President Obama, the Father-in-Chief.

Courtesy of the Washington Post:

For Obama, one of the most welcome byproducts of gaining the highest office in the land at the age of 47 was that he could finally differentiate himself from his own absentee father, Barack Obama Sr., and become the child-centric parent he had always longed to be. This hands-on dad, who helped coach Sasha’s grammar school basketball team, puts a high premium on both connecting with and providing direction to his girls. 

As Obama has often said, the president “lives above the store” and has no commute. No longer has his hectic travel schedule required constant separations from his two girls. Malia was a summer baby — born on the Fourth of July in 1998 — and for the first three months of her life, Obama was glad to help his wife, Michelle, by changing diapers and rocking Malia to sleep. But once fall came, the state senator and part-time law professor had to be away from the family’s Chicago home at least half the week. And by early 2007, when he was both a U.S. senator and a full-time presidential candidate, Obama was forced to hand off just about all of the parenting responsibilities to Michelle. 

He was eager to reconnect with his family. Soon after being inaugurated, Obama established what New York Times reporter Jodi Kantor has called “an unusual rule for a president.” As he informed all his aides, he vowed to have dinner with his family five nights a week. That left just two nights a week for out-of-town fundraisers or dinners with fellow politicians. 

At 6:30, Obama and his wife sit down with the girls for a family dinner without any outsiders — not even Michelle’s mother, Marian Robinson, who typically retreats to her own “home” on the third floor of the White House. 

The evening meal, observed Obama’s former body-man Reggie Love, was treated “like a meeting in the Situation Room. There’s a hard stop before that dinner.” While aides sometimes call him back to work at 8:30 or 9, they rarely dare to go upstairs to bother him during the sacred dinner hour. 

On most days, Obama also eats breakfast with his daughters. And as part of his commitment to his girls, Obama has been reluctant to visit Camp David, since various school activities typically require the youngsters to be in Washington. In sharp contrast to his own neglectful father, this president with the perfect attendance record at his daughters’ parent-teacher conferences has emerged as a model father. 

Out of his own feelings of loss and alienation, which he described in “Dreams from My Father,” has come a road map for personal and social transformation. “I am a black man who grew up without a father, and I know the cost that I paid for that,” the president told a panel on Overcoming Poverty at the Catholic-Evangelical Leadership Summit held at Georgetown University in 2015. “And I also know that I have the capacity to break that cycle, and as a consequence, I think my daughters are better off.”

There are very few traits that I find as admirable as a man who prioritizes being a good father. 

Much like our President I am also the product of a broken homes and an absentee father, and I can admit that when I became a dad it was all consuming for me, and quickly made almost everything else seem insignificant by comparison.

There is no job more important in my opinion, not even the job of President of the United States.

So recognizing that the President feels the same way, only makes me admire him that much more.

It looks like Levi and Sunny Johnston have found a cause worth supporting.

Courtesy of Sunny Johnston's Facebook page:  

Sunny Johnston 

Thank you for the T-shirts! 

Levi and I support The Fathers Rights Movement 110%

Neither Sunny nor Levi are particularity political people, but clearly this is a cause that they feel strongly about.

And considering how long and hard Levi fought to get joint custody of his son that is not hard to understand.

Well it's a good thing that Bristol Palin does not live in Illinois.

Courtesy of Bipartisan Report: 

Republican representatives John D Cavaletto and Keith Wheeler sponsored the bill that would amend the state’s Vital Records Act. Here is the bill’s draconian thrust: 

‘…provides that if the unmarried mother cannot or refuses to name the child’s father, either a father must be conclusively established by DNA evidence or, within 30 days after birth, another family member who will financially provide for the child must be named, in court, on the birth certificate.’ 

‘Provides that absent DNA evidence or a family member’s name, a birth certificate will not be issued and the mother will be ineligible for financial aid from the State for support of the child.’

This the kind of thing that might actually keep Bristol from throwing her panties at every Tom, Joey, and Dakota.

However on the serious side this is an extremely punitive bill that would place a victim of rape, or incest, in a terrible situation.

 And there is NO reason to punish a child for a situation that is clearly no fault of their own.

Just another bill written by men to punish women, and their children, while letting the man get off scott free, if he makes his escape quickly enough that is.

"Girls are like apples." I'm sorry, what?

Courtesy of Raw Story: 

Perhaps one of the most disturbing images on the Internet recently comes from the Christian fundamentalist website, “Let Them Marry.” Formerly called, “True Love Doesn’t Wait (It Marries)”, the pro-early marriage site is a Quiverfull ministry dedicated to teaching fathers the truly biblical path to marriage for their young sons and daughters.

Nothing like treating women  as if they are objects for men barter and trade amongst themselves, don;t you think?

After all how scandalous to think that they are human beings as well, capable of choosing the life that want to lead, and with whom they might want to live it.

What the hell MetLife?

Okay as a one time single father, who had to scrape to make ends meet, I am especially vulnerable to this kind of thing.

Hit me right in the feels. Hard!

Whatever happened to Snoopy? At least that made me laugh.

Purity Balls part deux.

 Courtesy of the You Tube page:

Witness smaller and bigger girls swear allegiance to their dads. Fundamentalist Christians convince daughters to avoid all contact with boys until they're married. By going on a date to a ball and exchanging vows and a ring, the girls promise to abstain completely from any and all interaction with the opposite sex. 

"It's the right thing to do, and the Lord wants us to do it." Says the clearly brain washed young lady.

The video up above is from 2007. At that time this was a phenomena that was fairly isolated.

But as we learned in Friday's post these balls now takes place in 48 of the 50 states.

In other words this kind of creepy incestuously tinged religious control is being leveraged against young girls all over the country.

All in the name of Christianity, and ancient superstitions about the value, and bargaining power, of virginity.

Remember in ancient times a "soiled" young woman, who had allowed her virtue to be stolen away, was worth nothing to the father seeking to use her as a bargaining chip to gain access to wealth and position.

While the young man was encouraged to sow his wild oats and bed as many wenches as he could, the woman was expected to remain chaste until given, like a prized farm animal, to her future husband. Who would then treat her as his possession for the remainder of her life.

Such is the value of "virtue" in ancient times.

But what's the excuse for this continued overreach by a modern day father into his daughter's potential love life? 

P.S. By the way according to this (5:35) 82% of these young ladies will break their vow of chastity before marriage.

Just imagine the kind of emotional pain that must cause them. To feel they have failed their church, their God, and their Daddies.

Purity balls, where young girls "gift" their virginity to their fathers until marriage. Just as creepy as it sounds.

Courtesy of the Daily Mail:

Purity balls, in which a girl pledges to remain ‘pure’ until her wedding day, symbolically ‘marries’ God, and promises her father that she will remain a virgin until she's a wife, have become a phenomenon in America, now taking place in 48 out of the 50 states. 

The balls resemble giant wedding ceremonies, with the girls - all around the age of 12 - wearing white gowns and dancing with their fathers who promise to ‘protect’ their daughter’s chastity. 

During the ceremony, fathers present their daughters with purity rings, which they wear to symbolise their commitment to virginity. 

In the movement purity means no sexual contact of any kind, including kisses, until after marriage. 

One of the largest father-faughter purity balls - which is the subject of a Nightline Prime investigation - has been held for 14 consecutive years in Broadmoor Hotel in Colorado Springs. The event sees upwards of 60 fathers pledging to ‘protect their daughter’s choices for purity'. 

Fathers taking part are expected to sign a ‘purity covenant’ in which they, as ‘High Priest of their home and family’ pledge ‘before God to cover my daughter as her authority and protection in the area of purity.’ 

The daughters silently commit to live pure lives before God through the symbol of laying down a white rose at the cross, before engaging in a wedding-type dance with their father. 

 "You're married to the Lord, and your father is your boyfriend." Holy crap that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand straight up. 

This idea of virginity being some sacred entity which must be protected at all cost, and that the loss of it stains a woman's virtue beyond repair, is based on primitive concepts and has no real value in this day and age.

As a father we should be prepared to defend our daughters against ne'er do wells, give them good advice about sex, and comfort when their hearts get broken, but we should NOT be constantly involved in their sex life of dictating when and with whom that can begin.

So creepy!

Man gets six months in jail for being too good of a father. This is some bullshit!

Courtesy of Sott.net:  

A father will spend half of 2014 behind bars for doing too much for his son. After overpaying child support and seeing his son too often - breaking terms that were secretly modified without his knowledge - a judge sentenced him to a lengthy jail sentence. 

Clifford Hall has been doing his best to give care to his 11-year-old son, who lives with his ex-wife. He pays his child support and visits regularly. "I'm his father it's my responsibility to take care of him," Hall said. 

Last November, his child support payments were paid in full. Sometime between then and now, the child support agreement between Hall and his wife was modified without his knowledge. 

Hall wound up overpaying by $3,000, a fact that Harris County District Court Judge Lisa Millard found contemptible. 

Another term that was modified without his knowledge was his visitation schedule. Subsequently, Hall was found to have over-visited his son. 

Judge Millard ended up finding Hall in contempt of court. 

When she said I remand you to the Harris County Jail for 180 days my mouth just dropped," Hall told FOX 26 Houston. 

 In addition to the six month jail sentence, Judge Millard is forcing Hall to pay his ex-wife's attorney fees. "I can't be there for my son in jail," Hall said. 

"I can't pay child support in jail. This is not in the best interest of the child." 

I don't address this very often on the blog but the treatment of fathers by the courts is one of my pet peeves. Things like this happen WAY too often, and the end result is fathers running from their responsibilities rather than risk being mistreated by the courts. 

I had some problems with child support enforcement up here in Alaska, and I was absolutely doing everything I could to meet my obligations.

In fact my brother ended up paying over a hundred thousand dollars in child support for a child that DNA tests proved was not even his.

There are plenty of loving fathers out there trying to do the very best for their kids, but when this kind of thing happens......

"Daddy I Do." Perhaps the creepiest trailer for a video that I have EVER seen!

Apparently this trailer is from 2009, bit this is the first time I have stumbled across it.

And here is the site where you can buy the video. It actually says "intended for home use only."

As if I was not disturbed by this enough, my daughter happened by while I was watching it, and told me that this kind of thing was done by EVERYBODY in the Fundamentalist church in Georgia that she used to attend.

In fact, unbeknownst to me, she was encouraged to approach me about participating in the ritual with her. She flat out told them that her father would NEVER go along with this kind of thing and that THEY would be very sorry if she mentioned it to me.

Smart girl.

I cannot begin to tell you how many red flags start waving for me when I see this. Fathers can love their daughters and hope that they have healthy relationships and that once they get married it is a union which stands the test of time.

But THIS is simply too much of an intrusion into a young woman's sex life, and that is not a place for a father to have such a prurient interest.

By the way there IS a work around to circumvent this kind of an abstinence only approach to youthful relationships. I am sure many of you already know it, but if not these two comedians will gladly explain it for you.

Louis C.K. has an interesting, and humorous, take on Father hood. Seemed appropriate for today.

I cannot say that I share too many of Louis's trepidations about being a parent, but I do share the fact that on some days I could certainly do a better job at it.

And yes, when you become a REAL father and not simply your wife's assistant, you become a much better parent. Sadly I was forced to do that after a divorce, but I have confidence that married men can do that as well.

They just have to want to.

A little something different for IM visitors this morning. Geoffrey Dunn's very talented daughter, Tess Dunn, singing "Shame to See."

I met Tess and her father just over two years ago now.

We bonded over good food, good music (Provided by Tess), and stories about Alaska. During that brief time I really grew to like Geoff and his family very much.

Whenever Geoffrey and I are on the phone and Tess walks in, she always makes sure to say hi to me or insist that her father say hi on her behalf. She is a great kid, with a great attitude toward life, and a great talent.

Today she is sixteen years old and I have absolutely NO doubt that she is on her way to becoming a wonderful success.

Another thing that the President of the United States and I have in common.

Over the course of my life, I have been an attorney, I’ve been a professor, I’ve been a state senator, I’ve been a U.S. senator — and I currently am serving as President of the United States. But I can say without hesitation that the most challenging, most fulfilling, most important job I will have during my time on this Earth is to be Sasha and Malia’s dad

President Obama also wrote up a very nice piece in People magazine for Father's Day.

Here is my favorite part:

That's not to say I've always been a perfect dad. I haven't. When Malia and Sasha were younger, work kept me away from home more than it should have. At times, the burden of raising our two daughters has fallen too heavily on Michelle. During the campaign, not a day went by that I didn't wish I could spend more time with the family I love more than anything else in the world.

But through my own experiences, and my continued efforts to be a better father, I have learned something over the years about what children need most from their parents.

They need our time, measured not only in the number of hours we spend with them each day, but what we do with those hours. I've learned that children don't just need us physically present, but emotionally available – willing to listen and pay attention and participate in their daily lives. Children need structure, which includes learning the values of self-discipline and responsibility.

I also had an absentee father and was raised by my hard working single mother.

My mom was not perfect, and she was often exasperated by my behaviors, but she was there when I needed her.  Every single time.

When my daughter was born I swore that every time she fell down I would be there to pick her up. That every time she woke up from a nightmare I would be there to chase away the bad dreams.  That every time she did not think she could do something, I would be right there telling her that yes she could, and that I had all of the faith in the world in her.

I was not able to there every single time she needed me because after we split her mother wanted to move out of state, but I was still present as often as was humanly possible. And there was never a time that she needed to talk to me that I did not pick up the phone, or that she wanted to come home that I did not scrape together the money for the ticket, or a time when she needed limits set that I allowed the fact that I missed her so very much while she was gone to keep me from doing my parental duty and saying "No."  (Which is perhaps the MOST important word a parent ever says to the child that they love.)

Just like my President, I have not always been the perfect dad. But don't tell my daughter that, because despite my many failings, she actually thinks I have.

And I kind of think that when Malia and Sasha are older they will have the very same opinion of THEIR father. Don't you think?

I believe that every father can relate with our President on this topic.

I am not a religious man but I have certainly wished, or sent positive thoughts toward my daughter on numerous occasions, and tried to be patient when she requested my support for endeavors that I was leery of or wished that she had avoided.  But hey that is what being Dad is all about.

You can read more at Politico.

Is it just me?

Or does this happen to you as well?



As I have said before my daughter is twenty three years old now.  But whenever I think of her, for the first few seconds anyway, she is that angelic blond haired little girl again.

I keep seeing this commercial pop up almost daily on my television screen, and I am not too embarrassed to admit that I never reach the end of it without a lump in my throat. When it comes to fathers and their daughters I am a huge marshmallow.

I have very little doubt that as the years march along, and my daughter grows to be the strong independent woman that I am already seeing her become, that she will still live in my heart as that precious four year old girl, with the bright blue eyes and golden curls, reaching up to take my hand in anticipation of our next magical adventure together. And I hope I never lose that image until the day I take my very last breath.

For those who are wondering, my daughter is still having her RV worked on and hopes to be on the road sometime today or early tomorrow.  And yes, she is on my mind constantly.