Celebrity gossip site includes Bristol Palin as a "celebrity" who lost weight on Dancing with the Stars. Wait, what?

So this is how the images are displayed on Page Six for an article entitled "Celebrities who lost tons of weight on Dancing with the Stars."

However as anybody who has been visiting this site for the last several years will notice immediately those pictures are actually reversed.

This image actually shows Bristol's weight GAIN while on the show.

This was Bristol at the very end of the show in 2010.

In fact her bizarre weight gain earned so much attention that she attempted to explain it away in her ghostwritten book using logic that could only convince the dumbest human beings on the planet:

So let me address this issue head-on. I'm not skinny and I'm not fat. I'm a girl like everyone else who lives in this era of airbrushed photos who's trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle. And do you know what? I'm succeeding. Everyone talks about how strenuous the Dancing with the Stars workouts are, but they're nothing compared to any high school basketball practice. Though one contestant famously lost forty-one pounds, I have to assume it was because she was not too active beforehand. Because I was an active kid before I started, this show actually took my activity level down a notch. That meant I was not going to be seeing rapid weight loss. Which was fine with me.

Yes that is right, Bristol claims that she gained so much weight because she was so incredibly active before the exhausting rehearsal schedule that she actually gained weight, while EVERYBODY ELSE lost weight at an accelerated rate.

Kelly Obourne

Now I have no idea who paid this tabloid site to engage in this revisionist history, but it is hard to believe they actually fucked up this badly on their own.

Comedian Natasha Leggero not only nails Bristol Palin's "fame" BS but predicted what a Donald Trump presidential campaign would look like. (NSFW language.)

The only correction I have is that Bristol was not working in a dentist's office when she was offered the DWTS gig. She was "working" for the same dermatologist who she is "working" for today.

Other than that this is spot on.

Gossip website confused by Bristol Palin's new look, thinks it might have something to do with her pregnancy and not her jay Leno chin implant.

Courtesy of Fishwrapper:  

This is, believe it or not, a little selfie that Bristol Palin took to celebrate the six year anniversary of someone employing her. It's ... it sure is something, isn't it? In fact, we wouldn't have even known this was Bristol if we'd just come across the photo, but she posted it on her own site, so I guess we're just looking at the new Bristol here. Did pregnancy make her look like a completely different person? Did she get her brows done? Is she taking this selfie in a funhouse mirror? There's got to be an explanation for this, but for now, let's just allow ourselves to get lost in the weirdness. 

Okay I get it. If you have not been paying a lot of attention, and the last time you saw a photo of Bristol she looked like this...

....and now she looks like this...

Courtesy of Bristol's Pikore account.

...you might indeed be a tad confused.

I mean the woman looks pregnant when she is supposedly not pregnant, and working out ten hours a day, but looks substantially slimmer and trimmer after announcing to the world that she IS knocked up with a child from an as yet unnamed sperm donor.

That would confuse just about anybody who was not aware of the Palin's penchant for peculiar pregnancy bodies.

Sarah Palin March 26, 2008.

Flashback Monday. Bristol Palin assures the world that she is never going to have premarital sex or get pregnant out of wedlock again.

For real, for real, for real, I cannot understand how this Candie's advertisement did not result in a ton of acting gigs for Bristol.

I mean she's a natural to play a woman coming out of a coma, a victim of a serious head injury, or a mentally impaired woman-child trying to pass herself off as knowledgeable about birth control.

Now see THIS illustrates exactly why Bristol was so unmercifully mocked after news of this second pregnancy broke.

It was not slut shaming, it was simply hypocrite shaming, and she deserved every bit of it.

Is Dakota Meyer trolling the Palins? Yeah, I think he is.

Courtesy of Meyer's Instagram account:  

dakotameyer0317 In this day and age people seem concerned only with things like Dancing With the Stars and Bruce Jenner, discussion held to the trivial matters of pop culture. At what point, Nero, do you put the violin down and notice that Rome is burning? 

There is the ongoing concern with ISIS both over seas and at home. The only people fighting and winning seem to be the Kurds and an off duty patrol officer in Texas. There is a ever growing divide amongst peoples in this nation that needs to mend now, not later. There is political corruption at every turn and a looming national debt that has mortgaged our great grandchildrens' future it so big. 

Let's start turning the conversation from the entertaining inconsequential to the relevant and timely concerns that face us. 

Well certainly no points for grammar in this post, but he is fear mongering with the best of them. 

However it is the more "subtle" message I found interesting.

Mentioning DWTS outright makes it almost impossible not to recognize that this criticism is aimed directrly at Bristol, after all there are a number of other reality shows he could have called out by name.

And the graphic showing People magazine and TMZ, where the Palin family have been covered extensively, is not exactly vague either.

So I would assume that now that Meyer has rid himself of all things Palin, he wants to make as much distance between himself and their crazy ass family as possible.

So how better to do that then to take a giant dump on the things that define them these days, reality shows, paparazzi coverage, and pseudo celebrity status.

However I would be remiss if I did not point out that Meyer himself is currently helping to raise money to make a movie with his pals, currently uses his fame to hawk t-shirts on the internet, and that he did appear on "Amazing America" with Palin last year.

Remember Dakota?

So if Meyer REALLY wants to differentiate himself from the Palin clan perhaps he ought to work on being less of a hypocrite.

P.S. Is it wrong that I really hope that this is only the first of many not so veiled attacks that Meyer launches at his former fiance and her family?

Wonkette has all kinds of fun with the fact that Bristol Palin is shacking up with the MOH recipient that her mommy picked out for her.

Here are a few outraged snippets courtesy of Wonkette:  

Well, shooty Murkin hero Meyer posted to his Instagramz that he and Palin are shacked up in Kentucky, even though they have not even had their sacred union blessed by any manner of Sky Daddy, not even the Sky Daddy that doesn’t hate gays, just kidding there’s no Sky Daddy that doesn’t hate gays! 

This is not the first time Bristol Palin, Ambassador for Abstinence to America’s Youth, has played house with a man who weren’t her husband. 

Like, there was this time, when she lived with the awful Gino (AWFUL) but Luntzed It Up and renamed it “trial marriage.” 

FYI, in 2010 — the year after Bristol made $260,000-plus to promote not-fucking — she sued No. One babydaddy Levi Johnston for $1750 per month in child support, and then seven months later got engaged to him for a second time, and then broke up with him again three weeks later, just as she was set to earn up to $350,000 for Dancing With The Stars. And then last year she sued him for child support again, claiming a zero income for 2013 and 2014 (Okay this is a mistake because those papers that Wonkette is referring to, only included Levi's income as he was the non-custodial parent.), even though in June 2013 she told ABC she worked at a dermatologist’s office, look, she said it RIGHT HERE. That was before going on to call her sister Willow — who had MOVED IN WITH HER (AGAIN) TO HELP WITH HER (BRISTOL’S) SON — “not much of a help.” Which is exactly the same thing Bristol said in the second link in this very post, because Willow did not finish roasting the chicken for Bristol’s date with Gino after Bristol told her THREE TIMES to leave and then bitched that she left. 

Gotta love Wonkette's take on all of this. And of course they are not at all wrong about the hypocrisy of an abstinence only spokesperson having shacked up with several different men, NONE of who it seems were not given open and easy access. (And for Wonkette's information there WAS a very brief time before their announced engagement when Bristol and Levi "shacked up.")

They also manage to encapsulate Bristol's volatile nature, and her scatter brained approach to stumbling through her life like a sailor on leave looking to catch a venereal disease.

The very things. by the way, that would seem to doom any quicky marriage. Even if it were NOT to a self described PTSD sufferer who had attempted to blow his own brains out with one the many, many guns that he keeps close at hand.

More than two weeks after the fact Bristol Palin attacks President Obama by misrepresenting what he said. Drunk, tardy, and stupid is no way to go through life young lady.

Hey let's take a trip in the way back machine shall we?

Remember back around Halloween when the President said this:

"Too often parents have no choice but to put their kids in cheaper daycare, that maybe doesn't have the kinds of programming that makes a big difference in a child's development. And sometime there may just not be any slots, or the best programs may be too far away. And sometimes someone, usually mom, leaves the workplace to stay home with the kids, which then leaves her earning a lower wage for the rest of her life as a result. And that's not a choice want Americans to make."

And then afterwards the conservatives edited the remarks to make it sound like the President was  dissing stay at home moms, and oh did they have themselves a fine little freakout over that.

Well apparently somebody forgot to rouse Bristol from her alcohol induced slumber and she missed the entire thing. Oh the humanity.

But fear not, on Friday Bristol, with the help of the ever punctual Nancy French, penned a much too late, and completely unnecessary response.

It is essentially full of the same kind of stupid as those other conservative responses (Including one from her mother twelve days earlier.) were.

However it also adds this to give it that oh so personal touch: 

As a single mom, I have to work. In fact, I drive to Anchorage every day and clock in and out — just to make sure I have a steady income to put bread on the table for my son. However, I don’t think that we should look down on moms who have the option of staying home!

Yeah, no she doesn't.  This job, which I assume is the same dermatologist office job that she has been bragging about for the last five years, is not a real job in the sense that she ever even has to show up for work.

How else to explain her ablity to take huge leaves of absence to do DWTS?

Not once..

but twice?

Or have her own reality show?

Or make that appearance on Celebrity Wife Swap?

No this is not the lifestyle of either a stay at home mom OR a working mother.

This is the lifestyle of a person whose family has millions of dollars to spend, and who has personally made over a million dollars herself by trading in on her mother's famous name.

The President was speaking of real workign families who have to scrimp and save in order to meet their monthly payments, and who sometimes have difficulty affording good childcare.

He was NOT speaking about a spoiled little brat, who convinced her boyfriend to impregnate her and then told the world he raped her, who drunkenly picks fights a parties and then claims to have been assaulted, and who flies all over the country appearing on various television shows while claiming to work a 9 to 5 job in an office in Anchorage, Alaska.

This would have been an ignorant post if it had happened two weeks ago, but now it is simply a pathetic cry for attention.

Wanna a really scare your neighbors this Halloween? Dress up like a Palin family member.

So Raw Story decided to list possible ideas for Christian or hypocrisy meme themed Halloween costumes.

Among others they list science deniers, gay marriage, the Marxist-Nazi-Anti-Christ version of President Obama, and of course the Abstinence Spokesperson.

Under that last one they use the following description:  

ABSTINENCE ONLY 

What You’ll Need: Long brown hair or a wig; a suit (skirt and jacket) or a professional dancer outfit; name tags; a sharpie; a pillow; a real life or toy baby or toddler; a bottle of Mountain Dew or a bottle of Bleach; condoms; a hole-puncher. 

Instructions: Put on a suit or a Dancing with the stars outfit and shove a pillow in it so you look pregnant. Also wear a long brown hair wig. Write Bristol Palin on a name tag and put it on yourself. Write Tripp Palin on a name tag and put it on real or doll baby. Take the condoms out of the wrapper and hole punch through each one in a few places. Then put the condoms in your pocket. Carry around the baby in one hand all night. In the other hand carry the bottle of bleach or Mountain Dew. Offer people sips and explain that abstinence only is the best policy but that if they’re in a jam, they should drink some Mountain Dew so they don’t get pregnant. Take out the hole-punched condoms and explain that those never work.

Now where do we think they got the idea for a Dancing with the Stars outfit with a pillow shoved up into it?

 Boy THAT would certainly frighten the neighbors into giving up their candy.

Gee it's almost as if not everybody was fooled by this explanation for Bristol's DWTS weight gain from her book:

 "This show actually took my activity level down a notch."

I guess the Palins simply think that EVERYBODY is as stupid as they are.

Joan Rivers dead at 81.

Courtesy of People magazine:  

Joan Rivers, a raucous and often-ubiquitous comedic presence on TV and nightclubs since the 1960s, has died. She was 81. 

"It is with great sadness that I announce the death of my mother, Joan Rivers," daughter Melissa said in a statement obtained by PEOPLE. 

"She passed peacefully at 1:17 p.m. surrounded by family and close friends. My son and I would like to thank the doctors, nurses, and staff of Mount Sinai Hospital for the amazing care they provided for my mother. Cooper and I have found ourselves humbled by the outpouring of love, support, and prayers we have received from around the world. They have been heard and appreciated. 

"My mother’s greatest joy in life was to make people laugh. Although that is difficult to do right now, I know her final wish would be that we return to laughing soon." 

Like anybody who grew up in the sixties and seventies I watched Joan Rivers numerous times on the Tonight Show and other late night  comedy shows, and I always thought she was hilarious.

I will admit that I was only vaguely aware of her career as a fashion critic during award shows, but then when she did that "Wife Swap" with Bristol she returned to my radar.

So of course my favorite Joan Rivers quote will always be this one directed at Bristol:

"In my generation she would have been known as the little whore down the block."

Though I am also partial to this one concerning Bristol's weight gain during DWTS:  

“She should not have been there. Instead of cha-cha-cha, she must have been doing cha-cha-chew. How did she dance for eight hours a day and manage to gain weight?” 

Yep, she's going to be missed.

Celebrity gossip site claims that Bristol Palin is worth a million dollars. You don't say?

Courtesy of Richest News:  

Bristol Palin is a well known TV personality and speaker. What is more, Palin has written memoir, Not Afraid of Life: My Journey so Far, which became a bestseller. One of her main activities is being the spokesperson for teen pregnancy prevention, she is a part of The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy and is a Teen Pregnancy Prevention Ambassador. Although Bristol received a lot of criticism as she herself was a teen mother, Palin is still a very active speaker. How rich is Bristol Palin? It has been made (in) a statement that Bristol’s net worth is 1 million dollars. 

Now Richest News does not cite it's sources for determining how much the Mama Grizzly cub is worth, but there are other sources on the internet making the same claims.

I find this somewhat interesting as I have heard that Bristol often pleads poverty and tries to get Levi to fork over money for Tripp's medical checkups and schooling, And this is on top of the many thousands too much he is paying her in child support.

Hmm, I wonder what the Johnstons will do with this when they finally get to court in September?

Bristol Palin the subject of yet another blind item.

This was the blind item from back in September of 2012, courtesy of Crazy Days and Nights:

This female celebrity on Dancing With The Stars has been hitting on a dancer from day one. He keeps turning her down. She asked him why and he said it was because she was not famous enough or make enough money for him to be interested.

And, drum roll please, this was the reveal:

Bristol Palin/Maksim

 Of course Maksim has never made any secret of his dislike for Bristol: 

On Monday night, I found out that she went on record saying that I said something about her along the lines of, “I don’t like her because she’s still here and she’s not a good enough dancer.” Every time I’ve opened my mouth about Bristol, I’ve been nothing but supportive…For her to come out on Monday night and totally smear my name the way she did, that’s just completely uncalled for…I have no idea where she got it from, but wherever she got it from, shame on her and shame on whoever told her that.

At that time it seemed that the kerfuffle was just over her lack of dancing ability, and Sarah Palin fans keeping her on the show in spite of that. But now it looks like the tension might have been due to something more.

Oh well, just another tidbit of information for Levi to use in court this summer.

Uber Christian, Candace Cameron-Bure, is being compared to Bristol Palin because she is modest. I'm sorry what?

Former Full House star, and current DWTS contestant, Candace Cameron-Bure has as her partner Mark Ballas, the same partner that Bristol had both times she embarrassed herself on the show.  So apparently that, plus the Christian spin, not to mention that they are comparing her to Bristol by name, has made Brancy feel the need to sound off on poor Cameron's dancing costume dilemma.

From Brancy's blog:  

As I’ve written before, Candice Cameron-Bure is trying to get through Dancing with the Stars with her dignity and modesty in tact. 

Here’s a great clip where she explains how she balances Christianity and the sometimes sexy dances. 

Great job, Candace!

Aw poor Candace. Here she is being pulled out of virtual anonymity, and put on national television in front of a huge audience, just to find herself worried that God will see a nip slip and send her to burn in hell for all eternity.

Well I guess she could go full Bristol.

Not that I considered Bristol to have been terribly modest.

I guess it's still Christian as long as there are no wine coolers involved.

My memory, at least of the first season, was that Bristol's "modesty" was less about covering any exposed skin and more about hiding the fact that she was swelling up like the Hindenburg.

And when Bristol DID have the extra pounds suctioned out lose weight she did not exactly demonstrate any Christian modesty.

Besides would a moral Christian girl really behave like this? 

This former reality star has not been on a show in some time, but because of who she is and her family she still has A+ list name recognition. Apparently she is also yours for the night if you get her drunk enough. Five nights in a row she got wasted. Three of those nights she went home with a different guy. Hope she used protection otherwise her next reality show is going to be Maury. Now that would be a great episode of television. 

So I guess if Candace is REALLY concerned about being a "good girl" then more power to her, but having Mark Ballas compare her to Bristol is really doing her a disservice.

Bristol Palin is embarrassed that her generation are not as hard working as she is. Yeah, she actually said that.

Courtesy of Brancy's blog:  

“Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth.” Proverbs 10:4 

I came across this Scripture and wanted to pass it along. I love it because it reminds me of my parents and the work ethic they instilled in all of us kids. If you want something, you go out and work for it. 

No one owes you anything, and I’m embarrassed to be in a generation that doesn’t have that mindset. 

Honest, hard work, is the only way to do it right. Don’t rely on anyone to provide for you. 

The world doesn’t owe you anything!

You know if I were a millennial I might be inspired to slap the shit out of Bristol Palin for posting something like this. (No, I am not advocating violence, but urges are urges.)

What a lying, hypocritical bitch!

Literally EVERYTHING this idiot has was handed to her on a silver platter.

Her reality show, her book deal, her speaking engagements, her high school diploma, EVERYTHING was given to her because she has a famous parent, and she did next to nothing to deserve any of it!

Hard working Bristol Palin trying to remember how to work a car.

There are reams of evidence to prove that when Bristol is left to her own devices she essentially disappoints her employers, does not meet her obligations, or ends up pregnant again.

Remember this is a girl who took credit for a ghostwritten book, has somebody else write posts for her blog, and has failed miserably to even raise her young son correctly.

And is there anybody left on this planet who actually still believes this loser has that job at the dermatologist? And believe me, when she did have it that was all due to her mother's influence as well.

The very LAST person on earth who should be giving advice on hard work, is Bristol Palin.

Congratulations to Bristol Palin, for making the number nine spot on Radar Online's list of "Stars Who are Famous for Doing Nothing."

Courtesy of Radar Online: 

Bristol Palin: Former Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin’s daughter Bristol caused a sensation when it was revealed she was a pregnant and unmarried teenager during the 2008 campaign. Bristol and her baby daddy, Levi Johnston, were supposed to wed but never did. After Sarah lost the election, Bristol decided to parlay her fame into a stint on Dancing with the Stars in 2010. Despite questionable dance skills and performing in a monkey suit, she finished 3rd! Later, the Alaska girl released a memoir, Not Afraid of Life: My Journey So Far. Incredibly, the reality journey continued in 2012, when she starred on Lifetime’s Bristol Palin: Life’s a Tripp, and returned to DWTS as part of the all-star cast.

Sadly they left off  Bristol's most recent foray into "things I can only do because my past name is Palin" with her appearance on "Celebrity Wife Swap" with Joan and Melissa Rivers, which you have to admit what QUITE an achievement since neither Bristol or Melissa are indeed wives.

Have you ever stopped to imagine what it must be like to be Bristol? (Try not to gag.)

You would have been paid to talk about abstinence even though you were unable and unwilling to practice it in your own life. You would be paid to appear on your mother's short lived reality show as a  mythologized version of yourself. You would have been able to place third in a dance contest even though everybody who watched could see that you sucked balls. You would have a book ghostwritten for you in which you were able to attack the father of your son for not being an involved parent, even though you tricked him into impregnating you, and were actively keeping him from seeing his son. You would then get your own short lived reality show during which you could show the world just how screwed up your kid was while continuing to blame his father for not being an active parent, while once again actively keeping him away from the boy. Then for some reason you would be invited back onto DWTS to finally be treated as you deserved and get kicked off in week four. (And even that was being charitable.) Then you would have a new blog launched in you name apparently to give you some credibility as an uber Christian political pundit. (This would be ghostwritten for you as well. Of course.) And finally you would be invited to appear on "Celebrity Wife Swap," even though you are unmarried, during which you would act like a spoiled brat and once again show your the world your complete lack of parenting skills.

You know after reading all of what I just wrote all I can ask is, how in the hell is she ONLY number nine on a list of people who are famous for doing nothing?

Everybody, and I mean everybody, should be this excited about science.

This, of course, is from Bill Nye's appearance on Dancing with the Stars.

I watched a clip and I have to admit it was painful to sit through, however there is NO DOUBT that Bill Nye is the man when it comes to explaining science, and using the show to spread the good word is an admirable endeavor.

Blind Item revealed. It was Bristol!

"Quick somebody tell me how Alaska got Sarah Palin to leave THEM alone!"

So this was posted over at Crazy Days and Nights back in September as a blind item:

This female celebrity on Dancing With The Stars has been hitting on a dancer from day one. He keeps turning her down. She asked him why and he said it was because she was not famous enough or make enough money for him to be interested.

Yesterday they revealed who the item was about:

Bristol Palin and Maksim

The funny thing is that Bristol was by far the most popular choice, but there were a number of different male dancers that were mentioned as the one she was stalking.

Nice to see that nothing about Bristol has changed. She is still throwing herself at every Tom, Dick, and Harry with a dick.

Just think if Maks had played his cards right he could now be a nobody living in Alaska too!

In other news that nobody should really care about, Bristol Palin is trying to use her "fame" to snare a man.

Every time I see that Levi guy he keeps pointing at me and laughing. What's that about?

Courtesy of Brancy's blog:  

You know how my critics said that you tea partiers got me through DWTS? (Because they did you mean?) Well, it’s time to activate again! :) 

My friend (Guy I want to see naked) Joey Junker is competing in the FOX “Redefine Your Limits” Slednecks 15 Breakthrough Performance Contest! Slednecks makes outerwear, apparel, gear, clothing and snowmobiles. The company selected him as having one of the best performances in Slednecks 15, and now it’s up to fans to decide who’s the best! 

Joey is locked in a tight race right now… he can really use our help, so will you take a moment to vote for him online? All you have to do is go here, enter your email address, and select “Joey Junker!”

You know while it is true that I am usually kind of down on Bristol, you know because she is a terrible person and all, but this time I think we might actually want to help her get together with this poor man's Shaggy.

After all HE had a big dumb inarticulate animal slobbering over him all the time too.

And besides who doesn't want to see Granny Grifter's daughter become Bristol Junker? (I know I do!)

Personally I find it hysterical that Bristol is publicly trying to organize the people who ONLY supported her during the first DWTS competition because they thought her mother might actually run for the President, and are now angry and disillusioned, to vote for some random guy simply because she wants the opportunity to give him an STD.

This by the way is my favorite part of the post. (Try not to laugh.)  

I know what’s it’s like to be in an intense competition, and the support from friends and fans means so much!

Intense competition? Bristol?

You remember Bristol's "intense performance" capabilities right? 

Bristol hiding her lack of ability in a gorilla costume

Bristol in September 2010, showing results of intense exercise.

Bristol crying because she knows she is out of her league.

Oh yeah she REALLY worked hard to become the worst competitor EVER to appear on DWTS.

If Joey Junker approaches competition like Bristol Palin approaches competition he has NO chance of winning anything. Except you know the booby prize.

Yep.

DWTS pro WANTED to be paired with Bristol Palin this season. Want to guess why?

Valentin Chmerkovskiy with Elisabetta Canalis

Courtesy of the Examiner:  

Val(Valentin Chmerkovskiy), a relative newcomer to DWTS, wasn't too successful coming into Season 15, the all-star season. He had been paired up with Elisabetta Canalis and Sherri Shepherd for his first two seasons. He really had high hopes for Sherri Shepherd, but they were eliminated in the third week. So Val decided he would set things up the way he liked them for the all-stars. 

"Going into [Season 15] I had very different views and my imagination was taking me in a different way," Val revealed to Entertainment Tonight. "My expectations were very, very different. I was really happy to the idea of Bristol Palin, only because I was so discouraged with my last two seasons that I was like, look, I'm going into the all-stars season, which is definitely going to be the most competitive, and the last two seasons I've been eliminated in [Week] 2, 3. ... I was like, Bristol? At least I'll have an excuse. At least they'll be a reason and I'll be like 'Well, I did my best.'" 

Yep, THAT'S the way everybody sees the Palins these days. Destined to fail.

It must be so much fun around the Palin dining table arguing about which one of you is the biggest source of embarrassment.

Is it crazy word salad spewer Sarah, pimp daddy Todd, eternally clumsy/pregnant Bristol, wild child Willow, or the pathetic coat tail clinging "Two Chucks?"

You know I think the only one who can really feel proud of himself is Trig.

Hell if you think about it he may be the smartest, most talented, and most ethical one of the bunch.

Once relatively famous bag lady spotted at LAX.

I know what you're thinking, "Gryphen, WHY would you pick on the lovely Paz de la Huerta, famous model, and one of the stars of HBO's scintillating series "Boardwalk Empire?"

Well I wouldn't obviously. I have no bone to pick with Paz de la Huerta, and in fact have watched several episodes of "Boardwalk Empire," and enjoyed them immensely.

I'm not talking about her. I'm talking about the pathetic creature behind her.

Yep that one. The one staring daggers into the back of the actress/model.

Oh you can almost see in her bloodshot eyes how jealous she is that the cameras are trained are the much more glamorous starlet, while at the same time hoping like crazy that nobody recognizes her in her frumpy woolen poncho/comforter from her bedroom in Wasilla.

I assume that since this picture was posted yesterday that she was arriving to support her daughter's last night as the most pathetic contestant to ever appear on Dancing with the Stars.

Though I have to say I don't remember seeing her in the crowd.

Is it possible that she had other business in the City of Angels? Or perhaps the dress code for audience members demanded that they not be wearing the bedding from their house in lieu of actual clothing.

Bristol Palin's final DWTS "performance." Clearly she never learned a thing. Update!

I actually have mixed feelings about Mark Ballas, since in many ways he is now a Palin enabler, but I do feel sorry for him watching as he dances like a madman while essentially dragging a wet bag of sand across the stage.

And all Bristol can manage is to shake her breasts which was essentially the first thing she ever learned in order to cover for her lack of ability. In other words not a single thing has changed.

This clip also includes Pamela Anderson who I think is a pretty poor dancer as well, however next to "Bristol the misfiring Pistol" she looks positively acrobatic. (Check out her high kicks, and then imagine Bristol throwing her leg up like that. You know without the benefit of wine coolers.)

Really the best thing about this performance is that it will be the LAST one of Bristol's shuffling, off rhythm, zombie walks that we will have to suffer through, as even the obviously learning disabled DWTS producers must by now realize that she is simply an embarrassment to the show, to the producers, and to the very idea of dance.

P.S. Just for comparison sake here is the opening number which features all of this season's contestants. Don't worry it is easy to pick Palin out of the crowd, she is the one that appears to be on life support.

Update: Huffington Post has a short blurb on Bristol's appearance and a picture.

"I'm definitely in better shape than I was last time, definitely. I'm just more active and I cut all the crap out of my diet! It's that simple," she told Us Weekly in September. "And my kid's a lot more rowdy, a lot more active. I'm running after him a lot! He's huge! He thinks he's a teenager already." 

Sarah Palin's daughter also has a new rumored love interest: snowmobiler Joey Junker, 30, who is also from Alaska.

So essentially BP is still claiming that the weight difference from her last appearance is due solely to cutting the "crap" out of her diet and chasing her son around. A workout regime that has worked wonders for many a young mother. Yeah right!

Gee I imagine that the weight loss book that the family is writing will only be two or three pages long then.

Chapter One: Don't eat crap!

Chapter Two: Chase a small boy around.

Chapter Three: Pay me for this advice!

Update 2: When the Palins DO write that weight loss book, they might not want to have any pictures like this included.

Not to be judgmental, but perhaps Bristol needs to convince Tripp to run up and down a couple of flights of stairs, so she can chase him and firm up those all important gluteus maximus muscles. You know, since HE'S her only identified source of exercise.