Salon suggests the obvious, that it is time to finally shut down the GOP completely.

Courtesy of Salon:  

Trump, quite literally, is an actor; he’s delivering the lines his audience (the Republican base) wants to hear. But he’s not the first of his kind. He’s doing what many Republicans have done in recent years: pretend to run for president in order to promote his personal brand. Trump is playing a role previously filled by people like Herman Cain and Michele Bachmann, both of whom, at one point, were front-runners in the race for the Republican nomination. And of course there’s Sarah Palin, the failed reality-TV star and once half-lucid part-time governor of Alaska who Republicans thought capable of running the country. 

Everyone (well, almost everyone) acknowledges that Trump is a bloviating clown totally unfit for public office, but is he really that much different than Herman Cain or Sarah Palin? None of these people have any business running for president or vice president or any other office. Bachmann, admittedly, was at least an experienced member of Congress, but her campaign was thoroughly unserious. Like so many of her fellow Republicans, Bachmann became a Pez dispenser of fatuous Fox News talking points – and that’s the problem. 

These people exist in the Republican Party for a reason: the GOP sold its soul to Fox News and the broader conservative mediascape years ago. Republicans are now constrained by these forces, which manufacture unhinged, absolutist narratives that dominate discourse in the party. Republicans, as a result, can’t afford to compromise or propose realistic policies – the zealots won’t let them. Worse still, any Republican who dares to step out of line gets pummeled on Fox News for weeks on end. In the face of such pressure, is it any wonder the GOP has become what it has? 

The GOP, in many respects, is no longer a legitimate governing party. They’ve become a self-perpetuating hype machine, a jobs program for conservative political entrepreneurs. When running for office, Republicans are forced to say and do stupid things in order appease their disconnected base, whose worldview is shaped almost exclusively by conservative media. When elected, Republicans continue to say and do stupid things – and for the same reasons. This is what they’ve become. Trump didn’t emerge wondrously out of a whirlwind; he’s an authentic expression of the contemporary Republican Party. If he wasn’t, he would have been laughed out of the room, not catapulted to the top of the polls by Republican voters.

Salon goes on to point out that the Republican party was not always brimming over with  right wing lunatics, and at one time actually had some reasonable ideas for the country. (I know, so hard to believe isn't it?.)

The thing about contemplating the extinction of the Republican party from the point of view of a liberal political blogger like myself is that a part of me wants to stand on the roof of my house shirtless and shout "VICTORY!" over and over at the top of my lungs, but the more logical part of me is more than a little terrified at the prospect.

Personally I think that closing up the Republican shop would be a really bad thing for the country as ANY political party given free rein could not help but to become corrupt and totalitarian over time. (And yes Democrats that certainly includes us.)

However as of right now I don't exactly know what the GOP can do to repair their image, nor do I see a viable political party waiting in the wings to take their place if they should fade away into the mists of history.

That leaves the kind of uncertainty in this country which allows truly horrible political operatives to rise up into powerful positions and for citizens to totally lose faith in their political system altogether.

As bad as the continued existence of the Republican party in its current form might be for the nation, the alternative could in fact be far worse.

Mr. "9-9-9" follows in Sarah Palin's footsteps. No his family didn't start a drunken brawl, he started "The Herman Cain Channel."

Courtesy of Mediaite: 

Former Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain is giving it another go at web TV. 

On Monday he debuted “The Herman Cain Channel,” which comes just two months after the launch of “The Sarah Palin Channel,” and more than a year after the failure of Cain’s first web TV venture, “Cain TV.” 

In a blog post, Cain says he’ll be charging $9.99 per month to subscribe to The Herman Cain Channel, a deliberate reference to his famous “9-9-9″ tax plan, which he touted when running for president in 2012. “You know me. You know how I like to express myself,” Cain says in the post. 

“You know I like to have fun in doing so. You know how I feel about this country, its problems and the solutions that are needed. Much of the political class finds this approach ‘odd’ because it’s not how they do things. But with this model, you and I don’t need them! We can have our own channel, just between us, and we can have a great time with it.”

Damn these people are really focusing on an ever decreasing pool of idiots aren't they?

After all who is going to pay $9.99 to here this blowhard bloviate about things he clearly does not understand?

I mean at least Palin has the teabagger perverts who are using her to fuel their fantasies while they mentally undress her and imagine her stomping on their tiny "freedom fighters" with her Naughty Monkey Pumps.

I wonder if TAPP will fight as aggressively to protect Cain's video content as they are to protect the world from hearing the ignorant babble falling out of Palin's red ringed maw?

Herman Cain's website provides argument that Hillary Clinton is unfit to serve as President, and in fact a certain half term ex-governor has a more impressive resume.

You remember Herman Cain right?

He of the numerous sexual assault allegations, the ridiculous 9-9-9 tax plan, and this quote:"I'm ready for the 'gotcha' questions and they're already starting to come. And when they ask me who is the president of Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan I'm going to say, you know, I don't know. Do you know? And then I'm going to say, 'How's that going to create one job?'"

Oh yeah, who could forget him?

Well he has a website that only Right Wing loons visit, called Cain TV.

As I said not too many serious people visit his site, however earlier today one of his contributors, a Dan Calabrese, wrote a post claiming that Hillary does not have the experience necessary to run the country.

I know right?

Here is the meat of his "point."

Her entire political persona is a fraud, the notion of her as a plausible president of the United States exposed as mythical when you look for actual accomplishments on her record and find that there simply isn't anything there. Hillary's resume appears impressive until you realize a) she didn't achieve anything of note in the positions she held; and b) she only got them in the first place for the purpose of positioning herself to run for president.

Yes the ex-Senator, ex-Secretary of State, and spouse of an ex-President. simply has NO experience that one would find helpful in running the country. Tell me another one Mr. Calabrese.

And like a fool he does:

By the way, in a half-term as Alaska governor, Sarah Palin could tout far more achievement than Hillary has ever had.

As if you required another reason to believe that Calabrese was a slobbering moron.

Now you all probably know that it is my not so secret fantasy to see a debate between Hillary and Snowdrift Snooki, but you also know that will never happen.

But hey if the GOP actually splits down the middle, and the Teabaggers decide to run their OWN candidate...well man can dream can't he?

Rand Paul to give Teabagger rebuttal to President Obama's SOTU speech. Republicans everywhere prepare to facepalm.

"No seriously. What the hell is on my head?"

Courtesy of Tea Party Express:  

Tea Party Express, the nation’s largest tea party political action committee, will host the Tea Party response to President Obama’s State of the Union Address directly following the Republican response by Senator Marco Rubio. Senator Rand Paul will deliver the Tea Party response at the National Press Club in Washington, D.C. 

Tea Party Express Chairman Amy Kremer said, “We are excited to have Senator Paul deliver the 3rd Tea Party State of the Union response next week. Americans are fed up with Washington politics that fail to address America’s fiscal woes. Tea Party Express has called for reducing the size, cost, and intrusiveness of the federal government, and we have stood strongly for pro-growth policies to get the economy growing and job creation increased. 

“Since the President has been re-elected, the debt has continued to skyrocket and unemployment has ticked up (Both of those are factual inaccurate by the way.), but he has offered no solutions and has shown no leadership. In contrast, Senator Rand Paul has put forth solutions that would spur economic growth and rein in Washington’s out-of-control spending. We are excited that Senator Paul, a conservative leader and strong voice for the Tea Party movement, will be offering our perspective on the state of the union. 

“We are happy to see that the Republicans have selected Tea Party conservative Senator Marco Rubio to deliver their response. Both Senator Rubio and Senator Paul will articulate pro-growth messages that will resonate with the American people” Kremer concluded.

Personally I welcome Rand Paul's contribution to the debate which is to help illustrate how impressive our President is by having somebody insignificant challenge him publicly.

By the way isn't Marco Rubio ALSO a Teabagger? I guess after the GOP cleaned him up and taught him to tie his own shoes he is just not fringe enough to represent people who wear tricorner hats and dangle tea bags in front of their face.

Classy!

I can only hope that THIS speech by "Named after that lady who wrote Atlas Shrugged" Paul will be as entertaining as Michele Bachmann's speech in 2011. (I especially enjoyed how she looked off camera as she delivered it.)

Oh well I am sure that Paul will do a magnificent job, and will know how he did by the sound all across the country of one hand clapping.

(H/T to Politicususa)

Politico chooses the 10 best viral political videos of 2012. See if you agree.

Oh yeah!  I had almost forgotten about SOME of those!

You can read more about these videos, and many others NOT included among the selections above, over at Politico:

A trip down memory lane, and a terrifying peek into our possible future.

Is anybody really still having trouble making a choice here? Really?

The Palin curse continues and even knocks the Today Show off of a 16 year winning streak.

Of course I'm popular! Who else gets asked to autograph a baby?

Courtesy of Media Coder:

ABC’s “Good Morning America” appears to have prevailed over NBC’s “Today” show in weekly viewership for the first time in over 16 years. 

Preliminary Nielsen ratings show that “GMA” had an average of 5,147,000 total viewers for the week of April 9 — 13,000 more than the “Today” show, which averaged 5,134,000. 

“Today” still led “GMA” by more than 250,000 viewers between the ages 25 to 54, the key demographic for advertisers. But by edging out “Today” among total viewers, “GMA” has at least briefly accomplished what has been the top priority of ABC News: to put an end to its rival’s winning streak. “GMA” had not won a week outright since December 1995.

Palin apologists are going to say that during Palin's Tuesday appearance the Today Show won the day, which is true, but as we know that was mostly just because people tuned in to see the train wreck.

The important take away from this is that once again something Palin touches turns to yet another steaming pile of moosepoop.

I am not at all superstitious, and would usually poo poo the idea of a curse, or bad mojo, but I have to admit that Snowdrift Snooki has made me a believer. I have literally NEVER seen such a consistent harbinger of doom in my life.

Her trail of destruction began with John McCain, and from there went to Sharon Angle and Christine O'Donnell, through Herman Cain and Rick Santorum, and even derailed the careers of Tim Tebow and Jeremy Lin. All it seems to take is for Sarah Palin to appear, endorse, or even mention you and your days are numbered.

Hell Matt Lauer's just lucky the Today Show did not spontaneously combust the minute the Wasilla Angel of Death sashayed onto the set.

Thank Odin for small favors.

Herman Cain's rabbit catapulting commercial to warn against taxes on small businesses.

I don't believe I have a coherent response to that.

Except that apparently Herman Cain HATES Peter Cottontail. And that little girl is going to give me nightmares.

Anyhow here is the Sick of Stimulus website which encourages you to tell them just how offensive you found that rabbit murdering commercial.

And by the way kids, for obvious reasons, Easter is cancelled this year.

Newt Gingrich gets the Bad Lip Reading treatment.

You would think these things would get old, but I swear I laugh out loud at every single one of them.

Stephen Colbert's "Rock Me Like a Herman Cain" rally drew 5,000 in Charleston. That's about 20 times more than the real GOP candidates were able to attract.

You can see more by clicking here.

Is it possible that Herman Cain does NOT know that Colbert is ridiculing him and the GOP candidates still in the race? Or is Rachel Maddow right, and he was just been some strange political art project all along?

I stopped watching Morning Joe awhile back (Because he irritates the crap out of me), but you HAVE to watch this morning's episode with Stephen Colbert!

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Nineteen minutes of pure hilarity.

Newt Gingrich receives the MOST appropriate endorsement thus far.

Courtesy of Business Insider:

Considering that the thrice-married Republican candidate recently took a "no-adultery pledge" to increase his clout -- much to the glee of snarky political bloggers -- it's probably not what the Team Newt had in mind. But according to Ashley Madison CEO Noel Biderman, the billboard can only help him. 

"We thought that this was the most appropriate way to contribute to the campaign," Biderman told Business Insider. "Seeing [Gingrich] as a human and flawed makes him more relatable. Just because someone has an affair doesn't mean that they aren't personally capable of leading a state or city or country." 

Yes, just because Gingrich abandoned his wives when they needed him the most, and constantly betrayed them during their relationship, does not mean he will do the same to the America people.

Does it?

Personally I think the funniest part of this story is that Newt was not Ashley Madison's first choices, and essentially was only chosen because their first choice, serial adulterer Herman Cain, turned them down:

Biderman reached out to Herman Cain last week to be the site's president of international affairs. 

"We offered to pay him the same salary that he would have gotten as president," Biderman told B.I., but Cain did not respond to the $400,000 offer. 

I cannot imagine Newt Gingrich turning down an offer of $400,000. In fact after he finally tires of pretending to run for President, I would NOT be at all surprised to see him turn up as the Ashely Madison president of international affairs. (I am guessing that means something different in this company than it does in other companies.)

Is anybody else struck by how bizarre it is that the party of "family values" has had not one, but two serial adulterers as their frontrunner in the race for the GOP nomination?

Wow, this really IS a different Republican party.

What destroyed Herman Cain's candidacy was not the women, it was Herman Cain.

"Hey I'm not quitting. Herman Cain's no quitter! I am just suspending my campaign. Herman Cain is a suspender."

Courtesy of the Daily Beast:

It’s the end of the line for the hit (for a month anyway) situation comedy The Herman Cain Show—as something worth tuning into, anyway. As the obituaries are rushed to press, most of the experts will chalk the demise up to the candidate’s inexperience and his staff’s ineptitude. It’s not that those things aren’t true, but they miss the real point. The real culprit is Cain’s bottomless vanity, and even though he may no longer be very interesting, there is a lesson in his collapse for all the candidates. 

First, on the subject of the Herminator (a nickname he seems to have bestowed on himself, which is always a bad sign). I urge you, when you next find yourself in a bookstore, to pick up a copy of his newish book, This Is Herman Cain!, and flip through it. You need only reach page three to read how he “redefined campaign history” (he may have, but not in the way he means). Then flip ahead to the closing chapter to read how Cain will handle his first 90 days in office. The tone of serene self-adulation leaches so fulsomely out of every page that it practically gets on your hands. Many pundits have assumed that Cain wasn’t really “serious” about his candidacy—that he was just trying to raise his profile, sell some books. But the book, it’s clear from page one, is not the work of man who wasn’t serious about his candidacy. He thought that the presidency was his destiny. Actually, I wouldn’t be shocked if he still thinks it.

I urge you to click the link at the top and read the rest of the article.

And when you are finished tell me if Cain does not seem to be Sarah Palin's chocolate male doppelganger in many important respects.

Like Palin he believes he is destined to be the President.

Like Palin he believes the media is attacking him when they ask him hard questions,

Like Palin he refused to apologize for anything he was accused of doing, and seemed to believe that when the facts came out he would be vindicated even though time and time again the opposite proved true.

And like Palin he said he was getting out of the race to protect his family, and simply could not admit that he had too many skeletons in his closet, and deficiencies as a candidate, to really make a run for the White House.

Really the only major difference between Palin and Cain comes down to pigment, and penis. (Though considering which appendage of Todd's I believe Palin carries around in that purse of hers, perhaps it really only comes down to ONE difference.)

By the way , in case you missed it, here is Herman Cain on SNL this weekend.

Herman Cain press announcement live blogging. Suspends campaign!

It is happening right now.

Sadly he dragged his wife out in front of he cameras with him.

He does not sound like he is going to drop out.  At least not yet.

Bragging about his name ID. The fact that his name is now synonymous with "sexual predator" does not seem to have occurred to him.

"You can say, I'm in the final four." Yeah but only ONE will get the nomination. And it won't be Herb!

His wife looks to be about the saddest woman I have ever seen. Reminds me of David Vitter's wife.

Calls accusations "false" and "unproved." First person testimonials don't count I guess.

Allegations "not true." "I am peace with my God, I am at peace with my wife. and she is at peace with me!"

Oh, he IS dropping out. He just suspended his campaign.

The Cain train has derailed!

The "good" news? Cain will "Not be silenced" and will "Not go away!"

Plan B, "The Cain solutions.com." Why does everything he says sound like a porno version of reality? (If you click you can visit the website and see the saddest picture of Herman Cain imaginable.)

Says he will continue to be "a voice for the people."

Which people? Apparently the sexual predators, and fake political candidates, everywhere. You know REAL AMERICANS!

Definitely going the Palin route, but claims he WILL make an endorsement. Get ready to have your ass kissed Newt!

"I have NOT given up on America!" Well buddy they have certainly given up on you. Don't let the door hit on your predatory ass on the way put.

Update: Below is the picture featured on TheCainSolutions.com. 

 I am not quite sure WHAT he is trying to convey here.

Update: So not to read too much into this announcement, but does that mean THIS is no longer relevant?

I have to admit it's a virtually impossible to feel sorry for the arrogant predatory asshole.

There are some very amazing testimonials over at Men for Cain. Like this one for instance.

If you check through the various messages left on the Men for Cain website, you soon stumble across this little gem.

For those who cannot enlarge the image, allow me.

Herb I know how you fill. People are always makin' stuff up about me too, also. Maybe I can get you a job at FOX! It's easy, they just put the teleprompter jokes right there on the TV thingy and you read them and people send you money! Oh and Herb, if you get busted and decide to come clean, leave me out of it or I will blow you away like that chained down drugged Caribou I shot five times (well, four missed) on TV.

I know this is a parody site, but you have to admit this one sounds awfully close to the real thing. (I am going to say its her until she goes on the Greta/Hannity show and tells me I'm wrong. Hey she responded before!)

It is only a little more than an hour before Cain decides to demonstrate to the world whether or not he is a man of great delusion, or one who recognizes that the jig is up and it is time to fold up his circus tent and ride off over the horizon.

So what do you think he will decide? 

Herman Cain has an epiphany.

Nah, you were NEVER going to be President.

Now if you wanted to demonstrate respect for your so-called conservative values, or your wife, or your children?

You knew it was coming, "Men for Cain" website is now up. Well this makes more sense actually.

From the Men for Cain parody site:

Men For Cain" is a national online high-five of men dedicated to giving props to the ultimate ladies' man Herman Cain, our next President of the United States. Mr. Cain, beyond any other candidate with exception of maybe Newt, has done more to get into women's pants throughout his lifetime, defending and promoting the negative issues associated with quality PDA, T&A and serious office groping. Forget the 9-9-9 plan, let’s talk about the 6-9 plan. When the liberal lame-stream media calls his skill with the ladies "exploits," Mr. Cain calls them conquests. As the nation is struggling to find work, Mr. Cain has found countless jobs for women, right there in his pants. And the best part, his wife has no idea. His erection will win this election for GOP. Join us and voice your support to Herman Cain, our next Philander in Chief.

According to Rachel Maddow there are strong indications that Herman Cain will end his campaign tomorrow. That me the only intelligent decision this man has made in quite some time.

God I love the internet sometimes!

In answer to allegations of misconduct with women, Herman Cain campaign launches "Women for Cain." Oh yeah, THIS is convincing! Update!

Courtesy of TPM:

While Herman Cain weighs whether to stay in the race after being accused of carrying on a decade-plus affair, the campaign is looking to repair the damage his various alleged improprieties have caused with women supporters. His website just went live with a new “Women For Cain” section where female supporters can share their stories —and slam his accusers as “vindictive,” “jealous,” “unstable,” and “husbandless.” 

The initiative, the site says, is chaired by his wife, Gloria Cain, who has been virtually 100% absent from the campaign trail so far and only recently gave her first interview — and that was after canceling previous ones first. 

“Mr. Cain has been a strong advocate for women throughout his lifetime, defending and promoting the issues of quality health care, family, education, equality in the workplace and many other concerns so important to American women,” the website reads. 

The real prize, however, is a section — which appears to be curated by the campaign — featuring female supporters’ personal testimonials, many of which are brutal attacks against the women who have accused Cain of sexual harassment, sexual assault, and infidelity. 

“Dear Mrs. Cain, don’t pay attention to these pathetic husbandless women who are jealous of women like you in happy long-term marriages,” a supporter from California writes. “These vindictive women can’t find a husband or keep one. They are like stalkers who try to latch on to any man who shows a bit of kindness or attention to them. When these unstable women come out of the woodwork to make accusations about Herman just say, ‘Honey, get a life, I believe my husband.’ We want you to be our First Lady Mrs. Cain!”

Okay by a show of hands, how many of you ACTUALLY believe that a woman, who cares about women,  would write that message on this website?

I think a more believable post would read more like this:

"Honey, you need to get copies of his cell phone records and bank statements, and drive your ass over to an attorney TODAY! Change the locks, empty the accounts, and keep him out of the bedroom until he PROVES he did not do what we all know he did!"

What is really insulting about that website to me is that whoever made it really believes that having a few models photographed giving the "thumbs up" signal is enough to convince REAL women that he didn't do anything wrong.

In other words, EPIC FAIL!

Update: Okay apparently that picture posted on the "Women for Cain" website, of four young models who have clearly never met Herman Cain that you see up above, is in fact a stock photo that the Cain campaign purchased. My assumption is that Cain could not find four women that actually knew him to degrade themselves on his behalf like that.

Apparently after too many people noticed it, and made disparaging remarks about it, they took it down.

You literally cannot make this stuff up folks.

It looks like Herman Cain has groped, propositioned, and screwed his way right out of a GOP nomination.

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I'm just kidding. Herman Cain had about as much chance of being the GOP nominee as Mitt Romney had of being the featured dancer on Soul Train.

Still he certainly did not help himself by getting all jiggy with the ladies. Especially the WHITE ladies.

Comic Strip Sundays: GOP Presidential candidates edition.

Not only are they very funny, but they are also accurate in their depiction of this sad group of lunatics, morons, and political grifters. 

(You can see more great editorial cartoons at The Cagle Post.)