I think at this point we can officially say that Sarah Palin has made the transition from politician to pastor.

Yes I recognize that Palin has not been ordained, and really does not live a Godly life, but I really think that with this new book she has for all intents and purposes slipped into her new role as Christian evangelist.

Take a look at this interview on Right Wing Watch:  

“You talk about how we’ve turned our back on God’s definition of marriage, how we’ve absolutely trampled underfoot this principle of the sanctity of human life,” Parshall said. “And some might say we’ve gone too far, God is no longer going to shed his grace on us. Do you think it’s too late for America?” 

Palin responded that she didn’t think it was “too late” because “we know where the answers are and we know that God has so blessed this land with resources and with intelligent workforce and everything that God has blessed us with and our founders knew to dedicate that all to him when America came to be.” “We need to do that again,” she continued. 

“We need to not be afraid to even tell our elected leaders that that’s what they need to be doing too, on our knees, rededicate this land to God as our founders did, though some want to deny that truthful history, as our founders did and get back to God and quit kicking him out of the public square, otherwise, yeah, you wonder how long he is going to be patient with us but, no, it’s not too late.” 

"Rededicate this land to God." That sounds EXACTLY like something one would hear from the pulpit on a Sunday morning in the Bible Belt.

Palin went on to blow the Fundie's favorite dog whistle about Christianity being under attack in this country, which of course is well traveled terrain for Sister Mary Hypocrisy.

Also from Palin's Facebook page we have this today: 

One of the truly great things about Christianity is that it reminds us that everyone—rich or poor, black or white—is created in God’s image. ‪#‎SweetFreedom‬

Sure she's still hawking her stupid book, but that is really no different than Robert Tilton's prayer cloths or Jim Bakker's "Apocalypse chow," and THEY call themselves preachers.

Of course this is an evolution that most of us have been predicting for at least six or seven years now, and in fact Palin has used religious language since her earliest days in Wasilla politics.

Even before Pastor Muthee inoculated Palin against witchcraft, and she faked the birth of her pro-life prop, her fundamentalist creds were already in place. There are even stories of Wasilla prayer warriors laying hands on the outside of city hall in order to bless Palin during her time as mayor.

So yes, it is perfectly reasonable to assume that after being fired from her Fox News gig, after her short lived Sarah Palin channel died of neglect, and with her career as a book author clearly in the crapper, that Palin will move on the easiest gig of all, fleecing the faithful sheep.

And with her very convenient cancer "survival" story making the rounds on the internet she is positioned perfectly to glue that halo to her wig and start passing the collection plate.

Essentially it's what she has done all along with SarahPAC. Only now instead of teasing them with the possibility of running for President she will grab them buy their cankles, turn them upside down, and shake the loose change out of their pockets with the power of the Lord.

I imagine her sex scandal and fall from grace will occur any day now.

Sarah Palin invites former adversary Louis CK to Alaska, and a mega-star credits Palin with her success.

Maybe a bit of the, um, "uniqueness" of #SweetFreedom - now the #1 Christian book and #1 devotional in the country -...
Posted by Sarah Palin on Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Sure meet the Donald, do morning and late night television, and get your name linked to one of the biggest comedy names in the business. Just part of the grifting grand tour of greed.

I don't know Mr. CK, but if he wants to come up for a fishing trip, where he won't end up bludgeoned on the bottom of the boat along with the fish, he should drop me a line.

In other news which is sure to get Palin some undeserved attention, it turns out that the singer Adele is giving her some hopefully tongue in cheek credit for her success.

Courtesy of the Hamilton Spectator:  

The 'Hello' singer doesn't think she'd have done as well Stateside if the controversial politician hadn't rearranged an appearance on iconic US TV show 'Saturday Night Live' to co-inside with her own performance on the programme. 

She said: "[I had] huge luck, I got 'SNL' - I've done it once and I think I'm doing it again - and the week I was doing it was supposed to be a normal week and the week after Sarah Palin was due to be on but something came up on the campaign so she did the week I was doing it with Josh Brolin. 

"It was one of the most watched 'SNL's ever and it was two weeks before the Grammy ballot, where people decide what they want to nominate, the stars aligned for me. 

"The album shot to number one on iTunes, then I was nominated for a Grammy, it was a joke. All thanks to Sarah Palin."

Well I agree that Sarah Palin's a joke, but not one funny enough to have launched the career of such a gifted singer.

I personally am a big fan of Adele's and I am certain that a talent like hers did not require any help from the likes of Sarah Palin.

I am also aware that Palin will use the crap out of this to help promote herself, and this pathetic book of hers.

The publisher of Sarah Palin's newest book was once sued by five of its authors because they "structured their business essentially as a scam."

"I got another book deal."

Okay so I was reading through this Salon piece on Ted Cruz's new book, explaining how the New York Times essentially outed publishing houses for using bulk sales to drive up the numbers in order to get on best seller lists. When I came across this:  

At some point the New York Times figured this out and began to list such alleged best-sellers with a “dagger” next to them denoting bulk sales, which sort of takes the fun, if not the profit out of it. And it wasn’t long ago that some authors got wind of another layer of the scam at their own expense. They sued their publisher, the right-wing Regnery Publishing for selling what would otherwise be boring, remainder bin books to various affiliated organizations at a steeply reduced price and even for free as promotional items. The authors did not receive royalties for such sales and they weren’t happy about it, one of them even complaining, “they’ve structured their business essentially as a scam and are defrauding their writers.” Imagine that. (Here is a link to that 2007 New York Times article.)

The name of the publisher, Regnery Publishing, seemed awfully familiar to me. Now where had I heard that name before?

And then it hit me:

Sarah Palin has a new book coming out, with a new publisher. 

Regnery Publishing, a conservative press based in Washington, D.C., announced Tuesday that it was planning a November release for Palin's Sweet Freedom: A Devotional.

Aha!

So it appears that Palin's newest publishing house is really just a scam operation that rips off its authors in order to drive up its own profits.  Interesting, no?

Of course Palin is not known for being exactly honest concerning book sales herself, since in the past she has used SarahPAC to purchase bulk orders of her own books in order to artificially drive up the numbers and increase her own profit margin as well.

So the question now remaining is, who will rip off whom?

Will Regnery rip Palin off, and use her waning celebrity to sell bulk orders of her books to conservative markets as giveaways, thereby depriving her of royalties?

Or will Palin herself buy up bulk orders using SarahPAC money, and then give them away to the six people who still want to read a book by her ghostwriter and pocket the money herself?

Well considering the most recent quarterly filings from SarahAPC that last scenario seems increasingly less likely.

However this IS Sarah Palin, who, I think we can all agree, was born to grift. So when it comes to being devious and ripping off her own fans, I would not count her out quite yet.

Wonkette takes notice that there have been no new videos on the Sarah Palin Channel for two weeks now. Gee, I wonder why?

Courtesy of Wonkette:

For two weeks running, Sarah Palin has not bothered to publish any new videos—and her subscribers have begun to take notice. In the Sarah Palin Channel’s comment sections, they speak to each other in the tones of people who just blew $20 on carnival games and didn’t even win a giant stuffed panda for Jenny Sue.

Ooh, ooh, we do, we do! Poor Pammers strikes as the kind of person who watched the final scenes of “The Usual Suspects” and wondered who was going to clean up all that spilled coffee. 

Other commenters, like this grandmother, are far more direct and far more fed-up.

Threatening to take your foldin’ money elsewhere are fightin’ words in Palin’s grifter paradise. But then you’ve got true believers like this guy, who will happily tell you that the evidence of absence is not the absence of evidence.

 "She would NEVER leave us hang. IF she knows that she is not running, she would have announced so."

I am going to have to leave it there or risk getting a case of the giggles that will incapacitate me for the remainder of the day. However if you want more just click the Wonkette link at the top.

I have been doing this for such a long time that you would think that I would have lost the ability to be amazed by the stupidity of the Palin-bots, but just when I think that is true I learn that they have yet another level for self deception.

I swear that without Palin to focus on these people would be wandering the streets careening from scam artist, to scam artist, in a constant need to waste their money on get rich quick schemes, magical elixirs, and phony fortune tellers.

It's official. Sarah Palin has finally morphed into a full on televangelist. Without the television part of course. Is there an "intervangelist?"

Courtesy of Sister Mary Batshit Crazy:

Those honoring the National Day of Prayer this week are committed to our nation's biblical foundation, and we thank selfless Americans who protect this Christian nation’s freedom of religion! In reverence to the Lord's grace and mercy we will never allow God to be booted from the public square. The public acknowledgement of our need for God’s blessing has been with us from the beginning – from the eve of our Revolution, when the First Continental Congress called for “a day of publick humiliation, fasting, and prayer,” to 1952, when Congress established the National Day of Prayer. It was signed it into law so we would “turn to God in prayer,” knowing our need for His hand of protection and guidance. Today, more than ever, we need the Almighty’s mercy, and we are actually invited by Him to humbly ask that He bless this land. Please pray that He will navigate us through these troubling times, dedicating ourselves and our great nation back to Him. 

- Sarah Palin

Well Hallelujah and pass the sacramental wine. 

I guess with everybody from Ted Cruz to Mike Huckabee pimping religion politics like a sweaty revival tent preacher in the bowels of the Bible Belt, Palin felt she had to turn the Christianity up to eleven.

You know I have long felt that this is Palin's true calling.

After all when you are looking to grift from the easiest marks on the planet, Christianity is the religious Astroglide that makes separating the morons from their money friction free and the penetration into their warm and welcoming trust centers relatively painless.

Now all Palin needs to get are a couple of snakes to handle during her video talks, a prayer answering hotline, and an online store to sell actual bonafide splinters from the cross that Jesus died on and blessed holy water that can cure cancer and make barren women pregnant, and she's in business.

And if she can do for Christianity what she has already done to for the Republican party, well that's all the better.

New SarahPAC fundraising letter.

Body of letter:

CHIP-IN to support SarahPAC and help support these young Senators fight the LIBERAL MEDIA’S SPINELESS LIES! 

SarahPAC is determined to CONTINUE OUR SUPPORT for strong conservative leaders like Senators Ted Cruz, Rand Paul, and Marco Rubio after the recent announcement that they would run for the Republican nomination for President of the United States. The liberal media has been rallying to support Hillary Clinton in a combined effort to keep the GOP from winning the White House. They are afraid that these young GOP candidates have the ability to reach a more new and diverse group of voters that will secure the Republican Party for years to come. 

The insiders bet against our candidates and the liberal media attacked them because they were too conservative. But with the support of the hard-working grassroots activists like yourself and SarahPAC these young GOP leaders fought and won races that the establishment thought they would lose. 

We need to continue our message of strong conservative values, if you CHIP-IN just $10 our message will be seen by over 3,000 people or if you CHIP-IN $25 our message can be seen by over 8,000. 

Respectfully, 

SarahPAC 

I don't know about everybody else but MY lies are simply bursting with spine. 

Must be thinking of some other liberals.

So SarahPAC is planning to give money to Rand Paul, Ted Cruz, AND Marco Rubio?  Can't Palin decide on just one of them?

Besides who REALLY thinks that Palin is giving any of her precious money to any of these guys?

You know if I were a cynic I might think that Palin was simply using these guys to trick people into sending more money for her to use on things like vacations, airfare, consultants, and of course "postage."

You know, if I were a cynic. 

After all she is notorious for being stingy with her PAC money.

Sarah blows a situation about a cemetary grave marker out of all proportion in order to pimp her book about Christmas. Wasn't it Jesus who said "There's a sucker born every minute?"

Courtesy of Granny Grifter's ghostwrite Facebook page:  

Jesus Banned From Gravestones? 

Outrageous development...*sigh*… c'mon, Colorado, you deserve much better! A public cemetery there refused to allow a grieving family to engrave on their mother's grave the name "Jesus" and the Jesus fish symbol. Bureaucrats said it would offend people! 

Reports like this should shock us all. Heading towards Thanksgiving, I'm trying to imagine what the Pilgrims would think of this if they had known that a few centuries after they landed at Plymouth some of their descendants would prevent people from engraving the name of Jesus on a headstone! Much less, what our freedom-loving Founding Fathers would think. 

Trying to take our Lord out of American life, much like trying to take Christ out of Christmas, is, to say the least, not a winning proposition. Rise up, America! Stand strong on our great nation's foundation and keep the faith to protect America's heritage and heart!

You know I am not saying that this family did not have the right to have their mother's tombstone reflect her religious beliefs, regardless of whether it might offend other dead people interred there or not, but I have to wonder if little Miss "Constitutional Rights" would have been quite so worked up if this were a Muslim family? Or a Jewish one? Or, dare I say it, an Atheist family who wanted that lack of belief clearly marked on a gravestone?

Some how I think not.

But then again that is NOT the audience that would likely rush out to by her new book all about the fake War on Christmas that she linked to at the end of her diatribe.

And see my new book covering issues exactly like this. It will be released on November 12, but you can pre-order it here:

"Oh that's right I totally have a book coming out all about Christmas and Christianity, and how the liberal elites don't want you to get presents this year, I almost forgot!"

Yeah I don't think that the God Sarah Palin worships is to be found anywhere in the Bible, or any other holy book for that matter. I think the God she worships is green, made of paper, and good for keeping her as far away from Alaska as possible.

Sarah Palin posts new pictures on her Facebook page to celebrate "living vibrantly," or to say "fuck you" to her SarahPAC donors. You decide.

Palin flashes the Hawaiian "Shaka" sign which apparently the only thing she learned during her stay on the islands for college before fleeing back to the mainland to escape all of those Asians.

"Hey Todd, remember when we used to work for a living before we realized how easy it was to scam the stupid people into giving us money for doing nothing?"

Okay now I KNOW that this is supposed to be simply some fun pictures that Palin shares with her supporters to make them feel more connected, but since it comes LITERALLY the DAY AFTER she kisses up to them and begs for more money, it seems incredibly insensitive and arrogant.

After all these pictures kind of put this statement. "I want to thank all of you who have donated your time, hard-earned money, and efforts to support SarahPAC. We have accomplished an incredible amount together over the last two election cycles" in a completely different light. (Yeah thanks for the money, we could never have had such awesome vacations without it!)

On the other hand for those in the media who have called Palin out for using her PAC as a slush fund for her family, and for paying her staff, this could not be more welcome.

Thanks Sarah! Once again you have inadvertently helped us to prove our point.

(Pictures courtesy of Cactus Annie's Facebook page.)

Update: Oh I forgot to include this one.

"See I'm still the mother of a special needs child (Stop hitting me you little shit) now send me money."

More about Sarah Palin's ghostwriter's new book.

Sarah Palin's fake breast are very excited about her new book.

Courtesy of Hollywood Reporter: 

Palin will explore the "over-commercialism" and "homogenization" of Christmas and argue for a reaffirmation of its religious importance. 

The book is scheduled for publication in November. 

In a statement, Palin said, "Amidst the fragility of this politically correct era, it is imperative that we stand up for our beliefs before the element of faith in a glorious and traditional holiday like Christmas is marginalized and ignored." She added, though, that the book will be "fun, festive [and] thought-provoking" and "will encourage all to see what is possible when we unite in defense of our faith and ignore the politically correct Scrooges who would rather take Christ out of Christmas." HarperCollins also noted that the book will feature "personal memories and traditions from [Palin's] own Christmases" as well.

OMGD! Who else can hardly wait to hear the mythologized version of Palin's own Christmases?

Personally I am looking forward to the one where she found the fact that the Religious Right was forcing the 20008 Republican nominee to put her on the ticket under her tree.

Or perhaps it will be the Christmas when Sarah concocted a plan to send Levi away to the remote cabin, so that he would not be home when Bristol gave birth to Tripp. (Can't imagine why THAT happened!)

Or perhaps it will be the one where God impregnated her mother, and she was delivered into the world as the second coming of Christ. (This is the one I think her dozen or so remaining followers are most looking forward to having read to them.)

Well any how, I am sure it will be a riveting boo...zzzzzzzz!

Here is my favorite part of this article:

The former governor is said to be weighing multiple offers in the wake of her departure from the cable channel but has not announced anything concrete.

Yeah, she is "weighing multiple offers."

Such as an offer to "go away and never come back."

An offer to "drop dead and die already."

And an offer to "please don't endorse our politicians anymore!"

By the way while we are on the subject of Snowdrift Snooki, it looks like Politic is preparing to draw the ire of the power scooter crowd with their new article entitled "Sarah Palin's next act: Candidate or Kardashian?"

Oh yeah, there are some poorly misspelled, all in capital letters, emails headed their way! Don'tcha know?

Palin-bots about to get all excited over nothing again in 3..2..1

Of course she really says nothing here, but is just vague enough to make the idiots over at the Sea O'Pee start rubbing one out in anticipation that Palin will actually run for president sometime in their lifetime.

The woman has no shame.

I swear I have witnessed protozoa that catch on quicker than the people who support Palin do. Of course to be fair, they ARE more evolved.

And by the way doesn't CNN have some actual news to cover today? Even Fox didn't find it newsworthy to send someone to interview Granny Grifter about whether or not she ever plans to run for president or not, or to ask for whom she cast her vote.

By the way she has NO intention of running for president in 2016, because by the time 2016 rolls around she will either look like the Crypt Keeper or, if she continues with the plastic surgery, like Joan Rivers less attractive sister.

You will also notice that she once again defends Rush Limbaugh, and calls the media hypocrites for calling him out on the attacks directed at Sandra Fluke. And this on the same day that she demanded Obama give back the million dollars that Bill Maher gave a SuperPAC which supports him.

This woman, is an idiot!

P.S. If you want to see the real news that is happening this Super Tuesday then just click here.

She's Ba-a-a-ck!

Courtesy of Love & Knishes

You know if in fact any religion could rid us of the presence of Sarah Palin through some exorcism, or consecration ceremony, or even animal sacrifice, I think I might consider joining.

I'm just saying.

Look what just turned up at the Dollar Store.

Thanks to Beth for the picture.

You know what I think don't you? 

That the book is still way, way overpriced.

I could not help but notice that it was right next to the Bibles.  Makes sense actually since both require magical thinking in order to take what is written inside seriously.

Is Sarah Palin the DICK of the year for 2011?

"This is totally unfair. Don't you have to HAVE a dick, before you can BE a dick? Why are you looking at me that way?"

Courtesy of GreenFeed:

This is a nomination for Bright Green’s Dick of the Year 2011 award by Daniel Key. To submit your nomination email 200 (or so) words to editors (at) brightgreenscotland (dot) org. 

Since the failed election campaign and after stepping down as Governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin took her charming views on gun ownership, abortion, same-sex marriage, capital punishment and other topics to Fox News. She then used this prime-time television appearance to push the influence of the Tea Party that has recently been astroturfing American politics. Sarah Palin was (seemingly) building up to run as a Republican Presidential Candidate, releasing a book, constantly criticising Barack Obama and visiting states where candidates were campaignin. 

However, just two months ago Sarah Palin officially choose not to run in the presidential election race. While this is good news for world at large, it’s a smack in the face to her supporters, who received this letter in a fundraising drive a few weeks before her announcement: 

“Gov. Palin is on the verge of making her decision… Someone must save our nation from this road to European Socialism. Do you think it should be Gov. Palin? If so, can you send your best, one-time gift to SarahPAC today to help her elect more common-sense conservatives – and show her that we support her if she decides to run?” 

Sarah Palin has effectively used her position as a money making scheme, abusing the position of trust she has with her supporters. SarahPAC, her political action committee, now has $1.4 million that can be spent any way Sarah sees fit.

Okay now for those of us on this blog, choosing Sarah Palin as "the dick of the year" may seem like a no-brainer. But, is it fair?

Don't forget that this was a year that saw Herman Cain deny any inappropriate sexual contact with at least five women who claimed otherwise, and then blamed it on their desire for fame, his Republican opponents, and the DNC.

We also saw Mitt Romney insist that people were corporations, Ron Paul claim that he had no idea there were racist rants on his new letters, and Donald Trump fake a campaign in order to bully the President into showing his long form birth certificate and make a fool out of him.

So considering all possible contenders for this title, is Sarah Palin REALLY the biggest dick of 2011?

Sarah Palin in St. Charles at the "Defending the Republic" tour. Wow, looking...good? Updated!

Courtesy of KSDK:

Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck took the stage in St. Charles Friday night as part of their "Defending the Republic" tour. The St. Charles Family Arena was packed with supporters who came out to support the duo's conservative agenda.

Yeah not so much. I heard that the venue was not even half full.

What is REALLY funny is that somebody sent this tweet with a picture of Palin on the commercial flight to Missouri:

#SarahPalin spotted on flight 2 STL instagr.am/p/PWfRD/ Crew sez SP was rude, wouldn't speak 2 flt attndts, made todd order vodka! #tacky 

Here is the picture of Palin apparently enjoying her "beverage."

Update: I believe the technical term for this part of Palin's career is "freefall."

Update 2: Another picture from the event.

Somehow I don't believe, considering the criteria that he admitted using, Roger Ailes would be very interested in hiring Palin as a Fox News political commentator these days.

Palin-bots hope to convince Palin to run for President by showing up to watch her crappy movie.

Essentially the Palin supporters have become so desperate to find some way to get Sister Sarah into the 2012 race that they have pinned all of their hopes on this one movie, "The Undefeated."

First they hope to convince the voters that by showing up en masse to the film's debut they will show that since THEY are pathetically unintelligent enough to believe this woman could actually handle the job of President, that surely there are OTHER voters pathetically unintelligent enough to believe the same.

From the Sea O'Pee:

If voters in Iowa hear about how a large group of Palin supporters, who did not have tickets to see the Undefeated and did not have any guarantee they would be able to meet the Governor at the post-movie barbeque, still came all the way to a small town like Pella just to show support for her potential candidacy, that should have an impact on voters that I described in the preceding paragraph and the narrative.

"Don't you see? if enough people simply stand outside the theatre waving misspelled signs and chanting incoherently, surely that will convince America that SHE is their only hope to help take this country back to its foundations, back to when black people knew their place was trimming the hedges, NOT trimming defense spending."

The Palinese Liberation Army also hopes that if they show up in large enough  numbers they can convince an even more reluctant hold out that Sarah Palin should run for President.  Sarah Palin herself.

As I speculated about earlier, this event may not only have an impact on the narrative and on voters but it may have a big impact on the Governor’s decision on whether to run for the presidency. If what she is gauging is the amount of spontaneous support that exists for her candidacy, the Undefeated’s debut in Pella, Iowa on Tuesday presents her supporters with a great opportunity to show her that such spontaneous support exists. It’s not often that regular people can impact events that could change the country. Whether Palin runs or not is one such event that could change the country and regular people certainly can impact what decision she arrives at if all goes well Tuesday in Pella, Iowa.

"Come on gang!  I mean surely she quit her bus tour and skipped out on jury duty for something!  She MUST secretly want to run for President, even though all indications are that she does not, she MUST! Or what else do we have to live for? Seriously, what do we have to live for?"

Her supporters are already gettin' excited!

Sadly the drive would be prohibitively long.
A plane ticket round trip STARTS at $1000.
So I'm afraid I'll have to be there in spirit only

I would like to go to Pella but I don't have a car right now. I'm also a military veteran who is still severely underemployed. I have to be careful how I invest my time and very limited money.

Y'all might want to bring your own fixins. I got a hunch they won't be able to feed everyone.
I'll be there in spirit.

However there are a few hardy souls willing to embarrass themselves in public for Granny Grifter.

I already considered that and after C4P asked people to show up, even if they couldn't get a ticket, I canceled my late morning hair appointment Tuesday (it will take a month to get another one) so that I could leave with plenty of time to spare. I have over a three hour drive and I anticipate horrific traffic. I may have to park a long way from the Opera House so I'll be wearing comfortable shoes and sporting dark roots, but I am determined to make it on time.

Whew!  Sounds like quite a robust show of support to me!

By the way the Pee-pods are making a big deal about the Opera House ALREADY being sold out.  Which I guess MIGHT be kind of impressive, if it held more than 324 people.

Man I would give ANYTHING to show up outside of that Opera House on Tuesday to interview these people. That would have to be some of the most entertaining footage ever!  Just watching these poor souls stumbling to come up with a sensible reason for their continued support of this woman would be worth the plane ride alone.

My fingers are crossed that there is a reporter near this place who has that very same idea.

With Donald Trump and Mike Huckabee now out of the running that means more fake campaign money available for Sarah Palin. And she does not hesitate to make a grab for it!

"Gimme, gimme, gimme!"

Courtesy of the Washington Post:

Former Alaska governor Sarah Palin is sending direct mail solicitations nationwide to raise money for her political action committee titled “2012 Can’t Come Fast Enough,” a move that is certain to re-stoke talk of whether she will run for the presidential nomination.

The copy of the letter sent to The Fix came from South Carolina, and SarahPAC Treasurer Tim Crawford said that about 400,000 solicitations were sent out nationwide. While the mailing, which aims to raise contributions for Sarah PAC, says nothing specific about Palin’s own political future the decision to send it will surely raise eyebrows.

“Taking back control of the House last year was only the first step,” Palin writes in the mailer. “Now you and I must fix our eyes on 2012. Our goal is to take back the White House and the Senate.

(You can read the actual fundraising letter here.)

Look I understand how the Teabaggers/conservatives/paint eaters feel.  They are COMPLETELY convinced that the black man in the White House is only a year or two away from taking down the presidential portraits and replacing them black light posters, removing the antique furniture and replacing it with zebra striped futons and leopard spotted throw rugs, and planting marijuana bushes all OVER the White House garden, before inviting his homies from the Chicago hood to come over and roll themselves a blunt as DJ Jazzy Jeff spins Hip Hop records until the wee hours of the morning

Yet every single time they think they have a white knight in shiny armor ready to begin jousting with this black ninja President, their candidate's armor starts to rust right off of their bloated frame, and they fall off their damn horse, before they can even get their lance stiff!

What is a racist conservative to do? 

Desperate times call for desperate measures.  And WHAT could be more desperate than throwing your money at a woman who could not even get through a four year term as governor, wrote a book chock full of the biggest lies ever told, and who would sell her children into slavery reality television if it would just bring in some extra pocket money?

I mean really, how could she be any MORE perfect for the Republican party?  After all, don't ALL Republican politicians have a little Sarah Palin in them somewhere? 

Which Republican politician would NOT want to be paid embarrassing amounts of money, to say incredibly ignorant things, and have it come out of the money set aside to take care of disadvantaged children? 

And which Republican politician would NOT want to receive donations from people struggling just to make ends meet, and whose inherent fear of the black man forces them to actually believe the lies they tell are going to bring about the salvation of their country?

And which one would NOT want to promote a mythology about their personal life so riddled with falsehoods and inaccuracies that even their own children did not know who in the hell they were talking about, yet have barely a word of it challenged by the media?

And finally who would NOT want to be the kind of intelligent, quick witted candidate who could come up with these amazing responses to the "gotcha" questions posed by the "Lamestream" media?



So go ahead Republicans donate like your lives depended on it to Sarah Palin. No really, I encourage it!

That way when a GOP candidate who might actually have the qualifications and intelligence to present a real challenge to President Obama steps out of the shadows, there won't be any money left for them.

But hey, that's not MY problem.

Nor by the way, is it Sarah Palin's problem. Despite anything she might say to the contrary.

Stung by recent bad press, and terrified of the future bestsellers destined to destroy her credibility, Sarah Palin puts the squeeze on her followers before the money well runs dry.

The following are select portions of the plea for more money that the Grizzled Mama sent out to her rapidly dwindling supporters. (I decided to illustrate it with screengrabs from yesterday's Greta Van Susteren interview for your enjoyment.  H/T to Loriah..)

Taking back control of the House last year was only the first step. Now you and I must fix our eyes on 2012.

Can I count on your support as we look ahead to 2012?

I know what a sacred trust it is to be asking you to contribute your hard-earned money to SarahPAC.

I take that trust very seriously, especially in these hard economic times.

But there’s so much at stake now!

It’s imperative that you and I fight to end deficit spending – protect our free market entrepreneurial system – drill here and drill now for responsible energy independence – secure our borders – and strengthen our national defense to stand up to Islamic extremists and other enemies of America.

please send your best gift possible to SarahPAC today.

Thank you for joining me in the fight to keep America the country we know and love!

With an Alaskan Heart,

Sarah Palin

You know if the people who loved her REALLY wanted to help her, they would stop sending her money and pool their resources to get her some top notch psychiatric care just as soon as humanly possible.

Because ladies and gentlemen, this woman is losing it BIG TIME!

(To read the pitch for the Flying Monkey cookie money in its entirety, just click here to visit the Sea O'Pee.)

Feeling under assault Sarah Palin summons the Flying Monkeys.

Come to me my minions! Come and protect your Queen!

This was posted over at the Sea O'Pee yesterday:

The White House and Congress heard loud-and-clear that Americans don’t want cradle-to-grave government control of our lives. We don’t want government bureaucrats deciding what kind of lightbulb we should use, what kind of cars we should drive, and which doctors can and can’t care for us and our families. And we don’t want our President continuing to manipulate the U.S. energy supply. What we want are the freedoms and opportunities to make a better life for ourselves in this most exceptional nation on earth…

Now, you and I must fix our eyes on 2012. Our goal is to take back the White House and the Senate. We must take back control of Congress and the White House in order to undo the damage done by the disastrous Obama/Pelosi/Reid agenda…

Can I count on your support as we look ahead to 2012?

Here let me translate that from Palin-speak to people talk:

Nobody is treating me like a viable candidate, and Trump and his alien hair have stolen the attention of the Teabaggers, Birthers, and lunatics away from me. 

To make matters worse that "Rhymes with Harlot" Professor is getting people to pay attention to that ingenious lie I told back in 2008. (You know, the one that made all of you like me in the first place.), and THIS time people are actually scrutinizing my lies and looking at the evidence. Shit!

Now I am feeling very depressed, and feel another cold sore coming on, so I need all of you to quickly send me all of your money so that I can splash my face with it, and soak in the happiness that only your hard earned cash can bring me.

Prove your love for me so that I might rise again!

We have seen this pattern all too many times before.  Palin feels under attack by people who insist upon using logic, so she releases a story that indentifies her as a victim, and then asks for "support" from the low hanging fruit which still adores her.

And the truly sad this is that apparently this still works to some degree.

If some enterprising young clinician wanted to make some real money in the near future he would start a 12 step program called "Getting Over Your Allegiance to Sarah Palin!"  My guess is that in the next six months to a year they could make some serious money. 

Assuming of course these poor bastards have any money left after Snowdrift Snooki is done with them.

Sarah does Haiti part two: "There! Now I touched some brown people! Take that you haters who call me a racist!"

From the Samaritan's Purse website:



Okay that video literally made me sick to my stomach.  Using these suffering children as a back drop to push forward Franklin's version of Christan propaganda is horrific, and I don't think I have seen the Grizzled Mama look so uncomfortable since last week's "hunting" episode of SPA when her daddy kept handing her that loaded "killing stick" over and over again. ("Will it kick?")

Did Palin actually refer to Samaritan's Purse as an "efficient organization?"

From the Guardian:

Samaritan's Purse has been accused during other humanitarian crises of putting its evangelical mission ahead of more tangible assistance to those in need. The organisation raises large sums of money from US Christians but the proceeds are not always visible on the ground.

During the 1994 Rwandan refugee crisis, Samaritan's Purse was criticised by other aid organisations for spending large amounts on luxury accommodation for its staff and providing only minimal assistance as tens of thousands of people died of cholera. That assistance principally consisted of sending stretcher bearers to carry the sick for treatment as a third person ran alongside the victim reading passages from the Bible.

In 2001, Samaritan's Purse was scorned for requiring victims of El Salvador's earthquake to attend prayer meetings before they could receive aid.

Knowing Palin the way I do, I believe this is the ONLY kind of charity organization she would be connected to.  You know, one that hides their REAL agenda behind philanthropic activities.

There was another interesting observation made in this Guardian article concerning Samaritan's Purse as well:

It declined to reveal her itinerary and told reporters to leave its compound in Haiti before the former Alaska governor's arrival, saying it was under a "security lockdown".

Really?  A "security lockdown?"  The only threat to Palin posed by reporters is the threat that she will be revealed as a giant phony, or that somebody will photograph her daughter from an unflattering angle.  This idea that Sarah Palin is putting herself at risk is just to keep her minions in a lather as they constantly worry about her safety.

Update: I guess even Sarah could not keep ALL unflattering pictures from seeing the light of day.

(H/T to both Sharon and Facebook Lurker for the pics.)

Palin was paid $75,000 to speak at fundraiser that will bring in "several hundred dollars." WTF? (Update: Headline should read "several hundred THOUSAND dollars.")

From 6abc.com:

School officials hope her appearance in the end will bring in several hundred dollars. Palin's appearance fee, thought to be $75,000, was reportedly covered by private donors.

Okay let me make a little confession here.  Your Uncle Gryphen is not exactly a math whiz.

Oh sure I can balance my checkbook and calculate how much to tip my waiter, but if I were your accountant you would probably be headed to jail.  Just so you know.

So perhaps it is due to my math dyslexia that  I am having trouble understanding WHY anybody would pay $75,000 to have somebody help to raise "several hundred dollars."  Why would it not make more sense, and have a much larger positive impact, if these "private donors" simply donated their $75,000 to the school? Did I forget to carry the 1 or something?

Okay well let's give the Plumstead Christian School people the benefit of the doubt.  I mean after all they ARE "educators!"

(Update:  Oops I have egg on my face.  I DID cut and paste that report above directly from 6ABC.com, and if you click the link you can still see that it is written that way,  but apparently whoever did the transcipt left off the THOUSAND after the hundred.  I should have caught that when I listened to the video of the news report but for some reason I didn't.  I apologize for the mistake. )


Seriously? They paid $75,000 to hear THAT speech?

All she is doing is saying the same stupid things over, and over, and over again.

Well at least it looks like she is aware that she is being redundant.  Here is what she said yesterday while making an appearance with Texas Governor Rick Perry.

Palin opened her talk with anecdotes about her family. At one point, she noted she has told many of the same stories before.

"I need to run for office just so I have more material to share in my speeches," she said to applause.

Okay did you catch that?  Palin actually said, in front of an audience even, that she is planning to run for office to have more anecdotes that she can then charge people between $75,0000 to a $100,000 to listen to.

It sounds like she is well aware that she can't win, but damn it, she needs new stories to tell!

You know if I idolized people who could manipulate morons out of their money, Sarah Palin would be my queen! 

Just think about it for a minute.  She pretends to run a serious Presidential campaign, asking for millions of dollars in political donations.  She then quits part way through the election cycle to write a book, that these same people will pay $19.95 apiece to read, and then later will pay her an additional $100,000 in order to listen to her talk about it in person.  Fucking unbelievable!

I am beginning to think that the litmus test for mental retardation should simply be to ask somebody if they are a Sarah Palin supporter or not.  I mean seriously, is there a lower functioning group of people on this entire planet?