MSNBC presents the 9 most Sarah Palin being Sarah Palin moments.

MSNBC's Anna Brand has compiled a list of incidents in 2014 of Sarah Palin essentially being the most Sarah Palin.

And they are as follows:  

1. The time she decided Putin wrestles bears and Obama wears mom jeans. 

Sound bite: “People are looking at Putin as one who wrestles bears and drills for oil. They look at our president as one who wears mom jeans,” Palin said “Anyone who carries the commonsense gene would know that Putin doesn’t change his stripes,” she said. “He wants to exert huge power and dominance, so he has to get to those border areas and he has to capture them.”


2. The time she sort of quoted Dr. Seuss.

This of course was several months after Ted Cruz read from "Green Eggs and Ham" during his ridiculous and self serving filibuster.  In March Palin did the same in front of CPAC:  

Sound bite: “I do not like this Uncle Sam. I do not like his health care scam. I do not like these dirty crooks, or how they lie and cook the books. I do not like when Congress steals, I do not like their crony deals,” she continued. “I do not like this spying man. I do not like ‘oh yes we can.’ I do not like this spending spree. We’re smart, we know there’s nothing free. I do not like reporters’ smug replies when I complain about their lies. I do not like this kind of hope, and we won’t take it, nope, nope, nope.”

3. The time she said being a grandma might turn Hillary Clinton conservative. 

Sound bite: “I think anyone who is a grandparent really starts looking further down the road. We start thinking about things like $17 trillion dollar debt that our nation is under and what we’re going to hand that to our grandkids for them to pay off,” she said. “That’s not fair to our grandkids. Hopefully, she’ll start thinking along those terms, too.” 

4. The time she thought drinking Diet Dr. Pepper was the Ice Bucket Challenge. 

Sound bite: “C’mon, at this stage of my life, in my career, aren’t I a little too prim and proper for all that ice bucket water dumping?”

"Prim and proper?" Hardly.

5. The time she said let’s all bless the haters.

Sound bite: “Hey, the more they’re pouring it on, the more I’m going to bug the crap out of them by being out there, with a voice, with the message, Hopefully running for office in the future too … Bless their hearts, those haters out there. They don’t understand that it invigorates me. It wants me to get out there and defend the innocent,” she said. “It makes me want to work so hard for justice in this country!” 

6. The time her family got into a bloody, shirtless drunken brawl. 

Sound bite: No sound bite. No one reportedly listened to her when she tried to intervene in Bristol’s defense and was sitting safely inside her white stretch limo when police arrived, according to the report. 

Okay well clearly this Anna Brand did not do her research. Because as all of us already know, and the link above proves, Palin was not only NOT in the stretch Hummer, she was a full participant in the brawl itself.

The bloody shirtless part is right however.

7. The time she was stopped for speeding, which she called “qualifying.” 

Sound bite: “I wasn’t speeding, I was qualifying.” 

8. The time she declared that gun-free zones are ‘stupid on steroids.’

Sound bite: “Maybe our kids could be defended against criminals on the spot if more Mama Grizzlies carried [guns]. And [the] Obama administration wants you ID’d for that? Well, then go ahead and carry a sign too. A sign that says ‘Yeah, I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy.’” 

9. The time she launched a digital channel dedicated to herself. 

Sound bite: “Are you tired of the media filters? Well, I am! I always have been. So we’re going to do something about it. Together, we’ll go beyond the sound bites and cut through the media’s politically correct filter.”

Boy can you believe all of that happened in only one year?

Well I still think my favorite moment of Palin being Palin (And her family doing the same.), was the Throwdown at the Hoedown.

I mean if anything defines this lunatic and her inbred Wasillabilly family that was it. Cussing, fighting, attempting to hijack the media, it was all there for everybody to see, and hear, for themselves.

Gee, I can only imagine what next year will bring.

Esquire totally eviscerates Sarah Palin over her speech at CPAC.

Courtesy of Esquire:  

By now, and by god, it should have settled permanently in the consciousness of the nation what a huge and untoward gamble with the country John McCain and his campaign took in 2008 when they elevated Sarah Palin from her rightful place on the tundra to the political celebrity she currently enjoys. McCain should pay a heavy price for unleashing this ignorant, two-wheeled bilewagon on the country's politics. If you think she's a legitimate political leader, you're an idiot and a sucker and I feel sorry for you. 

Yesterday she gave a wildly received speech to ring down the curtain at CPAC. The applause, as far as I know, may still be going on. It was as singularly embarrassing a public address as any allegedly sentient primate ever has delivered. It was a disgrace to politics, to rhetoric, to the English language, and to seventh-grade slam books everywhere. 

This ambulatiory bag of rank resentment pulled out all the tricks. The cheap shots; "Aw, John, why the long face?" to the Secretary of State. The sneering, wheedling playground taunting -- "You can't make a phone call without Michelle Obama knowing, 'This is the third time this week you dialed Pizza Hut Delivery'" -- and a full panoply of funny voices that are the trademark of dipshit comics in every two-drink minimum club in America. We got "hope and channng-ey," and how "some members" of the GOP establishment are saying to us, "Hush, America. Go to sleep, little lambs." And, in what is being celebrated as the piece de resistance , she turned Green Eggs And Ham into an extended taunt. 

If you laughed, you're an idiot and I feel sorry for you.

"This ambulatory bag of rank resentment " Boy wish I would have thought of that.

Right now Palin is getting spanked all over the internet for her crazed rhetoric, and taunting of the liberals, the media, and our President.

There are few who have anything positive to say, except of course those on the Right Wing fringe.


Clearly they are so desperate for attention from the mainstream media that they would support televised self-immolation if they thought it would get national coverage and somehow reflect poorly on the President.

The funny thing about CPAC this year was that each speaker seemed to be trying to out crazy the next crazy who might follow them to the podium.

NRA Vice President Wayne LaPierre actually said:  

"We don't trust government, because government itself has proven unworthy of our trust. We trust ourselves and we trust what we know in our hearts to be right. We trust our freedom. In this uncertain world, surrounded by lies and corruption everywhere you look, there is no greater freedom than the right to survive and protect our families with all the rifles, shotguns, and handguns we want.

Paul Ryan told a story about a kid who did not want to be on the school lunch program, and instead wanted to eat his lunch from a brown paper bag, that turned out to be plagiarized from a book written by a woman who actually works to feed hungry children in America.

So in this kind of atmosphere is it any wonder that Palin also had her ghostwriters plagiarize the Dr. Suess story that she claimed to have made up for Trig's benefit?

However here's the thing, one might be excused for pandering to the mental patients if one wants to get them to share their medication, put you in charge of the communal remote control, or believe you when you say you are the REAL Napoleon Bonaparte.

But pandering to the fringe should exclude you forever from actually seeking higher office in this country.

In that way perhaps Palin was among the most honest of the speakers. She knows full well that she is never going to return to public service, she just needs somebody to tune into her upcoming reality show and to keep sending their children's college money to her PAC.

And by honest I mean honestly willing to string along a group of morons too ignorant to recognize when they are being manipulated by a person who cares NOTHING about their values, their religious beliefs, or their desires for the future of the country, but is willing to fake it for attention and cash.

Sarah Palin bitches that the media investigated "the irrelevant hockey mom from Wasilla," yet did not do their jobs with investigating Washington corruption. Does she even watch real news?

This was posted last night on the Batshit crazy Banshee's Facebook page:  

Look, I’ll keep this brief because I want to spend quality time getting kids to bed tonight. (Translation: I have to yell at my kids to shut the fuck up while I'm on the phone with my Facebook ghostwriter.) Doubt I’ll get much sleep though because the recent proof of government corruption makes me nauseated. (Translation: Red Bull and Peppermint Schnapps don't mix as well together as you might think.) If it doesn’t you, and you can blindly ignore the status quo embraced by our politicians and low information voters, then I unapologetically call out your disloyalty to the ethical foundation of the greatest nation on earth.

Palin takes a moment fan the Tea Party calling them a "grass roots organization" of "patriots" who came into being due to corruption in government. That of course is a false narrative, as ultimately revealed in a piece on HuffPo just yesterday.

Palin then goes on to pimp the book by Peter Schweizer that she pimped over at Breitbart yesterday. I will spare you that here and jump right into the "It's all about me" portion of her rant.

Here’s the deal: all politics is local. And personal. Let me personalize this. It is UNBELIEVABLE that the press would investigate every nook and cranny of my life; send gullible reporters to my little town to kick over every rock any family member ever tread underfoot; scour every email I’ve written; research every Palin campaign disclosure like junkyard dogs; sic 12 AP reporters to fact check my book; breathlessly report about my wardrobe and an old used tanning bed I bought to get some sun during Alaskan winters as if these were vital national news stories; hound friends, personal doctors, strangers, and just downright strange people, etc., etc., etc., to know everything we do (and they still get the story wrong!). They blew and still blow all those resources “investigating” the irrelevant hockey mom from Wasilla. (Oh, if only that were true.) Meanwhile our government goes to hell in a hand basket right before the “elite media’s” closed eyes, and it took my friend Peter Schweizer to slap you upside the head to see any of this corruption? Good God. Be ashamed, media, be very ashamed. (Yes media be ashamed that you sent all of that media up there are STILL missed the biggest hoax ever pulled on the American voters.)


Now, I think I’ll go read “Green Eggs and Ham” to my little boy, then we’ll all say a prayer for our country as I join you in readying for tomorrow’s battle for America. (Translation: This is a good place to use a Dr. Suess book to link me and Ted Cruz in the minds of the barely literate Teabaggers.)

You know I find it rather humorous that Palin is still so butthurt over the  fact that she had all of that media attention directed at her when she first appeared on the scene, when we all know that she is doing everything in her power to attract similar attention today.

Palin likes to pretend that she hates people prying into her life, but in fact it is far worse for her when they ignore her.

Personally I would love to have the media launch a serious investigation into everything that she did as mayor of Wasilla, Governor of Alaska, and Queen of the Tea Party. But only if that investigation concluded with it being revealed that she grifted millions of dollars from the federal government, manipulated her followers into donating millions more for a campaign she never had any intention of mounting, and that she faked a pregnancy for the sole purpose of gaining access to the Republican presidential ticket in 2008.

Yes that would be an investigation worthy of the best efforts of the so-called "Lamestream media." However it is extremely unlikely to ever be launched because, let's face it, nobody cares that much about her.

If they did she would not have to resort to posting her frustrations on Facebook, or having them ghostwritten for her on Breitbart, or only have about an hour total each month on Fox News for her diatribes.

You see the main thing that was discovered during that whole investigation of "every nook and cranny" of her life is that she was a giant fraud, a puppet of corporate interests, and an attention whore.

THAT story has already been told, so if Palin wants to have any new attention directed her way she might have to reveal some things that she has worked very hard to keep hidden all of these years.

Speaking only for myself, I can tell you that my fingers are hovering at the ready above my keyboard any time that she wants to start.

"Green Eggs and Blam!"

If Ted Cruz rewrote the Dr. Suess classic.

The Daily Show mocks perhaps the most mock-able thing in the news, Ted Cruz's non-filibuster filibuster.

Click image for video.

Part two: The Bore-ax

There were a plethora of choices to post today of pundits taking shots at Cruz's ridiculous ineffective grandstanding yesterday, but it was not until I watched the Daily Show last night that I knew what I HAD to post.

Not only is it spot on, it is truly hilarious.