During worst floods in American history Donald Trump takes the time to promote book by Palin ghostwriter.

A great book by a great guy, highly recommended! https://t.co/3jbDDN8YmJ

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 27, 2017

If you click that image you will see that this is another book ghostwritten by Nancy "I have no soul" French.

Which is kind of odd since Nancy came out hard against Trump, and her husband even launched an over in the blink of an eye campaign to run against him for president.

Still this Clarke guy is one of the few black folks willing to support Trump publicly, so maybe that supersedes his dislike for the French family.

(P.S. To be fair Trump DID tweet about all of the flooding gong on right now, but still...)

David and Nancy French learn all about irony, the alt-right way.

Courtesy of TPM: 

David French, a columnist for National Review, and his wife Nancy French, a columnist for the Washington Post, have come under what French called “an unending torrent of abuse that I wouldn’t wish on anyone” in a column published Friday. He describes how, more than a year ago, he began seeing images of his daughter’s face photoshopped into gas chambers or slave ships, and how the comment section of his wife’s blog on Patheos filled with images of extreme violence. 

French’s adopted daughter is black and was called “niglet” and “dindu” by French’s online harassers, who also claimed his wife cheated on him with black men while he was deployed to Iraq. It's a common charge among far-right internet trolls who often accuse others of being cuckolded, both sexually and ideologically. 

French recounts how, immediately after he declined to mount an independent run for president, his wife received an email from a Trump supporter “who informed her that he knew the business end of a gun and told her directly that she should shut her mouth or he’d take action.” In another incident, French wrote that a phone call between his wife and her elderly father was interrupted by a third angry voice on the call, spurring “a brief, anxious search inside my father-in-law’s home for a potential intruder and yet another call to law enforcement.”

This is how French ends his National Review article:  

Two weeks ago Nancy and I were enjoying lunch with friends after church. My son’s football coach asked if “things had calmed down” after the tumult of the summer. I grabbed my phone, said “let’s see,” and opened my Twitter mentions. I laughed at the first one, a standard profane rant calling me a traitor for opposing Trump, but when my wife looked, her face twisted up in shock. There they were, just below, more tweets from more men, aimed directly at her. She burst into tears. 

So, no, things have not “calmed down,” and I’m always amused when people tell me that I belong to Never Trump because it makes me feel good about myself. There’s nothing that gives me pleasure about this election season. But if I can do anything to expose and oppose this latest debasement of our politics and culture, and to defend my wife and daughter, then at least I will have purpose.

Look I don't think it is okay for ANYBODY to be treated in this manner.

But it hard to feel sympathy for somebody who had no problem supporting the beta version of Trump, but then acts terrified to see who supports Sarah Palin 2.0.

In many ways Nancy French was instrumental in helping Sarah Palin expand her brand and fire up the very same group of right wing nutjobs who are currently suggesting that she be burned at the stake.

Nancy French helped to put the words in Palin's mouth that her knuckle dragging fans found so inspiring, and even helped her wayward daughter attempt to repair her reputation by writing a book accusing Levi Johnston of rape.

I wonder if she ever lost any sleep at the notion of his face "twisting up in shock" at reading those words?

You know there is a passage from a widely discredited book that I once read, I think it went a little something like this:

Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.

The reaping part is always a bitch, don't you think? 

Is it the two year anniversary of the great Palin brawl? Why yes I do believe it is.

Ah it just seem like yesterday when we were talking about this incredibly embarrassing episode of the Palin family drama.

Before there were custody battles with Dakota, or Track's domestic abuse arrest, or snowmachine "accidents" for Todd in the news, there was the brawl.

If you remember it seemed to take forever for the events of September 6, 2014 to finally completely bubble to the surface. Oh sure we had anonymous tips and intriguing comments to follow, but it was not until October the 21st, that we finally got pictures.

And not until the next day that all of that great audio was finally released by the APD:

Through sobs, Bristol Palin, described as "heavily intoxicated" in the police report, tells police she was pushed to the ground and dragged across the grass while Klingenmeyer called her names. “They took my $300 sunglasses, they took my f**king shoes and I’m f**king just left here?” 

The officer asks where she’s injured. “My f**king knees, my face, where’s my sh*t? I have a 5-year-old in the car,” she replies.

Such a great day.

Of course from there the whole thing took off, and was covered by all kinds of news outlets.

One of my favorite parts was when poor Nancy French was tasked with telling Bristol's side of the story:

After I got out of the car, I didn’t get far. I never even got to talk to his mom, because a guy in his late thirties or early forties got in my face. He was towering over me – probably at 6 foot something and over 200 pounds. He puffed his chest out and started yelling. 

“You c-nt!” he looked right in my eyes and said. “Get the f-ck out of here, you slut!” 

 I was alarmed that things had gotten so bad so fast. But it got even worse when this guy started pushing me. He had his hands on me, pushing me down. That’s when I swung and hit his face. 

 Some would say I should’ve never retaliated in defense against him, but certainly he should never have pushed a girl. It didn’t phase him. He pushed me down to the ground and kept me there. 

It was scary and awful. He held me down until someone got me out of the situation. 

That’s it – that’s the story.

Yeah great story, except it did not match ANY other person's version of events, and in fact did not even match what Bristol told the cops on the released audio.

So here's a little something that I was not able to share before.

Do you remember this guy?

He's the guy who got fired by Todd's pals the McKenna brothers for talking to the press.

Well do you know who else he is?

He's the brother of Levi and Sunny's attorney Darryl Thompson. Oh yeah, that's right.

And they had an appointment before the judge on the Monday following the brawl. So their attorney came armed with this incredible tale to discuss with the judge concerning Bristol's parenting skills.

So yes that means I also knew all about the brawl only a few days after it happened, because part of my deal about lending the Johnstons the money was that they keep me updated on the progress of the custody case

However they told it to me in my capacity as a friend, and not as a blogger, so I was unable to share it with ANYONE until I started getting information from other sources.

Do you have any idea how hard that was for me?

Here was one of the BIGGEST Palin stories to ever come out, and my hands were literally tied by the promises I made. (The custody case is over now so I am not longer bound by that promise.)

Fortunately for all of us the information finally came out in a rather spectacular fashion, so even though I did not get the scoop, it was still great to cover this story.

And since it was still popping up in the news even several months later it just made the whole thing worth it.

For some reason the husband of Bristol's Palin's former ghostwriter is coming to the defense of her new husband.

So after we posted about Dakota Meyer's carelessness around his infant daughter, apparently David French, husband of former Palin ghostwriter Nancy French, decided to throw in his two cents.

Here is a portion from the National Review article titled "Silly People Freak Out Over a Picture of a War Hero and a Gun":

That’s Dakota Meyer — a Marine who was awarded the Medal of Honor for action in the Battle of Ganjgal (you can read my review of his book here). If there is a man alive today who know how to handle a firearm, it’s Dakota Meyer. 

Notwithstanding his expertise and experience, internet trolls freaked out at the proximity of his pistol to his baby daughter. Here’s how the Daily Mail described the picture: 

"In the image, the Medal of Honor winner appears to be getting ready to leave his house. While he can be seen adjusting the holster, Sailor is innocently sucking on her pacifier, unaware that a lethal weapon is mere inches away from her." 

“Mere inches away” — the drama, oh the drama. But I must confess that I’m confused. Is the concern that Meyer’s infant daughter will pitch forward in her car seat, grab the gun while tumbling down from the kitchen island, and fire it while her father stands right next to her – completely helpless? Or is the concern that a baby is next to a gun — and everyone knows that guns just radiate deadliness and malice. 

 I suspect it’s the latter — because it’s obvious to me that Sailor is in absolutely zero physical danger. You can’t even tell from the picture whether the gun is loaded or a round is chambered. Either way, the concerns are ludicrous. I’ve held my youngest daughter — who’s much older than Sailor and far more capable of grabbing a gun – countless times while carrying a firearm, and each time she was “mere inches away” from a “lethal weapon.” The issue isn’t proximity of the gun to the child but whether the adult is in control of access to the gun. Sailor is perfectly safe, and the anti-gun internet remains perfectly ludicrous.

Okay so the first thing I have to wonder is whether the French's are once again in the employ of the Palin family and David is providing some damage control in response to Meyer being raked over the coals for being a dimwit and a shitty parent.

However considering that Palin is hemorrhaging money, and SarahPAC is gasping its last breath, I'm not sure that's the case.

And since this article predates Meyer going off on Trump over his treatment of the military, this cannot be from a sense of camaraderie that the French's feel toward another #NeverTrump devotee.

So we are left with the one of two options. Either David French is simply so goo goo eyed over any Medal of Honor inner that he feels compelled to rush to their defense, or that Dakota is such a delicious hunk of man flesh that David French finds himself slipping out of the closet.

Either one seems both possible, and probable.

Methinks Bristol Palin got a new ghostwriter. Or is Nancy French currently putting bandages on her knees after crawling back into the Palin's good graces?

Courtesy of Bristol's as yet unnamed ghostwriter's blog: 

In light of the two recent events in Florida, with the shooting at the nightclub and the murder of Christina Grimmie, I feel compelled to share my thoughts on the greater scope of life and how precious it is. With the recent birth of our daughter, and starting a new chapter with Dakota; I am now, more than ever, seeing that each moment in life is a blessing. (Translation: "This was supposed to be MY time! Mine I say! I  finally got married and then these two events totally stole my thunder. Dammit, look at me, look at me, look at me now!")

It was just announced that the shooting at the nightclub was a terrorist attack with now 50 people dead and 53 injured. (Oh thank goodness! That means we can talk about it and start attacking Muslims.)This is the worst mass shooting in our history. My heart and prayers go out to the families of the victims. The man responsible is reported to have ties to radical Muslim organizations and was equip with more than just guns, reported he had a “device” of some kind. One could only assume it was a bomb. If this is not a sign that evil is already at our door I don’t know what is. (The guy who shot and killed Christina Grimmie was a white dude, with no ties to Islamic terrorism. So I assume that means what he did is NOT a sign of evil at our door?)

With the murder of Christina Grimmie, it’s tragic how quickly everything can be taken from you. Here is a girl all of 22 years; who went from just wanting to sharing her gift by posting videos on YouTube, to being a huge sensation on the show “The Voice” and still just at the beginning of what promised to be an amazing career. She was very inspirational to many and spent much time with her fans. She was attacked while signing autographs. Her brother was with her at the time and was able to tackle the shooter who took his own life in the ensuing struggle. One thing about Christina people may not know is her humbleness and her faith. She was quoted as saying “I have God, Jesus Christ, I’m Christian. I try to stay as grounded as I possibly can.” So much ahead of her but she is up in heaven now. (Oh, so she was a Christian. I guess in Bristol's world that makes her life more valuable, and worthy of attention. Certainly more worthy than those fifty heathen gay folks.)

So many of us live our day to day lives like there will always be a tomorrow and the fact is one day your time will end and there will be no more tomorrows for you here. There could possibly be a time when your life may be taken prematurely at the hands of another in a cowardly, selfish, horrible act like recently in Florida. Many people are asking why God lets such bad things happen to people? I can’t venture to guess why He would but I do trust in Him and His plan for me. And to say God allowed for things like this to happen would be a misnomer, He didn’t. In John 10:10 is says, “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” (Nancy? Is that you?) What can we take from this passage? We are told that the evil may come for us, yes, but not because we are weak but because we are strong. Life happens… 

Never delay until tomorrow what you could do today because you never know when tomorrow won’t be there. Never be the one who said I wish I had more time. 

You mark my words now that Bristol has her man locked up and back in the corral where he belongs we are going to see a whole lot more of this attention seeking behavior. A whole lot more.

When that Nancy French kerfuffle happened, and Bristol was busy weaving that sex love spell over Dakota, her blog went completely dark for over a month.

But clearly everything is back on track again, which means that the Grizzled Mama's plan for Dakota and her little mini me is once again a go.

As for the puppet master, well she is moving back to the main stage as well.

She has her own post on Breitbart today:

Tremendous sorrow is shared with all those affected by the horror witnessed in Florida. May God’s grace envelope victims’ loved ones. From across the nation, our prayers join yours for peace. 

The solution to these Islamic attacks that would hurl us toward transforming into an intensely frightened, cowering nation? No, it is not more “gun control” that further strips us of the responsibility and means to protect the innocent. The solution begins with acknowledging the threat, for it creates a dark and deadly situation for every American when the leader of the free world leaves Islamic terrorism out of our calculations, when they are among us.

First off if anybody thinks that President Obama is leaving any kind of terrorism "out of our calculations" they are so incredibly ignorant that they would have to be....well they would have to be a Palin.

Secondly clearly Palin's main concern is not for the lives that were lost in Florida, but that this latest mass shooting will give gun control advocates more ammunition (Pardon the pun) to use to reinvigorate talk about stricter policies to keep Americans safe.

Which is true, for a change.

Thirdly, well thirdly I think we can all assume that we are going to start hearing from Sarah, Bristol, and of course their pet war hero Dakota Meyer a whole hell of a lot more in the near future.

Count on it.

Bad news folks. David French says David French is not running for President.

After much thought and prayer: I’m Not Running for President https://t.co/lqWQtPL5Q5

— David French (@DavidAFrench) June 6, 2016

Warning link goes to that rabid Right Wing National Review website: 

I’m not the right person to challenge Trump and Hillary, but the path remains open for others. 

Here is a sentence I never thought I’d type: After days of prayer, reflection, and serious study of the possibilities, I am not going to run as an independent candidate for president of the United States. 

Wait, so the guy that nobody ever heard of, is not launching a campaign that nobody would ever care about, for an office that he is incredibly unqualified to hold?

For purely comedic reasons I am quite disappointed.

Boy that Bill Kristol sure can pick them, can't he?

Well it looks like Bristol Palin's ex-ghostwriter is NOT going to the White House. So I guess she is free to crawl back to the Palins with her tail between her legs and beg for her old job back.

Or perhaps there is some OTHER daughter of a D list celebrity whose identity she can adopt?

David French was so worried that his wife Nancy would cheat on him that he forbade her to drink alcohol or use Facebook while he was in Iraq.

So when David French was in Iraq, he wouldn't let his wife e-mail men or use Facebook. https://t.co/F1tEOwE4sc pic.twitter.com/ZOOV52QXUN

— Kevin Robillard (@PoliticoKevin) May 31, 2016

Hey look I get it, if I looked like David French I would just assume that my woman would be looking for something better every chance she got.

I mean seriously.

Perhaps THAT is why Nancy did not mind pretending to be Bristol Palin for all of those years.

She was living vicariously through the Palin party girl, and while her business was closed down and locked up tight, Bristol was hosting an all you can bang buffet virtually every night.

Just imagine the girl talk back and forth.

"So Bristol what's it like to have an orgasm? What, you mean you don't have to do it through a hole in a sheet? They come in different sizes?"

As for the news that David French is Bill Kristol's potential "Trump Killer," well that has not been received in quite the way I think Kristol imagined.

BREAKING: Bill Kristol anti-Trump presidential nominee David French to get own Wikipedia listing. Soonish. pic.twitter.com/6bBeBRynYb

— The Fucking News (@TheFingNews) May 31, 2016

.@BillKristol's 3rd party messiah is
.@NRO writer David French?! ROTFLMAO! https://t.co/rN4Q3z2iOf #tcot #TrumpTrain
.@KLSouth
.@Mr_Pinko

— C. Steven Tucker (@CSteven) May 31, 2016

With a name like David French you'd think he surrender before he began

— T. A. Whitney III (@T_A_Whitney) May 31, 2016

Bill Kristol actually thinks an independent candidate can win pic.twitter.com/i9rDIEQHpO

— Jim Minardi (@AMillennialMind) May 31, 2016

And those were the nice ones.

Okay I have to go shopping now, there is just NO way to keep enough popcorn in the house these days.

(H/T to Raw Story.)

Well now we know why Nancy French is no longer working as Sarah and Bristol Palin's ghostwriter. Her husband is being tapped to run against Donald Trump! Update!

Nancy and David French on the night that Mitt Romney lost the 2012 election.

Courtesy of Bloomberg Politics:  

Two Republicans intimately familiar with Bill Kristol’s efforts to recruit an independent presidential candidate to challenge Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton have told Bloomberg Politics that the person Kristol has in mind is David French -- whose name the editor of the Weekly Standard floated in the current issue of the magazine. 

French is a veteran of Operation Iraqi Freedom. According to the website of National Review, where French is a staff writer, he is a constitutional lawyer, a recipient of the Bronze Star, and an author of several books who lives in Columbia, Tenn., with his wife Nancy and three children. 

Reached in Israel late Tuesday afternoon, Kristol declined to comment on his efforts to induce French to run. The two Republicans confirmed that French is open to launching a bid, but that he has not made a final decision. One of the Republicans added that French has not lined up a vice-presidential running mate or significant financial support. However, according to this person, some conservative donors look favorably on the prospect of French entering the fray.

Holy crap!

Well I would LOVE to have been a fly on the wall when Palin heard about this one!

Man I hope he takes it.

I mean he is in NO way qualified enough for the job, but can you just imagine the amount of vitriol that will go back and forth between Sarah Palin and the French campaign if this goes forward?

And baby you KNOW that Nancy has seen some shit.

Update: Interesting tweet from a few days ago.

That said, I had a great convo today with @DavidAFrench of @NRO, and he made a strong, principled case for a third party bid.

— Joy Reid (@JoyAnnReid) May 30, 2016

Things that make you go "Hmm."

Dakota Meyer, bless his heart. tries to pander to Donald Trump all on his own, and it's ...well it's pathetic.

Courtesy of Dakota's Facebook page:  

Today I am not only speaking to you as a veteran of the Unites States military but also as an American and a father. In the political climate we find ourselves with candidates for both the Republican and Democratic Parties all but formally announced. It is important to remember not only to vote but that you are not just voting for the candidate’s political platform but the party which they represent. A president is limited in their ability to get things done without the support of those the United States Senate and House of Representatives. It is the party which dictates much of the success of most policies. (You can almost feel teachers all over the country reflexively reaching for their red pencils. Can't you?)

I feel that even though Donald Trump is by far not my candidate of choice but he represents my party and to that end my interests. It is not the Republican Party that over the past 8 years that has splintered this country, weakened its military, drained its economy, or bastardized our first responders. (Bastardized our first responders? WTF?) I’ve been adamant from day one calling for a united country; during the riots in Seattle, Ferguson, and Baltimore, when people where trampling the flag publically (Ooh, nice try.), when there have been demands for segregation, every time there has been a push for further division. Divide and conquer has been the mantra of the Democratic Party for too long and America has suffered for it. Now is the time to rally support and lien (Really?) toward unity to mend the country and bring about positive changes that will lead to the undoing of what’s done over the past 8 years. What this country does not need is another 4, or even 8, years of disassembly, division, and erosion of the constitution. 

The Republican Party is being forced to undergo an overhaul and maybe its long overdue. Now may just be the time take a step forward, evolve as a party (Hopefully one that supports better education.), and to give birth to a new hope for a better country in the years to follow. I support the Republican Party in these upcoming elections and invite you to do the same. 

First off in case somebody with a middle school education goes over and reedits this page trust me that this is verbatim what was written when I posted it.

Secondly let's give Meyer credit for typing this out, most likely with at least two fingers, all on his own.

After all since the Palins apparently lost Nancy French neither Granny Grifter's Facebook page, nor the blog of her little grifter in training have been updated. Which I guess might mean that the Palins realize that they are completely incoherent on their own, or that French refuses to tell them the passwords.

So yes Dakota Meyer, while showing a complete lack of integrity by jumping on the Trump train after earlier coming out in support of Ted Cruz, at least has the balls to demonstrate his political naivete in all of its misspelled and poorly typed glory.

As Sarah Palin would say "Hoohah!"

In 1992 Donald Trump blamed the female victim when Mike Tyson was convicted of rape. Seriously anybody surprised?

Courtesy of Mother Jones:

In October, GOP front-runner Donald Trump got a surprise endorsement from infamous boxer Mike Tyson. "He should be president of the United States," Tyson told the Huffington Post. "Hell yeah, big time!" Tyson said he liked Trump's business instincts: "The guy is winning fair and square, he's not bribing anybody." 

Trump and Tyson are old friends who did business together in the late 1980s, when the real estate mogul promoted and hosted several of Tyson's fights at his Atlantic City casinos and even fashioned himself for a time as the boxer's "business adviser." And in a largely forgotten episode, Trump came to the boxer's aid during one the darkest moments of Tyson's career—his 1992 conviction for raping a beauty queen. To save the champ from being locked up, Trump pitched a highly controversial proposal that would have essentially allowed Tyson to buy his way out of prison. To some observers, it looked like Trump was engaging in a form of bribery—or at least attempting to rig the system.

Oh yeah Hillary Clinton is going to have MOUNTAINS of opposition research to use against this misogynist asshole in November.

And how ironic is it that just yesterday Nancy French was bringing up Mike Tyson's name as an example of the kind of jerk who said sexist things about Bristol's mom? 

I would ask if knowing this changes Palin's opinion of her presidential choice, but let's face it if hypocrisy were cheesecake she would weigh 500 pounds. 

Nancy French posts one of the most grammatically incorrect poorly edited pieces on behalf of Bristol Palin that I have ever seen. And remember, I cover the Palins.

First this courtesy of Breitbart:  

Mere months after the Palins supported Schilling’s remarks comparing Islamic extremists to Nazi, the former Alaska governor and her eldest daughter defended Schilling after he was canned by the liberal sports network ESPN. Schilling simply made his opinions known regarding grown men using the same bathrooms as little girls. He dealt with facts. Of course, conservative thought is not welcome in the world of ESPN, and because of Schilling’s stance, he was fired. 

Many remained silent. Others blasted Schilling. But the Palins weren’t shy about backing the three-time World Series champion. Sarah Palin wrote on social media, “ESPN continues to screw up.” Bristol weighed in with “Curt Schilling got fired for telling the truth.” 

Schilling, while appreciative, wishes the Palins didn’t feel obligated to rush in from the bullpen. “The embarrassing and pathetic thing is they would have to,” said Schilling while speaking on Mama Grizzly Radio this week. “Me being fired for being a conservative American was only a matter of time from ESPN”

So to be clear Schilling actually went on "Mama Grizzly Radio" which is so under the radar that even I forgot that it still existed.

That right there tells you how pathetic this Schilling guy is.

But perhaps not nearly as pathetic as Nancy French who once again demonstrated her complete lack of integrity by posing as Sarah Palin's brawling baby making daughter and typed out this middle school level response (Now keep in mind I, in no way, altered the content of what follows): 

Here’s the thing, Curt — we don’t feel obligated to defend you. It’s RIGHT to stand up and fight for the culture while the left tries to flush it down the toilet. But I don’t know why you’re saying that ESPN fired you for being conservative. Remember how ESPN came down hard these guys? 

— when commentator Tony Kornheiser when he compared the tea party to ISIS 

— when ESPN documentary film maker Spike Lee who said he just can’t stand interracial couples: “I give interracial couples a look. Daggers. They get uncomfortable when they see me on the street.”

— or when Lee, after he said he wanted to shoot Charlton Heston with a .44-caliber Bulldog.

 — or when Lee, after he claimed Trent Lott was “a card-carrying member of the Klan. I know he has that hood in the closet.” 

— or when Charles Barkley (on ESPN’s “Waddle & Silvy” radio show) said, “Well, you know, I have a thing for Sarah Palin,” he explained. “I think she’s hot. I wouldn’t vote for her, but she is hot now. … I’ve always said, I’ve got a crush on Sarah Palin. I would never vote for her, I’ll always vote Democratic. I think you’ve got a better chance of helping poor people if you vote Democratic. … But I’ll always have a thing for Sarah Palin.” 

— or that time when Mike Tyson said that my mom should have her guts raped out of her. (As usual this last part is a lie. Tyson never said she should be raped. Here are his exact words.)


So here's a fun game we can play, let's count the number of errors in that post.

You know I am not sure if Nancy French is just saying "fuck it I don't get paid enough to put a lot of effort into this job anymore," or if Sarah is finally making Bristol do some of the typing herself. 

Either way this was quite a pathetic attempt to garner a little publicity by defending the indefensible.

Nancy French expands on the transgender hate mongering that she did on Sarah Palin's Facebook page over on that blog where she pretends to be Bristol Palin.

Courtesy of Brancy's blog:  

You may have seen that ESPN commentator Curt Schilling was either fired or suspended for commenting about the above meme: 

“A man is a man no matter what they call themselves. I don’t care what they are, who they sleep with, men’s room was designed for the penis, women’s not so much. Now you need laws telling us differently? Pathetic.” 

In other words, he got in trouble for stating an obvious fact. 

Men are men.

I imagine that there are a whole lot of things that Nancy French has to carefully explain to Bristol Palin, but I am fairly confident she understands the word "penis."

Nancy French goes on to compare this stupid thing that Curt Schilling said to that stupid thing that Phil Robertson said, and then chalks off the fact that people were upset to "political correctness" which has now become a catch phrase to excuse everything from misogyny, to racism, to even death threats.

"Hey, hey I only threatened to kill you and your whole family if you do not vote for Donald Trump at the convention, why you gotta be so sensitive?"

Now while I am certain that this post, like every other blog post, was written by the ethically deficient Nancy French, Wonkette seems to think that Bristol could have pulled it off on her own: 

Bristol Palin knows about men. They are the ones what knock on her bedroom window in the night and then nine months later, after such an odd sort of weight gain, God blesses her with a baby. Men have fun doohickeys in their pants, and Bristol suspects they might be related to the whole “baby” thing, but you never know if you can trust lamestream biology textbooks. 

Point taken, but since the blog post also contains words like Utopia, functionality, and hypocritical, I am sticking to my belief that Bristol Palin never even reads the blog named in her honor much less writes on it.

Once again let me just say that somewhere out there is psychologist missing a golden opportunity to write a book about the bizarre and vaguely incestuous relationship between a mother, her daughter, and the woman who is paid by the mother to pretend to be the daughter.

They could call it "The Three Faces of Evil."

Sarah Palin has her fake daughter defend her on the internet again.

Of course the humorous part is that Bristol did not write a word of the post that Palin links to.

In fact it is most likely that Nancy also wrote this Facebook post linking to her article.

I work in mental health, and that is literally one of the most psychotically convoluted things I have ever seen.

This is a person pretending to be Sarah Palin, linking to an article by the herself pretending to be Sarah Palin's daughter, in defense of the real Sarah Palin. (Assuming of course that Sarah Palin is in fact real.)

The thing is that French is correct in calling out the author of an article claiming that Palin was going to debate Bill Nye for lying.

However it was kind of funny that she linked to this article by the Friendly Atheist revealing that it was a lie, but also shaming the organizers of that climate change denying event for using Bill Nye's name to falsely drum up interest.

Speaking of psychotically convoluted.

Bristol Palin accuses Twitter of reverse racism for not deleting Azealia Banks' account over remarks she made about her mother.

As I mentioned earlier Sarah Palin apparently made a call on the batphone and forced Bristol Palin/Nancy French to jump in and defend her over the Azealia Banks comments.

Of course they wanted Banks to be kicked off Twitter and possibly run out of the country, but as it turned out nothing really happened because everybody hates the Palins and, you know, free speech and all.

Well if you thought that was going to be the end of it, you my friend do NOT know the Palins.

So Bristol, or perhaps a Bristol impersonator, went to Fox News:

“Twitter’s own words -- 'We believe that protection from abuse and harassment is a vital part of empowering people to freely express themselves on Twitter’,” Bristol told FOX411, quoting the social media site’s policy “I cannot imagine what they would have done if races were reversed. It's unfortunate that Twitter is not truly colorblind in this situation with regards to Miss Banks and her threats.”

"Twitter is not truly colorblind?" Does that mean that Bristol thinks that Banks did not lose her account because she is black? Because that is a pretty fucked up thing to suggest.

This was followed up with comments from "a source close to the Palins," who I would bet my house is Nancy French: 

“What is most disturbing is Twitter's failure to act when Miss Banks actively supported and encouraged her fans to seek out the Palin's personal home address, break in and inflict harm on the Palin family. Especially when it’s now been proven that Twitter was alerted to these threats on their platform and the lengthy history of deranged stalkers with violent intentions who have broken into the Palin family's properties and been arrested, charged and convicted by local and federal authorities. This is not a laughing matter and far crosses the line of freedom of speech.”

Yeah it's sort of reminiscent of when Palin supporters threatened to "shoot" me "on the playground in front of the children" or when they harassed the family of Joe McGinniss so aggressively that his wife and children had to change their e-mail addresses.

Oh wait, that was actually worse.

Of course while I would not defend the remarks made by Azealia Banks, many of the things said, or insinuated, by Sarah Palin have been much worse.

And let's face it when it comes to deranged, psychotic, and potentially dangerous fans Azealia Banks has nothing on Sarah Palin.

Which I have little doubt we will see for ourselves about an hour after this post gets published.

Bristol Palin, famous for constantly claiming that somebody is abusing her, tells the female reporter who was roughed up by Donald Trump's campaign manager to "toughen up."

Over on the blog that Bristol actually has virtually nothing to do with, Nancy French posted this tweet from Piers Morgan, and then followed it up with these mean girl remarks:  

Did you watch the video? 

An assault charge against this guy??? 

Ridiculous. 

I bet Michelle Fields feels like an idiot after this video was released. 

This was NOT an assault. 

As Piers Morgan wrote, “A man would have been condemned as a laughing stock for complaining” about that slight event. 

He’s right. Toughen up.

The video that Brancy is referring to is this one which clearly shows Corey Lewandowski grabbing Michelle Fields by the arm and jerking her back.
Of course that is by now actually old news since we have all moved on to the ignorant things that Donald Trump said about punishing women for having abortions, but perhaps Nancy/Bristol/Sarah is just a little slow on the uptake.

Of course the irony of Bristol "They took my $300 sunglasses" Palin telling anybody to toughen up is mind numbing.

Let's not forget that this is a woman who once claimed to have been raped in Juneau, wrote in a book that the father of her child got her drunk and raped her in a tent, testified in a court of law that she was terrified of crank calls because "We live in the middle of nowhere in Alaska," and then hit Korey Klingenmeyer in the face multiple times, without making a dent, after which her father and brother attacked him and got their asses handed to them as well.

However even more pathetic than that is the fact that Nancy French, who is vocally supporting the #NeverTrump campaign,  is still selling her "skills" to Sarah Palin for some SarahPAC crumbs.

I keep wanting to use the word pathetic to describe these people, but honestly it just does not seem pathetic enough.

Bristol Palin's ghostwriter, Nancy French, jumps on the "#NeverTrump" bandwagon. Can you say "Awkward?"

Courtesy of the blog that Nancy French writes as herself, Nancy French:  

My husband David and I have been pretty politically involved for many years. If you know us personally, you have suffered through eight years of fervent Romney advocacy in which we discussed ad infinitum his various strengths. It’s been a liberating to be a free agent during this Presidential election. I told myself that I didn’t care as much, that I didn’t have to get involved. Not after eight years of futility. However, this race demands people take action. 2016 is not a time for fence sitting, no matter how fatigued by politics I may be. 

David, as you know, writes for National Review. For the past few weeks, he’s been on a mission — to stop Trump’s momentum. This has caused us to be targeted by vile anti-Trump supporters (who point out our daughter’s race — she’s from Africa — and who insult us personally). Though most Trump supporters are good, hard working folks who are simply sick of the overreaching government, these online supporters have a tone of racism that I can’t ignore. However, I won’t let them silence me. David used to believe he’d support the eventual GOP nominee no matter who was chosen. Today, he wrote that he was wrong. He will not support Trump, no matter what.

With that French essentially announces that she too cannot support Trump, and will work to deny him the nomination.

I know many of my dear friends love and support Trump, so this political divide has caused me much personal pain. However, now is not the time for fence-sitting.

Well of course one of those "dear friends," and consistent source of revenue, is Sarah Palin who hired French to make her daughter appear to be more than a round heels simpleton, whose legs are in the air more often than an Olympic gymnast's.

Palin, as we know, is an ardent supporter of Donald Trump, and she has been paying French to make it appear that her ditsy daughter is shaking her pom poms right beside her.

Which she did just the other day: 

Happy Super Tuesday, America! 

Alaskans – get out and vote. Click here to find out how and where. 

P.S. – I’m voting for Trump. We need a commonsense conservative who doesn’t have a hidden agenda to bring to Washington.

Oh yeah, THAT must have been tough for her to write.

Personally I have wondered how French hung in this long. I mean here she is wearing her best Bristol Palin wig and typing up pro-life and Christian saturated blog posts, while Bristol is out getting into drunken fistfights and allowing men to whom she is not married knock her up.

But I have to wonder if THIS might be the straw that broke the camel toe's back.

I mean it is one thing to help the Grizzled Mama pretend that her daughter is not a gin soaked good time Sally, but this is Donald "freaking" Trump we are talking about.

Clearly Nancy French's integrity is up for sale, but is she really willing to sell out her country for a handful of SarahPAC dollars?

Bristol has some tips for celebrating Valentine's Day alone. No, really! (Well not REALLY really.)

The reason of course that this is not REALLY real, is because both this Facebook post, and the blog post it links to, are written not by Bristol Palin, but by Nancy French.

And of course French's post is liberally borrowed from other sources as well, however this seemed to be an original thought of her own:  

Take a break from social media. 

The more you compare your life to others, the worse it is. Here’s the truth that you already know: people only post the most heavily filtered version of their lives online. (You know it, because you do that too!) So, don’t compare your real life to the edited version of your friends… especially on Valentine’s Day when people are hell-bent on posting their MOST ROMANTIC DAY EVER. 

Please. 

Take a step away from your phone, know you are loved, that you aren’t alone, and that February 15th is coming.

Which kind of begs the question, is this written as a message to others from Bristol Palin, or as a message from her deeply concerned ghostwriter TO Bristol Palin?

One can only imagine the kind of hell Barstool must be going thought right now, with two custody fights weighing her down, and a newborn cockblocking her next romantic groin grinding in the bed of some guy's pickup truck.

I'm not saying that it is not a hell that she richly deserves, I'm just pointing out its existence. 

Bristol Palin (Well Really Nancy French) don't want you to forget this one thing about Carly Fiorina now that she has quit on her campaign.

52 and still looks this good 🙀

A photo posted by Bristol Palin (@bsmp2) on Feb 11, 2016 at 9:19am PST

(Bristol Palin wishing her sugar momma a happy birthday.)


So as you guys know yesterday Carly Fiorina had a rational moment and realized that nobody in their right mind would ever elect her to anything, and jumped out of the GOP clown car.

That is arguably good news for just about everybody.

Everybody that is except Brancy who has a case of the sads:

I sort of hate to hear that Carly Fiorina is suspending her campaign. 

But let’s take a moment to remember this amazing 35 seconds that she delivered during one of the debates!

Then Brancy embedded this soon to be iconic video.

Here's the thing, I also don't want people to forget that Carly Fiorina said such an ignorant thing during a nationally televised debate.

Especially as it was proven to be complete bullshit.

Gee it's so rare that I agree with anything that Nancy French/Bristol Palin/Sarah Palin has to say that I am going to take a moment to bask in the golden light of our unity on this issue.

Okay, done basking now. 

Sarah Palin uses her Down syndrome child to cover for a heartless attack on poor folks in Maine.

Courtesy of Hypocritical Hattie's Facebook page:  

Get Off Your Butt To Make a Buck 

Good things come from the beautiful state of Maine. (I met the nicest lady visiting Trig's school yesterday for our "Lunch With a Loved One" reading event, all the way up here from Maine to visit grandkids, representing her state so graciously!) Good stuff from the Pine Tree State, including some tough love to restore work ethic.

Well isn't that sweet? Mom came to visit at Trig's school.

Well it would be if she then did not use at an opportunity to link to a Nancy French written post over at Brancy's blog, which cheers Maine Governor Paul LaPage's decision to require food stamp recipients without children to get a job or lose benefits.

In the post French applauds the fact that LaPage managed to kick 80 percent of the people off of the program, claiming that they must not have needed the help in the first place.

However what they seemed to have missed was the fact that charitable organizations in Maine have been working overtime in order to fill the gap.

Courtesy of the Portland Press Herald:  

The growth of Good Shepherd and other charitable organizations shows how far government efforts are falling short, and the transformation of emergency interventions into permanent institutions is proof that Maine’s weak response to hunger is making the problem worse. 

How big is the problem? 

According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, there are approximately 206,000 Mainers who experience food insecurity, the term for those who don’t have enough money to reliably get their hands on an adequate supply of safe, nutritious food. 

That number includes 24 percent of Maine’s children and 23 percent of its seniors. Maine ranks 12th in the nation for this measure of hunger, and first – or worst – in New England. 

But while the problem grows, the state’s response has been to pull back, using government policy to reduce the number of people who receive aid through entirely federally funded programs, leaving money in Washington that could be helping people here and putting more pressure on individuals who support charities and whose consciences won’t permit them to turn their backs.

“We’re no longer for emergencies. We’re a regular supplier of people’s food,” said Kristen Miale, Good Shepherd’s president, in a recent interview with the Maine Sunday Telegram. “Food banking isn’t the solution to hunger.”

I guess the folks behind the Good Shepherd understand the concept of being a good Christian.

What a shame that not all of those hiding behind that label recognize the responsibility.

Nancy French channels Sarah Palin's anger at Tina Fey's impression of her, by accusing SNL of being desperate. All while posing as her daughter Bristol Palin of course.

Courtesy of Brancy's blog: 

I’m sure many of you saw Tina Fey, who sounds nothing like my mom, do a skit based on my Mom’s endorsement of Donald Trump. 

I don’t know about you, but hearing her fake accent is like nails on a chalkboard for me!

You know you can decide for yourself whether or not Fey sounds like Palin by watching the Vine embedded below.

Oh yeah, they sound NOTHING alike. You know, except exactly.

Well at least she's right about that nails on a chalkboard thing.

Wait you're going to love this part:

I may be biased, but I think my mom trumps her in the looks department. (Especially for having three more kids and seven more years on Tina!)

Is anybody else visualizing the e-mail exchange that instigated THAT defensive remark?

But of course Nancy/Sarah/Bristol is not done yet:

Saturday Night Live and Fey have been clinging to this impersonation a little too long. It’s getting pathetic. Its been 7 years! Are they desperate for content? Or just desperate for viewers?

French then mocks the fact that SNL does not have a fancy PAC to help them buy super expensive porcupine wear, and had to make Fey's version in their costume department.

There's a "who wore it better poll" offered as well for click bait, but seriously is that even a contest?

In the other news it looks like Bristol is returning to that fake job of hers and abandoning yet another child to a nanny, or poorly qualified sibling to watch.

Oddly enough the People magazine article that featured this photo also said the following:On Dec. 23, Palin welcomed daughter Sailor Grace, whose father is former fiancé Dakota Meyer.

Uh, isn't that sort of an unsettled matter thus far?  Or does People magazine know something we don't know?