wants to wander again.

Apparently Robertson is unaware that cheating is not restricted to the male partner in a marriage, and that those who ignore the cheating and act like it does not bother them, while continuing to love and "honor" their partner, are destined to get cheated on again. And again. And again.

Okay WHO in their right mind would take marriage advice from an old fossil like Pat Robertson anyway? I'm surprised he did not suggest the woman churn some more butter and do a better job of darning his socks in order to save the marraige.

(H/T to Right Wing Watch.)

Darn that Satan always telling woman it's okay to think for themselves, pursue a career, or eat an appple.

I know what you are thinking, "Gryphen surely you know that Christian church does not hold such antiquated ideas of a woman's role these day,"

Hmm maybe you're right, let me check with famous Christian spokesperson Pat Robertson.

Oh, yeah that is MUCH better!

P.S. By the way, since WHEN does Pat Robertson answers questions in Maxim magazine?

Paul Ryan asked about receiving advice from Sarah Palin. "I don't really know her."

"What? I look like an idiot to you?"

During an interview with Bloomberg TV Paul Ryan was reminded that the had a debate coming up with Joe Biden and was asked if he had received any "advice from Sarah Palin?"

 “No, I haven’t. I don’t really know her,” Ryan said. “I met her once a few years ago. I haven’t really given a thought of what I would do differently." 

Somehow, even though Ryan is crashing and burning all on his own, I can ONLY imagine any advice that Palin would provide would simply accelerate the collapse of the Romney/Ryan ticket. Anybody who has even casually paid attention to the demise of HER political aspirations would know to stay as far away as possible from the Lunatic from Lake Lucille.

After all what is she going to tell him?

"Wink, Americans like it when you flirt"

"Try not to call Joe Biden, O'Biden."

"Wear a tight skirt so nobody hears how stupid you answers are."

"Constantly hold up a baby with Down syndrome to deflect criticism."

Yeah EVEN Paul Ryan is not stupid enough to take any advice from this woman.

Photo courtesy of Nancy French.

Pretty sure he won't be taking any parenting advice from her either.

Sarah Palin tells the Romney/Ryan ticket to "Go Rogue." Because, you know, that worked out so well for her.

Here is the verbal diarrhea courtesy of the Weekly Standard:

"With so much at stake in this election, both Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan should 'go rogue' and not hold back from telling the American people the true state of our economy and national security," says Palin. "They need to continue to find ways to break through the filter of the liberal media to communicate their message of reform." 

Palin also suggests that Romney and Ryan can be responsible for an epiphany on this country's fiscal standing. "America desperately needs to have a 'come to Jesus' moment in discussing our big dysfunctional, disconnected, and debt-ridden federal government," says Palin. 

"It is nothing short of appalling that President Obama couldn't even remember how much our national debt is during his interview with David Letterman the other night. (Actually the President knows all too well what the number is today, however the question he was asked was what was the size of the debt when he took office. And his answer was he did not remember what the number was "precisely." Not quite the same thing now is it?) Even my 10-year-old daughter knows that it's $16 trillion, and unlike Obama, she's not responsible for adding trillions to it. (Not to nitpick, but since we ARE discussing numbers, it seems reasonable to point out that Piper's birth date is March 19th, 2001, making her 11 years old NOT 10. But hey carry on lecturing the President on his math.) Obama casually told America that we don't have to worry about our debt in the 'short term.' Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan need to ask him how long that 'short term' will last." 

Palin adds that Romney and Ryan are being "counted on" to get this right. 

"At the founding of our country, a great American patriot wrote, 'If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace,'" says Palin. (That quote by the way was from Thomas Paine, who was a famous Freethinker, who wrote a book entitled "The Age of Reason" which was essentially a condemnation of organized religions. Who wants to bet the moron did not know that?)"Obama's motto seems to be, 'Let the good times roll in my day. The kids can deal with the catastrophic bankruptcy in theirs.' That's no way for the leader of a great nation to behave, and I hope Paul Ryan and Mitt Romney continue to call him out on it. Generations of American children are counting on them."

I wonder if she means the same generation of American children who would no longer have access to  Medicare once Ryan's budget plan made it a voucher system, which would dramatically increase medical costs and remove the protections now in place for their grandparents?

Or perhaps she means the children who don't have one of their parents because they were killed in one of the wars unnecessarily started by the LAST Republican administration?

No crazy lady, President Obama has worked his ass off to protect the future of our children, and the country that they hold dear.  And if you  weren't such an ideologically driven, barely educated moron, perhaps YOU could figure that out as well.

Epic Fail Klondike Kardashian!